Sexpectations
Helping the Next Generation Navigate Healthy Relationships
by Barb Winters
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Pub Date Aug 08 2023 | Archive Date Apr 05 2024
Abilene Christian University Press & Leafwood Publishers | Leafwood Publishers
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Description
Distorted views of intimate relationships abound. Let's offer youth a better option.
Social media, television, and the Internet feed destructive information to tweens, teens, and young adults. Hookup culture, the acceptance of sending nudes, and rampant pornography contribute to unrealistic sexual expectations. At what cost?
Barb Winters addresses the heavy loads of anxiety, worry, and depression among young people. She offers practical advice for presenting healthier options. Today’s youth are eager, passionate, and impressionable. They look to parents, grandparents, youth leaders, and other trusted adults for direction. Sexpectations will help equip you to make a difference and be part of the solution:
- Discover factors contributing to the declining health of relationships.
- Examine consequences of a “casual sex is acceptable” societal attitude.
- Explore four foundational attributes of healthy relationships based on God’s Word: love, selflessness, mutuality, and communication.
- Uncover biblical principles for healing from wounds caused by abnormal sexual behaviors.
- Find out how you and your child can restore, reconcile, and maintain healthy relationships.
- Learn how to have effective and ongoing conversations with the youth in your life about pornography, hookup culture, nudes, and God’s design for sex.
Advance Praise
“Barb Winters is a fantastic resource for people looking for practical tips on how to talk with preteens and teens about healthy relationships amidst today’s culture of pornography, social media, and hookups. I am confident her book will be a blessing to many.”
—Dr. John D. Foubert, PhD, author of Protecting Your Children from Internet Pornography; board member of National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE)
"Barb courageously takes her experience as a mom blindsided by porn and has written this tremendously valuable resource for others to help kids navigate today's hypersexualized culture."
—Crystal Renaud Day, MAPC, Founder of SheRecovery and author of Dirty Girls Renewed
“In her book, Sexpectations, author Barb Winters gives all those who love teenagers, a great gift. She comes alongside responsible adults as they help the young people in their lives navigate the difficult world of relationships. Using a solid biblical foundation, she shares encouragement and solid structure to help us stay God-centered when tackling this hard subject. In this book, every reader is sure to find the hope and affirmation so needed in our world today.”
—Edie Melson, award-winning author and Director of the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference
“Barb Winters has done an incredible job addressing tough issues all families, churches, and youth groups face. As a therapist, school counselor, and mom of young adults, I'm grateful she is frank about the effects of a sexualized culture, while also pointing to a better way in Christ. A must read for all parents, youth leaders, and anyone needing to connect with today’s youth.”
—Brenda Yoder, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, School Counselor, author of Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind
“Sexpectations is a calming voice to parents in the midst of the chaos of trying to talk with older kids about sex. Barb candidly shares her own parenting journey to demonstrate that even when we do not do this perfectly, there can be hope for our kids. I appreciate how Barb goes beyond just “what to say to kids” but includes work that we need to do as parents throughout this process. Sexpectations is an emotional rock for parents to stand on as they navigate these waters.”
—John Fort, Director of Training at Be Broken Ministries
“Barb Winters offers a gift to parents and families learning to navigate a cultural minefield. Eight chapters are packed with relevant truths and augmented with relatable illustrations. She identifies the pitfalls of unhealthy relationships, shares foundations for healthy ones, and provides principles to pursue recovery from wrong choices. Sexpectations meets contemporary needs by offering practical helps. You’ll find yourself referring to this valuable resource again and again.”
—Ava Pennington, Bible Study Fellowship teacher and author of Reflections on the Names of God: 180 Devotions to Know God More Fully
“As someone who has helped families dealing with porn addiction and sexual sin for 24 years, I can confidently say Barb does a great job addressing the issue in Sexpectations. This book is a powerful resource for any person or family trying to come to terms with habits for healthy relationships. More importantly, it will provide the reader with real tools to help those you love know how to heal and find sexual wholeness in Jesus Christ.”
—Dr. John Thorington, author of Pure Teens: Honoring God, Relationships, and Sex; Owner/licensed therapist of Restoring Hearts Counseling
“When it comes to the raising kids in an increasingly sexually broken world, it is no longer enough to pick up the wounded, we have to go on the offensive. Barb Winters has done an excellent job in picking up the torch on behalf of caregivers everywhere by unflinchingly, thoroughly, and lovingly exposing the depth of the challenges before us, and the hope that can be found in proven, practical, Christ-centered solutions.”
—Rosie Makinney, Founder of Fight For Love Ministries and author of Fight For Love
“Sexpectations is about so much more than sex. It provides a biblically sound roadmap to understand how culture has warped relationships and intimacy, and, more importantly, how families can emerge strong and healthy, defying this distortion. Parenting in the digital age is one of the most challenging experiences any of us will ever have, and Barb shares her own stories with refreshing vulnerability. This book will supercharge your sense of purpose as a parent, giving you the courage and tools to more deeply connect with your kids and more resolutely stand against the toxicity of our culture.”
—Sarah Siegand, Cofounder of Parents Who Fight
“Barb Winters presents a compelling, easy-to-understand guide for discussing the prevalent issues of sexting, pornography, and cultural immorality with today’s youth. True change happens when we understand the mechanics behind an issue and can turn our eyes to God, rather than lament the negative side effects of our toxic culture. As trusted adults in our children’s lives, we need to arm ourselves with the right knowledge to rescue our kids from the influence of culture. Reading Sexpectations is an excellent step toward that goal.”
—Melanie Hempe, BSN, Founder of ScreenStrong and author of Can Your Teen Survive—and Thrive—Without a Smartphone?
“Have you struggled to understand why so many young people have a problem with pornography today? Have you wondered what’s behind it? Maybe you are a parent who wants to protect your teen to be sure this doesn’t happen to them. Or maybe, like Barb Winters, you’ve discovered they already have a problem and you need help to know what to do. If you fall into any of these categories, Sexpectations is for you. Barb will help you understand the hookup culture and what has gone wrong with relationships, which is at the heart of pornography. But she won’t leave you without a remedy. She gives hope for recovery and restoration. Her son also shared a little of his journey from his adult perspective as one who has successfully overcome. His honest story gives even more hope for those who feel trapped in the snare of pornography. A big thank you goes to Barb Winters for addressing a topic not many Christian writers are brave enough to take on!”
—Dena Yohe, Cofounder of Hope for Hurting Parents and award-winning author of You Are Not Alone: Hope for Hurting Parents of Troubled Kids
“The world continually promotes self-love, self-happiness, and self-gratification. Unfortunately, as part of a ‘hookup culture,’ children are caught in the web of evil intentions from social media and computer screens that targets children as young as eight with pornography. Barb shares her and her family’s struggles to understand true love and how to protect children from falling victim to this world that has ever-increasingly polluted what love truly means. She offers ways to protect and educate the family so parents will be prepared and children will be safe. It’s a complicated conversation but essential to protect the most innocent victims and help maintain dignity and love within the home and marriage.”
—Lee Ann Mancini, Raising Christian Kids podcaster, author, Executive Producer of Sea Kids, and Adjunct Professor at South Florida Bible College & Theological Seminary
“In a world where there is so much confusion about sex and sexual identity, we need clear-minded and compassionate voices like Barb Winters to speak into this issue with cultural relevance and well-defined biblical convictions. The author not only carefully outlines how incorrect beliefs about sex have harmful effects on relationships but shows how relationships can be strengthened, healed, and rebuilt through biblical habits. The author’s practical wisdom, straight talk, and hopeful tone make this book a winner.”
—Gary P. Rohrmayer, President, Converge MidAmerica|Southeast|Caribbean
Available Editions
EDITION | Paperback |
ISBN | 9781684262120 |
PRICE | $17.99 (USD) |
PAGES | 192 |
Available on NetGalley
Featured Reviews
This book was amazing. As a young adult that is single, I can say that this is so true. It is amazing that there is a book finally talking about it. All throughout High School, it was a common thing for people to hook-up. It became an expectation. Even other Christians fell under the influence and pressure of the main-stream.
This book is so helpful and something every Christian should read, especially the Young Adults and Singles looking for someone.
I loved everything about this book and appreciated the message behind it.
Highly recommend.
While there are certain things peppered throughout this book that I don’t necessarily agree with, I do think it is a good book for Christian youth to read who are looking for answers to achieve a moral foundation sexually as well as parents who are trying to figure out how to approach the topic with their children. It’s definitely something that needs to be taught at home more. We can’t depend or rely on our schools or churches to teach this, nor should we. Parents need to enlighten and educate their children on the dangers as well as the beauty of sex and this book gives a lot of great pointers as to how to do that.
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