The Heartbreak Years

A hilariously intimate memoir that gets to the turbulent joys and pains of coming of age and looking for love as a Black woman in America.

In the car she’d had since high school—with the boyfriend she’d had just as long riding shotgun—Minda Honey made the cross-country drive to sunny Southern California. By the end of 2008, Obama would be president, she’d be single, and change would be upon us all.

Thousands of miles away from her family and friends in the new era of smartphones and online dating, Minda navigates the treacherous waters of early adulthood and love: confounding relationships, steamy hookups, meet-cutes, chillingly narrow escapes, and the realization that nothing plays out quite like the rom-coms she’d bet her heart on as a teenager. She was frustrated, heartbroken, resentful—and free. Kinda. From California to Colorado to her hometown in Kentucky, Minda sets out to relaunch her life outside all that defined her adolescence.

In an unflinching memoir, Minda casts her gimlet eye on her past relationships and the complicated dynamics of consent culture, gender, sexuality, race, and class. Remembering the promise and disappointments of her twenties with wisdom and compassion, this is Minda’s story of a Black woman coming into herself and changing her own world with resilience and bracing independence.

Minda Honey’s essays on politics and relationships have appeared in the Los Angeles Review of Books, the Washington Post, the Guardian, the Oxford American, Teen Vogue, and Longreads. She is the editor of Black Joy at Reckon News and was director of the BFA in Creative Writing program at Spalding University, an advice columnist for LEO Weekly in Louisville, Kentucky, and founder of the alt-indie publication TAUNT. Her work is featured in Burn It Down: Women Writing about Anger, A Measure of Belonging: Twenty-One Writers of Color on the New American South, and Sex and the Single Woman: 24 Writers Reimagine Helen Gurley Brown’s Cult Classic. For more information visit www.mindahoney.com.