Disappointing Affirmations
by Dave Tarnowski
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Pub Date Mar 12 2024 | Archive Date Mar 11 2024
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Description
From the wildly popular Instagram account, Disappointing Affirmations hilariously counters the culture of relentless toxic positivity with a realistic take on a disappointing world where failure is always an option, but that’s okay.
Pairing lovely vacation photos taken by the author himself with sayings that are amusingly self-critical, encouraging, disillusioned, or all three at once, Tarnowski points to feelings commonly unacknowledged or hidden and spotlights them with humor, wit, and empathy. You can do it! But you probably won’t. But also: Be kind to yourself, asshole. Transforming and re-envisioning the material for print while adding tons of new work, this is the funny-because-it’s-true, sneaky self-help gift book for anyone who isn’t happy all the time and doesn’t feel seen in the whole “positive mental attitude” culture. Unfollow your dreams!
IT REALLY IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY: People say, “It’s okay to not be okay,” but then it feels like they need you to be okay. This subversively funny book is the perfect way to remind ourselves, or anyone who needs it, that it's better to deal with our feelings honestly than fall into the “positive vibes only” self-help trap.
COMEDY FOR A NEW ERA: Wellness has been slowly taking a darker turn in popular culture, and comedy is no exception. From Inside by Bo Burnham to the absurdity of TV giant Succession, audiences are drawn to media that embraces discomfort rather than drowning it out. Disappointing Affirmations may not look very comforting, but not all self-care comes in the form of warm hugs and sunrise yoga.
FOR HUMOR BOOK FANS: Seeking a gift for the anti-optimist in your life? This one fits the bill for fans of satirical doom classics and self-help antidotes such as All My Friends Are Dead, Am I Overthinking This?, the Worst Case Scenario series, and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.
THERE’S MORE: See also the Disappointing AffirmationsPencils and Disappointing Affirmations: 30 Postcards set. You won’t be disappointed.
Perfect for:
- College grads, people entering the workforce, people who wish they hadn’t entered the workforce
- Fans of the @disappointingaffirmations Instagram account
- Anyone who isn't always cheerful and doesn't feel seen
- Fans of satire and sarcastic humor
- Anyone feeling burnout, empathy fatigue, positivity fatigue, or fatigue in general
Available Editions
EDITION | Other Format |
ISBN | 9781797226668 |
PRICE | $14.95 (USD) |
PAGES | 96 |
Available on NetGalley
Featured Reviews
I loved this so much that I immediately went online to see how to preorder the book and looked to see if there were other mediums -- great news, there are postcards too!
Positive affirmations are great but it's wonderful to see something real and know that I'm not alone.
Thanks SO MUCH to NetGalley for letting me read this
If I could give this book ten stars, I totally would. My daughter and I read these in one sitting and laughed so much that we were crying. I then read them all again. I follow this account on instagram, too, and I cannot recommend it enough. I normally don't enjoy humor that puts others down but this is written in such a way that it is clear it's humor and not personal. I just love it and will read it again and again any time i need a good, honest laugh.
with gratitude to netgalley and Chronicle Books for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review
What a darn joy. I follow this account on instagram so I for sure needed this when it came up. Maybe it shows how mentally ill I am that I related to every affirmation. I made a sign in my house based off of one. Love it. Healed me.
Anyone who has followed Dave Tarnowski's instagram posts knows what good medicine "Disappointing Affirmations" are for a culture steeped in toxic positivity. They are fabulous! Perfect for when you need encouragement or a laugh. Great to share with co-workers and friends. Highly recommended! Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.
A hilarious look at non postive affirmations on gorgeous postive landscapes. I giggled at a lot of them. I know it’s not for everyone but I personally found it hilarious!
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
"Negative" feelings need affirming too."
Disappointing Affirmations by Dave Tarnowski offers a scathingly funny new twist on how we approach our feelings. Too often, negative feelings are admonished and seen as selfish, shameful, and even "problematic." In recent years, the phenomenon of being positive about everything, even in light of needing to be aware of something harmful or outright sad or destructive, has become prevalent online and in every day life. We see marketing about always forcing a smile and being bubbly, cheery, and happy. We see people online talking about toxic positivity.
In response, we have seen an increase in the exact opposite-- examples that immediately come to mind is the InspiroBot phenomenon, where negative feelings are challenged with often hilarious and overexaggerated quotes poking fun at depression, sadness, and loneliness. As well, the Sorrowscopes twitter does the same, with equally funny bites of ironic negativity.
Disappointing Affirmations challenges the belief that we have to always be "happy" in order to move forward and succeed in a sarcastic, hilarious way in which the core theme is that these negative emotions and feelings deserve to be acknowledged in their own right. That, in fact, there is power in saying "I feel bad" and having someone else affirm that by saying "hey, me too." There is power within the solidarity of having someone there who shares in your struggles.
In fact, Disappointing Affirmations offers us the ability and space to voice these emotions, give them weight, pull them out of your chest and lay them bare in front of yourself, and then move forward without having to carry that weight on your shoulders. As Dave Tarnowski says in his forward, "nothing takes the power away from a fear like looking at it straight on."
Most importantly, Dave Tarnowski's Disappointing Affirmations are not a message saying never do anything, or that you can't climb out of the darkness, but instead he says: "don't be afraid to try new things, like maybe getting your shit together."
Thank you Dave Tarnowski and Chronicle Books for this advance copy!
This is absolutely hilarious. I wish I could print these out on card-stock and thumbtack them to my cubicle. Some of my coworkers need to see them too.
I follow the Disappointing Affirmations instagram and have for quite some time now. It's one of the few accounts that aren't a family or friend that I have set up to notify me of new posts. I was so excited to see this book offered up on netgalley for full review! Something about the mix of snark, sad thoughts and gorgeous pictures make my day. I'm not one to usually enjoy cheesy quotes that placate a bad day so these just work for me. They honestly usually give me pause and cause some self reflection on bad days. Am I the problem? Most definitely but hey, so is Dave so at least I'm not alone! I'm pretty sure this book will be featured prominently on my coffee table upon publishing.
Disappointing Affirmations by Dave Tarnowski is absolutely hilarious. I have followed Disappointing Affirmations on Instagram for a while. This book takes the best of that work and adds even more laughs. I also did not know that the author took the photos himself. They are lovely.
Thank you to Netgalley and Chronicle Books for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I’m a big fan of the Disappointing Affirmations Instagram account, so I was beyond thrilled to get the chance to read an ARC of this book. It was everything I hoped it would be: equal parts heart and tongue-in-cheek. This book makes me feel SO seen, and once it’s available for purchase, I’ll be buying physical copies for myself and a few friends, too. This is a book I know I’ll come back to often and page through when I need it—and these days, I feel like I need it a LOT.
Disappointing Affirmations was 100% NOT disappointing! I sat and read all of it in 1 sitting. The imagery was great! It gave it an even more sarcastic feel. I have to be honest, it made me feel better about myself and ability to cop using dark humor! So glad I read these!
I got some good laughs from reading these! I also liked the photos used for each affirmation. Super quick to read which is perfect for in between novels.
I have follow Dave's Instagram account and absolutely love every single post. It's so nice to have them all in a single place, plus a few new ones. This will make a great gift for like-minded friends.
I loved Disappointing Affirmations. I follow the Instagram page and it’s always nice to be able to see a collection of “posts” in a compilation. I recognized some of the affirmations from his Insta, but I feel a lot of it was new material. The photographs seemed to match the affirmations in mood, but I found myself wondering where some of the beautiful photos were taken and this information was not included. I am not sure if this will be an issue in a hard copy of the book, but I struggles with the big affirmations being written across two pages. Overall, I enjoyed the content, but if I recommended it I’d likely recommend a hard copy version.
This is so painfully true… it highlights how many people think of themselves and removes the blanket of toxic positivity that can sometimes be found in inspirational quotes. It’s a funny yet revealing look into society as a whole.
Full of snarky wit and playful levity, this book pokes fun at a world increasingly consumed by social media, where influencers will go to inscrutable lengths to manufacture the perfect post.
This is such a great idea! It’s a hilarious and fun read that gives validation to the reality of life. The affirmations are spot on and the photos are beautiful. It’s also a great exercise to unleash those negative self thoughts and talk.
Disappointing Affirmations by Dave Tarnowski did not disappoint (haha).
It’s witty, funny, honest and introspective.
Like the book description says “IT REALLY IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY: People say, “It’s okay to not be okay,” but then it feels like they need you to be okay. This subversively funny book is the perfect way to remind ourselves, or anyone who needs it, that it’s better to deal with our feelings honestly than fall into the “positive vibes only” self-help trap.”
As someone who deals with mental health issues, positive affirmations can be tiring and honestly annoying. Sometimes I want the real grit and honest truth to push me. These affirmations do but in a humorous and comforting way.
Quick easy read. Recommend buying/getting it to have on hand when you just need to push.
Being a fan of this author from his Instagram account, I was so excited to see his DISAPPOINTING AFFIRMATIONS as a book! A book that will make you laugh at loud and at the same time not feel so alone when it comes to negative thoughts one may have about themselves and life. I love and admire how the author can take mental health and put a spin on it while shining light on a dark subject. Everyone needs a break once in a while from their stress, life, expectations, pressures, and this book will do just the trick. Looking forward to getting my own hard copy and others to give as great gifts!
Much gratitude to Chronicle Books and NetGalley for the arc in exchange for my honest review.
For me, reading is a multi-dimensional pursuit. Books can about learning, or fantasy, or immersion, or transportation.
Sometimes, though, books are about laughing. I had no idea that Dave Tarnowski, the author of Disappointing Affirmations had a famous instagram account of the same title.
These affirmations were, as I wrote in the title of this review, hilarious, bleak, a little lonely, and realistically informative at the same time.
The one thing I didn’t think they were, was disappointing. So, in a weird way, Tarnowski let himself down with such a disappointing title to such a hilarious book.
Some stories are complicated. Others can be emotional or real or fantastical, or all of the above.
This book was an effortless jolt of self-help that was turned on his head. I personally have gotten quite a lot from mindfulness and meditation and positivity. However, this was a hilarious take on quote-unquote toxic positivity, where everyone is expected to smile through their problems.
It is a fun book and I hope you give it a read when it is published in a few months in March.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of "Disappointing Affirmations" by Dave Tarnowski. I love anything that is snarky, funny, and makes fun of the daily hell that is life. I really appreciated Dave's take on things and would love to purchase a hardcover copy of this for my coffee table when it comes out. Thanks for keeping it real!
I was expecting this to be solely funny, but the introduction got to me. I appreciate the authors honesty and vulnerability to talk about their mental health. I can see how sharing these thoughts are not to promote “toxic positivity” but to show others the thoughts we have in our head during dark or not as “happy” times is something more can relate to than you would initially guess. The acknowledgments page thanking you and for still being here - felt this to my core; I am also thankful for you still being here. A few of my favorite quotes from this book are:
“You’re doing the best you can. Which is pretty sad.”
“The only person you can truly rely on is you. What a fucking nightmare.”
“Stop romanticizing the past. You’ve always been miserable.”
“Don’t let anyone tell you what you can’t do. That’s what you have insecurities for.”
I received this as an advanced reader copy from net galley for an honest review.
Reading challenge category - Popsugar 2024: published in a year ending in '24
Thanks to #NetGalley for the ARC ebook.
This was cute and funny and says all of the things that a lot of us think to ourselves or jokingly send memes to our friends. I think a better title would have been "Sarcastic Affirmations" or "Comical Refutations," as I didn't really get the 'disappointment' in them. Maybe it's my dark sense of humor.
I took half an hour and leafed through this book and: some of them hit, were funny, made me realise I was not alone into my feelings, and echoed that one voice in my head.
Paired with some beautiful photos, as well as being simple and hitting right on target.
I follow the Instagram page, and I was curious about the book. Happy to say that the format doesn't divert from the page, which keeps things uniform.
Thank you for the opportunity to review- ARC through Netgalley. All opinions are my own.
If you love dark humor and pretty photographs, this book is for you. It’s hilarious and speaks to my xennial adhd soul. It’s great to see one of my favorite instagrams come to life so I will be buying a copy for every single person I know.
This is incredibly funny and incredibly true. I'm not sure which one is my favorite but I'm pretty sure I should be discussing my feelings about most of them with my therapist.
This was just a delightful read and I'm hoping to get a copy or two (one to treasure forever; one to hang up around the house)
As someone with persistent mental health issues (mainly MDD and C-PTSD), I get awfully tired of hearing that I should have a positive mindset if I want to get better. Positive affirmations can be great, but they can also be incredibly dismissive when overused or over relied on. Disappointing affirmations, on the other hand, are just blunt enough to be funny without triggering the negative belief that they're true. Reading these helped me feel less alone and less unique in my experiences of depression and anxiety. I felt seen, which is rare these days. My only criticism would be the font color... some photos made the white difficult to see.
I enjoyed this so much that I am now following the author on Instagram for more. If the title didn’t give it away, this book is filled with funny non-positivity. I laughed as I read it (it’s a very quick read) and even though it’s not overly positive, it gave me a positive outlook because I felt like I was seen… And maybe I could do something with my life, but after a nap and a wasted day lol...
I’ll be picking up a copy of this for myself when it’s published and may give it to a few friends.
*Provided a DRC (digital review copy) from the publisher for review. All opinions are my own.