What Do We Tell the Children could reasonably be titled What NOT to Tell the Children, namely, how to grieve. Joseph Primo has allowed the children he works with to teach him the most important lesson anyone of us can learn, which is that grief is part of a healthy, human, emotional repertoire. Provided with gentle, respectful, and loving support, even young children who have been exposed to great tragedy can emerge with a greater capacity for empathy and compassion. The stories Primo retells from his own work are compelling and filled with many teachable moments about life and death. The book is encouraging for parents and others fearful of "doing it wrong" or (scarier still!) "having already done it wrong!" A must read for anyone caring for the grieving.
-- Kate Braestrup, New York Times Best-Selling Author of Here If You Need Me

Joe Primo has written an impassioned plea for long-overdue changes in our attitudes toward death. In reading this book, you will not only gain valuable ideas about how to talk with children about death, you will likely learn a great deal about yourself. In his wise, funny, poignant, winsome and inimitable way, Joe Primo tells stories that will help you examine your own thoughts and feelings about death and dying. You might discover ways in which you inadvertently create unnecessary obstacles for children who are seeking to process the impact of the death of a parent or sibling, a grandparent or other loved one. In the end, this is a book about the power of love, and about overcoming our own anxiety so that we can offer grieving children our compassionate presence and steady support as they create meaning in their own way and at their own pace.
--Deborah van Deusen Hunsinger, Charlotte W. Newcombe Professor of Pastoral Theology, Princeton Theological Seminary

Joseph Primo has given us a great gift. What Do We Tell the Children: Talking to Kids about Death and Dying is a wonderfully sensitive book -full of illustrative stories and gentle wisdom. Parents, teachers, and counselors will find it a necessary guide in engaging children in meaningful and needed discussions about death and loss.

- Kenneth J Doka, PhD, Professor, The College of New Rochelle, Senior Consultant, The Hospice Foundation of America

Joseph Primo’s book, What Do We Tell the Children, has opened up a new conversation about grief and the way children deal with loss. Having worked in an Army hospital in Iraq, I’ve experienced firsthand the difficulties of dealing with death—before, and after the war. It’s never easy, even for those who’ve dealt with it on a daily basis. What Do We Tell the Children should be given to every military household who has lost someone.
--Michael Anthony, Iraq War veteran and author of: Mass Casualties: A Young Medic’s True Story of Death, Deception, and Dishonor in Iraq

Joe Primo’s What Do We Tell the Children? could have been also titled What Do We Tell the Grown-ups? He has written a book for a wide audience; but I read it first and foremost as a professional, a practicing physician, and a teacher working in hospice and palliative care. I believe that Primo provides a solid introduction for medical students and residents as they move into the responsibilities of supporting entire families, not just children, not just adults. Readers of all ages should take seriously his advice to start with close scrutiny of our own experiences of grief. Then we can sense when we are ready to proceed beyond the first steps of support and when we should refer the children to others.

I recommend What Do We Tell the Children? to those in all walks of life charged with the tough and tender task of supporting children in their grief. This will promote our work together for the children.
--Scott Long, MD, PhD, Professor at Yale University School of Medicine and Physician at The Connecticut Hospice