Actual rating 4.5 stars.

<i>Zan sounded like Bastian felt on the heels of a panic attack. Scared and anxious, like he couldn’t catch a breath.</i>

Bastian is lost since his mom died in a car incident. The car incident HE caused. His identical twin brother, Dorian, escaped physically unscathed, but Bastian still experiences the consequences, and his guild works overtime. Zan is lost, too. 499 years ago, he saved his mom by giving his soul to the Ferryman. Just one more year until he’s free. Until then he has to guide people who are stuck between life and death so the Ferryman can eat their souls. People like Bastian, who meets Zan in his dreams.

Michelle Kulwicki delivered a beautiful and honest take on grief and healing through love. I wanted to hug Bastian and Zan so many times. The sadness from both boys penetrated the pages from the first sentences, but I also felt Dorian's powerlessness in my bones, the ever-outstretched hand to grieve together instead of alone. The twin, who is not in the blurb but is such an essential part of Bastian's story. I also loved, loved the side characters, Riley jumped off the page, and Mathais was such a sweet jock. And when I was done hugging Bastian and Zan virtually, I wrapped my arms around Dorian for a long, long time.

Don't worry if you're not much of a fantasy reader. At the End of the River Styx is, far and foremost, a contemporary novel, vividly written and so easy to read. Be prepared for lumps in your throat and watery eyes, though. This story is a sad one, but in the end imbued with hope.

I ended the story with a smile on my face, but when I read the acknowledgments, tears crept up behind my eyes again because of that last sentence. A sentence with probably a world behind it and probably the reason you wrote this book, Michelle.

I didn’t expect to feel so many emotions when I started reading At the End of the River Styx. Michelle Kulwicki has crafted a magical—and more importantly for me—honest story about grief, love, and healing that left me with tears in my eyes. In a good way. That is where the honest part of my previous statement comes from and I truly respect Kulwicki and her story for it. At the End of the River Styx is a wonderful debut by Michelle Kulwicki and I really recommend it to anyone who wants a story that will both catch them by surprise and exceed their expectations.

This is a solid 4.5 stars, but rounding up. Thank you to NetGalley, Page Street Publishing and Page Street YA for the ARC!

This was, first and foremost, a story about grief. In modern-day Portland, Bastian is grieving the loss of his mother and processing the trauma of a car accident that should have killed him, too. Zan is bound to the Ferryman for 500 years of servitude and must deliver Bastian's soul to him. Overall, the book was emotionally difficult - it was tough to watch Bastian's depressive cycle and there were some scenes that just emotionally wrecked me.

The use of mythology and the world building was so unique (I mean, the love story takes place in frozen, stolen memories of the dead - will never be over that); Bastian and Zan were loveable as they learned to fall back in love with living together; and while the focus of the story was definitely on Bastian's journey with grief, the secondary characters felt like they belonged in the story, not just to support Bastian or the plot. Overall, this story will stick with me for a long time.

The ending gutted me - I am desperate for more and I know that that's the intention. I will say that while this book is emotionally devastating at times, Kulwicki pulled her punches and deliver a nuanced ending to the story that felt right. (That's not to say that it didn't wreck me.)

“Zan didn’t listen because he had his own rule on Styx. Don’t give up.” 🖤

At the End of the River Styx tells the story of two boys, Zan, who made a deal to serve the Ferryman for 500 years to save his mother’s life, and Bastian, who blames himself for the death of his mother.

As soon as I saw the cover art and description of this book, I knew it was one that I’d fall hard for. The portrayal of grief and healing felt raw and authentic. The world building… Zan’s office, memories frozen in time… was original and a place I wanted to lose myself in. This book, this author, these characters officially have my heart and a permanent place on my bookshelf.