Happy Bloody Christmas

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Pub Date Sep 26 2024 | Archive Date Oct 14 2024

Description

This is an uncorrected proof copy. There may be some spelling or grammar mistakes that will not be in the final version.

'An outrageously funny, festive romp which is as utterly wonderful as it is (Christmas) crackers!' MIKE GAYLE

Anna's Christmas Eve To Do List:

1. Wrap the kids' presents​

2. Peel the potatoes ​

3. Get rid of the dead body?!

Hungover and exhausted after her family's annual party, all Anna Johnson wants for Christmas is to finish her to-do list and finally sit down with the world’s biggest glass of wine.

But when she stumbles across a dead body in her larder, her plans are well and truly buggered.

A mysterious death in her home really is the last thing she needs, but with her judgemental in-laws arriving in less than twenty-four hours, turning her house into a crime scene is not an option. If she’s going to save Christmas, it’s up to Anna to find out what the hell’s gone on. Oh – and figure out what to do with the body before one of the kids finds it.

And you thought burning the turkey was the worst that could happen…

–––––––––-

'A brilliantly written, hilarious whodunnit. Smart and very, very funny.' IAN MOORE

‘So funny, I’m annoyed I didn’t write it!' GILL SIMS

The perfect present for the friend who would help you hide a body!' CHRISSIE MANBY

‘Hilarious, festive and relatable. A total Christmas cracker!’ FIONA LEITCH

'So good, you should sack off Christmas dinner and read this instead!' HARPER FORD

'A compulsive Christmas cake binge of a read – terrific!' J.M. HALL

'Laugh a minute? More like laugh a second!' HANNAH HENDY

'Hilarious with dollops of fun and a brilliant whodunnit!' JONATHAN WHITELAW

'A five-star triumph!' ROSIE HANNIGAN

'Chock-full of proper jokes!' ABIGAIL BURDESS

This is an uncorrected proof copy. There may be some spelling or grammar mistakes that will not be in the final version.

'An outrageously funny, festive romp which is as utterly wonderful as...


Available Editions

EDITION Ebook
ISBN 9780008711115
PRICE £0.99 (GBP)
PAGES 384

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Average rating from 99 members


Featured Reviews

This book, my gawd, this book is bloody brilliant!!!
I have never laughed as much while reading a book!
I've been through it all with this one from snorting sniggers while on the bus (apologies to the couple on the seat in front of me, who obviously thought I was laughing at them discussing their medical issues) to chuckling in the dark of night in bed (the dogs gave me a look which clearly said; me mam's bonkers, and walked off in disgust) to full blow belly laughs - this book is an absolute bloody corker (I am definitely going to buy a physical copy just to have it on the keeper shelf!)
Any woman can relate to every aspect of this (maybe minus the dead Father Christmas in the pantry, but each to their own!) Anna is every woman, she wants a normal Christmas, but everything that can go wrong does (always the case right?) The hangover from hell, kiddos don't give a chuff and best not be disturbed, husband still snoring, how dare he! The house looks like it's been through the apocalypse; where did all the mess come from....oh, yes she remembers! Inlaws on route for Christmas dinner...don't mention dinner, they'll be lucky to get a packet of crisps and oh yes nearly forgot; a dead Father Christmas in the pantry! Perfect!!
There is a single thing I didn't like about this, I flew through it within days (for me, that is astounding as I am the slowest reader). murder mysteries aren't always my go-to genre, but I was completely drawn into the blurb, I loved the sound of it and was so pleased I read it and will definitely read more from the author!!
The writing is so honest and incredibly funny, there is wit and good-natured humour on every page, Anna is a brilliant character, a real woman who has the world on her shoulders, a to-do list that never ends and a chaotic family and fabulous always there for her friends (good job too, there is a murder to solve!). I was completely hooked from the first page, I had no idea who the murderer was the writing is so crisp and clever that you're pondering and trying to figure it all out right up to the big reveal. I loved it, and will happily read it again and again!

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I have read so many books that I laugh aloud or sniggered to myself. Never have I read a book that has appealed to my sense of humour like this book did. Happy Bloody Christmas has had me in fits of laughter, I mean tears streaming down my face, jaw achingly laughter. What I must have looked like sat in my car on the school run, tears running and wildly laughing to myself. The woman in the car next to me must have thought I was having some midlife crisis or breakdown!
As a woman in her mid-40s, this book was so relatable that it was like reading parts of my own life - minus the murder mystery bits, of course! I loved the plot, the pace of it, how I felt like I was a part of the team trying to solve the mystery. All the characters were fab, especially the best friend duo of Anna and Jennie. I haven't got a single thing I didn't like apart from it had to end. Bloody brilliant!!
I recommend this to anyone who wants to read a great festive murder mystery. I think it would appeal to anyone who's in their fabulous 40s. I found it hilariously good fun.

All Anna wants is the perfect Christmas day. After waking up christmas eve hungover and finding a dead body in her larder, things aren't looking good. With her in-laws' arrival for Christmas dinner the next day, what is she to do?

Thank you to Avon Books UK for my advanced copy.
My opinions are my own

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The writing was light, frank and very funny. It had me smiling and laughing out loud throughout which is very rare. I found it all very relatable, with the character going off on amusing tangents every so often and text messages being added in to bring it up to date. I was gripped from the beginning right through to the end. I wasn't completely sure who the murderer was until it was revealed at the end.

The chapters were quite long so you got a good chunk of the story before moving on. I did get very engrossed in what was happening and I didn't want the story to end.

There was a good pace to the story. Even though there were a few different suspects to go through and lots of different things to consider, I never got bored. There was quite a lot of chatter and thought processes from the main character, which were very amusing and entertaining to read. I never felt bogged down and managed to keep up with everything that was going on. There was a good flow to the story so everything ran smoothly together and made for an enjoyable read.

The characters were excellent. I loved the main character. She was amusing, relatable and a joy to read. I also enjoyed reading about the rest of the family and the way that her husband was always there to support her. There were also some interesting dislikeable characters which added an extra layer to the story.

Lastly the settings. They were only vaguely described as it was more a character focused story. Any setting that was integral to the story was given a bit more attention.

Overall a very funny Christmas murder mystery that I highly recommend.

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Full of cosy festive vibes and humour. Jo’s writing is engaging and quirky in the very best way. A must read for Christmas 2024.

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An absolute riotous Christmas cracker. Very funny, hugely enjoayble and (aside from the dead body in the larder) very relateable.

Highly recommend.

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If you’re looking for the perfect holiday read that combines humour, chaos, and a pinch of mystery, look no further than "Happy Bloody Christmas" by Jo Middleton. I completely devoured this book, and let me tell you, it was one of the most enjoyable and hilarious experiences I’ve had this festive season!
From the get-go, I was a fan of Anna Johnson’s whirlwind life. Anna’s struggles only escalate when a mysterious death disrupts her already hectic holiday plans. Finding a dead Santa in her larder is the last thing she needs, especially with her disapproving in-laws on the way. The sheer absurdity of the situation had me laughing out loud—Anna’s witty internal monologue and her frantic attempts to juggle sleuthing with holiday preparations had me invested and rooting for her from page one.
The absurdity escalates as Anna begins her investigation into the death of her less-than-beloved boss, Colin. With the police's lacklustre response to the investigation, Anna, her husband Oli, their tech-savvy son Ben, and her charmingly quirky friend Jennie dive into the mystery themselves. I loved how their investigation intertwined seamlessly with holiday chores.
Middleton crafts a wonderfully relatable and humorous narrative. I found myself frequently cracking up at Anna’s thoughts on the absurdities of motherhood and holiday stress, especially in her interactions with the never-ending stream of family obligations. Plus, the characters are delightful and full of personality. Jennie’s “murder board” idea mixed with Pokémon characters had me grinning, and I couldn’t help but admire Anna’s determination to keep her home running smoothly, even as everything spiralled into chaos.
Middleton's sharp wit and snarky observations bring a fresh twist to the cosy mystery genre, making this story more than just a simple whodunit. I felt like I was experiencing the ups and downs of holiday madness right alongside Anna. And just when I thought I had it all figured out, there were twists and turns that kept me guessing until the end.
The cherry on top comes with the clever epilogue that hints at more sleuthing to come, which left me eagerly wanting a sequel. Anna’s adventures, while chaotic, resonate with anyone who’s ever survived the holiday season with a sense of humour intact.
In short, "Happy Bloody Christmas" is an absolute joy to read, a perfect blend of humour, heart, and a little holiday sleuthing. Grab a glass of your favourite drink, cosy up, and prepare for a delightful escape into Anna's world—it’s the kind of festive distraction we all need!

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Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Such a fun, festive read. You wouldn’t really think of a whodunnit being a good seasonal subject, but this author has nailed it.
Great plot, well written characters, just enough quirks throughout to be funny rather than eccentric.
Highly recommend!

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I absolutely loved it such a fun Christmas read I read it in one sitting,
I laughed, I cried, the character were amazing!
The characters were so well written it was a great read

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It's Christmas Eve and Anna Johnson has a whole list of tasks and chores to get through before her in laws descend on her for Christmas Day. She is battling a hangover from her annual Christmas house party the night before, and trying to work out how she can involve her husband and two kids in the preparations to help. There are several tasks the children can help with, but one of them is definitely NOT the removal of the dead body dressed as Father Christmas in the larder. Anna wants Christmas to be perfect, and also to find out who on earth could have killed Santa, with one of Annas best kitchen knives, when, and why.
An entertaining read, this was a fun whodunnit with some laugh out loud moments. I loved it and would thoroughly recommend it.

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Thank you to NetGalley and Avon Books UK for this ARC.

Anna has thrown a pre-Christmas party which probably wasn't her best idea ever, because she wakes up with a stonking hangover and has only a day to prepare for husband Oli's parents to arrive to a sumptuous meal she hasn't begun to prepare yet. The presents haven't been wrapped, the tablescape isn't done yet and there, between the spelt flour and the Pop Tarts, is a dead Santa in her larder. Sorry, rewind, there is what?

It is so inconvenient when you have a Christmas to-do list as long as your arm and now have to add "solve Santa's murder", "buy a replacement Sabatier knife" and "remove bloodstains in grouting with toothpaste" onto your list!

Enraged by the police's general disinterest and bumbling incompetence when securing the crime scene, Anna and Oli begin to sleuthe themselves, supported by teenage son Ben and delighted BFF Jennie who, wine glass in hand, immediately starts creating a "murder board" like in Death in Paradise, but with Pokémon characters instead of photos of the suspects.

The dead man is Anna's boss Colin, and due to him being an awful human being, it seems there are as many motives to kill him as there were guests. Luckily, Ben is a tech whizz and accesses the Ring doorbell app and the cat tracker like a pro. But that is only the beginning.

Here we have a murder mystery in a strong domestic setting with Christmas preparations - people incorporate the sleuthing into housework like discussing theories while putting on a load of washing or unloading the dishwasher. It's very relatable - of course we want to find the murderer but there is still the downstairs loo to clean and the potatoes to be prepped!

The snarky and hilarious story is told brilliantly - characters are frequently more concerned about the Sabatier knife than the knifed or what the disapproving mother -in-law will say to all this.

This is incredibly entertaining, with a fun cast of characters and a funny cover. I read it in one go and frequently laughed myself silly, especially about the keen observations of an overworked wife and mother at Christmas who needs to find ways that all this isn't noticed by the precocious 7 year old daughter, which makes this more than just a light-hearted whodunnit.

The epilogue sends strong "there'll be a sleuthing sequel" vibes and I'm all here for it. But first, another bottle of crémant, please, as the mother-in-law has just uttered a rare compliment about the gravy!

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So Hugely Enjoyable!…
What a blast this is. Meet Anna, her family and friends. It’s Christmastime and Anna has thrown a party. Waking with a hangover on Christmas Eve, together with the party aftermath strewn throughout the house, may not be the best start to the day - but, it’s about to get much, much worse. With a very dead Santa in her precious larder, how on earth is Anna going to cope? As she draws upon her inner Poirot, Anna may well just find some answers. Hugely entertaining and thoroughly enjoyable lighthearted whodunnit with a keenly observed and credible cast of characters. Escapism at its finest.

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I really identify with the main character - not the murder bit but the debilitating hangover and Christmas panics. Read this in the hottest day of the year but it still made me shiver with the thought it Christmas and that work we have to do. But the story of a dead Santa made me roll over laughing. Brilliant book!

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A drunken house party on December 23rd isn't the best idea, especially when your in-laws are coming for Christmas. You've got a nuclear hangover, the house looks like a war zone, and then there's the small matter of a dead body in the larder. Dressed as Santa. And with one of your best knives sticking out of his chest...

This really is what Anna doesn't need, especially when the officers sent out are more concerned with getting back to the station for the Christmas knees-up than preserving the crime scene.

So it's down to Anna, aided and abetted by husband Oli, son Ben (but emphatically not seven year old daughter Lily) and best friend Jennie to get this solved before her in-laws arrive.

Brilliant

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A very funny mystery with an appealing amateur detective. Set at Christmas time. A woman finds a party guest dressed as Father Christmas stabbed to death in her larder. Overcoming numerous obstacles (including her mother-in-law) she solves the murder in time for a festive family Christmas. This could easily become a series

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I shouldn't like this book. It's not credible, it's annoying, and most of the characters are scatterbrained .... but I LOVED it.

It's funny, lighthearted, well, as lighthearted as you can get with a body in your pantry. With in the in-laws due the next day, not only has she a murder to solve, but she needs to ready herself for Christmas.

It was a really fun read that would be perfect to read over the Christmas season

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