The Spring before Obergefell

Mike is a middle-aged gay man living in a small town in the Midwest. And just with that small bit of information, I had a connection to this story.

He’s spent his life avoiding relationships and just existed on hookups. But he’s realizing that there’s more to life that he wants. He wants someone to spend the rest of his life with. But that’s not easy to find, especially in a small town.

To make matters more interesting, Mike’s father lives with him. The two kinda mix like oil and water at times, but having each other is a good thing.

I really loved following Mike on his journey to find love, and the struggles when he found resistance from the man that has caught his eye.

As I enter my middle-age years, I find so many aspects of this book relatable. It was a wonderful read, that gives me hope for my own future relationships.

This is definitely one you should read.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher/author for this copy of the book.

I really enjoyed the realness of the characters in this book, both the main character and his father who are living in a small town outside of Dayton, Ohio. The main character is a gay man who is beginning to regret his lack of a long-term relationship, who is lonely, and who is also dealing with his elderly, grieving, Fox News loving father who lives with him. It is really a story about change, and the courage it takes to change yourself to find a better, happier way of living. It is also a bit of a romance but in a realistic way. I would recommend this book.

Getting real with oneself, getting real in the Midwest, getting real with family and with romance, especially later in life. Tough conversations happen in this story, and if they strike a reader as impossible, maybe they can serve as portals of possibility.

Special thanks to Netgalley and University of Nebraska Press for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

*I did end up DNFing this book

I really could not get into this book, something about the writing style led to a lot of disconnect for me. I would like to try it again in the future, and will update this review if things change.

This was beautiful. Short, engrossing and super engaging. Every now and then a book comes along that tugs at your heart strings. I dont cry for books often, but i did here. 4.5 stars

THANK YOU NETGALLEY

Something special, which deserves much more attention than it's gotten so far.

Mike Breck, the narrator and protagonist, is a 50-year-old gay man living in small-town Ohio. He cobbles together a scant living out of handyman work, a part-time job at Lowe's, and an adjunct gig at the local community college. His elderly, ill-tempered Republican father has lived with him since Mike's mother died. He's had plenty of hookups and he spends plenty of time chatting with variously located men on apps, but he's never had a long-term relationship; he's not sure he wants one and anyway he's pretty sure he's incapable of such a thing. Fortunately, he meets two men, Matteo and Dave, and his relationships with them quietly dynamite his assumptions; meanwhile, his father's new absolutely-not-girlfriend, Beth, is busy blowing up his dad's.

The Spring Before Obergefell is a love story, and it does end happily, so I'm happy to call it a romance, and I will insist that that's a compliment. Mike's romance becomes possible because -- well, it's not that he panics, exactly, but his awareness of how he's allowed his emotional life to close down reaches critical mass. This is partly thanks to Matteo, who can be breathtakingly acerbic in his judgments and isn't, I think, always correct in them -- but he forces Mike to ask himself essential questions, and he requires an honesty and vulnerability that Mike hasn't allowed himself in a long time, or maybe ever. And it's partly because of Dave.

Dave feels right to Mike almost from their first meeting. This doesn't make anything easy, as we discover when Mike pours out his sense of hope and possibility to Dave. I was sorely, sorely tempted to check the ending, so I could brace myself in case things went as badly as I feared. Don't let yourself be tempted: let Mike's fear, struggle, hope carry you along.

As usual, I didn't need or particularly want the epilogue, but its last paragraphs are beautiful so all is forgiven. Please read this unusual and moving book.

Thanks to the U of Nebraska Press and NetGalley.

This book deserves much more attention and praise than it has received thus far. I think the exploration of a queer story from a middle-aged protagonist is such an intriguing point of view that we don't get nearly enough of. The story had me wondering what stories we never had the chance to read since so many people the age of the protagonist were lost to the AIDS epidemic. Please take a chance to explore this novel if the premise intrigues you, it is worth the time.

Thank you to the author, the publisher, and Netgalley for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

It’s strange how a book like this—small-town rural Ohio circa 2015—can feel like an artifact of the past and yet an ongoing present. Mike is middle-aged, gay, single, and lost, with no cultural script for how someone like him can find connection and happiness. He believes the best he can hope for is hookup apps and casual flings, until he meets the capricious Matteo and the enigmatic Dave, who each challenge him in different ways.

What stood out to me is that, just like Mike without a script, this book has no formula. It’s not a romance that would fit in that genre; it’s not quite litfic of a midlife crisis either. It feels like it’s mapping new terrain, page by page, stuck when Mike is stuck, forging new paths as Mike forges them, unpredictable the way real life is. It could have gone any number of ways right up until the end, which makes the outcome all the more poignant. As another review on Goodreads says, it opens up portals of possibility, with a tough conversations along the way. I like that. I like the idea that those portals are there to find. New scripts to be written, new paths to forge, new maps to make. With a bit of guts, with a bit of love, with a bit of honesty and vulnerability. May we all be so brave.

Real rating: 4.5* of five

I so relate to Matteo, Mike's first RL shot at Love. Catalyzes something good and big; doesn't get to participate, too acerbic and just Too Much.

It's a curse, unless of course it's not. It felt very very good to read Dave and Mike's borning relationship.

A story set ten years ago about the challenges of forming relationships as gay men in homophobic Murrika. There has never been a moment where this subject, treated with hope, has been more welcome. We're now looking into the maw of Project 2025. *horripilation*

Nothing in this book leads me to believe the author was predicting the future as he wrote it. It's still a welcome moment of hope in a bleak landscape. Part of keeping hope alive is to feed it. <I>The Spring Before Obergefell</I> offers readers, gay men in particular, and older gay men for sure, a story that deals with the reality of family in this new age of darkness. There is always hope. It feels like there is not sometimes. Mike and his world...well...hope is what he found. That message trumps all the noise and chaos of the world.