The Mother Code

In this propulsive memoir, an award-winning journalist blends history, science, and cultural criticism, to uncover whether motherhood outside of society's rigid rules and expectations is possible—and whether she fits the mold for what a mother should be.

For so long, Ruthie Ackerman believed that the decision to not have children was a radical act. After all, she'd grown up being told that she came from a long line of women who had abandoned their kids. Plus, Ruthie feared she would pass on her half-brother’s rare genetic disorder. Haunted by this generational inheritance, she goes searching in the twists and turns of her DNA to decide once and for all whether she should become a mother. When a geneticist leaves her at a dead end, she chooses to marry a man who doesn’t want children — only to realize that, despite everything, she desperately does. When Ruthie’s strained marriage ends, her quest for a new vision of motherhood begins. 

By the time Ruthie meets the right partner and is ready to have the baby she so desperately desires, she learns she can't use her own eggs. As she navigates the scientific, philosophical, and intimate questions about what it means to both create, and nurture, a life, she discovers she's also after a bigger question: is there a vision of motherhood which allows for the role to be seen not only as fulfilling, but also as powerful? A mother code that goes beyond children and that focuses on working towards stronger communities and happier, less-stressed parents? 

Synthesizing reportage and memoir, The Mother Code unravels how we’ve come to understand the institution of motherhood. What emerges is a groundbreaking new vision for what it means to mother: a mother code that goes beyond our bloodlines and genetics and instead, urges us to embrace inheritance as the legacy we want to leave behind for those we love.