This Is Where It Ends

To put it bluntly: this book broke me several times in several thousand pieces.

But, and now with more eloquence, I wouldn't expect this book to do anything else, not when talking about something as serious and terrible as a school shooting.

I think one very important criterion when judging a book is if it moves you somehow, if it makes you feel something, if it pangs at your emotions and changes you. And I don't think I have read a book that did all of that and at such a degree in a very big while.

Marieke does an amazing job at portraying such a theme, while at the same time conveying so much more than that through all the bits and pieces that shine through the characters. Because they're all people, with their fears and hopes, with their secrets and biased perspectives.

Even the shooter. No spoilers, but they're still a person, a sibling, a child, a friend. Someone who's done terrible things, of course, there's no denying that. But a nuanced person nevertheless, with their own distorted reasons, and not "crazy" like the media likes to portray perpetrators of these horrendous crimes. As terrifying as that is, they're just one of us, with flaws, wishes, and fears, but a terrorist nevertheless. We can see these nuances, while at the same time never, ever condoning their acts. We can peek through the veil, try and guess at the “reasons” behind all this, but these things, unfortunately, just happen.

And Marieke does an amazing job of showing us the fear, the guilt, the panic, the urgency that everyone is feeling, that seeps through the pages and infects the reader. The book is a ball of tension and suspense that keeps getting bigger and bigger, a knot in your stomach, and you fear for these characters as if they are your friends, as if you’re there with them. You can’t stop reading (I read it in two sittings, well through the night), because you have to know what is going to happen, even if you suspect things will only get worse.

It’s a harrowing story, but also honest, raw and important, and so beautifully written despite all that. And even though this is about tragedy, there’s a glimmer of hope. It’s not glamorized, it’s not all rainbows at the end, because why should it be? Something horrible happened, and it’s not something that should be turned into a heartwarming and inspirational message. There will be many tomorrows, as they say in the book, but it’s not something that should be forgotten so easily. And the author does this very well, in my humble opinion. I won’t forget this book and its characters any time soon.

And it was such a diverse, well-developed ensemble. You can see what is happening from four different perspectives, and you bond with them so easily that at 10:05, when thefirst shots are heard, you already fear for them, and it doesn’t stop until the end. I liked the different details these perspectives brought to the narrative, and I had no problems with the hops between them.

I feel like these are just some disparate thoughts about the book and that this review should make more sense. But that’s how this book left me, and I completely blame Marieke. I’m afraid to see what she’ll write next, and yet I’m really, really looking forward to it.

THIS IS WHERE IT ENDS is a dark, gut-wrenching, raw, brilliantly told story, and yet human in so, so many ways. What happened it’s not okay, and it will never be, and there’s no good explanation for why these things happen. But we are here, and we will remember the lost.

I've never read anything like this before. A haunting and powerful debut filled with gripping emotion, suspense, well-developed characters and a truly diverse ensemble.

Told over the span of 54 minutes, This Is Where It Ends shows how one angry individual can shake the lives of an entire community. I think this author does more than just use a school shooting for shock value. She brings the population of Opportunity High School to life.

A lot of new characters are thrown at you at once. I had to write their names down to keep them straight in my head early on. It didn't take too long to differentiate between the POVs though. Marieke Nijkamp gives them each distinct voices, fears, hopes and dreams. I felt like these were kids I went to high school with.

Her writing is compelling on its own but I also applaud the diversity in race, sexuality and disabilities among the students.

Was I devastated and thought some deaths were pointless? HELL YES. But in reality, death of this kind is always pointless and the author didn't shy away from the awful truth. I wish we knew more about the aftermath of this tragedy as well. However, if my only issues were it was TOO REAL and I wanted more, I think we've got a winner over here. I can't wait for everyone else to read this when it's released January 2016!

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley!

Marketed as a Young Adult book This Is Where It Ends is a powerful debut from Marieke Nijkamp. Set in a high school in the town of Opportunity, Albama, the graduating class are all thinking about where life will take when school ends. Whether that might be at Brown University, or Julliard or even just working in the family business. Going about their school day it soon becomes apparent that everything is not okay and that life is going to change must faster than they were expecting.

The book is fast paced and set in specific post event blocks of time with different characters relaying what they see happening and filling in background on the relationships between the main people in the book. The style is interesting and just makes you want to keep on reading. The grisly tale that unfolds in the high school is very believable and the reactions of the seniors involved feels very real.

It is quite a harrowing account and doesn't pull any punches when it comes to gritty realism. The saddest part is the bright and enthusiastic teens realising that their hopes and dreams might never be fulfilled as a result of the actions of the gunman. I found it terribly moving and it feels much shorter than its 292 pages - partly due to its punchy style and the use of twitter type messaging to give it added realism.

Thoroughly recommend this book. It is one of the most thought provoking books I've read in a long time and I look forward to further books by this talented new author.

I admit I’m a bit of a machinist when it comes to books like these. They make me uncomfortable, they make me emotional, and they make me angry. This It Where It Ends, was phenomenal. This story not only broke my heart but hit my emotions and immediately griped my attention. Taking place over the course of 54 minutes, the story is told from four alternating POVs. Claire, Tomás, Sylv, and Autumn, are four very different students attending Opportunity High School but they each have a connection to the shooter.

Tyler Browne, dropped out of Opportunity High the end of the previous school year and he finally decides to re-enroll. On the day he returns the whole school is gathered in auditorium for the principal’s yearly assembly. It’s also the day he decides to come back with a gun and a plan for revenge against those he feels have hurt him.

Autumn is Ty’s sister. They lost their mother in a car accident just the year before. Since then Autumn and Tyler have endured their father's drunken anger and abuse. They all tried to cope in different ways but none of them were healthy. Autumn blamed herself. The one thing that keeps her going and ties her to her mother’s memory is her love for dance. She loved it and but it was also her dream and her escape. To Ty he has no one left. That he’s losing everyone. Claire has broken up with him last fall. His sister wants to leave Opportunity and go to Julliard. He feels her girlfriend Sylv has corrupted her and take her away. Tomás only wants to protect his sister Sylv from Tyler’s fury.

This novel frighteningly honest and realistic. There were no excuses made for Tyler’s rage. Those that loved him still cared, even if they didn’t understand his reasons. I felt each characters pain and fear on a visceral level. There were moments where my heart just stopped and I silently cried at some scenes. No matter how many times I reminded myself this particular story was fiction, I knew that reality of school violence was not. I was scared for everyone in this story but I also admired strength and courage that each possessed.

Ms. Nijkamp wrote this story in a powerful but simple way. It didn’t have over the top theatrics, it was just raw and honest. From a LGBT heroine to multi-ethnic characters, I loved the diversity of the story. There is no perfect ending for this type story. As heartbreaking as this novel was, it also had a message of hope and courage. Yes this type of story is controversial but I feel it is something that should be read.