Moving, upsetting, and genuinely suspenseful. Andrew C. Branham documents his relationship with an unstable birth mother, whose promise to allow Branham and his partner to adopt her unborn child is called into question by her increasingly disordered behavior. It is a true horror story, in which the antagonist is a deeply damaged woman who faces an incredibly difficult choice. Branham tries not to lose sight of the magnitude of her sacrifice, even as he documents his frustration with her manipulation and dishonesty. For the most part, he succeeds.

Although Branham's situation serves as a cautionary tale for those who might find themselves in similar situations, one does question his decision to submit his book for publication so soon after the events described took place. Branham strives for a tone of balanced detachment, but it is clear that his wounds are still raw. At times, this makes for uncomfortably voyeuristic reading. There are good reasons for Branham's complicated feelings regarding Sandi, the expectant mother, but Sandi is clearly a complex and unusually damaged character. I was a bit uncomfortable with her villain edit, especially toward the end of the book. It is clear where Branham is coming from, and he is extremely sympathetic, but it is hard not to wonder how he will frame the situation when he is several years removed. For various reasons, I found myself wondering if he is sharing things now that he will regret later.

Additionally, there were times when Branham and his partner appeared to ignore major red flags in the interest of keeping the peace. Branham never really explores the way the desire to adopt Sandi's infant clouded his and his partner's response to Sandi's children's situation. The book would be stronger if Branham offered such an analysis; another reason why letting a little more time pass might have been helpful. There are certain topics Branham doesn't seem ready to probe yet, and understandably so.

A good book, and worth reading, but quite disturbing.

New to the struggles of any type of adoption process, this book grabbed me from the first page and was almost impossible to put down. The author Andrew ( I feel like we are friends after reading this intimate work, so I can call him by name) takes the reader on his and his partner DJ's highly emotional, stressful, at times unbelievable, journey to complete his family via open adoption. The family he was matched with seemed to be a mentally ill baby seller who used the adoption process as a means to support herself and feed her family. The things she put this dedicated couple through make this novel a true testament to just how much the author and his partner wanted a child. They did do "anything for Amelia", and at times while reading, I was angered, saddened, and heartbroken for them. This work is a necessity for anyone even considering this form of adoption, because it educated me to the business adoption has become in our country. I truly felt a connection to the author as a mother, and could feel his joy when the adoption was finally completed. A quick and eye-opening read that proves that it does indeed, take ALL kinds, good and bad, to make this world what it is.

Loved this!

Book review: 5 stars!!

I could really keep talking about this book for hours and hours. But I will not do that now because I won’t be able to stop from not spoil it for you.

At first, I will say that it was the only book until now that actually made me hold my tears - which by the way were the hardest thing that I had ever done. Because, if I would give in to them, then I would be totally screwed since I would be crying ALL THE TIME and I wouldn’t be able to finish it.

Secondly, this book, for me, was circling around three main emotional states. Tears. Anger. Empathy/ Sadness.

Sometimes, it was only one of these that dominated me, but more often it was the mix of the two or all of them. If I had to give this book just one characterization about the emotions in it, then I would definitely name it as the emotional version of the hurricane Katrina. Personally, I don’t think it can get any more accurate than that.

Also, the fact that it’s a true story and an autobiography since the author is one of the dads, it raises the intensity into a much higher level. I was extremely captivated from this story that was swinging from sad moments to happy moments to frustrating, infuriating and unbelievable moments in a blink of an eye.

The unique about this book was that, even though it was impossible for me to understand their situation and how it was affecting them since I hadn’t any similar experience, I was able to feel their pain, their frustration, their anger, their happiness and generally, whatever they were going through during this adoption case. There were many times that it was like I was in the story and I was going through the same emotions with Andrew and DJ.

My heart was bleeding for them and that unbelievable situation they had to gone through so they get to their reward: their daughter Amelia. And as I said above, trying to hold my tears off from starting rolling down my cheeks like waterfalls, it was one of the h a r d e s t things that I had ever had to do.

Concluding, I’d like say some words directly to these men that went through Hell so they could reach their Heaven and happy ending.

I was really touched by your story, Andrew and DJ, and while I was reading it, I was in awe of you for not exploding and trying to keep your cool because you knew what was waiting for you in the finish line: your Amelia. There were many times that I thought Jeez, how they are enduring all this without snapping? Your determination to get to the end of this adoption was remarkable and inspiring. What you went through with Sandi is something that no one has to endure. And still, you came out of it winners! The only thing that’s left to be said is a huge Congratulations and that your Amelia is really an angel and a beautiful baby girl!

This book really drives home to me how using an agency instead of an adoption facilitator can help shelter families from women who try to take advantage of prospective adoptive parents. Andrew and his partner DJ used an adoption facilitator who matched them with a birth mother (Sandi) but most of the work was done by themselves with calls to their attorney. They got paperwork signed, they set up meetings with their birth mother and her family and they didn't have anyone really looking out or protecting them from this demanding woman. In addition further along in the book you realize that their facilitator knew more about this woman than she told Andrew and DJ, there had already been an agency that had tried to put information out there about her manipulations and illegal actions with another family.

We can all look at Sandi with disdain for her manipulations and actions but this woman was smart and knew how to work the system. She was manipulative, she lied, and she blackmailed, she was abusive to her children, to her boyfriend, and to pretty much everyone around her yet she survived and usually got her way. I'm not saying she was a wonderful person but you have to give credit to her survival skills.

I think that there were many unrealistic expectations on the part of Andrew and DJ as well as Sandi on what to expect during the whole process and the facilitator didn't do enough to help them navigate this new relationship. Throughout this book I was struck that Andrew and DJ considered this child theirs before termination even happened. This is not a surrogate relationship, this was an adoption, and Sandi had rights, and the child she was carrying was hers until she signed her surrenders. The fact that Andrew and DJ were posting on facebook that they were going to have a boy or a girl was disrespectful to Sandi and manipulative in its own way. I understand that Andrew was worn down and angry with Sandi at the time he wrote this book but I feel the anger and disrespect he writes about her, his child's mother is inconsiderate of Amelia. Even with all her faults this is the woman who carried and gave life to their daughter and that in itself should be enough to think about how this tale will effect his daughter when she is older, and I wonder how they speak of her to their daughter.

Even in divorce situations you are always cautioned against badmouthing the other parent. Andrew didn't just tell his story, he told Sandi's and he also told Amelia's. If he was that concerned about Sandi's children he would have called Child Protective Services, or better yet why didn't the Adoption Facilitator? She should be a mandated reporter, so knowing everything that was going on she should have been obligated to make a call. Andrew has stated in comments that he didn't call anyone because it may have jeopardized the adoption, that Amelia may have wound up with Sandi and while I appreciate that he wanted to save a child from her wrath, he and all the other adults in this situation allowed 4 children to suffer for months, which seems a little self serving and selfish.

I think that anyone reading this book would feel compassion for Andrew and DJ but I really wonder how will this book impact Amelia in the future? This negative, degrading description of her birth mother? This is a good cautionary tale and a good reason why using an agency to facilitate the adoption process and navigate the relationship between prospective adoptive parents and birth parents is a good idea, but I still feel that there were expectations and feelings on both sides that led this adoption down a dark path that could have been nipped in the bud early on.