At Dark I Become Loathsome

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Pub Date Jan 28 2025 | Archive Date Feb 11 2025

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Description

From Eric LaRocca—Bram Stoker Award–nominated and Splatterpunk Award–winning author of Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke—comes At Dark, I Become Loathsome, a grim yet gentle, horrifying yet hopeful, intense tale of death, trauma, and love.


“If you’re reading this, you’ve likely thought that the world would be a better place without you.”


A single line of text, glowing in the darkness of the internet. Written by Ashley Lutin, who has often thought the same—and worse—in the years since his wife died and his young son disappeared. But the peace of the grave is not for him—it’s for those he can help. Ashley has constructed a peculiar ritual for those whose desire to die is at war with their yearning to live a better life.


Struggling to overcome his own endless grief, one night Ashley finds connection with Jinx—a potential candidate for Ashley’s next ritual—who spins a tale both revolting and fascinating. Thus begins a relationship that traps the two men in an ever-tightening spiral of painful revelations, where long-hidden secrets are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the light.


Only through pain can we find healing. Only through death can we find new life.

From Eric LaRocca—Bram Stoker Award–nominated and Splatterpunk Award–winning author of Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke—comes At Dark, I Become Loathsome, a grim yet gentle, horrifying...


A Note From the Publisher

Eric LaRocca (he/they) is a Bram Stoker Award finalist and Splatterpunk Award winner for Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke, which was named one of the “50 Best Horror Books of All Time” by Esquire. His other works include Everything the Darkness Eats, Fanged Dandelion, They Were Here Before Us, The Trees Grew Because I Bled There, We Can Never Leave This Place, and You’ve Lost a Lot of Blood. A prolific writer of horror and dark fiction, LaRocca often seeks inspiration by wandering the streets of Boston—especially after the sun sets.

Eric LaRocca (he/they) is a Bram Stoker Award finalist and Splatterpunk Award winner for Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke, which was named one of the “50 Best Horror Books of All Time” by...


Advance Praise

“Only Eric LaRocca can dig you a warm grave, luring you into its layered depths with a symphony of self-loathing, and make you never want to crawl out of the dark.”

Brian McAuley, author of Curse of the Reaper and Candy Cain Kills


“When people think of transgressive literature, they all too often think of it as an assault on the reader: external, aggressive, alienating. What makes LaRocca’s work so effective is not only how transgressive it is but how humane it is.”

Brian Evenson, author of Last Days and Song for the Unraveling of the World



“Only Eric LaRocca can dig you a warm grave, luring you into its layered depths with a symphony of self-loathing, and make you never want to crawl out of the dark.”

Brian McAuley, author of Curse of...


Marketing Plan


  • Splatterpunk Award winner and Bram Stoker Award finalist Eric LaRocca
  • The new title in Norman Reedus’s BigBaldHead imprint
  • National and regional reviews, features, and interviews
  • Horror and thriller buzz mailings
  • Bookseller and library show marketing
  • Digital and print advertising campaign
  • Social media campaign




  • Splatterpunk Award winner and Bram Stoker Award finalist Eric LaRocca
  • The new title in Norman Reedus’s BigBaldHead imprint
  • National and regional reviews, features, and interviews
  • Horror and thriller...

Available Editions

EDITION Hardcover
ISBN 9798212179027
PRICE $25.99 (USD)

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Average rating from 59 members


Featured Reviews

Ashley Lutin has suffered the death of his wife and the loss of his son at a store. To deal with his guilt and grief, he as altered his physical appearance to reflect the pain he feels inside. He spends time online, interacting with people who feel as if the world would be better off without them, offering them a ritual that attempts to use their desire to die to give them a chance at a rebirth and new life. He meets Jinx online and the two men exchange disturbing secrets before meeting so that Jinx can experience the ritual.

As with all LaRocca books, this transgressive book is unsettling and will create an increasing sense of unease in the reader. This book dives headfirst into grief, loss and self loathing. It's a stellar example of the ability of horror to evoke intense emotions. LaRocca's prose is beautiful even as it describes terrible things.

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