Easy read, author had me hanging on to her every word until the very end! Will definitely be searching for more books by Ella Harper.

I really don't think my review will do this book justice in the slightest, I really don't. Whatever I write, really wouldn't showcase the storyline in the way that it needs to be showcased. Seriously. I will try my very best to get my thoughts across but trust me on this; you NEED to read this book, like right now.

Four friends. Four different personalities. Four completely different lives. Fifteen years are a long time for someone who you once knew, to become someone you no longer know. These four friends really do highlight the saying of 'nobody knows what happens behind closed doors'. Just because you're a best friend to somebody, it doesn't necessarily mean that you know every single thing about them. What if they're too ashamed to tell you their deepest, darkest secret? What if they're holding something back because they have absolutely no idea how to deal with? What if they think their problem is theirs and theirs alone, despite knowing that their friends are there for them if needed?

Are they REALLY there for them?

Without going into too much detail; Connie, Jonas, JJ, and Layla have gone through so much together. Marriages. Births. Deaths. Health concerns. Family issues. You name it, they have probably given one another their shoulder to cry on. Yet, each of the four characters are going through such difficult times which they attempt to deal with on their own. Obviously, without telling you what happens in the book, you're probably sitting there a bit confused as you have no idea what I am talking about. However, please do trust me (again) when I say that you need to read this book - everything will become much clearer. 

If a heart was physically able to break multiple times in the space of 400 or so book pages, you'll be able to see how much this book affected me. My heart genuinely felt like it was constantly breaking. Not for all of the characters though, there was character in particular which I'm sorry to say, I couldn't muster up any empathy or sympathy towards. Yes, this character was going through a difficult time, but in all honesty, does that excuse actions which lead to devastating results? Personally, no. No it doesn't.

Whilst reading 'If I Fall', I remember struggling to breath as I was so upset for one character. I wanted to scream 'NOOOOO' out loud because of another character. I found tears pricking my eyes alongside an urge to hug yet another one of the characters. I found myself blubbering because of the emotional journey the author took me on with every single one of her characters, what they dealt with, as well as the repercussions of every single of their actions. My heart broke because a younger character saw something that they will never be able to rid their mind of. My heart broke because their innocence was taken away from them far too early. A lot of the characters pasts struck a chord with me which made this even more of an emotional read.

Even though the storyline was full of heart-breaking situations, emotional tales and gut-wrenching events, 'If I Fall' absolutely blew me away with its extremely powerful storyline. I have absolutely no idea how the author managed to write such an emotive read, whilst also delivering it absolutely flawlessly. 

 Full of devastation, emotion, heart-warming moments, belief and strength, 'If I Fall' is definitely a top contender for a top book of 2018, whilst also jumping its way into my 'most favourite books of all time' list.

I absolutely cannot recommend this enough, but I would advise you to keep the tissues beside you just in case.

Such a beautifully heart-breaking novel, written with such poise, strength and power; If I Fall is a read which needs to be devoured by every single person. If you were to do one thing for me today, it would be to buy this book and read it, before the time comes when you need to ask yourself; 'who would be there for me If I Fall?'.

Oh boy! I really didn't prepare myself for this very emotional read. From that very first page with the tragic suicide note I had tears in my eyes.

This book is incredibly well written and it features very strong storylines and they are delivered perfectly!

It really opens your eyes into peoples lives and makes you think that their lives may look perfect but they are far from it and really opens your eyes to how things are covered up so no one finds out.

Honestly my heart was broke reading this it is

so so devastating and heart breaking!

A must read, one you will not be able to put down as you just need to know what happens next!

Thank you to NetGalley, and the lovely people over at Canelo for my copy of this book, in exchange for my honest review. Also, thank you for letting me take part on the blog tour.

All of the issues in this book are real issues. Very real issues. Suicide is a horrible subject at any time, but to write about things leading to that point is just… Well, it’s made me very grateful that I have a good man, a beautiful son, incredible friends, and sometimes an incredible family. For somebody to be at that point is an awful thing to think of, and this book has made it even more real. The emotion, the feelings of nothing, the thought that the only way for it all to end is to do that. This book has definitely hit some close points, and I love it for that reason. Although at the beginning of the book, we do not know who is in that situation, it keeps you guessing or thinking of who gets to such a low point in their story.

While it kept me guessing, then double guessing, constantly through out the whole book, I found myself unfortunately hoping that it would soon end. It did keep me hooked yes, but it did also ramble a bit and it made me out down the book more than once. Trying to guess who’s life takes such a dramatic, unexpected turn was a difficult thing to do in this book. I can safely say it wasn’t who I finally settled on.

I, strangely, enjoyed seeing how each of the friends would ever overcome their drama, or if they ever did. I did wish there was more happiness from them, but in a way they all got it at the end of the book. Each friend definitely worked through their problems, making their lives a little easier. I found it difficult to read that much sadness, the worry, the never-ending depressed feeling, but we got their in the end.

The worst character for me was definitely Jonas. He was a dick, excuse my language. Everything about him was instantly dislikeable. I know you get people like that in real life, and I’m glad I do not know anyone like. I had the most sympathy probably for Layla. She felt like she had no one to turn to, that she had no life, and no prospects of a life. Connie was also another character I had sympathy for, her position was awful. Very awful, and one what will constantly be hidden behind closed doors unfortunately. JJ was the most intriguing for me, I would say his secret was the most hidden and the most difficult to attempt to guess. I had an inkling of what it could be but it didn’t make it any less horrific.

The writing in this book instantly gripped me, and I did love the story. The way it dug it’s claws in and refused to let go until the end page worked perfectly for this book. I’m definitely glad I read it, as I said at the beginning it has made me feel eternally grateful for everything I have in my life.

I cannot put a rating on this book. One minute I’m thinking a 3, the next 5. It has troubled me, but it has also been an excellent read. So, this book stays at a 3 for one day, then another it will be a 5.

Four friends,four very different lives with each having their own issues.
Beautifully written very heartfelt and I felt that any one could have a genuine connection with any one of these characters touching on on very real issues.
Brilliant novel

This story starts with a suicide attempt and then goes back in time to reveal which of four university friends tried to take their own life. The characters are well written and their actions mostly believable, with the usual misunderstandings helping things along. The tension builds nicely so that you are kept guessing until the end as to who wants to kill themselves. Recommended..

Thank you to Netgalley, the author and the Publishers, Canelo for this review copy given in exchange for an honest review. Also thank you to Ellie from Canelo for organising the blog tour and allowing me to be part of it.

A story about four friends who have all been close friends since university. JJ is a fitness instructor, single and unable to commit to a relationship. Layla is a counsellor who is also looking after her mum who has dementia. Jonas and Connie are married with two teenage daughters. Jonas is a lawyer who is feeling the pressure at work and Connie gave up her career to stay at home and look after the children. They’ve all supported each other for years, but they all have secrets that they haven’t shared with each other. What happens when those secrets come tumbling out?

My first Ella Harper book. The blurb didn’t really give much away so I went into it not really knowing how it was going to play out. The prologue of the book began with one of the friends being dealt with by paramedics following a suicide attempt. You don’t know which one of the friends it was, and you don’t know if they survive or not. As you read the book you realise it could be any one of the four friends as they are all hiding devastating secrets from everyone and each other. Each chapter is written from the perspective of one of the characters. What I thought was going to be a bit of a wishy-washy love/friendship saga turned out to be a tale of friendship, love, family and heartbreak.

As you are introduced to each of the four characters, you form your own opinion of them as the story moves on. To be honest, I felt for all the characters as each of their own individual problems are difficult in their own way. I guess initially I felt the most empathy towards Layla. I have worked in elderly care and know that it’s not an easy job – less easier when it’s your own parent. As the story moved on my feelings for each of the different characters changed. I thought Jonas was a horrible man, never taking any responsibility for anything he did, but every now and then he showed a caring side, just a pity it was never towards his wife! Connie, I felt, was your typical abused wife defending her bully husband, making excuses for him and not packing her bag and leaving. I did feel for her but was also willing her to just pluck up the courage and just go. JJ was an intriguing one – he obviously had a secret to do with his father, but I just didn’t guess what.

Four heart-breaking stories rolled into one equals a book of tears and sadness. I really enjoyed this one and got through it quickly in less than a day. It’s sensitively written broaching on upsetting subjects such as domestic violence and abuse and gives a real rollercoaster of emotions. I loved the way you didn’t know who had tried to take their own life until the end because, to be honest, it could have been any of them. Highly recommended, but be prepared for tears!

This is a riveting novel of relationships, secrets, lies, and consequences .. and it is addictive from the brief prologue.

Connie, Layla, Jonas and JJ attended university together and although two of them had a romance then, they’re not the two who went on to share married life. They have all gone on to have successful careers in their chosen field. Each of them, from the outside, look happy and settled but then the world doesn’t see the demons behind the facade. The one thing all four have in common is stress, and don’t we all have that in our lives in varying degrees? Just as good times bring friends together, bad times mean we lean on them that much more …

This could easily be a true story. It’s not hard to see the various events happening even now behind closed doors which is a chilling, if realistic, thought. Well drawn characters and great writing make this a very readable novel, one which I thoroughly enjoyed and have no hesitation in recommending.

My thanks to publishers Canelo for my copy via NetGalley. This is my honest, original and unbiased review.

Q&A with Ella Harper will be posted at the link below on 6 Feb as part of the blog tour.

Ella Harper strikes again. She hit us hard with Pieces Of You, which was an amazing book and here she does it again. With four friends who are at uni together and remain friends 15 years on. A miracle in its self, but no friendship is without trouble and these four have it brewing. First we have a Failing layer, a self employed psychotherapist who's mother is becoming more dependant on her daughter, a personal trainer who's past is coming for him and then Connie who is a mother and blogger who's life is just taking turns for the worst daily. All four are trying to keep their heads above water but not relying on each other at all. Then one tries to end it all and they realise they should all be looking out for each other..

The story is brilliant and hit home about dementia, wife beating and sexual abuse, which in some cases can be hard to read, but she does it in a not to dramatic way that is sympathetic to the case. Most of the way through the book i was totally hooked, but i have to say in parts i felt to much was given away when there is hints to what could come and feel they would of been better served cold. The shock level would of made this one of the best books i had read in along time. Having said that it is an amazing book which will have most sat on the edge of their seat.

The book opens with a suicide note - but offers no clue as to which of the 4 friends in the book may have written it. Each has a secret, a hidden struggle, or is dealing with some challenge in their life. But they have each other to rely on, don't they? That's what they promised each other many years ago. Domestic abuse, dementia, childhood abuse all play a role in the story. You won't be able to put this book down, once you have started it.

The book follows four friends after a friendship at University. Connie and Jonas are married, she had a relationship that ended abruptly with JJ. Layla is a psychotherapist who is dealing with her mothers early onset dementia. JJ seems unable to settle down with anyone.
All 4 friends have problems they aren't sharing with their friends and we are left to wonder who might 'fall'. You feel for each character in turn- although I must admit it's more difficult to find empathy for Jonas. You are desperate to know what is going to happen to each of them and it keeps you turning the pages.

Funny, sad, believable, tragic, redemptive...

Highly recommended

What I most like about being a reviewer/blogger on NetGalley is that you discover some new authors and that's where I stand with this novel. A new exciting find. There are four characters leaving university who are preparing to plunge into the real world. Fifteen years later we catch up with them. It's like looking through the keyhole. Two of them, Connie & Jonas have got married and have lived happily with two daughters but their marriage has turned into a car crash. Jonas works in the Magistrates Court & Connie (originally a journalist) is a now a S.A.H.M but works as a professional blogger. Layla is single, working from home as a therapist because her mother has advancing dementia. She is wanting love and marriage and belongs to an online dating site. Lastly JJ who is the bed-hopping bachelor fighting his demons and past. He carries the shame of a dark, ugly secret. That's for me to know and you to read about. I loved the style of writing as it carries the story along so fluidly and there's a lot of humour. You find yourself becoming so involved with these four young people. There's love, enviable friendship, hardship and heartbreak. What I thought most makes this book stand out is that in the train crash marriage we learn how both of the couple are feeling. Normally, you only get one side of a story. I gritted my teeth over Jonas's mental processes but I recognise the type. Enough said. In the same way we are familiar with the horrors of dementia but the reality of the carer's position has never been clearer. Such an admirable insight. A fascinating book about real people in their modern lives. I would definitely recommend this book. Thank you to NetGalley and Canelo for letting me read it. I shall spread the word on publication with Amazon, Goodreads, Facebook and my Blog..

Thanks to Netgalley for my copy.

An unsigned suicide note is the opener for this book.

Fifteen years have passed since four friends graduated from university together.

Connie, a former journalist turned blogger and mother of two girls.

Jonas, a solicitor married to Connie but struggling to cope with his extremely stressful workload.

JJ, a personal trainer who flits from one woman to another whilst struggling to contain his inner demons.

Layla, a counsellor who is trying to balance running her own business with the care of her increasingly deteriorating mother.

We never know really what is happening to other people and what happens behind closed doors. The strains and stresses of everyday life can be extremely wearing both mentally and physically. This book captures the emotional fallout of different types of problems and the effect they can have on work, family plus emotional and physical wellbeing. Who you think is outwardly the strongest person is not always the case. This book deals with abuse, emotional, sexual and physical, Alzheimers and general family dynamics. It is told in a thoughtful but gut wrenching way and I really felt torn with these four main characters. It was easy to dislike one but still feel empathy for them. A riveting distressing story.

The book then travels back to 2003 to four friends, Connie, Jonas, JJ and Layla. It's graduation day, and they're all looking forward to the future. They are all sitting around talking about being friends forever. Even Connie and JJ, who had a bit of a 'thing' recently couldn't ImagiBack of the book :

Four university friends, four devastating secrets.

I’m really sorry for what I’m about to do...

It’s fifteen years since graduation, and Connie, Jonas, JJ and Layla have managed to remain close despite the odds. They’ve supported each other, but are some things too big for friendship?

Connie is desperate to maintain the veneer of perfect family life.

Jonas is feeling the pressure at work.

Layla’s career is unravelling thanks to her ill mother

JJ’s past is catching up with him.

When they stumble and fall, who will be there to catch them?



What I think : 

The book opens with a suicide note, then it cuts to a paramedic telling a friend of the person who has written the note to 'prepare for the worst' as it doesn't look good. ne life without each other. 

Fast forward fifteen years and the four are still friends but things have changed a bit. Connie and Jonas are together and married with 2 daughters, Connie had a career as a journalist but now she looks after the girls and writes a blog. Jonas is a criminal solicitor and finds his job quite stressful. JJ is a personal trainer and very much ladies man, and Layla is a therapist with a mother who lives with her and is going slowly batty !

All four friends have secrets that they'd rather the others didn't now about. 

What will happen when those secrets come tumbling out ...? 

Will they all be there for each other or will they fall ... ? 

I really didn't want to put this book down, I read it in a day. Brilliantly written, with really believable characters that could quite easily be your friends or mine. This book covers some quite difficult subjects such as, domestic violence, sexual abuse and dementia. 

It takes us on a roller coaster of emotions with all the highs and lows of friendship and a lot more besides. With a hint of a thriller in as much as its keeps you guessing as to which one of the four friends it was that tried to end their life. 

Have a box of tissues ready for the end !

I give this fab book a well-earned 9/10. (5 stars)



Published on ebook by Canelo on 22/01/18.

A huge Thank you to Ellie Pilcher at Canelo for the advanced Digital copy of the book to review. 

And here for your reading pleasure is an extract from the book.

Well written book and enjoyed the chapters being from the perspectives of the various characters- some of which I liked more than others! I would like to have got to have known some of the characters back stories a little more...maybe an idea for a further book?

Layla, Connie, JJ and Jonas are all friends from university. Fifteen years later and Connie and Jonas are married, Layla is living a single life with a mum who is sick and JJ likes to keep his options open but things are becoming a bit stale and he is looking for lost love.

The story is told from each person’s perspective, Layla’s looking for love but with her mum suffering from dementia she’s not sure how she can have what she needs and is becoming overwhelmed. Connie and Jonas are struggling within their marriage, Jonas is having problems at work and is taking his frustrations out on Connie and JJ is trying to deal with a problem from his past which will push him to his limit. Can the friends be there for each other before things take a serious turn for the worse?

A good book with interesting characters incorporating friendship and love but also covering the serious subjects of domestic violence and dementia. A well written story which I enjoyed.

This was an okay book, the premise was good but it just fell a bit short.

I really enjoyed this tale of four friends from uni and their lives as adults and the twist and turns their lives have taken them in. Remaining friends for another 15 years helping each other through tough times. The first chapter was tough as there are 4 characters but from then on in each person takes a chapter and it was really well written