If I Fall

The story revolves around 4 friends and their lives. Each one has a secret, each one has their cross to bear till one of them decides that life is a bit too difficult and takes a drastic step.
I’m really sorry for what I’m about to do...
My first book by Ella Harper, and she is fantastic in parts. All the characters are well etched, their story starts from university days and fifteen years hence. But the author has not concentrated much on the past but has described their lives all in the present.
The story started slow, picked up the right momentum, but the ending felt rushed to me. The parts where each of them are going through their troubled times are well described, Ella made me feel their pain. But then it fritters away. The writing has its own crests and troughs.
The story could hold my attention to the extent that I could finish the book in a day. The plot line was clichéd but yet interesting. I like reading about friends and their lives. Ella has also added a bit of suspense, as the reader is kept in the dark about the friend who has reached the depths, to never rise again.
Ella has brought forth abuse in the topic, and it is dealt sensitively, but there is also a rawness to it. That made the entire scene extremely real. There are a lot of dramatic scenes to add to the plot. They bring their own flavor and twists.
There are few niggles; the ending was rushed, the story got over before I was ready for it to be over. So I was left feeling a little empty. The epilogue could have been written better, I wanted something more, maybe more emotions..
But I had fun reading this book, and I can recommend it to everyone who likes a contemporary story about friends. A good read for a silent afternoon.
I received an ARC from NetGalley and publisher Canelo, and this is my honest and unbiased opinion.

Four friends from university promise to be friends forever but will life get in the way of their friendship or will their promise remain.

Fifteen years after we first meet them Connie has given up her journalist career to look after her family.
Jonas her husband is a lawyer who is feeling pressure at work and is feeling a little stuck in his marriage..
JJ is now a personal trainer who was Connies love in university is now living a single life and appears to have it all.
Layla is now a psychotherapist but is struggling balancing her career with the demands of her sick mother.
Pressures build in each of the characters lives and secrets and demons are slowly revealed. Each character in their own way fall but will someone be there to catch them?
This story coloured love, friendship and real live issues which are explored in a powerful and realistic way.
I found the story slow at the beginning but was soon racing through the book to see what was going to happen at the end. I related to the fact that even though things may seem fine in the surface every family have unseen issues going on which usually come to the surface. Really enjoyed the ending and would recommend wholeheartedly.
Thank you to #netgalley and the publishers for allowing me to read this excellent book .

Following the story of 4 university friends find out where their lives have taken them 15 years on. Full of secrets, passion, family and love - a hard to read at times story of what life is really like.

I really liked the sound of the story by the description and I wasn't disappointed (although it was hard to read in places with storylines about physical and sexual abuse as well as alzheimer's). A powerful storyline written so well - I'll be looking out for the next book by Ella Harper.

I loved this book! The book starts with a suicide note and an individual talking to the paramedics about a friend who has tried to commit suicide. You’re then introduced to the four main characters. A website journalist & Mum Connie who is married to Jonas and JJ, a personal trainer, & Layla a therapist. All four met at University and fifteen years later they are still friends. Each chapter is written from the viewpoint of one of the characters. As their stories develop you are questioning who is going to commit suicide as all of them are fighting their own demons.
Would highly recommend this book as it keeps you guessing and you quickly become in vested in their stories & issues.
Thanks to Net Galley and Camelot for a ARC.
#IfIFall. #NetGalley

I really enjoyed this tale of four friends from uni and their lives as adults and the twist and turns their lives have taken them in. Remaining friends for another 15 years helping each other through tough times. The first chapter was tough as there are 4 characters but from then on in each person takes a chapter and it was really well written

Layla, Connie, JJ and Jonas are all friends from university. Fifteen years later and Connie and Jonas are married, Layla is living a single life with a mum who is sick and JJ likes to keep his options open but things are becoming a bit stale and he is looking for lost love.

The story is told from each person’s perspective, Layla’s looking for love but with her mum suffering from dementia she’s not sure how she can have what she needs and is becoming overwhelmed. Connie and Jonas are struggling within their marriage, Jonas is having problems at work and is taking his frustrations out on Connie and JJ is trying to deal with a problem from his past which will push him to his limit. Can the friends be there for each other before things take a serious turn for the worse?

A good book with interesting characters incorporating friendship and love but also covering the serious subjects of domestic violence and dementia. A well written story which I enjoyed.

Well written book and enjoyed the chapters being from the perspectives of the various characters- some of which I liked more than others! I would like to have got to have known some of the characters back stories a little more...maybe an idea for a further book?

The book then travels back to 2003 to four friends, Connie, Jonas, JJ and Layla. It's graduation day, and they're all looking forward to the future. They are all sitting around talking about being friends forever. Even Connie and JJ, who had a bit of a 'thing' recently couldn't ImagiBack of the book :

Four university friends, four devastating secrets.

I’m really sorry for what I’m about to do...

It’s fifteen years since graduation, and Connie, Jonas, JJ and Layla have managed to remain close despite the odds. They’ve supported each other, but are some things too big for friendship?

Connie is desperate to maintain the veneer of perfect family life.

Jonas is feeling the pressure at work.

Layla’s career is unravelling thanks to her ill mother

JJ’s past is catching up with him.

When they stumble and fall, who will be there to catch them?



What I think : 

The book opens with a suicide note, then it cuts to a paramedic telling a friend of the person who has written the note to 'prepare for the worst' as it doesn't look good. ne life without each other. 

Fast forward fifteen years and the four are still friends but things have changed a bit. Connie and Jonas are together and married with 2 daughters, Connie had a career as a journalist but now she looks after the girls and writes a blog. Jonas is a criminal solicitor and finds his job quite stressful. JJ is a personal trainer and very much ladies man, and Layla is a therapist with a mother who lives with her and is going slowly batty !

All four friends have secrets that they'd rather the others didn't now about. 

What will happen when those secrets come tumbling out ...? 

Will they all be there for each other or will they fall ... ? 

I really didn't want to put this book down, I read it in a day. Brilliantly written, with really believable characters that could quite easily be your friends or mine. This book covers some quite difficult subjects such as, domestic violence, sexual abuse and dementia. 

It takes us on a roller coaster of emotions with all the highs and lows of friendship and a lot more besides. With a hint of a thriller in as much as its keeps you guessing as to which one of the four friends it was that tried to end their life. 

Have a box of tissues ready for the end !

I give this fab book a well-earned 9/10. (5 stars)



Published on ebook by Canelo on 22/01/18.

A huge Thank you to Ellie Pilcher at Canelo for the advanced Digital copy of the book to review. 

And here for your reading pleasure is an extract from the book.

If I Fall is a heart-wrenching, realistic story of four friends who realize life doesn’t always turn out the way you expect. Torn apart by secrets and internal struggles, who will catch them when they all hit rock bottom?

If I Fall opens with four college students—JJ, Layla, Jonas, and Connie—dreaming about their future. They have it all figured out, as college students do. JJ will become a fitness instructor, Layla will be a psychiatrist, Connie will be a journalist, and Jonas will become an attorney. And, of course, they’ll all live happily ever after.

Flash forward fifteen years, and life hasn’t turned out exactly how they planned. Despite still being good friends, they’re all keeping secrets from each other, and these secrets are threatening to weigh them down. Jonas is bucking for a partner position, and in the meantime, he’s starting to bow under the stress of his job and his resentment towards his boss is growing to unhealthy heights. JJ has become a womanizer, alone and seeking the love he lost in college. Layla’s convinced her mother has dementia, but she’s afraid to get her diagnosed, because for now, she can live in denial, but once it’s official, the problem becomes all too real. Connie is a stay-at-home mother running a blog and trying her best to support her husband, Jonas.

Everything comes to a head as their worlds fall apart, and though they swore to be there for each other, they’re all hiding a secret that has the potential to destroy their worlds. A dark presence from JJ’s past, one he’s refused to tell anyone about, has come to call. Layla realizes she can’t care for her mother and have a life of her own. Jonas begins to resent all the pressure he’s under and goes on a self-destructive bent. And Connie is realizing that maybe her marriage is beyond saving.

All four find themselves falling, hitting rock bottom, and in their most desperate moments, they contemplate the truth about life and whether it’s even worth living.

The Good:

- Ella Harper creates fabulous, relatable characters. As the book is character-driven, this is important. They ranged the emotional gambit, and every one of them felt realistic and fleshed-out. More importantly, I cared about them, because their situations were ones that people I’ve known have faced, and the way they approached them felt genuine and authentic.

- There’s a very strong theme of falling and having someone to catch you that carried throughout the book, and that was really well done. It was thought-provoking and, at times, gut-wrenching. By the end, it was clear what a devastating effect secrets can have, even when they’re well-intended. Sometimes soldiering on isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

- I couldn’t put it down. I went without sleep to finish this book, because by midway through, I was fully invested. I could see things spiraling, and of course I wanted a happy ending, and darn it, I was going to see it through at that point.

- If I Fall touches on a lot of very painful life events, but it doesn’t go easy on it. It shows the struggles for what they are, all the messy, brutalness of it. At the same time, there are plenty of funny moments. It’s not all doom and gloom. At the heart of the characters, like people, they want to be happy and lead good lives, regardless of the circumstances they find themselves in.

The Bad:

- The book opens with a prologue. It’s intentionally kept mysterious, but there’s no indication of how it fits in with the story. Names are intentionally not used. It’s not mentioned or brought up again until almost 90% of the way through the book. I didn’t even know where it sat in the timeline. I found that extremely frustrating. It all made sense and tied up nicely in the end, of course, but I found the lead-in with that more of a detriment than anything.

- At some points, especially towards the middle of the book, the struggles became repetitive. It was a will she/won’t she situation, especially with Connie, to the point where I just wanted to shake her and tell her to make a decision and move on with it. This is a double-edged sword, because it’s realistic, and the way the character approached her struggles was realistic, but at the same time, it was annoying to read.

- Jonas. Just everything about his character by mid-story was ugh. I guess you can’t like everyone in life, so this is also a double-edged sword. The character is realistic. But that doesn’t make him likeable. But since he’s a point of view character, it makes it hard getting through his chapters when you just can’t stand the guy.

- The end wrapped up far too quickly and too neatly. I don’t want to give any spoilers away, but I will say that it felt extremely rushed. The end end was fine, and I was content with the actual ending, but the denouement left much to be desired. I’ll just leave it at that.

All in all, I’d give it a solid four stars. It starts a little slow, which is to be expected for a character-driven novel, as you get used to the characters and start to get attached. But as I said, I couldn’t put it down once it built up. The struggle was so realistic, and I easily empathized with them all. In the end, the themes are things we all face: how do we cope when life doesn’t turn out the way we had expected, and who will pull us up when we hit rock bottom? If I Fall would definitely make my 2018 must-read list.

Thanks to Netgalley for my copy.

An unsigned suicide note is the opener for this book.

Fifteen years have passed since four friends graduated from university together.

Connie, a former journalist turned blogger and mother of two girls.

Jonas, a solicitor married to Connie but struggling to cope with his extremely stressful workload.

JJ, a personal trainer who flits from one woman to another whilst struggling to contain his inner demons.

Layla, a counsellor who is trying to balance running her own business with the care of her increasingly deteriorating mother.

We never know really what is happening to other people and what happens behind closed doors. The strains and stresses of everyday life can be extremely wearing both mentally and physically. This book captures the emotional fallout of different types of problems and the effect they can have on work, family plus emotional and physical wellbeing. Who you think is outwardly the strongest person is not always the case. This book deals with abuse, emotional, sexual and physical, Alzheimers and general family dynamics. It is told in a thoughtful but gut wrenching way and I really felt torn with these four main characters. It was easy to dislike one but still feel empathy for them. A riveting distressing story.

What I most like about being a reviewer/blogger on NetGalley is that you discover some new authors and that's where I stand with this novel. A new exciting find. There are four characters leaving university who are preparing to plunge into the real world. Fifteen years later we catch up with them. It's like looking through the keyhole. Two of them, Connie & Jonas have got married and have lived happily with two daughters but their marriage has turned into a car crash. Jonas works in the Magistrates Court & Connie (originally a journalist) is a now a S.A.H.M but works as a professional blogger. Layla is single, working from home as a therapist because her mother has advancing dementia. She is wanting love and marriage and belongs to an online dating site. Lastly JJ who is the bed-hopping bachelor fighting his demons and past. He carries the shame of a dark, ugly secret. That's for me to know and you to read about. I loved the style of writing as it carries the story along so fluidly and there's a lot of humour. You find yourself becoming so involved with these four young people. There's love, enviable friendship, hardship and heartbreak. What I thought most makes this book stand out is that in the train crash marriage we learn how both of the couple are feeling. Normally, you only get one side of a story. I gritted my teeth over Jonas's mental processes but I recognise the type. Enough said. In the same way we are familiar with the horrors of dementia but the reality of the carer's position has never been clearer. Such an admirable insight. A fascinating book about real people in their modern lives. I would definitely recommend this book. Thank you to NetGalley and Canelo for letting me read it. I shall spread the word on publication with Amazon, Goodreads, Facebook and my Blog..

Funny, sad, believable, tragic, redemptive...

Highly recommended

The book follows four friends after a friendship at University. Connie and Jonas are married, she had a relationship that ended abruptly with JJ. Layla is a psychotherapist who is dealing with her mothers early onset dementia. JJ seems unable to settle down with anyone.
All 4 friends have problems they aren't sharing with their friends and we are left to wonder who might 'fall'. You feel for each character in turn- although I must admit it's more difficult to find empathy for Jonas. You are desperate to know what is going to happen to each of them and it keeps you turning the pages.