If I Fall is a heart-wrenching, realistic story of four friends who realize life doesn’t always turn out the way you expect. Torn apart by secrets and internal struggles, who will catch them when they all hit rock bottom?

If I Fall opens with four college students—JJ, Layla, Jonas, and Connie—dreaming about their future. They have it all figured out, as college students do. JJ will become a fitness instructor, Layla will be a psychiatrist, Connie will be a journalist, and Jonas will become an attorney. And, of course, they’ll all live happily ever after.

Flash forward fifteen years, and life hasn’t turned out exactly how they planned. Despite still being good friends, they’re all keeping secrets from each other, and these secrets are threatening to weigh them down. Jonas is bucking for a partner position, and in the meantime, he’s starting to bow under the stress of his job and his resentment towards his boss is growing to unhealthy heights. JJ has become a womanizer, alone and seeking the love he lost in college. Layla’s convinced her mother has dementia, but she’s afraid to get her diagnosed, because for now, she can live in denial, but once it’s official, the problem becomes all too real. Connie is a stay-at-home mother running a blog and trying her best to support her husband, Jonas.

Everything comes to a head as their worlds fall apart, and though they swore to be there for each other, they’re all hiding a secret that has the potential to destroy their worlds. A dark presence from JJ’s past, one he’s refused to tell anyone about, has come to call. Layla realizes she can’t care for her mother and have a life of her own. Jonas begins to resent all the pressure he’s under and goes on a self-destructive bent. And Connie is realizing that maybe her marriage is beyond saving.

All four find themselves falling, hitting rock bottom, and in their most desperate moments, they contemplate the truth about life and whether it’s even worth living.

The Good:

- Ella Harper creates fabulous, relatable characters. As the book is character-driven, this is important. They ranged the emotional gambit, and every one of them felt realistic and fleshed-out. More importantly, I cared about them, because their situations were ones that people I’ve known have faced, and the way they approached them felt genuine and authentic.

- There’s a very strong theme of falling and having someone to catch you that carried throughout the book, and that was really well done. It was thought-provoking and, at times, gut-wrenching. By the end, it was clear what a devastating effect secrets can have, even when they’re well-intended. Sometimes soldiering on isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

- I couldn’t put it down. I went without sleep to finish this book, because by midway through, I was fully invested. I could see things spiraling, and of course I wanted a happy ending, and darn it, I was going to see it through at that point.

- If I Fall touches on a lot of very painful life events, but it doesn’t go easy on it. It shows the struggles for what they are, all the messy, brutalness of it. At the same time, there are plenty of funny moments. It’s not all doom and gloom. At the heart of the characters, like people, they want to be happy and lead good lives, regardless of the circumstances they find themselves in.

The Bad:

- The book opens with a prologue. It’s intentionally kept mysterious, but there’s no indication of how it fits in with the story. Names are intentionally not used. It’s not mentioned or brought up again until almost 90% of the way through the book. I didn’t even know where it sat in the timeline. I found that extremely frustrating. It all made sense and tied up nicely in the end, of course, but I found the lead-in with that more of a detriment than anything.

- At some points, especially towards the middle of the book, the struggles became repetitive. It was a will she/won’t she situation, especially with Connie, to the point where I just wanted to shake her and tell her to make a decision and move on with it. This is a double-edged sword, because it’s realistic, and the way the character approached her struggles was realistic, but at the same time, it was annoying to read.

- Jonas. Just everything about his character by mid-story was ugh. I guess you can’t like everyone in life, so this is also a double-edged sword. The character is realistic. But that doesn’t make him likeable. But since he’s a point of view character, it makes it hard getting through his chapters when you just can’t stand the guy.

- The end wrapped up far too quickly and too neatly. I don’t want to give any spoilers away, but I will say that it felt extremely rushed. The end end was fine, and I was content with the actual ending, but the denouement left much to be desired. I’ll just leave it at that.

All in all, I’d give it a solid four stars. It starts a little slow, which is to be expected for a character-driven novel, as you get used to the characters and start to get attached. But as I said, I couldn’t put it down once it built up. The struggle was so realistic, and I easily empathized with them all. In the end, the themes are things we all face: how do we cope when life doesn’t turn out the way we had expected, and who will pull us up when we hit rock bottom? If I Fall would definitely make my 2018 must-read list.

I loved this book! The book starts with a suicide note and an individual talking to the paramedics about a friend who has tried to commit suicide. You’re then introduced to the four main characters. A website journalist & Mum Connie who is married to Jonas and JJ, a personal trainer, & Layla a therapist. All four met at University and fifteen years later they are still friends. Each chapter is written from the viewpoint of one of the characters. As their stories develop you are questioning who is going to commit suicide as all of them are fighting their own demons.
Would highly recommend this book as it keeps you guessing and you quickly become in vested in their stories & issues.
Thanks to Net Galley and Camelot for a ARC.
#IfIFall. #NetGalley

In Ella Harper’s new novel If I Fall we are presented with four characters and we are asked t look at how much they have changed over 15 years. Obviously that change is going to be massive. Are you the same person you were fifteen years ago? Presumably not. Like our four main characthers – JJ, Connie, Jonas and Layla – chances are you have grown up. Your goals, ambitions, worries and lifestyles have changed. What is interesting about If I Fall is that the friendship that this group of people are clinging on to is built on lies and deceit.

Modern day problems have taken over their lives and the carefree nature of their youth has gone. It is addictive watching the lives unfold and I often found myself telling the characters not to make the wrong decisions which they inevitably did.

Ella Harper has written a winning story that will keep you glued to your book until the very last page. It is full of intrigue and drama and If I Fall definitely deserves a place on your to be read pile. Put it there now!

If I Fall by Ella Harper is available now.

For more information regarding Ella Harper (@Ella_Harper) please visit www.ellaharper.co.uk.


For more information regarding Canelo (@Canelo_co) please visit www.canelo.co.

The story revolves around 4 friends and their lives. Each one has a secret, each one has their cross to bear till one of them decides that life is a bit too difficult and takes a drastic step.
I’m really sorry for what I’m about to do...
My first book by Ella Harper, and she is fantastic in parts. All the characters are well etched, their story starts from university days and fifteen years hence. But the author has not concentrated much on the past but has described their lives all in the present.
The story started slow, picked up the right momentum, but the ending felt rushed to me. The parts where each of them are going through their troubled times are well described, Ella made me feel their pain. But then it fritters away. The writing has its own crests and troughs.
The story could hold my attention to the extent that I could finish the book in a day. The plot line was clichéd but yet interesting. I like reading about friends and their lives. Ella has also added a bit of suspense, as the reader is kept in the dark about the friend who has reached the depths, to never rise again.
Ella has brought forth abuse in the topic, and it is dealt sensitively, but there is also a rawness to it. That made the entire scene extremely real. There are a lot of dramatic scenes to add to the plot. They bring their own flavor and twists.
There are few niggles; the ending was rushed, the story got over before I was ready for it to be over. So I was left feeling a little empty. The epilogue could have been written better, I wanted something more, maybe more emotions..
But I had fun reading this book, and I can recommend it to everyone who likes a contemporary story about friends. A good read for a silent afternoon.
I received an ARC from NetGalley and publisher Canelo, and this is my honest and unbiased opinion.

Four friends from university promise to be friends forever but will life get in the way of their friendship or will their promise remain.

Fifteen years after we first meet them Connie has given up her journalist career to look after her family.
Jonas her husband is a lawyer who is feeling pressure at work and is feeling a little stuck in his marriage..
JJ is now a personal trainer who was Connies love in university is now living a single life and appears to have it all.
Layla is now a psychotherapist but is struggling balancing her career with the demands of her sick mother.
Pressures build in each of the characters lives and secrets and demons are slowly revealed. Each character in their own way fall but will someone be there to catch them?
This story coloured love, friendship and real live issues which are explored in a powerful and realistic way.
I found the story slow at the beginning but was soon racing through the book to see what was going to happen at the end. I related to the fact that even though things may seem fine in the surface every family have unseen issues going on which usually come to the surface. Really enjoyed the ending and would recommend wholeheartedly.
Thank you to #netgalley and the publishers for allowing me to read this excellent book .

Four uni friends, 15 years down the line from leaving university and facing their demons. I enjoyed the book but found it very repetitive.

Following the story of 4 university friends find out where their lives have taken them 15 years on. Full of secrets, passion, family and love - a hard to read at times story of what life is really like.

I really liked the sound of the story by the description and I wasn't disappointed (although it was hard to read in places with storylines about physical and sexual abuse as well as alzheimer's). A powerful storyline written so well - I'll be looking out for the next book by Ella Harper.

I was granted a wish for this book - and for the most part I really liked it. Of course, I preferred the ladies' POV chapters to the men's. I am probably going to hell for wishing a fictional character (Jonah) would off himself and was extremely disappointed when it didn't happen. Deep down I knew it wouldn't happen - Jonah would be too angry at the world to die.. My heart breaks for Layla - being an only child with all of the burden of an elderly parent can be so rough. JJ needs therapy and not just Connie's love to get through his past but I don't think that will happen