"Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me" by Anna Mehler Paperny is a raw and powerful exploration of mental health that reads like a conversation with a close friend. Paperny fearlessly shares her personal journey with depression and suicidal thoughts, inviting readers into the depths of her struggles. What sets this memoir apart is its unfiltered honesty and the author's ability to blend vulnerability with sharp wit.

The narrative is not just about despair; it's about resilience, hope, and the messy process of healing. Paperny deftly navigates through the complexities of the mental health system, offering insightful commentary on its flaws and the urgent need for change. Her writing is both poignant and accessible, making it a compelling read for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of mental health issues.

"Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me" is not just a memoir; it's a call to action. Paperny's courage in sharing her story encourages a more open conversation about mental health, making this book a must-read for those looking to break the stigma surrounding mental illness.

I received an advanced digital copy of this book from the author, publisher and NetGalley.com. Thanks to all for the opportunity to read and review. The opinions expressed in this review are my own.

This is a deep, reflective book on suicide. The author speaks of her own experience and goes further to look at suicide's effect on other ethnic and racial communities.

Not a light read by any means, and should not be taken lightly, but should definitely be read.

5 out of 5 stars. Highly recommended.

I wasn't able to download this book on my Kindle so I haven't been able to read it to give an honest review.

Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me // by Anna Mehler Paperny

I have had this one on my TBR list for a while and I hate that it took me this long to get to it because it is a really good book with so many really important messages. I have always liked memoirs that teach me something and this one really blows it out of the water in that aspect. We get to hear a lot about Paperny’s own life of course but she regularly interspersed it with information about depression in general and suicide specifically. The first part of the book was like you would expect a memoir to be in that sense, having that extra information here and there, but later in the book, that switched around: It now was more of a book about suicide with occasional personal experiences mixed it. While I personally loved all of that, it may not be what other people expect from it since it is marketed as just a memoir rather than a non-fiction book about this topic.

She regularly tells us about how she reached out to the people she spoke to for this book and I am blown away at all the research she did to make this as comprehensive and educational as possible. She is a white woman herself and recognizes the privileges that come with that, but that did not stop her from thoroughly researching this topic with a focus on people of color, indigenous communities, and children as well, just to name a few. While I obviously hate that she went through all of this, I still found it very fascinating and loved learning so much about it. I struggle with depression myself and some parts really struck home. While I have never seriously considered suicide myself, it still felt like she was speaking directly to me sometimes. Despite all this serious information from anecdotes, scientific research, authors, and experts, it was presented in a way that was engaging and easily understood. She also has a somewhat dry and morbid sense of humor that lightens up the seriousness here and there.

Thank you to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for providing me with a free copy in exchange for an honest review.

An excellent book on depression and the struggles to live with it, with a particularly strong look at dealing with doctors and treatment as well. The writing was engaging, raw and even included dark humor, which I share and love. I recommend it to anyone interested in understanding depression or simply to understand someone in their life that may be struggling with it. Recommended.

I loved this one. Easy to read and a good story. I'd read further books by the author. I'm rating it 4.5/5 stars.

I received a complimentary copy of this title from the publisher through NetGalley. Opinions expressed are my own.

This is a REALLY good book about depression. I give it 4 stars because my point of comparison for first-hand accounts of mental illness are Jenny Lawson and she's hilarious and honest, but this is really good.

I normally have a fairly difficult time reading straight informative nonfiction, just because it's so dry and like reading a textbook. But the fact that this had that research and important information along with the memoir made it easier (Not in terms of topic, of course) to read to completion. It's extremely important to talk about these things in detail like this, even more so for the people who don't have this illness personally.

I very much enjoyed this book. It was so well-written and masterfully explained the psychological pain associated with suicidality and depression. It's a nice introduction to depression for those who are trying to learn more about it.

CW: suicide, self-harm

Naturally, quite a dark book, but I enjoyed listening to it. The book explores not only Anna's personal experiences with depression and mental health treatment, but also takes a broader look at these topics across North America. As Anna is Canadian, much of the book is about the Canadian health care system, which I found to be very eye-opening.

Note: I did not have a chance to read the ARC prior to it being archived, but thankfully my library had a copy.

I was very interested in reading this because it is a personal account of dealing with a mental health illness and navigating the psychiatric services. I work in this field on the clinical side so it is always interesting to see how someone utilizing services feels. This was an honest and insightful account of what it is like to live with mental illness and to have your life disrupted by the treatments. It’s an intimidating system that often puts patients privacy low on the agenda due to possible safety concerns.
I completely appreciated this account and highly recommend it for those who are dealing with an illness, as well as family and caregivers who want greater insight into the system of care.
Thank you for the early copy.
#Netgalley #HelloIWantToDiePleaseFixIt #The Experiment

This is powerful stuff. It's also difficult to read in spots but it's so eye opening that it is definitely worth your time. I usually struggle with rating memoirs because it feels as though it's passing judgment on someone's life but this is more than a memoir- it's an expose of the mental health system and an in-depth personal examination. I'm not sure this is the book to read if you are struggling with depression but those who have a friend, colleague, or family member in this place should give it a try. Thanks to netgalley for the Arc. Bravo to Paperny for her honesty.

I've read a lot of books written from the viewpoint of someone suffering from depression. This is the first book to feel so incredibly honest it hurt. Anna bravely presents her personal experience with depression and suicidality and does the research to explore options and the the limited availability of these options to those who need them most. Great book.

I was really impressed by this book and the author's ability to both inform the reader and make a deeply personal case seamlessly. Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me didn't read simply like a memoir or an investigation, but was both simultaneously. I was able to connect the anecdotes to my own personal experiences with mental health struggles, while learning about the ins and outs of the legality and science of it all. I appreciate that I am finishing this book with a better sense of feeling "seen' while also being better informed.

Special thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This book was very powerful and moving. It was difficult to read. The author does an amazing job of describing and dissections all things related to the topic. Wow.

I would like to thank NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for giving me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for my honest review.

This is like half a suicidal memoir, and half a journalistic investigation into suicide from biological, societal, and systematic perspectives.

Just gotta say, if you're feeling suicidal, probably don't read this book. I didn't find it "triggering," per se, since I am not suicidal, but reading it definitely made two or three days that otherwise would have been completely normal, functioning days into weird, dim, unhappy days.

I expected this book to be about depression, which it kind of is. But it's more about suicide and suicidal ideation, specifically. The journalism on the topic is interesting. I have never personally interacted with the institutions of mental health or psychotropic medication, and reading about how disjointed the whole system is was eye-opening. I also had totally believed the "serotonin" explanation of how SSRIs work, and had no idea that people still straight up do not understand what's going on in the brain regarding this or any other mental condition. Crazy.

Equally crazy is that she works for Reuters now despite what seemed to be a work history record rife with depression-induced demerits and outright holes. She must be one heck of a reporter

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for this early copy!

I recommend checking out this memoir, it was well written and I connected with it. I will be checking out more from this author in the future.

This book really reads as a memoir! That alone is eye opening and motivated me to keep reading. Very different than the other ‘self help’ books I’ve read this year.

This is a stunning book. Canadian journalist Paperny might have seemed “normal” to you. Maybe a bit anxious and driven, but not out of the ordinary. Inside, though, depression dominated her life. Paperny’s book is a look into the mind and soul of someone who is suicidally depressed that can only be described as unflinching. She walks us through her experience leading up to her suicide attempts, her treatment This earnest exploration examines depression and suicide from the outside as well as the inside. As a journalist, she really digs into the subject to present the research and how that research affects people in real life. Along the way, we get a very nuanced understanding of why someone would feel compelled to kill themselves. She also reports on how the mental health systems of both the US and Canada grapple with the problem (spoiler: not very well) and examines how many factors (race, culture, gender) can make a bad situation worse.

Considering that the weight of the topic could be, you know, a depressing bummer, this book never feels like a homework assignment. Paperny’s engaging style and deeply revealing writing invites us to approach mental illness with compassion and curiosity.

Full disclosure: I'm someone who has struggled with severe depression for most of my life. That's why I was instantly drawn to this book (the title is hilarious!) and why I would give it all the stars if I could! Paperny's honesty in coming forward with her story of depression and multiple suicide attempts has inspired me to be more honest with my own family and friends about my diagnosis. Mental illnesses are left to thrive and flourish when people stay isolated and alone in their own misery.

In this part memoir/part nonfiction book, Paperny takes the reader through her journey with a mental illness that has left her in despair for many years. She so accurately describes what it feels like to be desperate and lacking a will to live that I found myself highlighting pretty much every section in her book. Her open frankness is what is needed to lessen the stigma surrounding mental disorders, and I greatly admire her ability to share painful details of her experiences dealing with psychiatric hospitals and medical staff.

Paperny's descriptions of her own suffering would have been enough for me to love and appreciate this book on its own. But it was the in-depth research she included that will make this something I recommend to others. Despite the limitations depression has placed on her, Paperny has crafted an insightful, comprehensive look at how we as a society are failing those with mental illnesses. Because of a lack of funding, misleading drug claims, a general misunderstanding of what it means to have depression, etc., we have let down so many underserved groups of people who truly deserve help.

Living with depression can feel like you're at the bottom of this dark cave. It's impossible to crawl out and most of the time, people can't even hear you if you attempt to shout up to them. I look for anything in this world that can throw even the tiniest bit of light down to me. In this case, Paperny's book has done just that for me. It has created a space where I don't feel as alone in this maddening, frustrating condition that consumes my life. I hope Paperny is considering writing more on this topic (perhaps with focuses on other mental health disorders) because I think people need to read her important and significant words. And because I'll take whatever light I can get.

An intimate raw real look at what depression is like what suicidal thoughts can drive people to.do,The desperate search for the correct meds to restore balance enable daily functioning life to resume.The author writes so well shares with us her struggles and an overview of others mental health issues.#netgalley#the experiment.