Member Reviews

A useful and much needed manual on how to discuss with someone who disagrees with you with you. Most advice are fairly socratic and common sensical. Loved the practicality of this book. It’s a how to: if this then that. When to use interesting, how not to use but, how to disconfirm someone, how to talk to ideologist etc.Most strong disagreements are based on diverging moral or ideological world views, which may not me reconciliated by pointing to facts and statistics supporting your view.
Helps you learn how to influence people, have more civil and productive conversations, and how to be more humble and intellectually honest yourself. I would recommend to people to start revisiting this book periodically, even rereading every now and then (I plan to). We can all use a reminder that there is a better way to be. In today's political environment, this is a book that can potentially make a real difference if enough people read it (or listen) to it
My own strategy has been to only engage in discussions with on issues where people are willing to change their minds if facts and evidence should convince them (including convince myself). Discussing with ideologues, religious and fanatical people are fruitless. This book gives sound advice how to engage with such people, too.

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This was a good primer on having meaningful conversations with those who don't share your same views. I really liked the structure and background Guzman presents regarding building bridges through communication.

Overall, the tone is a bit rosy and optimistic, which I don't think is always the most realistic. It might be triggering for some to pursue conversations with others who have a problem with their core identity. This book is aimed at people who want to have those conversations and make connections.

The author is liberal, but presents left and right leaning perspectives and engagement. I did appreciate the sections on how to converse in a curious way and considering why we hold the specific beliefs we do. Structured suggestions and questions are provided, making the process more straightforward. This is a helpful guide to connection and conversation.

Thank you to the publisher for providing this ebook. All thoughts are my own.

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Monica Guzman is at the forefront of navigating charged conversations with the people that we love (and those we don't love yet). I loved the approachable nature of the concepts in this book to support people in their journey. It did not feel academic, but incredibly well researched. This would make a great book club pick for a group looking to increase their tolerance for difference and embrace the complexity of dialogue.

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It took me almost eleven months to finish this version of I Never Thought of It That Way for my own sanity and other personal reasons. But I think I needed that time and the audiobook I found on the library app to push through. Especially for nonfiction book like this which focuses on building bridges between Republicans and Democrats in the modern day US. Maybe I just have been sheltered but I have always seen both sides with being raised by a moderate who is Christian. Not the most forward thinking type of human being with their being a thirty paid year old age diffence. There were always phrases like this is how I was raised and this is the difference between you and me. It has not gotten any better in my young adult years either. I saw the similarities of of others values growing up in church. And one thing Guzmán had right was groups stick together when comes to their values and beliefs. No matter who feels ignored or misunderstood there. It's a important topic to ask questions for those who seem to want nothing to do with your lifestyle but sometimes the nuances of the issues are so hard to explain its best not to wasteGun many. At the end of this book for these reasons, it felt like was not meant for me. Because the mainstream issues and divides while important to see and discuss aren't always enough to hold up against everyone when they stuck in a certain kind of beliefs and how to do things. Because conformity and the lack of wanting change exists on both sides which everyone knows which I will also Mònica Guzmán credit for in I Never Thought of It That Way.

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While I was very intrigued by the synopsis of this book, I was ultimately underwhelmed by the content. A lot of this book just left me frustrated and annoyed, if I'm honest.

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This book is SO timely! It seems like the world gets more divisive by the moment and this book offers many suggestions on how to connect with others we don't agree with. Its message is quite hopeful!

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I have to admit that I was skeptical about this book at first. Maybe I was just close minded. I didn’t want to converse with people whose mindsets differed so much from my own that I truly believed - whether I would have admitted it or not - that they had to be bad people deep down. Or stupid. I mean, how could one support Trump and still call themselves a supporter of basic fundamental human rights?

If you are like me - angry - I would recommend this book. It’s like a toolkit for learning all over again how to approach difficult and deep topics of conversation that affect all our lives without shutting down.

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What a great communicator! The author turns to psychology, science, sociology, political science, etc. to help us learn how to see the other side again. She encourages curiosity and she leads the way. I was hopeful this book wouldn't get too political, because our inability to allow for complexities goes ways beyond that, and it didn't. She uses a wide range of examples, and shares some of her own story as well. A great read.

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This is a very important book for the times we are living in. The partisanship, the disinformation, the outright meanness of some people; it seems like we cannot catch a break and just have civil conversations and discussions. How are we to ever come to a thoughtful, well thought out and reasoned opinion?
Fortunately, the author recognizes the problem and explains how to navigate the stormy waters and become a more reasonable, informed citizen.
Perhaps if I bought this for all of my relatives, and could get them to read it, our next family gathering would be less contentious and argumentative, like they were 20 years ago!

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This book deals with the great political divide over President Trump and the Democratic party. Ms. Guzman is Hispanic and not a Trump fan. Her parents voted for him in both elections. She is an active member of the national cross-partisan depolarization organization Braver Angels, and takes you to the real front lines of a crisis that threatens to grind America to a halt—broken conversations among confounded people. She interviewed hundreds and came up with these helpful conclusions.
In these pages, you'll learn:

• How to ask what you really want to know (even if you're afraid to)
• How to grow smarter from even the most tense interactions, online or off
• How to cross boundaries and find common ground—with anyone
The title is very appropriate. I received a copy of this ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review.

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Excellent. While I'm sure the author would not claim to have all of the answers, she does a great job of presenting approaches and can be very effective. I often felt like I was listening to someone sitting across from me and giving me insights that most people don't have. Relatable and interesting stuff. Recommended.

I really appreciate the free review copy!!

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I really enjoyed this book and I think it would benefit a lot of people. I really recommend this to everyone. It opened my mind up and I found it really inspiring.

Thank you to NetGalley for the arc.

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This is my new favorite book, honestly. It deals directly with your difficult relatives who have strongly different political opinions than you do. It gives practical, useful advice on how to have conversations with them and how to find common ground. It made me finally understand my crazy uncle and feel more compassion for him. I'd definitely recommend this to anyone wanting to more hopeful about those on the other side of the political aisle.

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I wouldn’t consider myself overly political, but I can recognize that our country is divided right now. Certain conversations are either avoided entirely or turn into an argument because many struggle to temporarily push their beliefs to the side and consider other perspectives.

In I Never Thought of It That Way, Guzmán puts her own beliefs on the backburner to teach readers how to effectively communicate with each other despite opposing views. She makes her opinions known, but she doesn’t shove them in your face. This book asks a lot of important questions and teaches readers how to navigate difficult conversations. Throughout the book, she shares her own experiences and stories to help us see her ideas play out in real life. While reading, I found myself saying, “Wow, I never thought of it that way,” which I think was kind of the point.

This book was easy to read and well organized, but if you choose to pick it up, make sure you give yourself the time to read it. Despite being short in length, this book is best read closely and slowly. I read an electronic ARC copy and highlighted passages on my computer, but I know if I had a psychical copy of the book, I would have had it marked up everywhere.

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This book is helpful for the society we’re in – especially where people are divided by misinformation. Monica Guzman uses her own family as an example to start this book, and she proposed a set of tools for people from different sides to talk to each other. While the techniques and tips might not be working all for everyone, the efforts of trying already show the differences. The society is divided, and this book helps us to rethink the reasons behind with practical advices. Additionally, the visuals are helpful to understand the content. Overall, I would recommend this lovely book to my parents and friends so that we can have a better conversation instead of a fight.

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Quick Take: Our beliefs and political views are creating a “dangerous divide” between us as citizens and communities - it’s time to close the gap.

I Never Thought of it That Way by Mónica Guzmán is THE book we need right now. More than ever, we are divided by politics, religion, and ideology. In this book, Guzmán describes why this happens and how we can overcome it. I was drawn to this book because I have this issue in my own life. My dad and I have very different political views and sometimes it’s hard to find common ground. I was hoping this book would provide some answers for me.

It is human nature to want to be around people that are like us, make us feel good and support what we believe (this is called Sorting). Being around people who oppose us or disagree with things we think are important is uncomfortable (Othering). Over time, this behavior continually reinforces that what WE believe is RIGHT and what THEY believe is WRONG (Siloing). IN addition, social media has made this problem worse by automatically showing us things we agree with/want to see.

The problem is, when we start “othering” people “…often, othering makes monsters of good people. It makes hate easier and reasonableness harder.” In addition, “once we have an US, we’re pretty hardwired to find THEM - and we suspend our goodwill and even our good sense in the process.”

So what’s the solution? First, we need to start spending time with people that have different opinions from us. Be curious, ask questions, and learn to listen. Realize there ARE things you don’t know or understand.

Even though I appreciated the practical solutions she offered in this book, I appreciated being reminded that I do this too even more. I needed this reminder that I stick within my comfortable bounds and tend to “other” people who don’t agree with me. I am going to be more mindful of this and hopefully do a better job reaching out to others with different views.

This book is written in an easy conversational style. I also appreciated that Guzman is clear and concise without giving up the complexity. It is written in neutral language (i.e. using both democrats and republicans in examples.)

I would recommend this book to everyone, especially people who can relate to feeling like our community is being split in two based on ideologies.

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This book is so timely. As a whole, we often have very strong opinions on topics such as politics. Because of these strong opinions, it is often hard to communicate with others. How do you effectively communicate without harming the relationship? What are some tips for respectful ways to handle these conversations. Guzman offers practical advice for these conversations. Guzman offers excellent tips & techniques that will restore civility. This country is so divided right now & we need more books like this one.

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I have some pretty strong political opinions, and there are some people I'll love forever who hold strictly to opposing political beliefs... Yikes!

Author Monica Guzman begins this book with a similar quandary- she is a liberal and her beloved parents voted for Donald Trump... twice. While she begins this book with her reasons for wanting to stay in relationship and conversation with her parents and other fellow Americans, the bulk of this book contains proven, practical advice for holding these hard conversations.

While the author is definitely left leaning, she takes care to evenly divide her examples between conservatives and liberals. I think any open minded, curious person will find this book supportive and beneficial.

I received an Arc of this book in exchange for my honest opinion. My thanks to the author, publisher, and #NetGalley for the opportunity.
#INeverThoughtOfItThatWay

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I am absolutely stunned by this book. Monica Guzman uses her lived experience to write the How-To book of the moment.
If you live in the current climate of division and disinformation, I think it's really important to read this book. This book will provide you with the tools you need to stay curious in this world and to have productive conversations with others.
I don't think it's an exaggeration to suggest that reading this book and applying the steps within will help people save the valuable relationships in their lives. When you understand the systems in place that help divide us and keep us divided, you start to understand how to combat those systems.
Since I started reading this book I have caught myself many times thinking: What am I missing? and looking for my I Never Thought of it That Way Moments. From simple things like a billboard on the side of the road, to bigger things like divisive political conversations with my family members.
I think Monica Guzman saw a need in the current zeitgeist and wrote the book to fill it. I will always appreciate the honesty and gentleness that she brought to her writing.

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This book is almost total nonsense. Save your money sand skip this sorry excuse for a book. Down deep this book is really just a bad example of a self-help book, but no one will care what SOS stands for in the system that Ms. Guzman describes.

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