Ace Voices is very dry. With the APA-style of interview quotations, this read like a psychology paper. Not for me (despite the fact that I am ace).

I think books like this are so important to have out there. Giving more exposure to different kinds of people, especially something like asexuality that is very underrepresented, is so vital, and the only way to help people understand it better.

I struggle to rate non fiction and this is particularly hard. I love books about being ace but parts of this weren't for me. I did enjoy it, but not sure I will go back to it like I will Ace or I am Ace.

A lot of good information in here! I did find this a bit wordy and repetitive but at the heart of this nonfiction work there’s a lot of good information for those who are Ace themselves and trying to understand or (like me) a friend wanting to know more and see from another’s point of view how they move and exist in the world.

4 stars
⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I really liked this book. It taught me a lot of what being ace looks like and explained terms I'd seen recently but wasn't sure about (and even some I'd never seen). I'm still really confused about what the romantic part of relationships means tho, lol

Ace Voices shares the collected interviews of forty people about their a-spec/aroace identities and experiences. Each segment of the book organizes moments from these interviews around central topics and includes discussion questions for self-reflection. It feels like a book for the community, including those who might not yet be sure if it suits them. Its purpose isn't to explain aroace identities to others, though anyone could learn something from what it has to say.

Even as someone who's been aware of the ace spectrum and my connection to it for a while, there were some good takeaways that taught me something new or asked me to consider something on a deeper level. In some sections, it gave me words for a phenomenon I've felt but couldn't have described myself. I think it's the power of many voices to provide those kinds of opportunities even if you feel well-informed.

One such topic was the idea of "gold star aces" as a consequence of visibility campaigns led by the ace community. They highlighted aces who fit other ideals like having romantic partners to make an ace identity seem more palatable/less scary to other people. While the goal was to show how reality differs from the robotic stereotype of an a-spec identity, it created this ideal that actually alienates many who could be a part of the community. It makes it hard for people with intersections that are actively not represented (like BIPOC people or those with disabilities or men) to relate to what being ace looks like according to this narrow view. It also flattens the variety of the asexual spectrum and ignores aromantic ones entirely.

And just as the ace community isn't appropriately welcoming enough to all who ought to be included, the broader queer community isn't always structured with a-spec people in mind. For example, the LQBTQIA+ community has long had good reason to embrace sex positivity, but in some spaces, that can translate to a feeling of compulsory sexuality. A feminist space or a queer one that might be otherwise affirming can become alienating when conversations assume a comfortability with experiencing and discussing physical intimacy that not all a-spec people enjoy (or only do in some specific scenarios).

I appreciate the author's goal of not making the book all about what a-spec people aren't or don't want. For example, it's not all about not wanting sex or romance. It's about the relationships aces value, especially friendships. This can be a source of great joy but also of struggle in a society where friendships are at the bottom of the relationship hierarchy. Friends might enter into romantic/sexual relationships and no longer have time or space for their platonic connections. Friendship is associated with adolescence-- something to discard when your all-consuming "adult" relationship comes along. It's a further layer that infantilizes the ace experience along with the judgments for not taking up those so-called adult relationships for themselves. The author points out that the hierarchy is unfortunate for everyone because friendships lack all the social trappings and limitations that come with romantic ones. It's a freeing space for both a-spec and allo people when done right.

I also think the book does a great job of distinctly including both asexual and aromantic experiences, especially because aromantic ones are generally harder for people to understand and less visible than asexual identities. Romance is ubiquitous and taken for granted in society, yet we can't clearly delineate its boundaries. It's important to consider what romantic attraction means as its own thing separate from something sexual or platonic. It's an individual decision, and the book explores how a-spec people are kind of at the forefront of trying to figure it out. Is it just a feeling? How do you identify it? When and how does it matter? I learned the phrase "queerplatonic" for relationships beyond the romantic/platonic binary. This could be a situation where people take on roles as life partners without ascribing a romantic lens to it, and yet it's not the same as other friendships. The author also explores poly relationships to show how not just a-spec people but anyone could find freedom beyond strict, monogamous relationship expectations. Both queerplatonic and poly arrangements can give a-spec people a more open space to communicate and get what they need.

This is an interesting read, and I envision myself returning to it in the future to spend more time reflecting on the discussion questions. Thanks to Jessica Kingsley for my copy to read and review!

5/5
As someone who is proudly ace myself, it's great to read other people's experiences of being Ace. It really shows we are not just a monolith, and that we come from all walks of life.
I will definitely be recommending this to anyone who wants to understand the ace identity more.

This book is, in so many ways, the representation that we need. I'm so glad I read it, and will recommend it to other people.

There's so much information in Eris Young’s Ace Voices, it's taken me quite a while to work my way through and digest it all.

I was expecting the author’s story about their personal journey, and Ace Voices is not that. Young’s book is a combination of interviews and the results of surveys they had conducted. It is mostly expository, and I found the snippets from the interviews to be most interesting and enlightening.

The subject matter is fascinating because it is constantly changing, and I’ll say bravo to Young for getting this book out there. By continuing the conversation, and shedding some light on the multitude of the continually evolving definitions of the human experience.

This is not what I originally anticipated. I could hardly connect to this as it felt more like an assignment someone wrote for their Research class with all the survey results? I feel bad but the title was quite misleading because I thought I would be reading about the author’s experience

This wasn’t quite what I was expecting. I went in expecting a range of people discussing their experiences being a-spec, and it wasn’t that. I enjoyed a lot of the points the author made, I didn’t have a bad time, I was just expecting something different.

TW// mentions of sexual assault, mentions of sexual abuse, mentions of genocide, mentions of slavery, mentions of rape, aphobia, mentions of depression, mentions of PTSD, brief mention of pedophilia, mentions of the COVID pandemic, brief mention of cheating, mention of divorce, mentions of anxiety, mentions of racism, mentions of sexism, brief mention of homophobia, mention of transphobia

It kills me to have to give a book about asexuality such a low star rating. I’m asexual, so I understand how important books about asexuality can be. However, I found that Ace Voices didn’t work for me at all and I unfortunately hated every moment I spent with this book.

The biggest issue is that this book reads like an academic essay or a scientific paper. It doesn’t even read like a well-written one. It relies heavily on the results of surveys, but the inclusion of these survey results was very disjointed. There would be strings of one quote following another in a way that was jarring and made me feel disconnected from the book. The choice to include survey results from specific people also didn’t work well because I felt that using initials like “RR” instead of a person’s name made these people’s stories feel like they were being reported for a science study as opposed to sharing what was supposed to be intimate details about real people’s lives. Everything about the inclusion of survey results made this book extremely boring and honestly slightly inaccessible. If you’re not super familiar with reading complex academic articles, you may struggle with understanding and getting through this book.

I think there was three ways that this book could’ve worked better:
1. If the author chose to write about their personal experience with asexuality. It would read more like a memoir, but I think it would be meaningful for Eris Young’s unique life experiences to be shared in detail with readers.
2. If each chapter had been an essay written by the survey respondents. Honestly me (and a lot of other people) assumed that that’s what this book would be. If the survey respondents were given time to share their experiences with asexuality without the disjointed quote formatting, it would’ve been a lot more powerful and impactful.
3. If this book had stuck solely to facts with no personal experiences so people could learn ace and aro terms. This was not what Eris was intending with their book though since they constantly question the need for labels and strict defintions in their book.

It’s also worth noting that this book is called “Ace Voices” yet it discusses aromanticism in detail. The title is very misleading because asexuality and aromanticism are two very different identities. “Aro and Ace Voices” or “Results from Aro and Ace Surveys” would be more fitting titles for this book.

There are a couple good things this book did, but these elements were not huge parts of the book. There was a good discussion of how asexuality intersects with race (though this had less to do with what the author wrote and more to do with the different people that Eris was quoting). There was also really useful comprehensive trigger warnings at the start of the book and before any chapters that contained triggering content. More books need to use clear trigger warnings so that readers are prepared for what they’re about to read.

I feel bad for being so harsh on this book, but I feel that a lot of people will struggle to finish this book so readers should opt instead to read an asexuality book that is easier to get through. I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life by Cody Daigle-Orians is my current go-to recommendation. It teaches asexuality for people who want to learn more about it and it also gives advice to asexual people who are learning to navigate the dating world whilst being asexual.

How do we experience attraction?
What does love mean to us?
When did you realise you were ace?
These are such brilliant aspects of an alternative and positive approach to loving in a different way from societal norms.
Evocative, emotional and real.
Worth your time.

A refreshing collection in which individuals voice their personal experiences with the umbrella of asexuality, whether it be demisexual, greysexual, or some similar identity. Many asexual people have experienced isolation and discomfort because there were relatively few, if any, others like them. Having a collection, like this one, allows readers of a like mind to truly connect and feel a sense of community.

This book came off as very academic in nature. There were points in it where I felt like I was reading an essay or term paper. The writing also came off as very choppy in some parts. The words I kept repeating in my head were “why do I feel like I’m reading a dissertation?”
I’m sure it is the right read for someone, but I do not think I am that person.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for giving me access to the free advanced digital copy of this book.

Interesting, relevant and educational. It’s nice to see books being made abt this identity and as an ace person I would definitely recommend this one.

I found this to be a very insightful and mindful examination of what it means to be ACE. I loved the approaches it took and how it had input from people from across the Ace Spectrum.

Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC. All opinions in this review are my own.

We ended up doing a whole shelf around this title for pride month which sold very well - much better than we'd expected. I even bought a copy to donate to our local ace library project. It's very well done, comprehensive, thoughtful, intersectional, and my personal favourite aspect is just how many ace people were interviewed and featured.

I feel so torn about how to rate this!! I was really excited to read this book but found it dry and kind of hard to get into. The author reported on their own research, and so it read more as an unusually interesting research paper than as a nonfiction book. The author included lots of quotes, which I loved, and also ended every chapter with discussion questions. I'm not 100% sure what the intended audience was - I would have preferred if this was more focused on the participants and included longer interviews with them or was more of a facts-only book.

I wanted to love this, but didn't totally. I would recommend Angela Chen's book Ace for someone looking for more of an academic read and Rebecca Burgess's book How to Be Ace for a more informal read. This book seemed to be trying to be both and never really achieved either.

All in all - this is an important topic and I learned a lot. I just think the execution could have used some refinement and clarification on audience.

Thanks so much to Eris Young and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for this ARC through NetGalley! Ace Voices is available now!