I did not finish this one, the writing style didn't work for me. It very very slow and wordy. Unfortunately this wasn't for me.

Ace Voices by Eris Young
Pub date: December 21, 2022

E-ARC was provided by Jessica Kingsley Publishers via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Ace Voices by Eris Young reads a bit like an essay but in first person. I found the beginning a bit more difficult to get through as I got used to the style. By the end, I was flying through especially when there were more anecdotes and I really started to think about myself in relation to what was being said about relationships.

I liked the many quotes and stories from members of the community as the sections explored more aspects of the ace and aro communities than I ever knew about. I almost wish there were even more community stories. I also liked the personal touch the author put in this book to make it feel less like a research paper. I feel like I learned a lot.

While reading, certain statements and stories struck me as part of my own experience. I have to thank this book for making me realize I am grey-ace.

As a newbie in the community, I found this book very helpful and I liked that it reflected some of the diversity and intersectionality within the ace and aro communities. I would absolutely recommend this if you want to delve more into the ace and aro communities.

Additionally, the author is very transparent with content warnings even as you read. I loved the resources at the end.

When I first read the title of this book and then saw the subtitle, my reaction honestly wasn't that positive. A book called "Ace Voices" that bundled 'aromantic' people under the ace umbrella was bound to be problematic reading for me, an allo-aro. So I was pleasantly surprised when Eris Young addressed how a lot of early ace activism inadvertently contributed to (and stills contributes to) the erasure of certain groups including aromantic allosexual people, early on.

Aromantic representation is extremely minimal and what spaces exist for aromantics are usually a bi-product of ace spaces so it was refreshing and validating to see allo-aros explicitly considered and included for a change.


Young encourages the reader to consider their preconceived notions regarding sex and romance and the societal narratives that exist around both.

By including their own personal experiences, and those of members of the A-spec and Aromantic communities, Young has produced a queer own voice text that is inclusive and celebratory as well as informative and probing.

I especially appreciated the inclusion of discussion questions at the end of each chapter.

Thank you to NetGalley, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, and Eris Young for giving me a free digital copy of this book to read in exchange for an honest review.

This was an informative book. From the title I was expecting more an anthology of essays by ace individuals rather than the format here, which was the author’s general experience highlighted by insights from various ace individuals incorporated into the text. This was fine and worked, just wasn’t what I had expected. The insights were embedded in narrative that was explanatory and informative, well-documented and with references. Overall a lot of information and the personal experiences added to the personal nature of this book.
The formatting of this review copy was challenging at times but I am sure the final print and e-copies will be a smoother reading experience.
A worthwhile read for anyone wanting to learn more about the ace experience and a wealth of information for those questioning or exploring the idea that they are ace themselves.

My thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this digital ARC.

As someone who recently came out into the Ace community, I was dying to know more about it and when I saw this on NetGalley, I was super excited! So, thank you Jessica Kingsley Publishers for allowing me to read it.

First, I absolutely loved that the author not only included their own story but included the stories of others. It really brought home the points the author was trying to make. There were experiences I didn't recognize but there were also others that experienced what I did. I liked getting to see there were others like me but also having to learn more about the rest of the spectrum. I also really liked that the author brought up intersectionality.

I will say this does feel a bit like a heavy read at times. Especially, with all of the statistics. Not that they're bad but I would have liked to have seen some graphs or pie charts to just have some visuals to focus on. That way it could break up the heavy text.

Overall, I would definitely recommend this for those who are questioning, just came out, or want to learn more about Ace individuals. I know my friends would read this book so they can better understand me and be supportive.

Very difficult to read due to the formatting on this one. I appreciated that the author interviewed and included a wide range of ace folks in order to create this book.

I've been actively trying to read more about a-spec identities lately, as I feel like ace and a-spec people are generally very underrepresented and poorly understood. This one immediately jumped out as the one to read, promising, as it did, a wealth of a-spec experiences.

The good:
- this is a clear and concise book. At no point was anything confusing; all arguments and facts are conveyed with excellent clarity. No term is used without being first explained. Even the terms 'ace' and 'a-spec', which feature on the front cover, are explained in great detail for the less initiated reader. I found that really rather helpful, as I've always used ace and a-spec interchangeably, but now know that there are in fact subtle differences (ace referring solely to the spectrum of asexuality, and a-spec encompassing aromanticism as well) which I'm glad to have been informed about.
- the sheer amount of research that was put into this book is very impressive. Eris Young has an academic background, and they use it to excellent advantage here. Everything is backed up with citations, and the structure of the book is flawless. It's easy to navigate, the chapters are consistent, it's clearly written, and there's a wealth of sources at the back, including a list of media with ace representation. I really can't stress enough what a well considered book this is.
- the depth of ace and a-spec experience represented is, again, impressive. There are voices here from people across the spectrum, from cisgender heteroromantic asexual people to 'gender punk' quoiromantics, and I really appreciated that. It felt very authentic and hammered home the point that the stereotypical image of an ace person is just that: a stereotype. There's as much variety amongst a-spec people as any other community.
- the fact that it's written by an a-spec person makes it a much more sensitive and well informed book. I don't think an allo person would have written a book even half as thoughtful and nuanced as this.

The bad:
- I feel that the title is a little misleading. A book titled 'Ace Voices', in my opinion, suggests an anthology of essays by ace and a-spec people, which this isn't. It's a very interesting and well researched book, but it isn't entirely what the title implies.
- due to the author's decision to use acronyms for the survey respondents (e.g. SS, LH), some readers may find it difficult working out who was speaking and when, as these acronyms often got subsumed by the text. I also found that a couple of people were quoted much more frequently than others, which suggested a bit of a bias on the part of the author as to whose responses were considered worthy of lengthy inclusion.
- there are a few blanket statements in here which I think needed more nuance; there are assertions, for example, that ace people are 'never' listened to by their doctors when they say that they can't be pregnant. I have to say that I don't think this is necessarily an ace issue. I think anyone who presents as female or is AFAB can relate to this. There was also a lot of emphasis on polyamory at the end and it felt very much like this was presented as being a real pro to being ace (i.e. if you're not romantically or sexually attached, then you're more free to engage in polyamory as you're not as likely to get jealous) which doesn't really work when you consider that not all ace people are poly, and that monogamy isn't just the purview of the envious.

The ugly:
- not much! I did find it a bit problematic that, when asked for some of the best things about being ace, one of the survey respondents replied that they felt much healthier for 'not being exposed to STDs'. That seemed like a bizarrely judgemental comment about allo people. However, this was a genuine survey response to the question, and I suppose it can't be helped that this respondent has unpleasant views about people who have sex.

Overall, a very useful book for people who are curious about asexuality and aromanticism, and a very validating book for those who identify with those terms. I'm excited about the influx of books about a-spec identities coming out soon - JKP has a few others slated for release - and I hope it heralds an age of greater understanding.

“It’s okay to be different. Sometimes it might be hard, sometimes you might feel like you’re missing out on this wonderful thing that everyone else gets, but you aren’t. Being ace is its own wonderful thing.” - LM

I’m learning more and more that I’m not alone when it comes to questioning my place on the ace spectrum (let alone queer community). When representation is limited, sometimes you hear about someone’s experience being ace and if it doesn’t match your own that can be confusing. It’s why I was excited about this book, because it’s a collection of multiple different experiences of what it means to be ace.

“It’s okay to not come out. It’s okay to never come out. You do not owe anyone an explanation and it’s not your fault that they assume you’re not-queer. You are not any less queer by keeping it to yourself and staying safe.” - AB

For the most part, I really got that. I learned about some of the history of ace people and ace representation, and I saw ace experiences that matched my own and some that are different. There were some instances where I felt generalizations about ace people were still being made, even as the author was dispelling generalizations used to make asexuality more… understandable(?)/palatable(?) to allosexuals. Or there were times I felt it was directed towards younger aces, social aces, aces who have a close queer community. While the idea was left behind after awhile, to me it seemed to be implied that there is a natural progression that goes from finding out about asexuality on the internet/tumblr/message boards when you’re young because that’s what the author did, before maturing and transitioning to finding your in-real-life queer community that is full of other aces and people who really get you. At first I felt like I was missing out on something essential to being part of the queer community before I reminded myself that this isn’t realistic, possible, or necessary for everyone.

But while the author’s particular experiences are quite different from my own, it was valuable to read their story and then to hear from the other ace-spec people that they interviewed in depth. The most interesting parts for me were the open-ended questions asking them about what they would like to share with ace-spec people about certain topics or just general advice, because we got to see the variety in responses and therefore the variety of ways one can be ace. Complimented by the great resource section at the back (books, TV shows, podcasts, etc.), I think this is a great resource for people who are asexual, aromatic, or questioning.

“Trust yourself, you really are ace.” - DE

Four and a half stars. This was informative, insightful, and just refreshing. It outlined every possible aspect of the a-spec identity that I could imagine wanting to know about. Other reviews seem to have found it rather academic, even dry, but I thought Ace Voices was light and easy to read. I did think the "voices" of the various a-spec people who contributed to the book were limited in number, and that made it hard to take some of the stats for the sample seriously, but that wasn't the fault of the author or the concept of the book.

I thought this book was interesting, but a lot dryer than I wanted. Eris Young does a great job pulling apart the complexities of asexuality and its relation to the LGBTQ community, to gender, to family, to sex, and much more. It gives a great overview of the community and the diversity of viewpoints within it. But the book's method makes it a little more academic rather than a comfortable hang with ace friends. Young collects interviews they did with members of the community and organizes them into various topics, adding in mentions of academic studies, popular culture, and societal perceptions to give a wide overview of each topic the book tackles. As a member of the asexual community myself, the book did a great job of making me feel less alone and even if members of the ace community vary in the specifics, there are a lot of commonalities among us. I do recommend this book to members of the asexual community who want to learn more about themselves, or allosexuals who want to get insight on what it means to be asexual in the modern era.

Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.

Ace Voices by Eris Young is a beautifully rendered account of what it means to be and live as an a-spec individual today. Peppered throughout with personal anecdotes and thought-provoking discussion questions, Ace Voices gives readers plenty to learn.

Really enjoying the upcoming influx (small though it may be!) of ace rep in nonfiction. A recommended purchase for general nonfiction collections.

I'm having such a hard time rating this book. When I requested the ARC, I thought it would be lots of different people telling stories about what being A-spec means to them. I thought, like the title suggests, that there would be a lot of different voices featured. I guess I thought it would be different chapters featuring different people's stories. Instead it's the author using quotes from various people to sort of back up the various points they are making. Which is fine, I just never really got a sense of what any of those other people were like, I didn't feel like I knew their stories.

The writing style here wasn't a great match for me as a reader. It felt very academic in tone and really dragged for me in parts. I found the discussion questions (and occasional "homework") at the end of each chapter sort of odd? I'm just not sure who the book is aimed at in terms of the tone and format. I do think the author offered up a lot of their own experiences, which I appreciate, but it still didn't have the personal tone that I think I might have connected with better? I just so wanted it to be more in depth about a range of people's experiences. And the short quotes interspersed throughout didn't do that for me.

There were also some blanket statements that caught me a bit off guard. When discussing the difficulties of being asexual and navigating dealing with medical professionals, the author writes "Never is it accepted that we might just be the way we are." And while I completely see that medical professionals are very often not helpful and indeed harmful when it comes to understanding asexuality, saying it is never accepted feels untrue and depressing AF. Later on, the author says "while people who don't feel sexual attraction or who don't fall in romantic love are perceived/seen/framed as fundamentally "other", inherently different from "normal people", I don't think that's true." I appreciate the sentiment, I don't think it's true either, but this had me feeling like they are ALWAYS perceived that way, which I also don't think is true or a helpful way to frame it. The word SOMETIMES could do some important work there. And maybe I'm being unfair and picky, but I do think that while there were definitely ways this book made me feel much less alone in some things, and gave me some really important ideas to mull over, in some ways it made me feel even more like being asexual is othering. Maybe that's just because I'm still new to learning about all of this and I avoid people whenever possible, especially online, so most of what I know about being A-spec is from books, which maybe have given me a more positive (and unrealistic) view of things than I'd have if I were engaging with other people on the topic more.

All of this is still new to me, I'm still figuring out what being A-spec means and still trying to navigate whether it's a label that even applies to me. Sometimes I read about an A-spec experience and think holy shit I'm not the only person in the world who feels like this and other times I read something and think maybe I don't actually fit under that umbrella at all. Maybe I don't qualify, maybe this is another space that I don't quite fit in. But whether it's something that applies to me or not, it is something I very much want to explore and learn more about.

Those qualms aside, there was a lot of helpful information here. I absolutely learned some new things and gained some new perspectives. There were plenty of sections I highlighted to read when I need a reminder that I'm not alone in how I feel or that there's nothing wrong with being the way I am. There was a quote from an ace woman in 1981 about the way asexuality "is seen as a negativity, a lack" and that's one of the things that was explored in the book, but that I would have loved to see explored in more depth from a range of voices. I guess because for me personally it's one of the things I really struggle with. It so often feels like I'm not built the way other people are, there are so many things other people enjoy that I just don't. It can make me feel like I'm lacking this ability for enjoyment that other people have and it's so hard to get past feeling like I wish I were different and get to a place where I'm accepting of who I actually am.

I did really love the chapter titled "Joy" and did feel like the book tried very hard to be positive while also being realistic about challenges. I also found the list of resources at the end helpful, though the fictional media section felt chaotic and needed to be organized better. Overall I'd say this book is important and useful, it just didn't have the tone or style that I'd hoped and because the writing style wasn't really my jam I found it hard to connect with a lot of the time.

I began this book with only a general idea of the asexual spectrum and was hoping to learn more, and I definitely did. The personal stories were the highlight of this book and helped me to broaden my understanding of the world. I did find the first chapter or so difficult to understand because the definitions of the related terms didn't come until a few chapters later. For me, a newbie, I had to spend a lot of time looking up terms to make it through until we got to the definition portion of the book. This is one of the downfalls of ebooks is the inability to flip through to find those definitions easily, but that is not the fault of the book. This book is important representation of a lesser discussed area of sexuality. I hope it finds its way to two audiences: those on the asexual spectrum and those who want/need to understand/support the wide diversity of sexuality.

I think this book is great, and a great tool for those either already on the ace spectrum or learning about their sexuality. This book also helped me realize that not only am I demi and gray sexual, but I’m also demiromantic.
I like that this book helped me to see into many other’s perspectives of the orientation, and even relate to some of the experiences. I definitely feel less shame of my orientation after finishing the book.

I loved this book! It was a very helpful, validating and interesting read as an a-spec person. Well done to the author!

I was approved this arc while reading in bed. I SHOULD have had my phone on ‘do not disturb’ but eh, you know how it is these days. Usually I load arcs onto my eReader when I’m ready to put my arc thinking hat on. But of course, I couldn't wait. I downloaded this as quick as an ace changing the channel during a sex scene and read the introduction.

Wow. It hit hard. I’ve never been more ready to absorb an entire book in my life. For someone who doesn’t read much, if any, non-fiction, I was ready to call in sick to work and binge the shit out of this impending masterpiece. BUT. Because of how hard it hit me ‘in the feels’, I felt it was appropriate and kinder to myself to gradually take in Ace Voices gently.

The author makes sure to tell you what to expect within the first few pages. I felt seen, I got to learn from other a-spec people and I felt less and less like an imposter to my own identity. It’s intersectional, it’s own voices, and it’s written for us (the dedication even says so…)

Thank you so much NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for a digital copy of this arc.

Ace Voices by Eris Young is a book about the a-spectrum.
I loved this book. It was very understanding of different sexualities, whether it is asexual, aromantic, greysexual, etc. It was also very informative, and easy to read. For example, it gives several definitions of different things, such as being quoisexual, in an understanding manner. Young also gets their information from interviews with people, which is very nice.
I would recommend this book to anyone who is on the spectrum or would like to learn more about it. There is, however, some trigger warnings so read those before reading the book.

As someone on the Asexual Spectrum, I really enjoyed this book. It is informative about the Ace/Aro Spectrum identities. Statistics are brought up a lot and I really loved that. So if you aren’t a person who enjoys looking at stats, this probably won’t be a great read for you. I liked that there were personal reflections/insights. Overall, this was great and very informational for anyone on the spectrum or just wanting to learn more about these identities.

Thank you NetGalley and publishers for the eARC. These thoughts and opinions are my own.

Did not finish. I found the writing to be sterile and informative rather than invoking a sense of emotion regarding such a sensitive topic. The wordiness without experiential anecdotes was not helpful to me. Definitely geared toward a Millenial and younger audience exploring their personalities beyond the gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender identifiiers.