Ace Voices is an important book by writer Eris Young that highlights the need for diversity of thought regarding different sexualities of individuals concerned. This book explains this phenomen well, The book is written well and has useful links and recommended reading for individuals who would like to learn more about Ace.

I am not really one for non-fiction titles, but I think it's important to read opinions and histories of the LGBTQIA+ community as someone who considers themselves a part of it and I'm really glad I read this!

The way the author describes their own personal relationship with gender and sexuality really resonated with me and I was comforted to read about. Even though what I consider my gender/sexuality is still a giant question mark, to know that it was relatable to so many people makes a difference. I also found it fascinating how many a-spec people tend to label themselves as bi/pan to avoid having to explain the intricacies of their relationship with their queer identity. I have already started recommending friends to read this once it's published!

I don't have a lot of standing on this front as a white person (but I also appreciated that in the discussion of religion Judaism was discussed!), but I think that Young did an excellent job touching on the subject of asexuality/aromanticism as seen through Western eyes and also how it plays into other cultures. Like many aspects of the queer community, it is often looked at through a white Western gaze and excludes POC experiences.

Part of what I think helped with the way Young made sure to not only include the white perspective was by referencing other works or talks done by queer POC, like Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen. This has been on my reading list for a while now and it was referenced enough in this book that I will definitely make reading it more of a priority.

Thank you to NetGalley for making this available in exchange for an honest review!

In general, books from Jessica Kingsley Publishers have proven to be solid resources for my students, most of whom are part of the LGBTQIAP+ spectrum. ACE VOICES is another such book I'll add as a student resource. Like other reviewers have mentioned, I expected (hoped for) essays written by multiple authors. That particular book is still needed, but ACE VOICES does offer very helpful research and Eris Young's personal story, both of which my students will appreciate. The content does seem like it's written for an audience who has at least some experience with or understanding of the ace spectrum, so I am unlikely to recommend it as a first book for adults who may ask for resources to better understand a young(er) person in their life. Overall, this is a well-written book that will help many people feel seen, heard, and understood.

As someone who identifies as asexual, I am happy there are more books out there these days. Visibility!

However, this one is a difficult one to review. I was expecting essays from different people talking about their experiences. Instead, it reads like a qualitative research as there are lots of quotes from interviews carried out but not personal stories per se.

There are also questions at the end of every chapter abd I am not sure what audience is this book for? It seems is for asexual people as well as allos but it is not clear?

The layout of this book didn't help either with making it a smooth experience, as I struggled to get throught it.

It is an important book, just not what I expected.

I really enjoyed this book.
Ace Voices is an important read for both allies and a-spec people, though I think prior knowledge (not necessarily deep knowledge) of the subject is needed to fully grasp the information in this book; which makes it less accessible. A few terms were, at times, completely new to me and not explained thoroughly whereas sometimes other "common" terms were used and were deeply explained (sometimes full sections dedicated to them.)
Every section ends with a few discussion questions and this was something that I really appreciated!
I loved how transparent the author was from the beginning, they worked on the feedback they received from the first pitch and proceeded to the next step after a deep introspection and after preconceived ideas and misconceptions were adressed.
Some themes came back more often than others, in the former there would be invisibility and intersectionality.
A little bit of a-spec history was offered and it was very interesting.
I was especially intrigued and excited by the section "Disability, mental illness and neurodivergence" but ended up really disappointed, there were no statistics either from published research or from the author's survey done prior to writing this book. Also, for some reason this section did not have any discussion questions at the end and I would have liked exploring new avenues.

All in all, this book was great and made me meditate on my own identity. The lack of accessibility is the only reason why I am rating this book 4 stars instead of 5.

Thank you to Eris Young, NetGalley, and the publisher for this ARC.

Each chapter in this book was engaging, well-written, informative, and presented to the reader in a way that made it easy to sink into this book and learn. I loved the discussion questions at the end of every chapter, they were really interesting and definitely designed to get the reader thinking about the concepts in the chapter. I love how the author specifically called out non-western a-spec experiences and cultures instead of just focusing on the western ones. I also really really enjoyed the chapter on intersectionality and how the author brought up the legacy of colonization and its impact on cultural norms (outside of whiteness) towards sex.

I could honestly call out things I loved in each chapter of this book, but that may make the review too long. Suffice it to say, even if you aren’t ace or LGBTQIA+ identifying, this book is something I think everyone should read and can take important knowledge from. Please read this book.

I stopped reading this book at 25% because it was not the book I was looking for. This is not the fault of the author.. I wanted a book with testimonials and more of an introduction to asexuality so I could understand it better. This book did not feel very accessible for the general public to me. It read much like a Master's thesis rather than a text meant to inform someone about an unfamiliar topic. Was it full of rich information? Absolutely. Was it hard to read? As someone that doesn't typically read non-fiction - yep.

Ace voices is an informative and important book for ace people and allies.

This book explains some ace identities and experiences with little snippets of others views added in for extra views and experiences. Not every ace person is the same and it is so important to have other people's words in the book.

I enjoyed this book, and I learnt some stuff that j didn't know. I came out as Asexual a couple of years ago and since then I've been slowly learning more and surrounding myself with other ace people. This book also talks about split attraction (sexual attraction being asexual and romantic attraction being something else such as bi, gay, lesbian, straight etc) which is really interesting to see how others identify. I love that different people with a variety of gender identities were involved too. This gives so many different views and is a great opportunity to learn new terms and how different identities overlap and interlock.

I found this book to be strange amalgamation of terms and concepts that require pre-knowledge that have little to no explanation, and other terms and concepts that are much simpler that are over-explained. Perhaps it is simply because I have been involved in the ace community for a while, but this book did not capture my attention the way I had hoped. I want to say this would be a great book for a teen or adult coming to terms with their asexuality, but they would need to already have a baseline knowledge of the lgbtq+ community due to some of the language used in such a way that it assumes the reader has that baseline knowledge.

Thank you for the opportunity to read this. I learned a lot and it helped bring clarity to some aspects of my own identity as an asexual.

This book means so much to me as an acespec person. I can say from my own experience how exhausting it is to constantly feel like you have to defend your identity, it forces you to question your validity and alienates you from community that you had hoped would welcome you. To anyone looking to learn more about different ace experiences, please pick this book up. You won't regret it.

A great guide to voices that often get left behind in LGBTQ+ books.
This is definitely more a non fiction than a memoir which I appreciated

This is another great introductory to the Ace spectrum (Along with I Am Ace by Cody Daigle). It wasn't as helpful to me as an older person who is familiar with the terminology and glossary of terms, but it is especially helpful for younger people and questioning people who might be less familiar. I would have really liked to have this as a younger person. And it's always comforting to read about people who experience things similarly to you.

Thank you to netgalley for a free copy in exchange for an honest review!

This book was awesome! I am so happy to see ace representation in fiction and nonfiction. I think this book is going to pair really well with Ace by Angela Chen. I really loved all of the personal stories from the author and interviewees because I think it really helped drive home the point that identities are meant to be lived not pinned down and dissected. Different people will experience the same event differently, and that is the same with identities. Creating labels and definitions can be helpful in some ways but very limiting in others. Having open and honest dialog seems to be the best option for fulfilling relationships and also for helpful examination of relationships. This book introduced me to a lot of new language and concepts which I really appreciated. I left this book with more questions than answers, but I think that is the point. The author wants to give each reader the tools to look deeply at themselves, so they can go into any type of relationship and ask for what they need and set boundaries that make them feel safe. Limiting ourselves to what we see on television or what we observe in those around us has greatly harmed people who don't fall into the boxes those relationships were created with. This book is equally useful to ace, allo, and anyone else because it really makes the reader think about relationships and what the possibilities could be. I think even if you disagree with any of the ideas, just thinking about the concepts is an important part of building an inclusive society. I am really glad this book exists, and I hope it reaches a lot of people.

4/5

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with an e-arc!

This book does a great job of explaining nuances of a sexuality and aromanticism, as well as everything connected to these topics starting from relationships (and their types, as well as why some are valued more than others) to the link with other queer identities.

The title may be slightly misleading, as there aren’t any stories of aspec people (aside from an occasional author’s ofc), but more of statistics, analysis and quotes of aspec people who were interviewed for this book on a specific topic.
I’m also happy to say that I relayed a lot to some things that these people said. And despite having done a big amount of research on my own, I learned some new things while reading Ace Voices.

This is a great read if you want to learn more about asexuality and aromanticism!

Ace Voices is a book about visibility and inclusivity within the ace spectrum. It's about discovering for yourself how you feel and identify. It has a lot of great language and testimonies within. People sharing their own experiences and how they live their identity, whether or not they have a specific label like grey-sexual and aro-ace or whether they are comfortable knowing they are somewhere within the ace spectrum.


I identify as being ace (demi/grey sexual), and reading about others with the same or similar experience to make always makes me feel seen and whole. For the longest time, I thought something was wrong with me, and reading this book, shows that I am not the only one who has felt this way. The image of asexual people is changing, and thankfully for the better, with asexuality no longer only being seen as an illness or something fundamentally wrong but as a healthy and completely natural orientation.

I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to know more about what asexuality is and what the term covers and to anyone who wants to broaden their knowledge of sexuality and identity.

Ace Voices by Eris Young is the representation I've been waiting for my whole life. It's the blanket my young ace self would use to warm themself up and hide under to find a world where I'm not weird. I'm unique. I'm not immature. I'm just different. I am not loveless. I'm precious. I'm ace, and that describes me in my wholeness, not lackness.
In this book, Eris set out to crush conventionality in its whole meaning and use the ground to build a safe space for me. For us. "To not prove to allosexual people we exist but to prove it to ourselves," As they put it.
This book discusses asexuality, aromanticism, demisexuality, grey-asexuality and even more identities and language used by a-spec people. It redefines love, romance, relationships without actually imprisoning them into conditions or actual immutable definitions. The flexibility given to the meaning of everything is truly refreshing and freeing.
The only critique I have for this book is that it was too short. The thoughts, discussions, the voices of a-spec people, the ace joy, everything! I wanted more of it. This book had me stopping every five minutes to write down quotes, personal experiences, feelings, and to just feel the joy pouring out of me at the realization that I'm not alone. I'm not lost anymore in the expectations of this society, but rather flourishing at my own pace, my own way.
It changed me in a fundamental way. Or maybe it just assured me it was okay to finally see what was there all along.
Here are some of the quotes I loved:

"A network of friendships is like a garden, full of variety and therefore more healthy, robust and sustainable than a single crop. And like a vegetable garden, if you put work and energy into it, it will nourish you in return."

"...and to understand asexuality, aromanticism and all the spectrum identities for what they really are: nothing more than different ways to be human."

"If sex is considered by mainstream society to be a normal and universal function of a healthy body or mind,then romance and romantic coupling - its sexual nature often left unsaid but still implied- is framed as a natural function of a healthy personality."

"In the face of so much pressure to explain ourselves, pressure to be certain, the ease with which so many a-spec people hold into ambiguity, blurriness and changeability of human experience is both a strength and a radical act."

By Grace B Freedom: "while my erotic seat does not rest on the legs of white supremacist cis heteropatriarchal allosexuality, there is indeed an erotic seat and it is indeed hot."

"...and perhaps ironically, realizing I'm not alone has made me more comfortable with being on my own."

Great points of discussion:

"...a feeling of aloneness in who I was."

"We are taught that once a relationship has become very close, it becomes "something more," and ceases to be a friendship. Once a friendship reaches a certain level of intensity, intimacy or closeness, "it evolves'' into a romantic relationship, a different beast entirely."

"When you're desperate to communicate you use the words available to you even if they're not the best ones."

"Born-this-way language risks alienating or even erasing people whose sexualities or genders are fluid or developing."

By LG " Are we really creating stereotypes based on behaviour the same way cis straight people create gender stereotypes?"

By Vaid-Menon "Part of white supremacy as I understand it, is the privilege of being a subject of desire: one who can feel in control of one's desires and one who has more agency to act on said desires."

Thank you so very much for providing me with a digital arc of this book.

I loved this book! It really just felt like an opportunity to let asexual people speak, which such a wide range of experiences. I laughed, I cried, it was just all-around amazing. My one critique though is that you have to already know a lot about asexuality to fully understand, I'm asexual and know quite a lot about it but I still didn't fully get everything.

It's more of a 4.5 than a 4 but oh well!

"When it comes down to it, for a lot of us living as a-spec means coming to understand that we are, on our own, enough."

This book is great for both those who are just starting to understand what a-spec means and want to know more of the community and those who've been part of it for a while but still want to get to know more a-spec experiences.

For the first group of people, this book starts out with a bit of an introduction and presentation of some relevant words and then the author goes in deeper. Starting out, I confess I was a little disappointed with the title of the book (ace voices? why not a-spec?), but this is an issue that the author recognizes and then corrects for the rest of the book. I understand why they'd keep the "ace voices" in the title instead, since it can captivate way more people than "a-spec voices" would.

I wasn't expecting the author to address the wording - but they did, and that was only one of the surprises in this book. Being aroace, I do believe there is a tendency to first describe what my community lacks. This is something the author not only avoids but goes around - they show us what is incredible about being in the aro or ace spectrum, how much we have to get to know ourselves on a fundamental level and how that leads us to speak out about our needs and understand others better, no matter the type of relationship. This book reiterates this in so many ways - it shows us how strong the community is, how we've fought for a long time and been here even longer, how we've overcome society's amatonormativity even in spite of our families' expectations and how people of color have felt and feel this weight more harshly, how language wasn't made to accomodate us at all but we're changing it so it does.

There's no way to explain it, you'll just have to read it - I'll encourage you. Chapters like "When Language Isn't Enough", "Cultural Background and Racialisation", "Friends and Family", "What is Love?" and, most importantly, "Joy" are some of the best chapters I've ever read. The last one has a special place in my heart because it highlights the goods of my community and how ending up "alone" isn't depressing at all.

"I would tell her, or them, to be gentle with themselves. There is value in the knowing, when the knowing comes, but value in the learning, too."

This is a very thoughtful study on what it means to identify as asexual (or the asexual spectrum--or a-spec--as the writer prefers), written by a member of the community. It includes the results of other surveys, personal revelations, and the author's own study of 160 people who identify as a-spec.

An early chapter of the book is essentially a glossary, with definitions as to words like asexual (often shortened to ace), aromantic, demi-ace and grey/gray-ace. This was very useful, especially for non-a-spec readers. The author is careful to point out that these words are constantly evolving, and that there is no one definition agreed to by everyone. Indeed, many of the author's study respondents questioned the need for definitions, given that human identity is so changeable, so nuanced and nebulous a thing. "I want to live my experience, not describe it!" one respondent wrote.

This ambiguity about labels is especially true for communities like the a-spec community where labels about identity have been pathologized by those outside the community.

Young agrees with this concern and also points out that “In order to explore and celebrate something, it must first be allowed to exist. In order for it to exist …it must first be named.” Words are powerful and the act of self-naming can be empowering. It is also, they point out, the first step towards finding and building community.

There are further chapters on asexual identity and gender; on love; disability and neurodivergence; racialization; friends and family; and intersectionality. Throughout these chapters Young articulately, and gracefully, deals with myths and misunderstandings about asexuality.

Rather than being a trendy, Western-only or modern phenomenon, Young sees asexuality and aromanticism as a part of the human experience with a long history, from the Gold Orchid societies of Qing-period China to 19th century North American Boston marriages.

There is a spirit of inquiry throughout this book that is refreshing. The questions at the end of every chapters are intriguing and encourage reflection, no matter if you are a-spec or not, or a member of LGBTQ+ communities or not. Asexual and aromantic people challenge some very deep rooted assumptions about human nature. Like LGBTQ+ people, the supposed 'normalcy' of heterosexual relationships, of the need for both sex and a primary, exclusive romantic relationship, is questioned--and found wanting. The political implications of this challenge, as Young writes, are potentially revolutionary.

The honesty and respect shown for differences make this a very interesting read. It will especially interest anyone who has an interest in identity formation, in community building, human sexuality and desire. In short, this is a book for a-spec people, their allies, and all of us. The book includes a bibliography, list of resources like the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), and foot notes.