This debut feels like a fever dream. What if you suddenly got obsessed with a kpop star and then had the opportunity to meet them? This book focuses on a fan who writes fanfiction and believes she understands the idol, Moon, perfectly. She then travels to Korea to find him and a lot of weird things happen. With her obsession and voyeurism, the mc has a lot of beautiful lines. "His voice was a pink ribbon whipping in the wind..."

There is a lot of philosophy about existence and art too.

"The spiritual vacuity of our consumption and conversation, the daily torture of justifying our ethical fraudulence... how could one not think that the solution was to retreat behind the walls of the self?"

Does meeting your idols destroy them and/or your obsession?

A super bizarre but interesting read that I got thru in a day. Another exciting book coming out this year!

Y/N is dizzying and one of a kind. The story follows a Korean-American woman who becomes enthralled with kpop boy, Moon, who unexpectedly becomes the center of her universe and reason for existing. Upon first laying eyes on Moon, our narrator enters her life’s second act. There was Before Moon, now welcome to After Moon. With her we embark on an unhinged journey to find Moon in Seoul, South Korea.

I can recall the surreal, dreamlike nature of the novel like I read it yesterday, and after a jam-packed year of reading I cant say I’ve read anything quite like this. It explores the oddities that are para-social relationships and stan culture. This book is a true fever dream, of fandoms, devotion, and unrequited love.

What a bizarre and singular fever dream of a book. So incredibly engrossing. We follow a woman's quest to get closer to a k-pop singer named Moon, Intersects such interesting ideas of fandom, Korean culture, and the quest to be known. I really loved it.

Ok HOW does someone review a book like this?? This book falls on the spectrum of “indescribable books that are unforgettable yet almost impossible to summarize wtf I actually read”.

This story is SO strange and yet, unexpectedly flawless. Philosophical and deranged, with characters who say things that seem so misaligned from reality, that a profound new version of reality is born from their very thoughts.

Parts of this book felt like a mind trap, a paradox of meaningful senselessness. I really felt utterly taken aback at pieces of this book, at the same time as being wildly impressed by them.

Esther Yi creates such vivid, weird characters by writing things no “normal” person would likely admit to behaving like or thinking. Her writing is excellent and troubling, in perfect balance.

But they do not walk side by side. On the street, she stays several meters behind him so that she is always longing for him. Despite their open mutual understanding that they are in love, they are slow about coming together. They meet seventeen times before they properly touch.

This is a book about unrequited love, about extreme self-delusion and obsession, the almost-hypnotic nature of celebrity-fan culture, and the ways a person can willingly fall into the arms of a fantasy.

An unnamed MC wants nothing to do with K-pop star Moon, but after being dragged to a concert, she becomes immediately infatuated to the point of completely surrendering her existence in favor of a blind devotion to all things Moon. She projects an idealized version of him, which gives her unshakeable resolve to enter into an all-consuming relationship with her imagined reality.

She drops her boyfriend, suddenly moves from Germany to Korea, and fuses her reality with the Y/N (Your Name) fanfiction she writes that is blended into the plot of this book. Her obsession with Moon quickly eclipses her personality and sense of self, which allows her to desperately immerse herself in the cultish fandom that she connects with.

As the plot progresses, we see how the MC’s vision of Moon becomes more and more detatched from the person that Moon actually is in the physical world, and more and more attached to an ethereal silhouette of him that she and other fans have co-created.

I loved how this book portrayed the fetishization of celebrities by enamored fans, the way that fandoms devour the subject of their admiration, and the emptiness that can come from falling in love with a fantasy.

Truly, one of the most memorable books I've read in the last couple of years. Cannot wait to sell this to customers when it comes out.

Y/N is completely unique and totally spellbinding. Anyone who has ever been engrossed in a fandom will somewhat understand—yet still feel deeply unsettled by—the level of obsession woven into this story. I really enjoyed this strange, quick read.

Thank you to Astra Publishing House and NetGalley for sending me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

another 2023 release !

written for: self aware fangirls/boys/theys , k pop stans

I struggled with this one ..
but I really enjoyed the general premise.

the obsession and compulsion that can stem from parasocial relationships is very interesting to me. it’s so subtlety dark and twisted. but it missed a little something in my opinion & I found my attention wasn’t held the full time. still would recommend you pick up and read for yourself!


pub date - March 21, 2023

Wow! This is such a unique story. I have never read something like this before. The writing was beautiful. I love how the story dealt with an obsessive relationship between fan and celebrity. This was such a great read!

While parasocial relationships are a very important topic these days, I don't think this was exactly the way to address them. There are definitely fans that can become extremely obsessed, like the main character, but that's just a vocal minority, most people can still keep a healthy distance. Whereas in the book, all fans seemed to be on the xtreme end of fandom culture.
I sometimes confused characters with each other, since everyone seemed to have the same way of expressing themselves, in long drawn-out pretentious momologues, especially the main character.
All in all, the premise & theme of the book were very interesting, but the execution was unsuccessful.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me this ARC

It took me a little bit of time to warm up to this one and get used to the writing style, but when I did I fell in love. Yi's perceptive exploration of fandoms and the roles people play within them, as well as the depth of feeling that are evoked in those who do partake in fandoms is sublime. While I am not a K-Pop stan, I have been known to fall in love with fictional characters (most notably Peeta Mellark), and the feelings described by the narrator in Y/N were not entirely dissimilar to the feelings I have for fictional icons. It was different, though -- because my characters do not exist in the real world my interactions and perceptions of them are not the same as they would be if they existed in the real world. I still think the description of how the narrator felt about Moon was accurate since he, in this world, was a real person.

The narrative is playful yet immersive, and what was most interesting was that you never get a true sense of the narrator's self nor a true understanding of her, only glimpses of who she is -- because her fascination and obsession with Moon far overshadows her own personality.

When I first entered into this novel, I worried that the execution would not live up to the concept, but it surpassed my expectations in its exploration of the multi-faceted dynamics people have within fandoms -- not just with each other but with the celebrity/character itself. Overall, I really enjoyed my time with this novel and will be revisiting it when it is published.

Thank you to Netgalley, Esther Yi and Astra Publishing House for the free eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I'd simply say, an interesting read that feels like being caught in someone's fever dream. Very poetic writing and stream of consciousness style. Definitely not recommended for people who want a grounded story, this feels like an air you can't quite grip as it pass through your way.
A book to enjoy and to sit on, sip your coffee or tea on; not a book to understand and figure out.

The book tells about our main character's dive into the opium world of parasocial relationship with her object of obsession, which happens to be the youngest member of Korean boygroup with the name Moon. This feels like reading those dizzying Japan literature, btw.

Thank you to NetGalley and Astra Publishing for providing me with this eARC in exchange of my honest review of the book.

Y/N by Esther Yi is a surrealistic minimalistic story of fan culture, voyeurism, and the entirely unhealthy obsession which can come from being an incredibly devoted fan of something. It gave me a feeling of “What the hell is going on?” enough times that I would usually be put off by it, but the narrator’s growing obsession made me want to see what she would do next and keep reading.

Y/N is about a woman who goes to a concert and is instantly obsessed with one of the group’s members. She does everything she can think of to be closer to him, including dying and cutting her hair to look more like his and eventually traveling to Korea to search for him and make him know exactly how she feels about him.
Every new character she encounters is completely absurd and unrealistic, and they seem to explain more of the main character’s psyche than act like real people from the real world.
While the story was interesting, the first half was very slow and chunky, and it took me a month to get through it – and it took an afternoon to get through the second half haha! So I would say that not giving up on this is definitely worth it, even if it might be a bit slow at times.

The writing in and of itself could often come across as pretentious and redundant. The narrator really loves big words, and it was a bit difficult to follow as a non-native speaker. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve had to look up words multiple times on one page, and it obviously pulled me out of the story every time. Also – while there were a bunch of epic descriptions and good messages, they sometimes felt very spelled out, which removed a big part of the impact.

With all that being said, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and I definitely recommend it to others who also enjoy surreal and slightly fever-dream-y stories.

Very unique and difficult to describe, I think I liked this. It reminded me of a fantasy story, although it's in the literary genre by the publisher. Strong writing skills are on display. Those seeking the unusual and surreal will love this.

Thanks very much for the free ARC for review!!

I had no idea what to expect before starting, so my enjoyment of this novel snuck up on me.

Esther Yi’s debut is an engaging and brilliant exploration of modern-day parasocial relationships. In addition, there are many intriguing insights into identity, love, and belonging. The writing style caught me off guard very early on in the novel. Her sentences were somehow beautiful and lyrical while perfectly capturing the absurdity of what was occurring with the protagonist.

I usually write a couple of paragraphs for these, but I am having a hard time finding the right words. This book was a fever dream in the best way possible.

Y/N is both fascinating and original. I look forward to re-reading it upon release!

“He’d assumed that Y/N stood for ‘Yes/no,’ believing the slash to signify the protagonist’s fragmented sense of self.”

Thanks to Astra Publishing House and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Esta es la historia surrealista de una mujer obsesionada. Se sintió como un mal viaje y hasta la mitad del libro no le conseguí pillar el punto. En el mejor de los sentidos, esta es la versión oscura, adulta y existencial (y mejor) de El Principito.

Al empezar este libro, esperaba que fuese una subversión del género fanfic, y algo de eso hay, pero no de la forma en la que podía esperar yo, y creo que por eso me costó entrar en él. No estaba preparada para los elementos surrealistas, para que el libro se situase “en la realidad, pero no”. En otras reseñas que he visto, le sacan parecidos con obras de otras autoras, pero yo creo que nunca había leído algo así. Hacia la mitad, comencé a aceptar todo lo que el libro me contaba sin cuestionarme los límites de la realidad y lo disfruté mucho más.

Lo que más me ha gustado del libro, sin duda alguna, es la prosa de la autora. Usa un registro elevado, excesivamente formal, un poco recargado, pero lejos de jugar en contra del libro, le aporta una sensación de distancia, de irrealidad, hace que se sienta aún más como un sueño. Además, al usar lenguaje culto para describir todo lo mundano, casi todas las páginas de este libro acaban teniendo alguna frase lapidaria. No es un lenguaje que vaya a funcionar en todo tipo de libros, pero en este es la estrella.

Contra lo que pueda parecer, la protagonista no es y/n, pero tampoco tiene nombre. Resulta un poco paradójico que las y/n de los fanfics suelan tener una personalidad esbozada (si bien muchas veces llena de clichés) que no tiene por qué representar a todas las lectoras, mientras que el único rasgo definitorio de nuestra protagonista que NO es y/n es su obsesión con su ídolo: debería ser un lienzo en blanco perfecto con el que se pudiesen identificar todas las fans de cualquier persona, pero se siente tan ajena y distante que es imposible. Ni siquiera se puede empatizar con ella, aunque en cierto momento eso mismo hace que te empiece a dar pena.

La mayoría de los demás personajes están muy desdibujados. He dicho que me recuerda a El principito porque, durante su búsqueda, la protagonista se va encontrado con todo tipo de personas que le ofrecen su propia perspectiva vital. Sorprendentemente, la suya no es la más bizarra.

Más que una subversión del género fanfic, este libro es una exploración psicológica de la obsesión con una persona. Lo recomiendo sobre todo si os gusta la ficción literaria no muy anclada en el mundo real, los libros impredecibles y, paradójicamente, las protagonistas que no gustan.

Have I already read the best book of 2023? I would be surprised if not.

Esther Yi seems poised to break out onto the scene in a way reminiscent of Ottessa Moshfegh, with a similar mastery of the surreal, the strange, and the oddly beautiful. I've rarely seen sentences so staggeringly well put together, and the world that she creates with them is one I treasure like a limited water supply - I find myself taking sips so as not to drain this well too quickly.

Ultimately a treatise on identity, love, meaning and being, Esther Yi has perfectly captured the neuroses of our modern society, and I'm eagerly looking forward to her next book in a way I haven't since the untimely death of David Foster Wallace. With Y/N, we might be witnessing the birth of a legendary literary career. And I sincerely hope that's the case.

Thank you to NetGalley and Astra Publishing for the ARC.

This book felt like a fever dream, but in a good way. This book really explores the way that extreme fandom can tip the scales into obsession. My favorite parts were the few moments of clarity that seemed to break through the main character’s haze, and we could see how irrationally she was acting. This is very surrealist literary fiction, which I know will appeal to a lot of people. My only complaint is I felt the beginning was a bit clunky, and we could have eased into the story a bit smoother.

Thank you to NetGalley and Astra Publishing for the ARC.

This was an interesting read, mostly because I didn’t know what was happening for some of it. It’s a very interior novel that examines parasocial relationships and the concept of fandom. I am not a Kpop fan but I have been a fan of boy bands in the past, so I was fascinated by the different ways people experience their fandom. As it is from our protagonist’s perspective, we are eventually never sure what is actually happening and what is part of the Y/N fanfiction she has been writing. I would love to discuss this one with fellow former fans of bands, as I’m sure everyone has a unique perspective on this book. Overall, a fascinating and fresh literary fiction examination of fandom.

Thank you net gally for sending me a free copy of Y/N in exchange for a honest review.


I struggle so much to find the proper words to review this because I know that whatever I say will not do this book justice. You simply have to pick this up to understand why it's so special.


Ultimately brilliant, Y/N is the best written portrayal of para social relationships and obsession with the flawless version of celebrities, one can easily dream about when they don't know that celebrity enough to understand their humanity.


The writing made me unable to put this book down. Genuinely one of the best novels I've read this year.

Surreal and zany - Y/N is a philosophical look at celebrity obsession and modern romance. A novel following a Korean-American living in Berlin who embarks upon a journey to Seoul in order to meet k-pop idol, Moon.

Like his namesake, Moon has a gravitational pull that enamores the protagonist after seeing him at one of his shows. She loves him because she misses him, she misses him because she loves him. Y/N (your name) fan-fiction is thrown into these ethereal chapters.

The whole novel had a dreamlike and fantastical vibe. The protagonist meets different characters along the way and engages in conversations that are stunted and offbeat, blurring between the lines of fantasy and reality.

I think Yi did a fantastic job of dealing with celebrity obsession by incorporating fan-fiction. In a world of blind loyalty and dedication to all things k-pop, Yi also briefly highlights Korean fetishisation amongst foreigners who go to Korea in search of love from their idols. Shedding their skins and neutralising their accents in order to “become Korean.”

Yi transcends boundaries and disturbs our ideas of identity and the self.

I ended up liking Y/N.
It was an interesting story and I did enjoy myself.
I just struggled with the writing style and it kept me from fully enjoying the story.
I would still recommend this book as It still was a good read!
Thank you Netgalley and the publishers for giving me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.