"A clear-eyed, optimistic guide for parents with adult children who need help navigating the challenges to launching an independent life."

Even pre-pandemic things were changing so much for our young people - jobs aren't as stable, housing costs are skyrocketing, college loans are insane....but now things feel even harder. As the parent of two young people as well as a mental health professional, i really enjoyed the idea of shifting our parental role to one of thoughtful conversation with children instead of rule setting. Our children should be able to depend on us to help them as they grow and start to dip their toes into independence while knowing we support them each step of the way.

You're Not Done Yet: Parenting Young Adults in an Age of Uncertainty, Dr. B. Janet Hibbs and Dr. Anthony Rostain, is an outstanding resource for parents of older and adult "kids." No matter how old they are, they are always our “kids” and we are always their parents. The real question is how we communicate so that we hear each other as a loving adult family. A few themes really resonated. First, the differences in generational experiences and how they impact both expectations and current realities. Second, although he or she is your "kid," they are an adult or an "emerging adult." As a parent, you want to nurture their process of maturing, rather than your own ideal of adulthood. Just as whatever baby/toddler books were on the parental nightstand or bookcase, this book should have a special place in the home for parents of older "kids." It is filled with insight, conversational tips, and backed by exhaustive research. Thanks so much to NetGalley, St. Martin's Press and the authors for the opportunity to read a digital ARC.

A timely parenting book that fills a gap in the category. It is just as the title says... and as parents are we ever really done? My own kids are older than the target group of this book, but I enjoyed reading it just to be able to understand this particular generation a little bit better and to understand the impact that our world has on a particular generation. It would behoove all of us older folks to know more about the unique difficulties faced by this generation.
The books is thorough, well-organized, gives relatable examples and episodes, and is quite readable. Recommended for everyone that cares about a generation other than their own.

Thank you to NetGalley for an advance copy of this book. I am glad it will be out there in the world.

When I was a new parent, I read lots of parenting books in an effort to be the best parent possible while also searching for those elusive ideas that would help me to better understand my particular children. Now that my kids are 30 and 32 years old, my days of hands-on parenting are over, but they will never not be my children. There are very few books written about parenting young adults, so You're Not Done Yet is a welcome addition. The subtitle Parenting Young Adults in an Age of Uncertainty is equally important. The world is drastically different than when I was a young adult, and the simplistic advice I heard of "work hard and you'll be successful" is no longer useful. The authors detail how the world is different for today's young adults along with the challenges and "poor coping" they face because of it. It was illustrative for me, along with the practical ideas that the authors give for better coping, for both parents and children, including mental health concerns. I have tried to use many of the steps given (including preparation, checking my defensiveness, and having to be right) and will continue to try and put these useful ideas into practice.

Thank you to Netgalley and St. Martin's Press for providing me with a copy of this book.

I work with large groups of 11-18 year-olds. Even though I don't have children myself to parent, I enjoy reading books like "You're Not Done Yet" that help me understand what our population needs from adults in general. I especially was interested in how to deal with the "poor coping" I was observing post-pandemic. I plan on recommending this to our older teens' adult figures. Was very helpful in understanding our new normal.

This timely and important book will resonate with the many parents concerned about their twentysomething child’s struggle to “launch.” Record numbers of young adults are living at home, un- or underemployed, without having completed their educational programs, and/or struggling with mental health issues. Parental efforts to help, however well-intended, can compound the problem, shutting down communication between parent and child and adding to the frustration, anxiety, and depression both may be feeling.

Therapists Hibbs and Rostain do an excellent job of describing the challenges faced by today’s “emerging adults” and putting them into historical context (although political context is only mentioned in passing - a not entirely helpful choice, given that the deepening ideological divide has added to family conflict). Contrasting the world in which the baby boomers and Gen X came of age with the world today, the authors clearly show that “the likelihood that most twentysomethings will have a predictable, undeviating path to adulthood is inconsistent with current economic and social realities.”

This is much needed reassurance for parents who have been barraged with negative messaging that blames “helicopter parents” and their “snowflakes” for this generation’s struggles. Hibbs and Rostain urge their readers to “rethink the stereotype of parents as neurotic enablers from whom young adults must recover; and to reconsider the bias that delayed young adult milestones reflect a generational character flaw.” They encourage readers to proactively participate in a “new era of parenting: parents as collaborative partners to their young adults.” The first part of the book gives concrete strategies and examples of how that can be accomplished, with re-set communication and listening techniques being the key.

The second part of the book discusses specific behavioral and mental health concerns, such as online gaming, depression, and substance use, with suggestions on how to address them and an appendix with many resources. This will surely be valuable to many families, though it struck me that the ability to gain timely and repeated access to some of these resources, in particular to mental health professionals, can be frustratingly difficult or simply not possible.

Overall, I found this guide for today's parents to be insightful, readable, and very useful. I plan to re-read it and highly recommend it to others. 4.5 stars.

This book is a necessary guide for today’s world of parenting after your child’s high school graduation. It provides many case studies and examples of how to apply the information. We have entered times, with the young adults struggling through pandemic disruptions. A great book to support the idea that the world our generation graduated into was not as challenging as this one. This young adults need more support than the previous generation.

What an affirming book and valuable resource! I read plenty of parenting books for raising young children but not many good ones for parenting older adults. This book is the exception. I appreciated the information and research on how unprecedented the times are that our adult kids are living in.

I also loved a parenting description as being "open nesters" compared to "empty nesters," who let kids come and go, and that young adulthood today is called "emergency adulthood," flexible and dynamic.

Included is a resource called the CRAFT module for positive communication which I plan to keep at hand. It offers steps to keep in mind for engaging with your twentysomething. I found most useful the steps to take in preparation before conversations, such as checking your defensiveness level, pausing or slowing down, and trying to see things from your young adult's perspective.

I will be using this as a resource and sharing with friends. Highly recommended. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.