You're Not Done Yet

A clear-eyed, optimistic guide for parents with adult children who need help navigating the challenges to launching an independent life.

Times were already tough for young adults looking for ways to start living independent lives after high school and college: rents were up, wages were down, student loan debt was burdensome, then the Covid-19 pandemic hit. A generation of young people were forced out of their classrooms, jobs, and social lives, returning home to live with their parents. Now many of these young adults carry the scars of the internal pandemic, with increased anxiety and depression, poor coping, and the uncertainty of how to restart their lives. Parents want to help, but the old rules of advice-giving can clash with the need to respect their child’s autonomy.

In You’re Not Done Yet, two leading adolescent and young adult mental health experts provide a practical and compassionate path to parents combatting the worry and frustrating isolation many feel when supporting their twentysomethings. Hibbs and Rostain explain when and how developmental markers changed, and invite parents and young adults to learn new, more effective ways of communicating with each other. Part I of the book covers the “new normal,” of young adulthood, with its educational and career changes. The new normal of parent-child relationship asks us to rethink our “shoulds,” and in the process develop a closer relationship based on talking and listening to understand each other, rather than “being right.” Part II addresses the common and challenging problems that arise when mental illness creates a drag on a young adult’s progress, and shows how parents may be engaged in their child’s treatment. Packed with helpful information and step-by-step guides to specific problems, this book will be an invaluable resource for parents and their twentysomething children.