Such an awesome read. It feels unlikely that no one could relate to this, I think everyone has been asked this at one point in their lives, and it used to be such an affront to me as a young person. This book was amazing because I left feeling proud that I am empathetic and vulnerable because that is brave. I felt like the author empowered readers with tools on how to engage calmly and constructively while respecting their own boundaries and beliefs. I loved it.

Thank you to NetGalley and to the publisher for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

My thanks to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for an eARC of this book to read and review.

I think a good bit of the examples of "microaggression" detailed in this book are really just examples of gross stupidity on the speaker's part TBH. Like, holy heck, HOW does someone let half of that past their brain-filter and out of their mouth??

However, some of the examples given really were the listener being too sensitive. Let me dodge the rotten tomatoes and explain.

If someone is constantly exposed to microaggressions/stupidity and worse, eventually, they may start to hear m/s/w in everything spoken to them. What they have experienced and will sadly probably continue to experience is real, but not everything is m/s/w. The listener's POV can twist something innocent into something hurtful.

Example, one of my ex's would ALWAYS interpret anything I said in the worst possible way, assuming the worst and that what I said was a dig to hurt them and start a fight because of it. It made me not want to say anything and lots of awkward silences would ensue. Maybe I had said something in the beginning of our relationship that made them automatically react that way, maybe it was baggage from a prior relationship. I don't know because I never got any real dialogue when I tried to understand their "why".

Also not saying the speaker is innocent, just that they should be considered innocent before proven guilty and given a chance to learn/give an explanation. Only if you want to ask though, not telling anyone what to do, but it could help the speaker to not be m/s/w in the future. You don't have to be a teacher and honestly, pick your battles. At work there is a co-worker who is flagrantly misogynistic. Thankfully he only visits from another office on occasion. The last time he was in our office, I didn't ask him why he said what he did, I just understand that is who he is from years of interactions with him, told him what he said/did was unacceptable and then went up the management chain to express my displeasure with his boss. Sometimes talking isn't going to fix things. He did treat me with a tad more respect after that at least, but I'm not holding my breath for the next visit. It's hard for an @-hat to change his stripes.

One structural quibble, this book was not organized well. The chapters had headings such as "at work" and "relationships", but not all of the stories in those chapters corresponded with the title, which confused me and kicked me out of a book about a very important topic.

I'm glad that this book was saying that communication and checking one's expectations is important, but that was aimed more at the speaker than the one being spoken to. BOTH sides need to communicate and check their assumptions and maybe even ask themselves, why do I think/feel this way? Am I being overly insensitive to the other person and overly sensitive to myself? How can I balance the sensitivity so both of us are respected and equal partners in this dialogue?

2, this is an important book but I felt some of the examples didn't illustrate the thesis well, it was one-sided and the organization was too off for me to truly enjoy reading it, stars.

I highly recommend this book. Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.

This was in every way, life-changing. The best self-reflection I could say as I was reading stays the same: Be kind. Let’s be educated. We are called to be sensitive towards everyone because each of them deserves to be respected just as you. No matter what you see on the outside, please take caution before saying things that might be harmful in any way.

Thank you for the eye-opening stories and expert takes. This book deserves to be put out there and be read by everyone

Opinions of Billie Lee as a reality TV character aside, I found this book to be humanizing and helpful. Too often books like these can "talk down" to its readers but Lee does an excellent job with aligning herself to the reader and providing some helpful information.

I picked this up because I think Billie Lee is funny, but this just didn't do it for me. It was a little all over the place and didn't seem particularly useful.

Why Are You So Sensitive? by Billie Lee explores communication and societal expectation/acceptance. Through her own examples and those of many others, Lee explores how microaggressions, those subtle, indirect verbal cuts that wound without intention, permeate and influence our daily lives. Although the book is experiential than "how-to," there are lessons to be learned in reading about the experience of others. Why Are You So Sensitive shows us that no matter how well intentioned we are, how thoughtful or insightful we believe ourselves to be, we all contribute to the social rhetoric that leaves marginalized people feeling unsafe, unwelcome, and at a disadvantage in the world.
Why Are You So Sensitive is for anyone who communicates, in any way, with others.

This was a great read, covering micro aggressions and what they mean and the impact they have. Such an important conversation, and so many important personal stories and experiences shared in this book. I highly recommend

I love reading about topics like this, especially when it has to do with microaggressions that people don't realize. I wish that some of the stories weren't so repetitive though. I would have liked to have more examples. However, overall it was good and I liked the examples provided.

Why Are You So Sensitive? explores microaggressions in very plain language, making the topic more accessible and understandable (as someone who's been to a few microaggression seminars as a student, in discussion groups, and in the workplace, they can be a little "academic"). The anecdotes and expert takes give real-world examples that aid in understanding microaggressions and their impact, and would be great for discussion or for anyone ready to do the work. Also, it's a beautifully designed book!

Thank you NetGalley for the ebook in exchange for an honest review.


“What’s dangerous about “I was just joking” is that it lets people think they’re off the hook”

Divided into many short stories about people’s experiences with micro aggressions, this book was easy to read, straight to the point and very clear. Some are just shocking to read, makes me think how people think it’s okay to say things like that. But some are more subtle and some people wouldnt know that they were offending the other person. It was interesting to read them all put together. Ranging from sexuality, body positivity, food, racism, appearances, compliments that arent actually compliments, intelligence, assumptions people make subconsciously…

And concluding with how to respond to microaggressions. This was a great read and I really enjoyed it.

Some accounts are relatable. That bit about being told that it’s best if you don’t join lest you might feel out of place. I’ve been there and I’ve also done that albeit having good intentions. I guess the worst part is when you’re just intentionally forgotten, dropped and avoided, not even worthy of an explanation.

Others surprising. I personally don’t know anyone who is living with HIV and I know little about that particular illness. That first hand account was both humbling and reassuring.

Still there are a couple that made me think more about personal issues that needed resolving than the intent behind the statement. It’s worth remembering that one, we’re human. Two, in order to survive the harsh realities, we need thicker skin and tough resolve. Three, we ourselves are the best medium we can control. If what they say is telling of them, then how we react is telling of us.

I like everything about this book, from the appearance down to its content. I absolutely love that there’s no judgment or fury, just an expression of hurt and most importantly a spot to introspect and apologize.

Thank you to the publisher and author for the arc of this book.
As an HSP I was looking forward to reading this and hoping it would be helpful but I felt it was aimed at the trans and gay audience. I think I misread the description of this book. It was not as helpful for me in this case.

I find the concept of micro aggressions so interesting and I find that so many people are unaware of them. This is an important topic that really does need to be talked about more. I liked how this book validates peoples experiences but also doesn't cast judgement on the people who might be perpetuating the microaggressions, it acknowledges that there is usually no malicious intent and we can be ignorant to the hurt we cause but that we need to learn to be mindful of how we speak to others. I found this book very insightful and I hope I can learn from it

The subtitle of this book-- "Navegating Everyday Unintended Microagressions" is important here. This book is a collection of thoughts on microagressions that (subtly) attack many facets of identity, and propose ways to both work to combat one employing microagressions, and reframing intent behind them to better deal with being on the receiving end. She shares her stories and those of others in an attempt to demonstrate that some of the things we say have the power to harm, even if we aren't aware of it. I *am* a sensitive person, and feel I'm fairly educated about microagressions, but there were still things in this book that were helpful for me to learn from/contextualize.

A quote I particularly enjoyed: "All microagressions are rooted in fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of Rejection, Fear of Failure. Fear of one's own reflection in others." --A quote from Carolina Gutierrez

I enjoyed reading this book sooo much! The author shares her own personal experiences with microaggressions, as well as other people's testimonies regarding homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, discrimination against BIPOC, among others. It's so sad so see that some people make certain comments so lightly without thinking about what they're truly saying and without taking other people's feelings into account. Under each testimony there's an expert's take on the situation. These comments are written by Dr. Gina C. Torino, a psychologist and microaggression expert. The book also provides ways to respond to microaggressions and helpful resources. This is a book I recommend to everyone!

Thank you NetGalley for giving me access to this book.

I love reading books on validation and invalidation. This is a topic that needs to be talked more about. Microaggressions and invalidation occur all the time; and mainly with no malicious intention. Billie (the author) put together not only their examples, but other individuals examples and experiences with being invalidated. We, as a collective whole, need to be more mindful of the words that we use so as not to accidentally hurt anyone.

Throughout this entire book, I was highlighting and taking notes like crazy, because
**We all commit microaggressions; the key is to keep working at being better.**

Each story in this book moving and eye-opening. The addition of expert advice from Dr. Gina C. Torino really made this book what it is. because let's be honest, it can be easy to act petty or hurtful in response to agressors but not always helpful like the tools provided by an actual psychologist.

thank you to Netgalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for this ARC

I think fans of the author (she is a cast member of Vanderpump Rules!) will enjoy the many insights into her life and the micro and macro aggressions she has dealt with, as well as how she combatted making them as well.

This book gave me a healthy insight as to how microaggressions against minorities really affect peoples' lives. There were a few that I read that I know I've been guilty of saying, and there were also a few that have been said to me before. It felt validating to read the latter and eye-opening to read the former.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.

I was really intrigued by this book as somebody who has been told my whole life I am too sensitive. From family to friends to coworkers it’s been a phrase I’ve heard thrown around often and it’s never sat right with me but it hasn’t been until more recently that I’ve seen people pushing to stop using that type of phrasing. I liked that the book was broken up into short stories because it made it easier to read and digest. It did feel slightly repetitive at times but overall the message was good.