What a thought provoking book. It was quite difficult to read at times. The need for a blood connection was her driving force. And how different the families of her biological father and mother were. So interesting to understand the insecurities the both adopted and non-adopted families have. I will be recommending this book to adoptive parents that I know.

This book was very well written. It explores many things you don't think about with adopted children. Medical history from biological family, questioning of belonging, questioning why your parents gave you up for adoption. The question were you better off adopted or would you have been better off with your biological family. Who do you look like, whose personality do you have, will you hurt your adoptive parents if you want to look for your biological family. This woman's journey exploring her feelings, questioning who she was, finding her biological parents, her relationship with her adoptive family. I had a hard time putting this book down. This was an emotionally packed excellent read.

Thanks to 'Forefront Books and NetGalley for this free ARC in return for my honest review.

Adoption is a highly personalized topic and one that has major positives as well as drawbacks for the parties involved. In her new book, Abandoned at Birth, author Janet Sherlund takes us on her personal journey as an adopted child. Sherlund writes about the downside of adoption, something that she experienced firsthand as one of four adopted children in a family in the 1950s. Adoption at that time, it always been considered a closed matter. Once a child is put up for adoption, the records of shield and neither the parent nor the child will have access to those records. Lately things have changed, and there are a few states and now have open adoptions. But growing up for over 60 years without knowing anything about her mother put a hole into the authors, heart and soul. The other is lucky to have been adopted by a very upper middle-class family and received a quality college education. But despite the comfort of the home, there was always something missing for her. She felt different from her parents, she looked different from her parents, and she suffered from panic attacks and fear of desertion. Meanwhile, her attempt to contact her birth mother it the usual wall of silence and so despite a loving husband and two wonderful children, their Still was something missing. Luckily for her, she was able to connect with her natural father, who had no idea that he had a daughter. He welcomed her into his family, as did his children. Not so for her mother, and Sherlund how to eventually go to her half siblings to try to make contact with her natural mother. Those siblings were supportive of her also, but the tale does not end on a happy note. by the time, the author finally connects with her mother, that woman is 80 years old and really has wanted nothing to do with the daughter she put up for adoption. There are high points and low points in this saga, a story that is personal to the author. By the end, she has at least met her natural mother and father, along with all these new siblings, the one has to question whether or not that hole in her heart and soul has ever really been healed.

Thanks to NetGalley, the publishing company and or the author for giving me the opportunity to read and review Abandoned at Birth.

It was a decent book, it could have been better if it didn't have a bunch of bold letter B every couple of paragraphs, also the chapters just ran into each other which I didn't like not sure if the author or the editor realized that or not.

Note: Thank you to NetGalley, Moss Media Group, and Janet Sherlund for the advanced reader copy of the book. What follows is my unbiased review of the book.

If you begin reading the memoirs posted by adoptees, you'll begin to see the common theme that runs through them of not feeling whole, even if they are raised in families that love them and want them very much. In the case of adoptees, you'll begin to see that love does not erase the need to know one's connections on this earth.

Janet Sherlund was born in 1954, during the "baby scoop" era when many single girls who became pregnant were given little choice but to surrender their child for adoption. Sherlund was unique in that she grew up with three siblings, all of whom were adopted. Most of the time, adoptees are only children or have one brother or sister. Even with that common thread in the family, it seems like her mother, in particular, was not equipped to handle the issues that surround adoptees. There were also several times Sherlund recalls her mother saying things that hurt her terribly. However, it was her mother who prompted the family to adopt. Sherlund's father was reluctant, but it seems like, in the end, he was the one who loved his children unconditionally.

I have to say I could really relate to the feelings Sherlund describes in Abandoned at Birth. My mother did not treat me any differently than she would have her own child, but there were still issues surrounding being adopted that neither of us knew were there. Sherlund wanted to find a connection on this earth to someone, and it is hard for people to understand that who are surrounded by those that they share blood with. Sherlund loved her brothers and sister, but it is not the same.

When Sherlund decided to search in earnest, she sent a letter to the adoption agency she was placed through and was lucky enough to find out they were facilitating reunions between adoptees and their birthparents. Unfortunately, Sherlund's birthmother never answered the inquiries sent to her by the agency. It was only much later that she managed to find her birthfather, who never even knew she existed. He embraced her warmly, as did his children. Her birthmother remained an enigma, however. Eventually, one of the social workers at the agency prodded Sherlund that contacting her siblings on her mother's side was an option. It is through this that she eventually met her birthmother.

In many of the adoption communities online, there is a theme of people who want to end adoption. I know of many adoptees who were placed in homes that were abusive. At the time, the main qualification to adopt seemed to be income. Sherlund's book shows us that there will always be a need for adoption as there will always be people who can't or won't be a parent. It is after Sherlund meets her siblings on her birthmother's side that she realizes she grew up in a home that was much better than theirs, even if there were issues. Her siblings seemed to be of a mind that surrendering a child to adoption might have been what had hurt their mother so much and a reunion might soften her. That did not happen. Although the siblings seemed intent on helping both Sherlund and their mother, it became apparent to Sherlund that the woman was just going through the motions.

Abandoned at Birth is a great story of the need to know where one comes from and how that relates to our place in the world. It's also a story that shows not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Yes, there were plenty of babies during this time when women were forced to give up their children, but there were also plenty who didn't want to be a parent. I cried with Sherlund many times throughout the book as I could feel what she was going through. It tugs at the heartstrings as well as shows why adoption that is open and honest is in the best interests of the child being adopted.

Abandoned at Birth, by @janetsherlundofficial explores the inherent need adopted children have for a sense of belonging and the pain and courage that is required to discover their true identity. Adoption is often painted as a happy, inspirational act—a baby finds a family and lives happily ever after. But the truth is that adopted children experience displacement and rupture from their mother and that trauma can impact an individual for a lifetime.

Sherlund, who was given up for adoption within days of her birth, shares her journey for connection with her family of origin, and what it was like to have a “borrowed identity.” In poignant detail, Sherlund describes her quest to find out who she is, where she came from, and why she was given away. And she reveals the pain and courage required to discover one’s true identity. The insight Sherlund derived from her journey will encourage and console others on the same path, while examining the inherent need of all of us to belong, and understand our origins, our culture, and our genetic roots.

I read a lot of adoption memoirs, but one thing that really stood out to me in this one was the exploration into the impact adoption has on the adopted child and how this shapes their identity. Since Janet was adopted and grew up at a time where mental health was not discussed and theory around adoption and attachment was limited. Janet's self reflection and ability to be vulnerable and tell even the most difficult parts of her story can almost act as a case study for social workers and adoptive parents or other adoption stakeholders. I also really appreciated the discussion around the secrecy of adoption and why that is detrimental to everyone involved. In the past, this secrecy was of utmost importance, but even today there is a lot of secrecy around adoption, something that I think needs to be reconsidered.

Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for giving me the chance to read and review this book!

Abandoned at Birth – Janet Sherland - 2024 –
The author was born and adopted in 1954, when little was known about the impact of an infant being separated from his/her birth mother, possibly causing separation anxiety, other behavioral issues— later identified as a “primal wound” (1991). When Bob and Audrey adopted Sherland, they were an educated professional couple that adopted a total of four children. It seemed though that the new adoptive parents seemed more concerned with how children would elevate their social status and enhance their lives—not the other way around. Sherland adored her father and spent her childhood energy avoiding her adoptive mother’s volatile temper and fits of rage.

While attending Skidmore College, Saratoga Springs, NY it seemed that Sherland had an anxiety and/or depressive disorder, that was possibly related to her adoption and rooted in her inability to identify and relate to others in a healthier manner. Sherland had added her information on several adoption search and reunion registries and was dismayed and deeply hurt that her birthmother wasn’t registered or seeking to find her. Years later, after she had happily married and had children of her own, she located her birthfather and discovered that one of her half-sisters hadn’t spoken to their mother in several years. After being dismissed several times, Sherland's 81-year-old birthmother fianlly agreed to meet her. Despite the fact that not all adoptive stories end in Hallmark Moments, there are slivers of hope and happiness in unexpected family dynamics and connections. (3.5*GOOD) *With thanks to Forefront Books via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.

Review posted in the 100,000 member Facebook book review group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/126168734223817

Sherlund, Janet. Abandoned at Birth: Searching for the Arms that Once Held Me. Meryl Moss Media Group, 2024. Hardcover edition.

Reviewed By: Dr. Johnson C. Philip
My Star Rating Out of 5: ****

Having worked with an orphanage where countless children were given into adoption in the past, I got deeply interested in this book. In "Abandoned at Birth," Janet Sherlund talks about how adopted kids really want to feel like they belong somewhere and how hard it can be to find out who they really are.

People often think adoption is all about happiness - a baby gets a new family and everything is perfect. But the truth is, when a child is adopted, they might feel like they've lost something really important, and that feeling can stick with them for their whole life. It's not just hard for the adopted kid, but also for their birth parents and the parents who adopt them.

Janet Sherlund's book, "Abandoned at Birth," shows how tough adoption can be. She talks about feelings like rejection, sadness, and denial that many adopted kids and their families go through.

Sherlund was adopted just days after she was born. She writes about her journey to find her birth family, her longing to know her birth mom, and how it felt to not really know who she was. She shares all the hard parts of trying to figure out where she came from and why she was given away. And she shows how much courage it takes to find out who you really are.

With so many adopted people in the U.S. - about 5 million - and lots of them using DNA websites to find their biological families, "Abandoned at Birth" is an important book for our time. Sherlund's story can help others who are on the same journey feel understood and less alone. It also reminds us how much we all need to feel like we belong and know where we come from, whether it's our family, our culture, or our genes.

I read so many books about adoption each year and I found this title to be so interesting. It’s important that adopted people know their history and this book explores the hows and whys. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. The book is well researched and I enjoyed it.