\\\\\ 4.5 \\\\\

Listen... sometimes books resonate with you and this one was just that for me. I cannot express how much I loved it. It broached so many deep things and it also made me cry (note that I can count on the fingers of one hand the books that made me cry this year... so it's not that often that it happens). Anyways, I just recommend you grab this one and let yourself be swept away by the River Styx.

Read if you like:
LGBTQ+
YA Fantasy
Mythology
Hurt/Comfort
Deeply atmospheric
Emotional reads

I got hooked instantly by the unique world building of this one. From the first page I was pulled in and looking forward to knowing more about this fascinating story with a hint of mythology. The struggles Bastian was going through were breaking my heart but also made me feel seen. He is a powerful character and I was really invested in his story and hoping so damn hard he'll manage to get himself out of this darkness he was stuck in.

If you have ever experienced some anxiety or grief, you will for sure relate to parts of this story. It isn't easy subjects, but they are broached with care and thoughtfulness and it makes for a very enthralling read. It is a story about healing, about struggling to help others, but most of all, it's a story about love and hope. Bastian's friends and brother were there for him and truly part of this story, trying their best and not knowing how to help through this difficult situation. You could feel their helplessness deeply.

I love how Zan and Bastian's relationship was slowly developing and I was always looking forward to more of it. They found a love of living again and all of that through frozen memories of people that passed away. There was something deeply atmospheric about it and sadly beautiful as well. The switches between the two worlds was a very agreeable way to navigate this story. I feel like this book will stay with me for a long time.

Thanks to the author, PageStreetYA and ColoredPagesBookTour for my copy of the book. All opinions are my own.

Once upon a time, a boy named Alexander, Zan for short, made a deal with the old gods, the ones his mother believed in. He would take her place, if only they saved her life. One god, the Ferryman, answered Zan’s prayer, but required Zan to act as a guide for the dead for the next 500 years as payment, something no one else has ever come close to achieving.

Zan has spent the past 499 years escorting soul after soul across the River Styx and into the afterlife, and now is almost at the end of his term of service. There is one particular soul, already marked for death, that Zan needs to escort before he finally fulfills his obligation and gets to live again. The thing is, that one soul belongs to a boy named Sebastian “Bastian” Barnes. When Bastion appears in Zan’s office, he is wholly unlike any soul Zan has met before. Not just because Bastian is still alive–albeit marked for death–but because Bastion makes Zan feel human for the first time in nearly 500 years.

Six months ago, a traffic accident left Bastion’s world completely changed. He is still haunted by the loss of his mother, the smell of gasoline, and anything to do with motor vehicles. His twin brother, Dorian, and best friends, Riley and Mathias, tirelessly remind him that he is still alive, and yet Bastion struggles. On a whim, Bastion invests his portion of the insurance money from his mother’s death in an abandoned used bookstore. As he struggles to figure out what it means to be alive, he works on renovating the bookstore. At the same time, Bastion begins having extraordinarily vivid dreams. These dreams all revolve around a teenager named Zan who initially only wants to know Bastian’s name and location of death. Bastion eventually realizes these are lucid dreams where he can interact with Zan. Then Bastion wakes up in the real world holding an artifact from Zan’s dream world and, suddenly, Bastion is convinced Zan is very real. As the strange bruise Bastian’s had since the accident begins to grow, Bastion begins to realize his time on Earth is starting to dwindle. But after months of not caring about anything, Bastion also comes to realize that spending time with Zan is the one thing that makes life worth living. With the Ferryman’s demands for Bastion’s soul getting ever more insistent, Bastian and Zan will have to be extremely careful if they want to survive.

At the End of the River Styx is a contemporary urban fantasy set in Portland, Oregon. After a short prologue that establishes Zan’s deal with the Ferryman, the main story switches between Zan and Bastion as narrators. The two main characters and the worlds they inhabit are well established in the prose and, much like the characters they envelope, go through a transformation as the story goes on. Zan’s apparent reality is limited to the tiny office where he awaits the arrival of newly dead souls. He can escort them to and through their favorite memories en route to the Ferryman. The caveat is that the memories are only “alive” when the soul is traversing them, otherwise Zan only has access to static versions of these memories. I thought this was a deeply engrossing effect and when Bastion arrives–because Bastion is not actually dead yet–his memories are the only ones where things are never frozen.

Similarly, Bastion’s world of a prestigious prep school is largely gray and lifeless to him; Bastion cannot understand how he is supposed to fit in that world when he’s so overwhelmed with living. I thought it took longer for Bastian’s world to come to life, but it was all the sweeter for it…though also bittersweet, as Bastian comes to learn that his ever growing bruise is actually the Ferryman’s mark and, once it reaches his heart, his time will be up. The closer Bastian gets to Zan and the more their friendship grows, the more Bastian makes an effort at living, prodded in part by Zan encouraging him not to waste precious life.

I loved the tension present in the story. The End of the River Styx is a long, carefully and thoughtfully planned out exploration of an “either/or” trope, where either Bastion survives or Zan does. The problem is that I liked Zan and Bastion both. The action unfolds in a way that had me guessing who might purposefully (or accidentally…or accidentally on purpose) sacrifice himself for the other. Even as the ending came into focus during the last few pages, I loved being on my toes for all possible outcomes.

The romance that develops between Bastion and Zan is very subtle, but very sweet. I like the “no one but you” vibe Bastion has; he is, after all, the only not-dead-yet guest to ever visit Styx in 499 years, at least. Zan’s also an interesting love interest because he’s 516 years old; he knows a lot and has seen a lot. He also gets to contend with the reality that he’s not like any 17-year old. He knows too much of how Styx and the Ferryman operate and fears he’s become just like them. Their romance felt very friends-to-lovers, but shifts towards star-crossed lovers for me as the book nears the end.

Overall, I thought this was a marvelously imaginative read. I loved how the main characters and their worlds felt like such sharp contrasts, but contained so many parallels. As dissimilar as Bastion and Zan seem at first, the mystery around why Bastion is still alive brings and keeps them together. Through their relationship, both Bastion and Zan go on a journey of self-discovery and basically learn to be human again. If you enjoy emotional stories that blend the real world and mythology, impossible romance, and how deeply bittersweet life can be, I think you’ll enjoy The End of the River Styx.

Zan and Bastian's love swept me up and then destroyed me so hard; it was perfect and I'm here for everything Michelle writes forever!

It was a beautiful story of overcoming grief (and the survivor guilt and getting life back together) and I enjoyed it a lot! It's bittersweet and angsty and nicely written too.

Actual rating: 3.5/5

I very much want to highlight that this might simply be just the wrong book for me. A strong theme of this book is grief and dealing with post traumatic stress - I have not experienced either, so I cannot say how authentic it is. However, as far as I am able to judge, it does feel well presented and I think this story can resonate with readers who are looking for these themes in a story.

This is a very strong debut book - the writing is well done and it's largely well paced. There are times where I did find that it dragged a bit, but at the same time it was also adding to the atmosphere and how death slowly creeps in. Or main characters Bastian and Zan are well rounded, but I want to argue that this is more Bastian's than Zan's story. I honestly didn't always find Bastian likeable - he is very much stuck in his grief and is more often than not unpleasant to those around him. That being said, I did find it believable and I don't necessarily mean this as criticism; it is his way of dealing with grief, it just doesn't mean it's going to endear him to me. Zan has his own share of grief and I found him the more likeable of the two.

Speaking of likeable characters, I could never decide whether I liked Bastian's circle of friends or not. Some of them felt surplus, the others were important for Bastian's environment and story to unfold, but that also doesn't mean that I necessarily liked them. His brother Dorian is probably the one I liked most and I wish we had seen more of him rather than him just being pushed away over and over again. I also wasn't a fan of the drinking and drug usage, although it wasn't overly explicit. All the above is very much subjective to my personal reading taste - others may very well like these characters more than I did and will find the partying and consumption realistic. Non of this is meant to throw a poor light on this book, it's merely highlighting why it perhaps wasn't the right book for me.

However, what did ultimately not work for me in a way that I'd consider it criticism is the romance. I confess that I went into this expecting a tad more of it, and while there's definitely a love story at the heard of the story, this is very much first and foremost about Bastian's journey of healing. That it didn't have as much romance as I expected isn't the problem - I'll happily read a well thought out story without any romance whatsoever. But I found it a little hard to buy into - this could have been a very interesting and bittersweet romance, and yet I just did not feel any chemistry between the two. It took a long time before they were trying to get to know each other and after that it just seemed quite rushed and I just did not feel when things started to grow between them. I also felt there was a certain imbalance, as in, did they truly like each other or was it circumstances pushing them together? For example, Zan misses life as a human - he craves for someone to talk to. Enter Bastian, the first person in 499 years who he can have a proper conversation with. Now does he like Bastian for Bastian's sake or because he happens to be the first person he can talk to? Had there been more chemistry, I could have glanced over that but something about it just felt off to me.

And then there's the ending - it felt incomplete and and unsatisfying. I was stumped when I read The End and just found myself wondering - wait, that's it? I felt that there was no climax, neither for the romance nor any form of showdown that could have led to a satisfying conclusion. Many things felt left unresolved and while an ending doesn't always need to fit neatly together like a puzzle, I just found that something was lacking.

I would still recommend people to give this book a try - once again, this is by no means a bad book and a lot of what I Noted above is simply things not living up to my personal taste. I would still be willing to try more works by this author in the future, but I won't be revisiting this particular book.

“𝘼𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙘𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧?” 𝘽𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙚𝙩𝙡𝙮.
𝙕𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙨𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙚𝙯𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩. “𝙄’𝙙 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙚,” 𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙪𝙧𝙢𝙪𝙧𝙚𝙙.

I don’t read much YA, but this one was perfectly written! I stumbled upon this book through NetGalley and so glad to have the chance to ARC read it!

“At The End of the River Styx” is the story of Bastian and Zan. Zan, oh the sweet boy. I just love him. He’s got such a big heart, loyal, loves life, and just the guy Bastian needs in his life. He made a sacrifice years ago and is now an assistant to the Ferryman. He’s the one people meet before going to the afterlife. The one who Bastian keeps hearing in his nightmares for the past year.

Bastian has been through a lot in the past year. He doesn’t feel worthy of life after escaping death, and slowly going off the deep end. That is until he meets Zan. The more Bastian dreams, the closer he gets to Zan. Together, they live a thousand lives. But all good things must come to an end, and Zan has the ultimate choice to make that’ll affect both their lives.

This book was a ride and so good. This book deals with loss of a loved one, how beautiful life can be, and love. I would say this book ends with a HFN. I truly love this book for everything it is. The story was so unique and well written. Highly recommend if you’re looking for something different with all the feels!

3.5/5
"Bastian, you need to live. You have your bookstore, and your cat. You have people who love you. You can't give that up, not for me, not for anyone."

Bastian is struggling with survivor's guilt after coming out alive in a car crash that killed his mother. In his turmoil of grief and trauma of the accident he impulse buys a bookstore with the life insurance money hoping it will give him something to live for. But ever since the accident he's been having weird vivid dreams of being in an office and another boy talking to him.
"Name and location of death?"

499 years ago Zan made a deal with the Ferryman to save his own mother - process souls for the monstrous being for 500 years and then he's free. There's a boy though who keeps appearing then disappearing. A soul that was meant to not have lived but is still holding on. Each time they meet Zan learns more about Bastian and realizes that he is not ready for Bastian to die just yet.

This was a really emotional read and most of the story centered around Bastian and his grief. It was interesting the way grief was portrayed and I appreciated the author not holding back with showing that. Bastian was the prime example of someone with self-destructive behavior and as a reader you really have to step back and try to understand. There are moments when Bastian really frustrates you in how he treats his friends and most importantly his twin brother who is constantly reaching out. There is even a scene in which a friend snaps at him and delivers some hurtful words in retaliation.
With a friend like Bastian who struggles with ptsd and relies on impulsive behaviors and risky relationships you see that and want to knock some sense into him.

As someone who has seen this in person it was very powerful and I'm happy this was written as YA because teens are at times overlooked with this type of behavior as just being "rebellious" and being young/dumb.

While I can appreciate the story and themes this had taken on I was unfortunately not that gripped by the execution of it all. This felt like a long book and at times I was bored/wanting to skim some parts. This could just not have been for me since I can see this book is well loved from early reviews. Zan and Bastian's relationship was very sweet but it started off later in the book which had me wishing they could have met earlier to really get that established better throughout the story instead of later on towards the end. Oh the end... the ending was a miss for me as well which is why I had this docked lower. It really felt random and...unfair for a certain character. I'm hoping maybe a sequel could wrap it up nicer? But I can also see why the author chose to end it how they did. Maybe that also was just not for me haha.

Overall this was a bittersweet book and it did a great job with handling grief and survivor's guilt for younger audiences. I also loved the friendships here and the community Bastian had to help him through it all.

Sooo I like this but I’m not in the right mental space for a book with this much grief. We’re in present day but it’s set in two different worlds, Portland and The Styx. The boy in Portland just lost his family less than a year ago and is having trouble moving past that. He’s a senior in high school and barely scraping by. He’s having nightmares of a river every night and it’s a very lucid dream where he can interact with the surroundings but no one ever hears him and it’s spooky. Then in The Styx we have our other MC who sells his soul to the ferryman in the prologue to save his mom and he’s been there for 499 years. He’s only indebted for 500 so he’s about to be freed soon but he has his own demons and sadness from the path his life took based on the decisions he made in the prologue and he’s so lonely. He can feel the Portland boy’s presence every time he dreams but they haven’t been able to interact. Technically that means that the Portland boy has to be teetering on death because the Styx is where souls in limbo go before they die. The Styx MC entertains himself by living in people’s memories but they are like still pictures and he can just look but never actually interact with the people in them.

I find this story really interesting so far and it’s definitely kept my attention but I am struggling because of how sad both main characters lives are and I am not in the right mood for something like this. I also assume before release day all the formatting errors will be taken care of but they are really distracting right now and making it even harder for me to want to keep reading another 300 pages of this.

At the End of the River Styx follows Bastian, a high school senior who lost his mother in a car accident he walked away from, and Zan, the Ferryman’s indebted assistant who traded his life for his mother’s. Their paths cross when Bastian begins showing up in Zan’s office, meaning he has been marked for death by the Ferryman. After 499 years of his 500 year service, if Zan can’t lead Bastian’s soul to the Styx, he’ll never get his life back—but Bastian just might end up being worth the sacrifice.

I’ve seen this book marketed as a romance—and it definitely has one—but at its core, I think, is a story about grief. I’ll avoid spoilers, but it touches on survivor’s guilt especially hard, as well as how the loss of the same mother affects siblings differently. That aspect was much more prevalent in my experience reading the book. I didn’t find the characters had too much chemistry as lovers, but it didn’t really bother me as it didn’t read (in my experience) as the main point of the story. In addition to heavy loss and grief, sacrifice is a big topic from Zan’s side of things. I think these two themes were done very well and meshed cohesively together.

As you could guess, the novel is an interpretation of Charon (the Ferryman). It is a loose one in my opinion. I found it inspired by the (majority Greek) mythos rather than based directly on it. It’s even mentioned in the text that there are many different interpretations of Charon across cultures and time. To me, the Styx elements were just an intriguing background for a story centered around the aforementioned grief.

The side characters were charming enough. I felt repeatedly bad for Dorian, Bastian’s twin brother who consistently makes attempts to reach out to Bastian and share their grief in a realistic way. He isn’t mentioned in the blurb, but he’s so important to Bastian’s story that I couldn’t leave him out.

Overall I think this is definitely worth checking out if you like bittersweet, character-driven stories!

Rating: 3.5 stars

"So, you spend your time here trying to die."
↳ "No, I spend my time trying to remember what it felt like to be alive."

synopsis:
This story follows Bastian, who gets into a tragic car accident and loses his mother. He's grieving, and is struggling with his guilt of being the one to survive. After the accident, he starts having nightmares of a place called Styx where he meets another boy, Zan, who informs him he should be dead and claims he must lead him to his death. Bastian starts to realize these aren't nightmares, and he's caught somewhere in between being alive and dead.

review:
I have many thoughts on this story. I really loved the concept, the idea, and felt Bastian was very relatable as a character. I enjoyed the growth his character had. Watching him go from not really wanting to live, to finding hope again and trying to enjoy life again. I enjoyed seeing the progress for his bookstore and watching that come to life through his eyes. I liked the humor in this story as well. I laughed out loud, and enjoyed some of the silly back and forth between him and his friends.

I feel like the topic of grief is not something well discussed in young adult novels, and I really enjoyed seeing this explored in this story. It felt very real and relatable, and I felt like the author really painted the image of how Bastian was feeling well. And even the conversations he was having with friends was incredibly frustrating, but those conversations are things that definitely happen. This story truly demonstrated how hard it is to be on the receiving end of that treatment, while someone is also just struggling to be okay again.

I also really enjoyed the relationship between Bastian and Zan. I enjoyed watching their friendship grow and turn into something more. I loved the conversations they had with each other, and I really just loved both of these characters very much. I thought their dynamic, the progression of their relationship, and their moments together were perfect.

"You've never had cinnamon gum?"
↳ "I've lived 499 years on a dead river escorting dead people to a literal god of dead souls. It's not exactly a bountiful land of plenty. And this is disgusting. Truly disgusting."

What I struggled with was the pacing of this story and the ending felt a bit abrupt. I also think more time should have been focused on Zan's and Bastian's relationship. I felt like it only started to develop towards the end, and more time could have been spent fleshing that out. I do understand that this story's main focus was Bastian and his grief, but I just felt like there was so much potential with their relationship.

Overall, I enjoyed Bastian as a character, his relationship with Zan, and the development of his bookstore. I was left with wanting more from Zan and Bastian, and I still feel uncertain about that ending. REGARDLESS, this was an intriguing story with some laughs and also some very heart wrenching moments. Will definitely be looking forward to other novels by this author in the future ♥

Thank you Netgalley and Page Street Publishing for this e-arc.

This is such a unique story and very different from anything I've read before. Styx bounces between the POVs of Bastian and Zan. Bastian survived a car accident where his mother died and that he feels responsible for. He's floating through life without much direction. Zan is bound to the River Styx and must deliver souls that got stuck on the way to heaven or hell for a term of 500 years; he's on year 499 at the time of the story.

These two should have never crossed paths, but Bastian keeps appearing in Zan's realm because he was actually supposed to die in the accident, too. Bastian doesn't want to die. Zan wants his freedom but doesn't want Bastian to die, either. They form a relationship while trying to sort through these things and the fact that they do not exist in the same place. This leads to an interesting perspective on grief and moving on.

Thanks to Page Street Publishing and NetGalley for an eARC of this book for an honest review.

Sweet and aching. Tender and full of grief. I really liked the main characters and enjoyed watching them grow together but I’m not sure how I feel about the ending and overall the book felt like it took a bit too long for anything to happen.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ / 3.75 stars
Thank you to the author for providing me with an eARC of this book via TBR and Beyond Tours in exchange for an honest review!

At the End of the River Styx is a story about two boys, born 500 years apart. Zan helps guide souls for the Ferryman and Bastian griefs after surviving a car accident. Death marks Bastian, causing him to show up in Zan’s office whenever he falls asleep.

“I spend my time trying to remember what it felt like to be alive”

I hadn’t really heard of this book before, but reading what it was about, I was very intrigued and wanted to dive into this book!
The books starts off very slow, but you immediately get a good feel for both the characters and their lives. Zan, who works and is almost at the end of his 500-year curse while Bash struggles with survivors guilt. It was a slow, but great introduction.
I found the concept of the Ferryman very intriguing! I liked the idea that not all souls immediately went to Heaven or Hell and needed help being guided. I liked how, before coming before the Ferryman, the souls would relive one last memory.
Zan was an interesting character, being cursed for almost 500 years after sacrificing his life for his mother, he lives through the memories of the souls he guides. It’s amazing to see him come alive the moment he meets Bastian and his longing for being human, not wanting to be lonely, is very real. Bastian is a complicated character and so real in every sense! His struggles with panic attacks, the survivors guilt, his struggles in life, and his love for books; it made him relatable and super complete as a character that you can’t help but root for.
The friendship that builds between Zan and Bash is so beautiful! I love how it slowly developed and how they slowly opened up to each other! It was beautiful and heartfelt and made me smile, despite them being star-crossed lovers!
Despite how much I loved the story and the execution of it all, the ending didn’t do it for me at all. I hate how this book ended… to me, it felt very unsatisfactory and didn’t do the amazing book justice at all.
Overall, At the End of the River Styx is a very emotional and beautifully written book, with an ending that didn’t do it for me






<spoiler> you can’t make me fall in love with these characters, make me root for them and then NOT give them their happy ever after! I hated it! </spoiler>

This tale of star-crossed lovers was surprisingly enjoyable for me, someone who craves the happily ever after. Zan and Bastian have both suffered so much. Bastian is struggling with PTSD after he blames himself for the car wreck that claimed his mother’s life and, briefly, his own. It is difficult but realistic to watch this bright student fail in school, isolate himself from loved ones, and seek release from the nightmares that plague him. Zan is lovable, and who wouldn’t want to root for the boy who spent 499 years in servitude to save his mother and siblings, and has a soft spot for a marked boy who reminds him what it feels like to be human, to be seen? As the boys grow closer to each other in stolen moments and memories, things in their personal lives spiral out of control, but I’m still left with hope that these two will find healing and happiness. A beautiful look into the messy aftermath of trauma, with a sweet love story and friendships that remind us that other people can help us through life even when they can’t fix everything. Thank you NetGalley and Page Street Publishing for this ARC.

It is a slow-burn/slow-pacing novel, but slow in this case is the best pacing for this theme: death of a parent, grieving, and guilt. Two brothers are dealing with the death of their mother. One feels guilty for her death (Bastian) and can't cope with it as well as the other.

I love that Bastian at the age of 18 is rehabilitating a bookstore, although he has no plans for his future. Somehow, it is as if he is hugging himself, anchoring himself to life. He is carrying too much guilt.

I liked Zan (he traded places with his mother more or less 400 years ago and now serves the underworld) he appeared to Bastian in his dreams and Zan was assigned to bring Bastian from the living world. I like his struggle. He hesitates and relates to Bastian.

I also like Bastian's best friend Riley. She keeps him with a foot in daily life.

*I received a digital ARC from the author and Page Street YA via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.*

Content warning: Death of a loved one, thoughts of death and dying, fear, body horror, substance use, car accident.

At the End of the River Styx is the kind of story that slips into the spaces of your heart, where hurt, and fear, and loneliness live, and slowly brings those feelings out of the darkness, so that your heart begins to beat faster. It reminds you to live.

Bastian is the heart of this book. Having been though something so traumatic – to lose his mom, and believe he’s the reason she died. To carry that burden, and then be haunted by restless dreams, with no relief with sleep. He has no way to know what’s real. Even though he has people around him who love him, he still feels alone. His brother somehow seems to be able to move forward, but he feels like all he does is fail. It’s heartbreaking, and the best part of the book for me was watching him carve a space for himself (reluctantly), building a possible future he can live with, if he can hope to live. Trying not to be hopeful, but hoping anyway.

Zan is a mystery at first. We know that he has sacrificed himself so his mother can live. The deal he made with the Ferryman was worth it, but is costing him his humanity. He is so close to being finished his servitude, to get a second chance at life. But when we meet him, he is not really living. He’s sifting through people’s dead memories, looking for ways to feel something. When he meets Bastian, it’s like he comes alive. He is known. He is seen. He exists as more than as the Ferryman’s guide to death.

This book is about a lot of things. It’s about the dark feelings that can come when you feel alone, when you can’t see clearly because you feel like you’re drowning. It’s about friends who love you and annoy you with their caring – who remind you that you’re worth keeping. It’s about the complicated relationship between brothers, and how when you’ve shared so much, it’s hard to look at what was lost. It’s about toxic people who see your darkness and want you to revel in it. It’s about a bookstore, and libraries, and love for books, and The Little Prince. And walking through memories, and falling in love.

I went into this book knowing I would cry, and somehow I didn’t until the very last line. I think it’s because the writing was so beautiful, or else I was just so present with the characters, so tuned into what was happening, that I was able to face it. But wasn’t until the very end, the quiet beat, where it hit me so hard.

It’s because of this: Life is worth living, even when you don’t have a lot of time left. Even when your fate is sealed. Books that remind me of that get a special place in my heart. LOVE ANYWAY.

Thank you so much to Page Street YA and NetGalley for the arc.

Holy crap. This book.

Zan and Bastien have my whole heart and soul. The way this book was written has me crying in the club. Truly this could be taken as everything was real or this was Bastiens way of letting go of his grief and guilt.

I am DEMANDING that people read this book. The vulnerability, the queerness, the FREAKING BEAUTY THIS BOOK HAS. Just makes me fucking cry. Please please PLEASE read this.

I love how this is a combo of originality, The Midnight Library and SoA.

I am a huge fan of Greek mythology, and this queer retelling based on the myth of the ferryman of the river styx did not disappoint. This book was hopeful, sweet and full of grief - I cried ALOT - but it was sad in the absolute best of ways. If any of this is interesting to you, I highly recommend it!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for this ARC in exchange for my honest review!!

Going in, I knew I was ready to cry reading this. Dealing with grief and guilt, Bastion was a character that you want to just give a big hug to. Zan was equally as lovable. They both have been through so much and still found a way to anchor each other. I actually cried a little near the end with it being so bittersweet. The character development for Bastion was great, and I was glad he had such a strong friend group and his brother to help him. The things he’d been through I can’t even imagine. This was such a beautiful look at love and learning to move on and let go. I can’t wait to read more from this author in the future.

I LOVED THIS BOOK. I LOVED IT SO MUCH. DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVED IT?

In all seriousness, At the End of the River Styx may be my favorite YA fantasy read of the entire year (and it has some steep competition!). It was queer, it was heartbreaking, it was beautiful, it was utterly magical, and its characters and their stories will remain etched upon my brain forever.

At the End of the River Styx finds Bastian, an 18 year old living in modern day Portland, burdened with grief and guilt over his mother's death and struggling to move forward (unlike his twin brother Dorian). In a last ditch effort to make something of his life, Bastian uses his inheritance money to purchase and renovate an old rundown bookstore. However, Bastian doubts he will live to see it open because he knows deep down that he was not meant to live through the car accident that took his mother and his continuous dreams of purgatory are not helping to change his mind. Zan is a young man trapped in a 500-year sentence of servitude in exchange for his mothers life to guide souls who are stuck in between life and death to be consumed by the mythical Ferryman. Zan is near the end of his 500 year deal when one boy’s soul keeps turning up in the Styx but disappears before he can log it and take it to the Ferryman. Completing this task is crucial–if he fails, Zan will forfeit his own soul and lose his final chance at freedom. Yet, as his bond with this boy deepens, so does the realization that in order for either of them to live, one of them must die.

What stands out the most about this book is how masterfully the author handles themes of grief and loss while providing one of the most authentic portrayals of post traumatic stress disorders that I have ever seen (Mental Health Therapist here so authenticity in these portrayals is important to me). The journey these characters go through is painful, but it’s handled with such care that it never feels gratuitous and the character relationships and strong sense of found family and the love, support, and warmth they bring to each other is beautifully woven into the narrative and provides a much needed balance to the darker themes.

Secondarily, the vividness in which Kulwicki describes Zan and Bastian navigating through their own memories and memories of others passing through the Styx is utterly enchanting. Whether it was a visit to a carnival, an ancient library, a hike through the forest, or playing games at an old thrift store from Bastians childhood, these scenes are painted with such detail that the settings seem just as alive as the characters themselves. I could have honestly spent 50 chapters more just watching their bond grow through these experiences.

While the ending didn’t resolve in the way I had hoped, I cannot deny the emotional impact it had on me regardless. Sometimes, a story’s power lies not in the resolution but in the journey and At the End of the River Styx is a journey I would gladly take again and again.

Thank you to Page Street YA and ColoredPages Book Tours for the opportunity to read At the End of the River as an advanced reader – though my heart may never be the same!