DNF’d at 43%

I wanted to love this book but it was very different from how I thought it was going to be, and I just couldn’t get into it.

I was (stupidly) expecting more of a focus on the mythology and the impossible love between a (kinda) living boy and a dead one,,, but this is very much an introspective take on grief 1 year and 499 years after tragic loss.

Which is fine! If you’re into that! I’m not lol. There was just too much down time spent either wallowing in Bastian’s feelings while he pushed away his friends, or reading about how tired he was while he struggled not to pass out, or walking through memories while Zan thought about how full of life they used to be but how frozen they are now. Theoretically I understand what the author is doing here, it’s just not being done for me lolol.

Also, is it sad that almost halfway through I barely cared about Bastian and Zan together, but was more interested in the trash fire that was every one of Bastian and Greer’s interactions? I feel like I could really enjoy a book about a grieving kid letting the mean guy suggestively ruin his life further, you know?

Giving it a 2.5 over all, rounding up to a 3 cause I know to the right person this will probably be really good to read.

This book walked me through so many emotions— to the point of tears. Like I’m still crying. 😭 Both happy & sad tears. Incredible. Absolutely incredible.

Thank you to NetGalley, the author, & publisher for the opportunity to read this book early!!

𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫
𝓶𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓼:

499 years ago Zan sacrificed his life to save his dying mother.
He has one year left of servitude…processing souls for the Ferryman.
Bastian is a living young man who has major survivor’s guilt.
And he’s marked for death.

𝘽𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙣 𝘽𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙨.
𝘼 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙡 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚.

This isn’t an easy read.
It’s heavy with grief and depression and failure.
The pages are draped in sadness and helplessness.

I think that’s what makes the interactions between Zan and Bash so much brighter.
Two lost, sad, lonely boys.
One who wants to live but has to serve Death.
One who wants to die but keeps escaping Death.
The EMOTIONS, y’all.
I cried so many times for both boys.

When Bash finally breaks.
My friggin HEART. 💔

And the sacrifice Zan made in the end?
Incredible. 😭

I feel like the ending isn’t the ending.
Time moves differently, remember?
I truly hope we get another book for these two, but for now, I leave you with this…

𝙄 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙧, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨, 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙗𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧.

𝓻𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮: September 24, 2024
𝙄 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙚𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙮 𝙘𝙤𝙥𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙤𝙤𝙠. 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙤𝙬𝙣.

Not going to lie, I wasn’t expecting this to be such an emotional read. It was well written I felt so bad for the main characters. This story is about love and struggling with grief. As someone who has been through trauma (although different from the MC), I felt like I could really relate to the story and how the main character was feeling. It was really an excellent read.

4.5 stars

Very emotional and touching YA novel dealing with death, grief, and survivor’s guilt. Bastien was in a car accident with his mother and twin brother; while the boys survived, their mother did not and Bastien was marked for death by the ferryman. Now, he keeps dreaming of the River Styx, where the Ferryman’s secretary—an 18 year old boy who made a deal to serve him for 500 years and has grown numb to the day to day reality—tries to figure out why Bastien isn’t following the normal procedure for the recently deceased.

I think this shines the most in the scenes depicting the memories of those who passed on. Bastien and Zan’s exploration of the various memories left throughout the years. They are joyous, sad, funny. The scenes where Bastien is struggling in the real world provide such a contrast.

I would recommend this for fans of The Midnight Library, or YA readers who want to delve into topics of grief.

This book emotionally destroyed me in the best way possible. It is such a raw, beautiful story about grief and love and healing, and I loved every page. Zan and Bastian stole my heart, with their sweet romance and individual journeys. I especially loved Bastian’s development as he healed both himself and his relationships. And as he repaired and opened his bookstore. The bookstore was so amazing, though my favorite setting(s) of the book were the memories Bastian and Zan would visit. Of course, I also liked Zan’s office, with all his knick knacks and glasses. As for the writing, I thought the book was near perfectly paced to allow for the growth of Zan and Bastian’s relationship, while still having a strong outside threat and tension. So overall I loved the prose, I loved the settings, I loved the characters. The only part of the book I didn’t completely adore with was the ending. While it was fitting, it wasn’t how I wanted the book to end. But in all this book was absolutely amazing and I highly highly recommend it.

This is a beautiful look at grief and love and finding yourself through both. It's amazingly readable and the prose is so lush and full of emotion. The worldbuilding is so fun, with the theme of the ferryman myth, and the ability to travel through memories. I loved all of it so much!

The title and the cover of this book really caught my eye and captivated me. I found myself thinking about it and wondering what the story was going to be about. Once I started reading, I discovered the story was about grief and it just felt so fitting. The use of mythology with the combination of grief and the world building was so unique. I haven't come across a book that intertwined everything together like this. This book has two main characters, Bastian struggles with survivor's guilt because his mother died in a car accident and he wishes it could have been him instead. And Zan, who guides souls through the river Styx. Their two worlds collide when Bastian one day appears in Zan’s office, but the weird thing is, Bastian isn’t dead. That alone should be convincing enough to pick up this book! It's so tragically captivating. Couldn't put it down!
Thank you Netgalley for the advanced e-book copy of At the End of the River Styx by Michelle Kulwicki.

This book delivered a beautiful and honest take on grief and healing through love and acceptance. I loves the main two boys and wanted to hug the shit out of them so many times. The sadness from both boys was so heartbreaking. Not only them but the twin (Dorian) had such a sad feeling of powerlessness at grieving yourself and watching someone you love (all you have left too after their mothers death) fall apart when all you can do and want to do is grieve together. The ferryman was also a cool concept for a villain in that he wasn’t around as much as I thought and felt more like a jump scare at times like I forgot he was there and then bam here I am!

I just couldn’t get into this one. I think the writing was lovely and the concept was interesting but the bleakness and the self hatred made it really hard for me to connect with and I found myself skimming full passages trying to find a part I was enjoying.

Not a bad book just not for me

What if you were looking for a reason to love being alive again, but the reason you found would result in the end of your life?

At the End of the River of Styx falls in between four and five stars for me. I was given this book as an ARC by NetGalley and Page Street Publishing, so thank you to them as well as the author!

Author Michelle Kulwicki mixes elements of fantasy ano mythology with contemporary romance to deliver a powerful story about grief, loss, survivors guilt, and sacrifice.

This story follows two young men who are caught in a web of depression and isolation. Even though they share many similarities, they are in two entirely different situations but looking for the same thing: a way to feel alive again.

The characters are all very enjoyable. The two MMCs make you want to hug them, but they also make you laugh and frustrate you. There are a handful of side characters too that are pleasant additions to the story's dynamic.

"Lack of water can kill a person in three days. Loneliness is just as deadly."

At of the End of the River of Styx is haunting, inspiring, and contemplative. I think the author was able to give us a real glimpse inside of the minds and hearts of people who are suffering and don't know how to bear it. The ending HURT and I'm hoping it's not quite the end of this story?

This book was such an interesting one with the 2 boys each having their own povs. You have Zan who helps the Ferryman by escorting those who've died to the River Styx. Then you have Bastian who is very much living but was in a horrible accident where he should have died. The two end up first being friends and then later lovers but they are trying to avoid the Ferryman who wants to take Bastian on the river Styx. I really enjoyed this book couldn't put it down

A book with a really unique world building, switching between two different planes of existence (lacking a better description for it), which has a strong symbolism as Bastian struggles to move on with his life after the accident that took his mother away from him.

His lifeline is death's threshold: the River Styx, where he goes every time he dreams, and finds meaning in life again in the sad and charming Zan, who has been trapped for 500 years to serve the cruel Ferryman.

The book is mostly sad with glimmers of hope, as the author focuses a lot on grief and the long way to overcome it.

The reason I'm not giving it a 5-stars is that I didn't like the ending. I have a rule that the ending makes or breaks a book: it can make its weak parts be forgiven or cause its suspense and strong emotions to turn to disappointment for me. The rating will change to 5-stars if there is a direct sequel, otherwise I'm not satisfied with the outcome.

Thank you NetGalley and Page Street Publishing for the ARC!

firstly, thank you to the publisher for an arc!

sadly, dnf’d @39%

i really wanted to enjoy this queer romance featuring two grieving young boys (i mean, who doesn’t love a good angsty romance?), but the pacing was far too slow for my liking. the concept was very interesting but, in my opinion, was executed poorly.

i’m positive this book will find its audience, but it wasn’t me.

This is such a poignant and gripping book! I've been hearing the hype around STYX for a while a now and I totally get it. Both PoVs, Zan and Bastian, are equally compelling and wrapped in their own grief and places of being stuck. The characters, their backstories, the settings--it's all rendered with great care and detail. But there are also light and tender moments filled with joy! I love the Magic and Animal Crossing references, and Fox Bookstore feels so lovely and special. Definitely a must-read book for this year!

Thank you to Netgallery and Page Street YA for an early release copy of At The End Of The River Styx by Michelle Kulwicki.

At The End Of The River Styx had me hooked from the prologue! The Ferryman, Styx, the memories, and the manner in which the author shows Bastian getting closer and closer to death is neat read about. I loved these characters, the emotions that they show towards one another especially between Dorian and Bastian they felt genuine when reading. These two brothers clearly are worried about each other but have different ways of showing/struggling to show it, I can see the miscommunication between the two bothering some readers but I didn’t mind it too much.

The friendships here were enjoyable to read about, I liked Riley and her parents, I didn’t mind Mathias he’s a nice character but he doesn’t particularly stand out to me when I think of this book. I loved the dynamic between Zan and Bastian, we get some cutesy, and plenty of emotional scenes between these two. I really feel for these characters and grown to love them during my time of reading At The End Of The River Styx, This one took me a while to read only because I didn’t want it to end, I would absolutely read more from these characters/author. Maybe we’ll get a second book or a spin off with Riley/Dorian!

(Side Note:This book deals with a lot of grief, trauma, death of a parent via car accident, drug use, underage drinking.)

My heart!!!!

This book was full of so much grief as Bastian struggles with survivor's guilt and wants nothing more than to have been the one who died rather than his mother. Then there’s Zan, who lives along the river Styx guiding those who’ve died to the Ferryman. Their worlds collide when Bastian one day appears in Zan’s office, but the weird thing is, Bastian isn’t dead.

Prior to reading this I had never heard of the Ferryman myth, but Greek mythology has always been interesting to me. It was such a compelling addition to the story and really heightened your feel for the characters. The agony of Zan being stuck working under the Ferryman for nearly 500 years alone made my heart wrench.

The writing in this story was so lush it was almost as if I was watching everything pan out right in front of me. I could feel the character’s fear of the Ferryman simply from the way his presence was described. The emotions also really jumped off the page. There was such emotional whiplash throughout the story, I would be smiling along with the characters but then next thing you know my heart would feel like it was being ripped out of my chest. I was so invested in everything and couldn’t help but yearn for the two of them to end up happy.

My favorite element of the story was definitely the traveling through memories, it was so magical! Although it is a bit grim to think of it as someone's last dying thought of happiness. The development of Bastian’s character was also extremely well done. At the start of the story he is very standoffish and borderline unlikable but it’s due to the grief of his mother and guilt overtaking him. Once meeting Zan and going to the Styx you can see his perspective and attitude sort of change for the better.

The ending is very bittersweet and leaves you to your own interpretation which sort of pained me. Overall, At the End of the River Styx was remarkable and unique making it definitely one to remember! Thank you so much to Page Street Publishing and NetGalley for providing me with this arc.

An emotional ride! I would like to personally thank Michelle Kulwicki for my tears. I've read a lot of books that have dealt with grief thematically this year, and I think Kulwicki may be among the best! Job very well done. Very memorable reading experience.

“Zan didn’t listen because he had his own rule on Styx. Don’t give up.” 🖤

At the End of the River Styx tells the story of two boys, Zan, who made a deal to serve the Ferryman for 500 years to save his mother’s life, and Bastian, who blames himself for the death of his mother.

As soon as I saw the cover art and description of this book, I knew it was one that I’d fall hard for. The portrayal of grief and healing felt raw and authentic. The world building… Zan’s office, memories frozen in time… was original and a place I wanted to lose myself in. This book, this author, these characters officially have my heart and a permanent place on my bookshelf.

This was a beautiful, raw story that centres on grief. I lost a close relative a few months ago and I could relate to Bastian's state of mind. I loved how the mythology was interwoven with the story, as Bastian battled with whether he could find his way through his grief and remember how to live, or whether it was easier to simply let go. The author did a great job of portraying this mystical hidden world where souls pass through, and the description of people's memories/lives was very vivid. The relationship between Bastian and Zan was touching; they both needed each other. The ending was pretty heart-wrenching and yet it was fitting.

All in all, I was fully absorbed in Bastian's story, and aside from a few minor pacing issues, this is a wonderful debut. Definitely recommended!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.