Want to read a book that feels like an insane fever dream? This is the book for you.

I had a pretty hard time following along with this book, and honestly couldn't quite catch on to what was going on until near the end. It's like if you mixed horror, elder scrolls lore, and gravity falls together. It's a lot.

But what I will say is I enjoyed the process of getting through the book. All the "wtf is going on" moments are what pushed me to give this book three stars. The characters and idea are very new and interesting, I just wish the plot made more sense.

Having come across a few unique books before, I assumed from both the cover design and content that this one would be something strange. I was ready for that. What I didn't expect was the sheer intensity and depth of the weirdness or the level of idiosyncrasy...

The story revolves around two main characters: Noah and Malachia. Noah, the more human-like of the two, wants to quit his cleaning job after dealing with unknown blood and teeth at a bus station. The situation is so dire that he decides to change careers. He finds a newspaper ad for a salesman position and heads to the job interview, hoping for a better, less gruesome occupation. Malachia, on the other hand, hails from a surreal world where buildings are made of bones, divine monsters roam, and mocking darkness threatens to consume everything. Malachia keeps moving forward, constantly searching for something, though it's hard to say what.

I was prepared for a so-called weird story, but this took it to a whole new level—perhaps too much for my taste. The narrative was difficult to follow and, to be honest, challenging to read. The sentences were insanely long, often without a single comma. Font sizes changed randomly, and the footnotes were filled with very random notes or observations. The book had few dialogues, many descriptions, and inner thoughts, making it a laborious read. The characters were incomprehensible to me, blending into one another at times. The frequent use of the word "fuck" quickly lost its impact.

In addition to switching POVs between the two main characters, the book also featured pages from a newspaper printed by Noah's new job, which were perhaps the highlight of the read. Although the content was almost incomprehensible, the strange ads and pictures held a certain fascination. There were plenty of teeth, both in the text and in the images. The diary of someone embarking on an adventure to an island ends unexpectedly and confusingly. The classified ads had a slightly scary and dark undertone.

All in all, this book has a very cool cover design, but unfortunately, the content pales in comparison. It's difficult to recommend, except perhaps to those seeking a bizarre reading experience or art students looking for dark inspiration.

Thank you so much, NetGallery and Unbound, for this unique reading experience!

Review in Estonian (Aug 15, 2024): https://brixieblog.wordpress.com/2024/08/15/hot-singles-in-your-area-jordan-shiveley/

Noah is a dissolute young man who needs a job. He gets one with ‘Printed Matter’, a local freesheet; which is a front for an organisation that contains something a lot more mysterious than missing dogs and items for sale.

If you were looking for something that was Harry Potter for grownups (and slightly less hateful), a little Lovecraftian and with a hint of Pratchett and Gaiman, you might find it here. It’s weaknesses for me lie in its structure - the three POV construction seems too episodic. See also, it’s use of pages from the newspaper itself, repeated words and illustrations use up what is an already short page count (just under 200).

It’s emblamatic of an idea that could have done with more work and space. It’s a weird read that some will find wonderful, but not for me. It’s released by Unbound on 7th November and I thank them for a preview copy. #hotsinglesinyourarea.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for sending this arc in exchange for an honest review.

I think the digital format for this book really didn’t work. The use of paper cutouts and other prints didn’t really translate to kindle version. I think because of that I kinda missed what the story was about.

It took me for example a long time to realize about the second pov and I still didn’t really understood what the plot was.

Thank you Netgalley, Unbound books and Jordan Shiveley for the arc of Hot Singles in Your Area.

This narrative follows 2 POV's, Noah and Malachia both very different entities. Noah who has just started working at Printed Matter, without an interview and thrown in at the deep end. Malachia an entity from another world that seems to overlap and mingle with ours, Together they are thrown together in a world of an empty, weird city of bone architecture.

It took me a little while to settle into the narrative as it didn't seem to flow in the first 3rd of the book. It did pick up as the 2 POV merged together which gave some great dark humour and body horror. I felt like I bonded with both characters in the last 3rds of the book so I was happy that I pushed through. I really enjoyed the news articles and the additions that weren't typed pages

I can see why this maybe a marmite book for some. As I did feel that there was almost some plot line or character building missing. I wonder if we might get a 0.5 book to fill in the gaps as Id like to see more character development for both Noah and Malachia

3 stars

Unfortunately, I won't finish this book because of the file format. Personally, I always read digital books on my e-reader and have never had a problem with it. Although PDF is usually the worst format for the e-reader because it doesn't let me choose the typeface and its size, this one was particularly bad because whenever I encountered one of the pages with the printed magazine ads it would crash. I tried to see where these problematic pages ended on my computer and skipped to the page number on the e-reader. Still, even on the computer those pages were very slow to load and those problematic sessions were happening way too much for me to have a pleasant reading experience.

I still would like to thank you for the opportunity of getting a little glimpse of what the book will be and I'd love to retry once this issue is fixed.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book however I had to mark it as DNF. Throughout my time reading I struggled to understand fully what was going on and found the format hard to engage with naturally when reading. I'm sure there are plenty of others who would be able to read this book however I am not one of them but are nonetheless grateful for the chance to read this

Thank you to NetGalley and Unbound publishing! First off I love the cover art! Its great and immediatly peeked my interest. I also love the title because its hilarious! I had no idea what to expect going in, and all I know now is that it was a wild ride. It was a weirdly strange and unique experience. The body horror was great and It felt like a fever dream. The story was intriquing and I found myself curious to find out where it was all leading to. I really liked both characters Noah and Malachia. They seemed pretty relatable. The story goes back and forth from their perspectives, and although I liked Noah's perspective more, Malachia's was still good.
I will say during the middle I lost a little bit of interest, it seemed like it was just adding more stuff for weirdness. It was funny and satirical which I think works great with horror. I also loved the newspaper ads in the book! Those were funny and weird and were my favorite part! It was such a strange book and I can confidently say Ive read nothing like it. If you like weird funny horror then this book is for you!

I wasn’t sure what to rate this one as I feel like it has its audience but sadly I don’t think I’m it! I love horror with a comedic relief aspect but the humour didn’t work for me personally. I would absolutely recommend this and suggest people try it out, but sadly I didn’t gel with it! I’m really intrigued to read any future work by this author though.

For a shorter book, this world was really well developed and intriguing. I enjoyed the footnotes and newspaper spreads but overall would have loved for this to be longer. It took me a while to grasp what was going on but when I had the lightbulb moment everything came together and I was genuinely impressed. The writing was beautiful and unsettling and I loved the 'spooky bone stuff'. Bit of a confusing format on Kindle no matter how I changed settings but I definitely think I'll pick up a physical copy and might rereview on my second read.

This book was very different than anything I have ever read. I had so many different feelings reading this. The author did a great job with the horror elements and also added comedic relief. The characters a very likable and I hope there is a sequel.

I really enjoyed this book, even if I know that there's no way I tracked the whole time. It was as much a vibes-based book for me as it was a plot/character-based book, and I haven't enjoyed a book of that style in a long, long time. I wouldn't purchase for my library as my readers likely wouldn't be fans (they're currently in their romantasy phase), but will absolutley be happy to recommend to horror readers, fans of Welcome to NightVale, and those who enjoy a bit of Terry Pratchett, but with more guts.

This was a delightfully strange experience. Shiveley's writing style is distinct, comedic and makes for an enjoyable read. I often found myself concerned, horrified and sometimes bemused by the experiences Malachia and Noah went through but, above all, I found myself rooting for them.
The world Shiveley has created is complex yet communicated with ease that I found easy to sink my teeth (pardon the pun) into. I assume (and hope) there will be a sequel in the future because I would love to see Malachia, Noah and Svenn further explore this weird and terrible world.

Arc provided by NetGalley.

Unfortunately this was a DNF for me. I made it 70% of the way through before I threw in the towel.

I was intrigued by this book based on the description and the eye-catching cover, but I have no idea what I just read!

The two character POVs were incredibly confusing, especially Malachia's. It felt like the author just expected you to know what was going on - all these fantastical terminologies that made it feel like the whole book needed a prequel to get you up to speed with the world that the author created.

I didn't enjoy this book, the writing was messy and the footnotes were just annoying. A whole lot of reading for a whole lot of confusion.

The most positive thing about this book is the cover. The cover is wonderful in its design, a proper showstopper.
Unfortunately, that’s where the positives started and finished.
The book was extremely difficult to get into, the word that comes to mind regarding the writing style is jarring. It’s all over the place.
The characters were unlikeable, the plot line was poorly executed.
( I finished it because I don’t like DNF-ing, but that’s a personal choice).

This book was painfully unreadable. I was drawn in by the gorgeous cover and the interesting premise, but the book itself just was not good.

It follows two different characters, Noah and Malachia, every other chapter as they navigate the strange world proposed by the author. Noah seems like a character from our world, drawn in to the strange monster-like building as a salesman because he needed a job. Malachia’s chapters are something else entirely, and make almost zero sense. She doesn’t appear human, she’s some kind of acolyte or something, and there’s something about bones, godlike creatures, and a desire to restore something (?).

This book just did not make any sense. I could tell the author was going for a cheeky tone, making the horror absurd and funny—but it did not come off as funny, just juvenile and ridiculous. None of the descriptions or dialogue felt real or natural, it felt like the author was just trying to say “Ooo this is weird right? This is so weird, fuck, I’m weird ooo”. It felt like a high schooler trying to be creative in english class, trying to come up with a scary story in a time crunch using a thesaurus. The footnotes were pointless, and there were constant references to things that just didn’t work.

I’ll say the only enjoyable part of the book was the actual newspaper sections, particularly the person on the island. Those sections I found genuinely engaging, and the moss reminded me of Annihilation. If the whole novel had that tone / similar story structure, I think it could have been very good! That being said, that one small part did not make the book worth reading. I wouldn’t recommend.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with an eARC!

I definitely got drawn into this one by the cover and the promise of body horror. However, I just could not get into this story.

I found Noah's chapters slightly easier to follow than Malachia but really didn't have a clue what was going on for the majority and decided to give up about halfway into the book.

I didn't like the use of footnotes and they didn't add any clarity to the story. I liked the use of mixed media however they do not translate well on an e-reader and I had to look at those pages on my phone (in the NetGalley app) to understand what was going on there.

Thankyou NetGalley & Unbound for the ARC!

I wanted to love this one. The cover looked so cool and intrigued me. Once reading I found myself totally confused. It was super hard to follow and I wasn’t able to get into the story.

I had a tough time rating this book. It was challenging to follow, and I was interested in the beginning, but somewhere in the middle, I was not enjoying it anymore, and finishing it was more of a chore. I wanted to like it.

I received an Advanced Readers Copy of this ebook in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley and Unbound.

Thank you netgalley for giving me the chance to read this book i will say the cover caught my eye 👁️ and so i wanted to dive into this one when i got approved and ill be honest at first i was so confused and at times while reading it i still was but i definitely think the horror elements and dark elements to this novel kept me wanting to know what was going on.. I will say noahs chapters were definitely easier to understand compared to the author ones but i still enjoyed what i was reading. I dont know if it was a kindle issue or it was supposed to be like that but the newspaper and stuff was hard to read and stuff so i didnt really understand much of that but like i said maybe it was supposed to be like that or maybe that sadly was just how it looked on kindle. I noticed some love elements in this novel as well it seemed that each persons chapters had some of that but like i said i still dont really know what i read but i did enjoy it i can see why the reviews are mixed but i do think horror readers etc will enjoy this one or maybe understand it more then i did! Quick read and very interesting and weird at times so i feel as it was fitting to the cover.