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Hot Singles in Your Area
by Jordan Shiveley
This title was previously available on NetGalley and is now archived.
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Pub Date Nov 07 2024 | Archive Date Jul 26 2024
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Description
A biting, post-modern horror about day jobs and monsters – one of which will devour you whole, but perhaps not the one that you think.
Noah desperately needs a new job that involves less blood and piss than his current one. So, when he spots an ad for a newspaper with ‘No experience preferred’, he puts on his good shirt and marches down to their average-looking office to unknowingly sign his life away.
Malachia is the only human left in the City of Silence and she spends her time wandering its empty, bone-filled streets. Until one day she finds a lone figure hunched over a typewriter, his fingers enmeshed with the keys. Could he be the answer to finding her missing girlfriend?
Propelled by their pursuits for rent money and truth, Noah and Malachia are pushed to their limits by a sinister media powerhouse. Will either of them survive the darkness that ensues?
'Shiveley writes like a ghoul living in the haunted house that is the internet' Meg Elison, author of the Road to Nowhere trilogy
'Jordan's writing is the sharpest and leaves the deepest marks' John Wiswell, author of Someone You Can Build a Nest in
A Note From the Publisher
Advance Praise
'Will leave you laughing, shuddering and looking over your shoulder.'
David Demchuk, author of The Bone Mother
'Devastating in its bottom-of-the-grave black humour'
Jen Vaughn, author of Goosebumps: Download and Die!
'Jordan's writing is the sharpest and leaves the deepest marks.'
John Wiswell, author of Someone You Can Build a Nest In
'I cannot physically put this book down'
Joshua Mendenhall, Co-Director of Islands of Sina Una
Available Editions
EDITION | Other Format |
ISBN | 9781800183414 |
PRICE | £9.99 (GBP) |
Available on NetGalley
Featured Reviews
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This was a really cool book. I couldn’t put it down once I started it. It was a five star read! I think others will enjoy it as much as I did.
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I didn't know what to expect going in to this book but it was different than anything I could have thought and that's a very good thing.
This horror/comedy is weird, satirical, and has everything you'd want in horror including tentacle plant ladies, demons, alternate worlds, and other creatures which you just have to read about to grasp their full scope.
Told from two perspectives, one in our world and one in another, they both collide in sometimes goopy and humorous ways. One of our main characters just wanted a job that didn't require him to clean up urine and blood. When he gets hired with no resistance as a salesman for advertising from a newspaper of some kind, he might just wish he didn't apply.
In another existence, our other main character is wondering why the magical and very eccentric city she lives in is empty, leaving her all alone with things she doesn't want to imagine.
These two arcs will come together in this blend of horror and hilarity with a great satirical twisty narrative that can sometimes be puzzling but still very entertaining.
I recommend this novel if you're looking for something weird and oddly different.
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This book was not something I typically read, it was sometimes hard to follow but i LOVED the detail to it!
The papers were so well done, and definitely had the creepy vibe going for it and it was amazing!
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This was funny, and horrific at the same time. it’s a great book! I enjoyed the writing style, and it made me really invested in the book. the cover was horrific but it was still funny, and slightly reminded me of butcher and blackbird.
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Came for the body horror, stayed for the detailed world-building and pinpoint satire
Striking cover art gives a hint of where this book is headed, and the story takes off from page one, challenging the reader to catch up quick. The footnotes are a great touch, giving a sense of Something Bigger providing commentary and adding an odd context to Noah's (at first) seemingly mundane interview for a sales role at Printed Matter. Perusing the included pages, however, makes it clear that this is no ordinary publication.
Malachia enters the story next, bringing us to a strange and strangely empty city of bone architecture and fountains of dust. An encounter with a uniquely motivated figure at a typewriter pushes her toward one of the Powers that be, where she gets a job of her own to complete.
These diverse beginnings set Noah and Malachia on converging courses, as long as they can handle the creatures, constructs, and contractors in their paths.
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This book had a great plot with intriguing characters. I’ll definitely be looking out for more from this author.
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I really enjoyed this book, even if I know that there's no way I tracked the whole time. It was as much a vibes-based book for me as it was a plot/character-based book, and I haven't enjoyed a book of that style in a long, long time. I wouldn't purchase for my library as my readers likely wouldn't be fans (they're currently in their romantasy phase), but will absolutley be happy to recommend to horror readers, fans of Welcome to NightVale, and those who enjoy a bit of Terry Pratchett, but with more guts.
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This was a delightfully strange experience. Shiveley's writing style is distinct, comedic and makes for an enjoyable read. I often found myself concerned, horrified and sometimes bemused by the experiences Malachia and Noah went through but, above all, I found myself rooting for them.
The world Shiveley has created is complex yet communicated with ease that I found easy to sink my teeth (pardon the pun) into. I assume (and hope) there will be a sequel in the future because I would love to see Malachia, Noah and Svenn further explore this weird and terrible world.
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I honestly have no idea what I just finished reading. I am thoroughly confused and I love it. This is just the kind of novel I've been waiting for. Equal parts silly and still able to make me feel uneasy. Unable to put down for the entire read through I did. The only negative is now I have to wait to hold a physical copy of this for a pretty long time till the beginning of next year.
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For starters, the beautiful cover was so creepy it ALMOST could’ve prepared me for this body horror queer capitalist nightmare that the two main characters, Noah & Malachia find themselves in. “Anyhoo”Noah is one of my favorite character I’ve met in most horror novels I’ve read recently. I chuckled throughout the book and was struck by the author’s poetic yet sarcastic prose. The separate but parallel dynamics of the two main character’s relationships were both symbolic and gory in ways that will stick with you. I do wish the book was longer so I could’ve gotten to know more on the back story of the two characters and how they got to be so bitter and witty. I would definitely read this author again!
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This was nothing at all like I thought it would be but not in a bad way. I really enjoyed this even if it wasn't what I thought it was. It was still really interesting and unnerving in a lot of places. I can already see myself driving my friends crazy yapping about this book.
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