This book helped me take a good look at myself, my beliefs, and my goals for my future. A great inspiration for those looking to have a better sense of happiness. Very helpful.

This self-help book covers anxiety and social anxiety, with a focus on perfectionism. Each chapter begins with a relatable story, either about a client or a celebrity, helping to engage readers. The book explores various aspects of perfectionism and offers strategies for reducing anxiety around the need to be perfect, suggesting that even slightly dialing back on perfectionism can make a big difference. Dr. Hendriksen focuses on themes like connection, repair, and reframing our thinking. Many chapters include "Try it out" exercises, which are useful for reflection—especially if you're flipping through the book for a quick review. Since the chapters can be read independently, the book is easy to navigate, allowing readers to refer to sections that resonate most with them. Overall, it's an engaging and practical guide with valuable takeaways that can be applied to daily life.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re juggling high standards while quietly battling self-doubt, How to Be Enough by Ellen Hendriksen feels like it was written just for you. It’s not just another self-help book—it’s a relatable, thoughtful guide that doesn’t ask you to throw away your ambition but helps you approach life with more kindness and balance.

Hendriksen’s writing is both compassionate and practical. She gets it: perfectionism isn’t about being perfect; it’s about never feeling good enough. Her ability to describe this struggle in a personal and validating way is one of the book’s greatest strengths. You’ll see yourself in her examples, and you might even laugh at the humor she sprinkles throughout.

The seven “shifts” she introduces are simple yet profound, like moving from self-criticism to kindness or procrastination to productivity. What I appreciated most was how flexible her advice is—she’s not telling you to lower your standards or stop striving but to change how you relate to yourself.

It’s not a perfect book (ironically!). It can sometimes feel repetitive, and some sections might feel more like reminders than revelations. But overall, the blend of science, real-world examples, and Hendriksen’s warm, approachable tone make it an empowering read.

This is for anyone who looks like they’re succeeding on the outside but struggles with feeling enough on the inside. It’s a much-needed reminder to enjoy life, be honest, and—most importantly—be kind to yourself. If you’re ready to stop striking out in your mind, this book is a home run.

Amazing book with tons of grace and empathy for the reader. I loved her practical tips to help quell the perfectionist’s attitude and thoughts on how to live a more satisfying and fulfilling life.

As a perfectionist, this book was one that called me out in all the right ways. It helped to give a name to the different types of perfectionism and to provide plausible ways to improve one’s self! I felt seen in this story, especially in the examples. I enjoyed this book and I hope more perfectionists can see how great this book can be for them.

5/5 stars!

**Thank you to NetGalley for a free review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily!

As someone who struggles with enoughness this book was exactly what my soul needed this time of year. This books’ objective is to teach perfectionists to be more flexible- something I definitely struggle with but feel like with the authors’ way of making this a digestible and is helping me work through my perfectionism.

I know I'll be recommending 'How To Be Enough' to my clients as much as I recommend the author's book about social anxiety. Dr. Ellen Hendriksen has such an engaging way of weaving stories with the science that you can recognize yourself in every page. But I particularly appreciate the self-effacing way the author presents herself as if a friend and not an expert telling you what to do. And of course, as with every brilliant self-help book, there are practical suggestions to apply in real-life. Thank you to St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for the opportunity to read the eArc—all opinions expressed here are entirely my own.

Some good thoughts about releasing some of the pressures of perfectionism and how that can improve mental health

(I received a free digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review)

I really enjoyed reading How To Be Enough by Ellen Hendriksen. I didn't consider myself a perfectionist prior to reading this book, but I have had hobbling issues with self criticism and negative self talk. It was a real eye opener to see how much I related to the personal stories and scenarios presented in How To Be Enough. The Author delivers the information in a clear, funny at times and relatable manner. Having read the book I feel better equipped to live happily as I make progress towards my goals.

I've always been someone who is organized almost to the point of obsession, so this book really spoke to me in a specific way. The author of this book knows the struggle of trying to be a perfectionist, so her advice in the book was helpful in many ways. The book was very readable and offered tangible suggestions that I've been trying to implement in my daily life. However, this did not read as a self-help book. The author wrote positively about perfectionism as well looking through different lens via client anecdotes and study data. I think this book is really meant for a certain type of reader, but can be enjoyed by all.

Ellen Hendriksen offers a comprehensive, empirically-supported guide for those who struggle with perfectionism. It is an excellent guide for anyone who wants to be and do their best but strives to maintain appropriate balance and flourish. It's an ideal gift for the recent high school superstar graduate eager to thrive and excel in further studies.

Really great self help book. Highly recommend for mama’s and women who struggle with feeling confident and good enough.

How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists by Ellen Hendriksen, a clinical psychologist, is one of the most relatable, practical, and helpful books I've read in this genre. The author balances personal anecdotes (she is a perfectionist, so she understands the constant struggles and pitfalls) with client anecdotes and professional studies (for those who want the facts) to bring a well-rounded and ever-so-helpful perspective of the many facets of self-criticism and perfectionism. Her writing style is personable, fluid and understandable.

This was not a quick read for me because there is so much good and helpful information to take in. Hendriksen also offers ways to shift your perspective on various topics. I found myself highlighting a lot of passages and plan to reread the book in the near future.

My thanks to St. Martin's Essentials for permitting me to access a DRC through NetGalley. Publication is 1/7/25. All thoughts and opinions stated in this review are strictly my own and are freely given.

Ellen Hendriksen’s How to Be Enough tackles a much-needed topic: embracing self-acceptance in a world of relentless self-criticism. Her tone is compassionate and relatable, making the book an approachable guide for anyone struggling with perfectionism.

There were definitely helpful part—especially the actionable exercises and reminders about reframing self-talk. However, much of the content felt like ground already covered in other self-help books. For seasoned self-help readers, the concepts might feel a bit repetitive.

Overall, it’s a solid read with a kindhearted approach, but it didn’t quite offer the deeper “aha” moments I was hoping for. A good pick for a starting point in your self-acceptance journey!

Special thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a free, electronic ARC of this novel received in exchange for an honest review.
Expected publication date: Jan. 7, 2025
Have you ever been labeled “very Type A?” Perhaps “anal retentive”? Or, on the positive side of things, “reliable”, “organized” or even “obsessive”? (It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me). If so, Dr. Ellen Hendricksen, the author of “How to be Yourself: Quiet your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety” has introduced another book that is specifically geared to those of us who are self-declared perfectionists, “How to Be Enough: Self- Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists”.
First of all, Ellen Hendricksen is a psychologist, so she knows her stuff. But, beyond that (and most important), she also identifies as a perfectionist, so she fully understands the struggle. It is likely the combination of these characteristics that make “Enough” relatable, easy to read and even (gasp) helpful.
Hendricks uses anecdotes from her own clients (names have been changed, obviously) as well as information garnered from other studies, to help those of us who can’t ask for help, see common human errors as a personal flaw and re-examine situations in our life until they are blown out of proportion.
“Enough” is different than other self-help books in many important ways but the biggest one for me was that Hendricksen doesn’t talk about perfectionism as something that “needs to be changed”. She talks about its positive attributes, and how it is the result of both nature and nurture on our bodies (and therefore, it can’t be completely removed). She provides doable strategies with achievable goals without once labeling the reader as someone who is, in some way, lacking. Hendricksen focuses on the behaviours associated with perfectionism that may bother us in some way, and she provides us with ways to change these specific behaviours simply by looking at them through a different lens.
I knew of Hendricksen’s book on social anxiety, but I didn’t read it (although it probably would be helpful as well). I definitely related to “Enough” on every level, and Hendricksen, first off, allowed me to be heard and then, allowed me to accept myself and finally, put some ideas out there that could help the behaviours that annoy me (and probably others) the most. There were so many times when I looked around me for hidden cameras, wondering if Hendricksen had somehow been able to see into my life and my brain, and I know that if you have a similar personality, something in “Enough” will help you understand yourself a little bit more, without shaming you or making you think you are broken or damaged. “Enough” is meant for a certain reader with a specific personality type, but there are definitely a lot of us, and Hendricksen is speaking to each and every one.

How to Be Enough came into my life at the perfect time. This year has physically and mentally been one of the toughest of my life. I am hard on myself and often feel like a fraud, even when succeeding. Now, this book did not magically cure me of those anxieties and feelings. It did, however, deliver a very important message. I'm enough. Doing what I can, when I can, is enough. You do not have to be perfect. No one is, and it's so important, especially in today's world, that we focus less on impressing, and more on just existing and giving it what we can on any given day. I obviously read an eGalley of this, but will 100% be preordering a physical copy to keep with me.

"How to Be Enough" is such a breath of fresh air; especially those with us struggling with various forms of perfectionism (aka consciousness in overdrive), there's many things within this book that you can walk away with. I've personally struggled with a number of the thought patterns and behaviors that are illustrated here, but have found it increasingly difficult to talk about. In today's society, as Hendriksen points out, perfectionism frequently leads to many rewarding and praise-worthy outcomes. But there are a number of detrimental outcomes, including our mental and physical health, a higher frequency of mental illnesses and suicide rates, and the overall quality of life and relationships we form.

I found this self help book to be well well-balanced between the number of Hendriksen's personal experiences, stories of patients and acquaintances, and research and case studies. She breaks down the different components to perfectionism (hypercritical relationship with oneself, overevaluation, orientation to rules, focus on mistakes, etc.) , as well as the different types (self-oriented vs. other-oriented) before delving into each area in more detail and introducing different strategies and methods for managing and improving them. Each section is sprinkled with humor and an acknowledgement that, while small, these strategies can have large impacts over time.

A great thing about a book like this is that readers can focus on sections that are more relevant for them, and skim or skip the ones that aren't. I personally thought that Hendriksen's section on "doorknobs" for conversations would be applicable for anyone; far too often, I've encountered people who can't carry a conversation or end up spending making it all about themselves. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this read and found the larger takeaways - to focus more on values and process, and less on outcomes and goals; and to encourage more self-forgiveness and authenticity - to be applicable and actionable.

As a nearly lifelong perfectionist, this book was exactly what I needed. It was so incredibly relatable, all while being funny and inspiring. This is one of those self-help books that will NOT be collecting dust on my shelf, I can’t wait to buy a physical copy so I can highlight and relive these amazing tips when needed.

How to praise this book perfectly enough? How To Be Enough is inspiring, funny, endearing, deeply relatable and is everything I’ve needed for YEARS. This book on perfectionism is so incredibly helpful, it’s all I’ve been able to talk about for a week. I had no idea how multifaceted perfectionism is, but in How to Be Enough, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen unpacks them all in a way that is easily digestible, not shame inducing, and even though the topic was something I’ve procrastinated reading more into for most of my adult life (a behavior as it turns out, is fueled by perfectionism), I wanted to read this one more with every chapter. It balances education on how the perfectionists brain works, case studies, and practical tips; and lest you think the point is to become less perfectionistic, the goal of the book is to teach perfectionists to be more cognitively flexible and begin to practice what the book calls adaptive perfectionism- a breed of perfectionism that keeps the helpful aspects and works to reorient the qualities of perfectionism that cost more than they buy.

This is one I am excited to add to my library when it releases because it’s definitely one I’ll come back to again and again.

I would like to thank St Martin’s Press and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

This book is focused on the perfectionist. I picked it up because as an artist trying to be a perfectionist has hindered my path and work and I often strugle with it in different levels.The book is a valuable tool providing not only advice, examples but also exercises.