Enough is a volatile terms and hard to be defined.
If high achievement is our to go, a lot probably goes well in your life. High standards and hard work pay off. You may get flattering compliments: on top of everything, accomplished, successful. This book reminds us how to be enough.

Fantastic deep-dive into the complicated foundations of perfectionism. Hendriksen makes this hairy, defensive topic very approachable, with a conversational writing style and countless analogies and personal stories.

While I expected some of the information to be common sense (e.g., 'take it easy,' 'be nice to yourself'), the overall book contains many snippets of information that were helpful, interesting, and more thought-provoking than I originally anticipated.

I walked away with a newfound understanding of three main topics. First, procrastination is not about time management but emotion management. FMRI studies backed this up and gave me a new perspective on that gnawing self-sabotaging feeling when there is so much to do, but procrastination keeps slipping in uninvited.

Secondly, the core trait of perfectionism begins and festers within family structures. This seems obvious, but Hendriksen breaks this down into multiple types of parenting and how even innocuous helpfulness and/or encouragement can have long-term consequences if not executed properly. Chapter 3, as a whole, is an important chapter for anyone interested in learning more about their own perfectionism and how to integrate more thoughtful parenting with their own children.

Lastly, the book offers many helpful tips and suggestions on how to be more open and vulnerable in personal and professional relationships. This was unexpected, but it really highlighted how perfectionism can bleed into daily conversations and inadvertently block genuine connections with others.

Overall, wonderful book for the insecure overachiever in all of us. 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Thank you, NetGalley and St. Martin's Press, for the opportunity to read this advanced reader's copy in exchange for my honest review.

As a Clinicla Social Worker and Perfectionist, this book was great. It was a very thorough look at perfectionism and its various origins and presentations and was presented in a way with individual stories and anecdotes that kept it interesting!

How to Be Enough take a deep dive of what perfectionism looks like and how those various characteristics can show up for people. It then takes a look at how we can shift our perspectives about ourselves and start to approach our self-worth with an acceptance mindset. I find these mind shift reminders helpful when it comes to working on self acceptance, the ability to shift a paradigm and view our characteristics as a way of what is, and without judgement is so helpful.

While the overall concepts within this book are not new for me, the little anecdotes help to view the concepts in a new way. I appreciated the stories and talking points as another informative learning in my self acceptance journey.

4.5 rounded up

This book was full of information I needed to hear. It took me longer to read than usual, because I wanted to make sure that I was processing and relating to the information in the book. So, I took extra time to make sure I was listening to the messages and in a spot to reckon with myself. While I did not relate to all the components in the book, I did relate to quite a few. This will definitely be a re-read, with annotations, and some more self-reflection. I appreciated how the author broke down components of self-criticism and perfectionism, as it felt manageable to tackle smaller, discrete components versus all of the self-criticism and perfectionism. It will always be a work in progress for me, but this is something I will come back to multiple times. I also found it beneficial that the author suggested ways to make these tendencies less harmful, and in a more productive manner.

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the ARC!

How to be enough was a great read and listen. I liked the different strategies to help with self-esteem as well as procrastination. The stories of real patients helped too.

I don’t normally rate non-fiction, but this is by far the most impactful psychology-based, self-help books I’ve ever read. I’ve been an overthinking perfectionist my whole life, but even knowing that going into this book didn’t open my eyes to how many self-critical habits I have until I finished reading. I don’t think I’ve ever highlighted a book so much before, because so much of what the author said and found through psychological studies resonated with me. I loved how this was structured with real-life stories to be more practical, studies to be more analytical, and solutions for you to take for each big point. There are many things I’ll be trying to do for myself and in my relationships with those around me after reading this. I highly recommend to anyone who knows they’re hard on themselves and has to do things to the max in life!

How to Be Enough is a breath of fresh air, especially for those of us wrestling with perfectionism—or as Hendriksen calls it, "consciousness in overdrive." This book offers countless insights and strategies that readers can take with them long after finishing it. As someone who has personally struggled with many of the thought patterns and behaviors described, I found it refreshing and validating to see them articulated so clearly, particularly since perfectionism can be so difficult to discuss.

Hendriksen does an excellent job of illustrating how perfectionism, while often praised and rewarded in today's society, comes with significant downsides. From its impact on mental and physical health to its contributions to higher rates of mental illness, suicide, and strained relationships, she underscores the importance of addressing these tendencies.

What makes this book stand out is its balance of personal anecdotes, patient stories, and well-researched case studies. Hendriksen carefully breaks down the components of perfectionism—such as self-criticism, rule-bound thinking, and hyper-focus on mistakes—while also exploring its different forms, like self-oriented versus other-oriented perfectionism. Each section dives deep into these topics and introduces practical, actionable strategies to manage and improve them. Her humor and approachable tone make even the heaviest topics feel manageable, and she acknowledges that small changes can lead to significant progress over time.

One of the book's greatest strengths is its flexibility. Readers can focus on the sections most relevant to their struggles and skip or skim others as needed. Personally, I found the chapter on "doorknobs" for conversations particularly valuable. Hendriksen's advice on improving conversational skills—especially in a world where self-centered dialogue is all too common—is something anyone could benefit from.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this book and found its key takeaways to be both actionable and empowering: focus on values and processes rather than outcomes and goals, and cultivate self-forgiveness and authenticity. How to Be Enough is a must-read for anyone seeking to quiet their inner critic and embrace a healthier, more balanced way of living.

This book helped me take a good look at myself, my beliefs, and my goals for my future. A great inspiration for those looking to have a better sense of happiness. Very helpful.

This self-help book covers anxiety and social anxiety, with a focus on perfectionism. Each chapter begins with a relatable story, either about a client or a celebrity, helping to engage readers. The book explores various aspects of perfectionism and offers strategies for reducing anxiety around the need to be perfect, suggesting that even slightly dialing back on perfectionism can make a big difference. Dr. Hendriksen focuses on themes like connection, repair, and reframing our thinking. Many chapters include "Try it out" exercises, which are useful for reflection—especially if you're flipping through the book for a quick review. Since the chapters can be read independently, the book is easy to navigate, allowing readers to refer to sections that resonate most with them. Overall, it's an engaging and practical guide with valuable takeaways that can be applied to daily life.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re juggling high standards while quietly battling self-doubt, How to Be Enough by Ellen Hendriksen feels like it was written just for you. It’s not just another self-help book—it’s a relatable, thoughtful guide that doesn’t ask you to throw away your ambition but helps you approach life with more kindness and balance.

Hendriksen’s writing is both compassionate and practical. She gets it: perfectionism isn’t about being perfect; it’s about never feeling good enough. Her ability to describe this struggle in a personal and validating way is one of the book’s greatest strengths. You’ll see yourself in her examples, and you might even laugh at the humor she sprinkles throughout.

The seven “shifts” she introduces are simple yet profound, like moving from self-criticism to kindness or procrastination to productivity. What I appreciated most was how flexible her advice is—she’s not telling you to lower your standards or stop striving but to change how you relate to yourself.

It’s not a perfect book (ironically!). It can sometimes feel repetitive, and some sections might feel more like reminders than revelations. But overall, the blend of science, real-world examples, and Hendriksen’s warm, approachable tone make it an empowering read.

This is for anyone who looks like they’re succeeding on the outside but struggles with feeling enough on the inside. It’s a much-needed reminder to enjoy life, be honest, and—most importantly—be kind to yourself. If you’re ready to stop striking out in your mind, this book is a home run.

Amazing book with tons of grace and empathy for the reader. I loved her practical tips to help quell the perfectionist’s attitude and thoughts on how to live a more satisfying and fulfilling life.

As a perfectionist, this book was one that called me out in all the right ways. It helped to give a name to the different types of perfectionism and to provide plausible ways to improve one’s self! I felt seen in this story, especially in the examples. I enjoyed this book and I hope more perfectionists can see how great this book can be for them.

5/5 stars!

**Thank you to NetGalley for a free review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily!

As someone who struggles with enoughness this book was exactly what my soul needed this time of year. This books’ objective is to teach perfectionists to be more flexible- something I definitely struggle with but feel like with the authors’ way of making this a digestible and is helping me work through my perfectionism.

I know I'll be recommending 'How To Be Enough' to my clients as much as I recommend the author's book about social anxiety. Dr. Ellen Hendriksen has such an engaging way of weaving stories with the science that you can recognize yourself in every page. But I particularly appreciate the self-effacing way the author presents herself as if a friend and not an expert telling you what to do. And of course, as with every brilliant self-help book, there are practical suggestions to apply in real-life. Thank you to St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for the opportunity to read the eArc—all opinions expressed here are entirely my own.

Some good thoughts about releasing some of the pressures of perfectionism and how that can improve mental health

(I received a free digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review)

I really enjoyed reading How To Be Enough by Ellen Hendriksen. I didn't consider myself a perfectionist prior to reading this book, but I have had hobbling issues with self criticism and negative self talk. It was a real eye opener to see how much I related to the personal stories and scenarios presented in How To Be Enough. The Author delivers the information in a clear, funny at times and relatable manner. Having read the book I feel better equipped to live happily as I make progress towards my goals.

I've always been someone who is organized almost to the point of obsession, so this book really spoke to me in a specific way. The author of this book knows the struggle of trying to be a perfectionist, so her advice in the book was helpful in many ways. The book was very readable and offered tangible suggestions that I've been trying to implement in my daily life. However, this did not read as a self-help book. The author wrote positively about perfectionism as well looking through different lens via client anecdotes and study data. I think this book is really meant for a certain type of reader, but can be enjoyed by all.

Ellen Hendriksen offers a comprehensive, empirically-supported guide for those who struggle with perfectionism. It is an excellent guide for anyone who wants to be and do their best but strives to maintain appropriate balance and flourish. It's an ideal gift for the recent high school superstar graduate eager to thrive and excel in further studies.

Really great self help book. Highly recommend for mama’s and women who struggle with feeling confident and good enough.