oh second chance lesbians, how i love u… this was such an interesting concept! we love to see sapphics in all kinds of romance subgenres, especially spy stuff. this was a second chance romance, like i said— kiiinda? they had, like, just broken up, but y’know. still. anyway, i really liked this! it wasn’t my favorite thing in the world, and unfortunately i read this right after a stellar emily henry, but yardley and kc? EVERYTHING to me. 50 more books of them kissing please

Yardley and KC’s relationship is falling apart; the POD in the driveway will tell you that. Both have been throwing themselves into work instead of facing their relationship issues. As it turns out, their all-consuming jobs overlap: they both work for the CIA. Yardley’s the overworked spy known as the Unicorn, and KC’s the tech mastermind code named Tabasco (even though she’s not from Louisiana). When a mission to capture a dangerous digital weapon throws them together, they must learn to open up. First as colleagues, then as partners.

This was a new take on a second-chance romance for me. A big revelation of personal and professional secrets really felt like a good reason for a do-over (although I didn’t fully understand how/why the characters broke up in the first place). I really enjoyed getting to know both main characters in this action-packed romance, and the backdrop of espionage was thrilling. Yardley and KC seemed impressively real for people with careers as borderline-fantastical Bond-esque spies. Each had her own strengths and weaknesses, successes and setbacks. Together, they navigated whether and how to find the vulnerability needed to move forward – and to trust themselves and each other.

I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Take Mr. and Mrs. Smith and queer it up, and what do you get? You get "If I Told You, I'd Have to Kiss You".

It was love at first sight for Yardley and KC, and three years later they're living together and still madly in love—and they've just broken up, because they're each carrying secrets that are pulling the relationship down. What they don't know: Those secrets are the same. They've both been working for the CIA for years...and things are about to get interesting.

"She was five feet of coiled muscle with the kind of mind shining behind her eyes that made people not want to be the first one to talk, just in case they weren't as smart as they thought." (loc. 811*)

I have to be honest: I don't think the CIA works even a little bit the way it's depicted here, and for the sake of fiction, that's exactly the way I like it. This is spy stuff with sparkles (or perhaps a unicorn onesie?) on, with lots of red lipstick and tight dresses and blasting away at bad guys without so much as ruffling one's hair. It reminds me a bit of "The Blonde Identity", and, well...I was here for it then, and I'm here for it now. Presumably CIA operatives have quite a lot more oversight and quite a lot less space to make decisions about what to do and when and why (although, what do I know), but it's a lot more fun when...well, when they get to run kind of rampant, and spy culture is basically a bunch of overgrown teenagers putting on a different wig for each party and pretending not to recognize each other.

The only downside here really has nothing to do with the book itself: there was a moment when I saw this that I thought it was a new Mabel Maney book, and when I tell you that my heart skipped a beat... Well. It's been too long. But at least if Mabel Maney doesn't have any new books coming out soon, there are other authors willing to take up the task of writing playful, improbable, queer spy novels.

Just one question remains: Can this be a series?

*Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final.

Thanks to the authors and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.

First, thank you to NetGalley for making this book available for a few days to read, because if you were to genetically engineer a book to appeal to me specifically, this would probably be it: a spy thriller/lesbian romance.

Second, I love James Bond movies. Yes, I understand they are highly problematic on multiple levels (especially the ones having to do with women and the depiction thereof)... but also spies! The spy stuff, especially on the more modern ones, overrides the more annoying stuff (which they try to make better as time has gone on). So this is right up my alley.

This book fulfills the promise of its premise quite well. It's both a good romance and a pretty engaging thriller and both sides of it are well written and engaging. I thought the authors did a good job of balancing the two sides of the story. They kept the thriller tense and compelling and the romance emotionally satisfying.

The spy thriller has appropriately dangerous stakes (it's another one about a EMP causing MacGuffin, but it's pulled off well even if the mastermind of the plot is a tiny bit predictable), and the romance is fairly unique. The two main characters have been in a relationship that had fallen apart because of all the secrets they were keeping and all the parts of themselves they had to hold back as a result. I liked the progression of the relationship. They don't just magically decide to get back together when they figure out who the other one is, they have to labor over it in a way that felt genuine, and ask themselves questions about who they are apart and who they are together.

Yardley and KC are very different people but I rooted for both and wanted them to be happy. My usual rating for romance protagonists is whether they do things that make me want to throttle them on their way to the end, and in this case they did not. The things they did made sense for their situation and who they were established to be and neither did anything frustratingly irrational.

I found the way the CIA depicted to be a bit fantasy world (if you care to know more, please see the end of this review for my CIA rant lol), but I was able to overlook the authors ignoring the bad side of the CIA just like I'm able to suspend my disbelief every time I watch a glossy spy movie. To me, the well written characters and fun thriller action overrode that part of it. If you're not able to do this, then you might not like this book as much as I did.

In conclusion, a really good book from a pair of authors I'd heard of before (their first book is on my list of things i want to read), but had never gotten around to reading. I wasn't even aware this book existed, because if I had been it would've been on my most anticipated list. It lived up to my expectations, and is definitely a story I'd love to see as a movie.

The only part where I probably have to warn people a little is that Yardley and KC are both working for the CIA and at no point is the CIA itself depicted as anything but an agency that Fights for Freedom and the Safety of Democracy around the world. In other words, it takes all the pretty uncomfortable dark side out of the Agency and makes most of the people in it good, hardworking agents who genuinely are doing their best to help and save people. I am not denying that there are individuals who work for the CIA who feel this way and that many have good intentions, but they are absolutely not an unambiguous good in the world (you don't have to research far to find out why).

There's a reason that a lot of movies and books that want to focus on the fun part of being a spy will have their spies working for some agency independent of the CIA that's actually working towards making the world a better place, and it's because the CIA often isn't (who gets to decide what is "best" for the entire world... why should it be us, etc...). The book doesn't really address this or interrogate it outside of KC and Yardley talking about how they want to make the agency more modern. They blame a lot of the bad stuff on older corrupt agents and bad systems, which are a problem but not all of it.

Thank you NetGalley and publisher for this arc!!

What a good book! I enjoyed this more than I thought I would. I loved the main characters! They had great chemistry and worked so well together. I loved how the book just flowed. My first by this author but will not be my last!!

This was a tough one to rate because I read it with two hats on - first as an ALIAS fan, and second as the wife of a former CIA case officer. Though with the latter hat on, this book wasn’t realistic in the slightest, I thoroughly enjoyed being back in the world of Sydney Bristow! Yardley and KC were great characters in different ways. I especially felt for KC. It was fun to follow them through the different locations, and I thought the author did a good job representing different accents and slang. The action kept me turning pages. Anyone who wished Sydney had gone sapphic will love this one.

Short summary: If ALIAS were gay and her roommate who she’s in love with but in the midst of a break up with also secretly worked for the agency and now they have to team up to stop a weapon while ignoring their feelings and the pile of lies between them.

Thanks to St. Martin’s Press and Netgalley. ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

This book is definitely reminiscent of Mr. and Mr. Smith. This book read like an action movie or a limited series on Netflix and I was thoroughly entertained the entire time. If you're looking for a sweet rom-com that's got some kick to it, then this book is for you.

"If I Told You, I'd Have to Kiss You" was a very enjoyable story. In a spin on "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", the authors have created lesbian lovers, Yardley and KC, who both work for the CIA, but don't know that the other is an operative. Yardley thinks KC runs a freelance tech business, while KC thinks Yardley works in finance. Unbeknownst to each other, they have actually worked together, as Yardley is Unicorn, one of the most successful field operatives, while KC is Tabasco, one of the tech wizards making sure the operations succeed. Having to keep secrets from each other has strained their relationship to a breaking point. However, the efforts to recover a rogue piece of technology, that KC is very familiar with, will result in their secrets being unmasked. KC will have to work in the field for the first time, with Yardley as her handler.

In between the action and intrigue, there is also a relationship to figure out. With their secret identities revealed, and working together closely, Yardley and KC rediscover their importance to each other and figure out the ways that their own insecurities, as well as the situation the CIA put them in, has hampered their relationship. When they start opening up and being more trusting, their personal lives become more complicated, but their professional lives improve, as the trust and connection between operatives and assets is of critical importance to the success of a mission. Knowing each other the way they do and trusting in each other's abilities allows them to improvise as needed, which is essential given what is at risk in the mission.

Yardley and KC also manage to find opportunities for intimacy during the mission, including at moments when intimacy would seem unwise given the circumstances and surroundings.

Yardley and KC are great characters, with well-developed backstories, and while in some ways they play to type, there are aspects of their personalities that don't fit the stereotypes one might associate with them, which makes them much more intriguing and engaging characters. They each have their unique brand of toughness and vulnerability.

I loved this book! I am not sure if I loved Yardley or KC more. A fast pace spy novel with twists and turns, wonderful side characters and I loved being in on the action traveling around the world with them.

I would highly recommend picking up this book

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Griffin for the opportunity to read this ARC and give my honest feedback.

A new twist on a spy novel with a little bit of romance and some action. I really enjoyed how the characters relationships were real and dug a little deeper than some books I’ve read. I love how Mae Marvel’s books have a relatability to the characters and don’t gloss over the feelings and character development. I will admit during reading I was getting the 2 lead characters mixed up on who was who but I still enjoyed the ride. Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Griffin for the opportunity to read this ARC and give my honest feedback.

Mae, you are a Marvel! "If I Told You, I'd Have to Kiss You" is the latest from the collaborative team that is Mae Marvel, and it's every bit as fun, sexy and well written as their last book. The book features Yardley Whitcomb (aka "Unicorn") and KC Nolan (aka "Tabasco"), two women who, because of their need to keep the fact that they are spies secret from each other, have allowed their romantic relationship to erode to the point where Yardley is moving out but doesn't want to, and KC is letting her go but doesn't want to. From there, we are on a journey of discovery. Unicorn and Tabasco find themselves working a high level international case together (I mean, they have meetings in the White House with the President!) and as they work to solve the case, they discover much about themselves and each other. Does this mean a happy ending? You'll have to read to find out!

I have always admired Mae Marvel's writing - their books are always light years more intelligent than most "popular" fiction - but this one is amazing even for them. The research that had to be done to accurately portray the life and work of undercover agents, the complex technology that KC works with, and the variety of locations that are depicted is impressively thorough. At one point, one of the ladies casually starts speaking in Portuguese, for example. Or we find ourselves in Sweden navigating the city like locals. All the details are carefully tended to, and accurate, as far as I was able to tell. The one thing that I found puzzling was how they found so much time and so many locations for discreet kissing and canoodling, although I give credit to the Marvels that our beloved spies were usually able to jump out of a linen closet or a dark corner without missing a step of their mission.

In their acknowledgements, the authors emphasize that they weren't trying to write a "gender flipped" spy story; rather, they were trying to highlight the fact that queer people have been a part of every profession "for as long as there have been people." This book honors the women who have worked in intelligence, and it does it beautifully and naturally, avoiding in-your-face moral lessons. I loved it.

Many thanks to St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for the opportunity to review this eARC in exchange for my honest review.

*If I Told You, I’d Have to Kiss You* by Mae Marvel is a thrilling romantic adventure that deftly blends espionage and heartfelt emotion. This captivating tale follows second-generation spy Yardley "the Unicorn" Whitmer and her ex-girlfriend KC "Tabasco" Nolan, both of whom are entrenched in the high-stakes world of international espionage. The tension escalates as Yardley navigates the complexities of her spy life, trying to keep her cover intact while grappling with the fallout from her strained relationship with KC.

The chemistry between Yardley and KC crackles throughout the narrative, providing a compelling counterpoint to the suspenseful plot. Their journey takes them from the elegance of the Eiffel Tower to the adrenaline-fueled streets of Europe as they uncover shocking truths about each other and their intertwined pasts. The story's pacing is superb, expertly balancing high-octane action with intimate moments that reveal the depth of their feelings and regrets. The stakes are raised even higher when the duo must confront not only external threats but also the emotional turmoil stemming from their past.

Marvel’s writing is sharp and engaging, with a clever blend of humor and tension that keeps readers on the edge of their seats. *If I Told You, I’d Have to Kiss You* is a fun and exhilarating exploration of love, trust, and the complexities of relationships in a world filled with secrets. With memorable characters and a fast-paced plot, this book is a must-read for anyone who enjoys romance intertwined with adventure and intrigue.

Thank you to the publisher for the ARC. I really enjoyed this read. The story was very unique and the characters were really well written. The spy/mystery part of the plot did get very technical and dry at times but if you like spy novels it’d would be very interesting. The romance was a good story. The two Main characters really worked on themselves and their relationship. The spice was low in my opinion. And I would classify it as almost a bit of a slow burn. I did enjoy that the relationship was mature and felt very adult. Would recommend you pick up this read!

This was a delightful read! I loved the characters in this and the story made me feel like I was watching a teen rom-com unfold in front of me. From fun plot and the blooming romance between Yardley and KC, this is one of the best sapphic books to come out in the genre in a long time and I am incredibly fortunate to have had the chance to read it early.

A special thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for a ARC in exchange for an honest review.