A fascinating book with a narrative that is full of energy, humor, and open to the darkness of the situation. I loved the candid point of view here, as well as the redemption that the narrator finds.

I have mixed feelings about this memoir. It's the story of a second marriage -- later in life -- that ends after 14 years because the husband, Perry, decides he wants to get a younger partner and have babies. (!!!!) Talk about a late-life crisis. Virginia, or Gin, as she goes by, is understandably devasted as this news totally came out of nowhere. She is a psychotherapist, so you would think she has seen all kinds of mental breakdowns, but in Perry's case, she spends most of her time wondering what went wrong, and how she can fix it.

Obviously, Perry did have some kind of mental breakdown (later in the book, Gin starts to believe that he suffered from a form of frontal lobe dementia), as he finds a much younger Vietnamese girlfriend named Ann, who is in the U.S. as a graduate student. He's going to marry her, but no, he misses his old life and wants to get back with Gin. Oh, no, he's not going to marry the girl, but he is going to travel to Vietnam. But wait, no, he texts and emails (rarely calls) Gin, crying inconsolably, wanting to get back together. But amazingly, he lied -- there was no Ann, there is a different Vietnamese student who he's been carrying on with for years! Gin, meanwhile, keeps waiting with baited breath, because she refuses to see that Perry is manipulative, deceitful and a poor excuse for a human being (my words, not hers). Her friends and family tell her to block his texts and emails and let him go. And on and on and on. After several health scares and a to Boston to be closer to her family, not to mention she sold a novel, Gin eventually starts to accept her new life -- yet she still wonders if it could ever work out.

The book goes back and forth between present day and Gin's family history, including the fact that her own father had an affair and left her mother. Her brother, John, who had a wife and children, had AIDS when it was still a "new" disease with all the stigmas and fear that came with the diagnosis. I tried hard not to just skim over theses parts of the book, because they just weren't as interesting to me as the the Gin and Perry saga. Yet, some background was necessary to understand where Gin's own insecurities and rationalizations came from.

This is primarily why I kept reading -- I wanted to find out if she did the right thing and moved on without Perry in her life, or if she gave in because she didn't want to be alone. The most interesting thing I learned is that divorce in later life has become a much more common occurrence. I'd like to have seen more research into that in this book.

Thanks to NetGalley, the author and Apprentice House for the eARC and the opportunity to read and review this memoir.

This memoir wasn’t really to my taste. The premise had potential—navigating unexpected loss and rebuilding life—but the execution didn’t fully work for me. Virginia DeLuca’s writing is engaging, and her reflections on love, loss, and personal resilience are undeniably heartfelt. However, the storytelling felt somewhat disjointed. The frequent jumps between past and present disrupted the flow, making it harder to connect with the emotional core of her journey.

While I could sympathize with her situation—being blindsided by a sudden divorce—I found myself more frustrated than invested. Her husband’s reasoning for leaving was baffling, and the way she continued to carry his emotional baggage made it difficult for me to stay engaged. I kept hoping for a deeper exploration of her own transformation rather than so much focus on the man who left her behind. At times, it felt like the book was circling the same emotions without truly moving forward.

That being said, there were moments of genuine insight, particularly when she leaned into themes of friendship and self-discovery. The writing itself is smooth and evocative, which might appeal to readers who enjoy introspective memoirs. If you’re someone who connects deeply with stories of personal upheaval and slow healing, this might still be worth picking up. Unfortunately, for me, it was just okay—not bad, but not particularly compelling either. Therefore it gets 2 ⭐ from me.

A memoir of growing old and discovering a new relationship with yourself and love. When Virginia Deluca’s 60-year-old husband leaves her because he wants to have children of her own, she must reconstruct her life and find purpose again. This book was raw and really showed the difficult emotions when going through a rough time. There were so many times I wanted to yell at her to stop letting Perry yank her around, but then she would go on to express those same thoughts and the countering emotions that make letting go so hard. A truly fantastic memoir.

If You Must Go, I Wish You Triplets is a raw, emotionally wrenching memoir by Virginia DeLuca. Ginny believes that her marriage to Perry is a solid one. They fell in love later in life and have just celebrated their fourteenth anniversary when the sixty year old Perry tells her he wants a divorce. Why? He wants to have children before it is too late. What follows is the painful, passive aggressive road to divorce. Perry frequently texts Ginny, pleading to come back and then changing his mind. As the shock wears off, Ginny puts their house on the market and moves to be closer to her children. Perry continues to fantasize life with a young wife and baby. Ginny gradually pulls away from Perry, finds new friends and works on this memoir which she bases on her notes and copied texts from the early days of their separation.

If You Must Go, I Wish You Triplets is nonfiction that reads like a novel. Introspection and observation lead Ginny to stop responding to Perry, finalize her divorce and move on. It’s a beautifully described memoir with a perfect title. 5 stars.

Thank you to NetGalley, Apprentice House Press of Loyola University Maryland and Virginia DeLuca for this ARC.

I looooove memoirs and I especially love them when they are written by a ~writer~. (I don’t love rate them though, it doesn’t seem fair/kind? Idk don’t read too much into it thx.)

Virginia and her second husband have been together for 14 years when at age 60 he asks for a divorce out of the blue because he wants to have babies. What follows is laid out in Virginia’s lovely book with beautiful prose that really leaves you admiring a life well-lived AND well-loved.

My only issue (besides her ex-husband, who really got on my nerves) was that the story felt kind of jumpy as we went back and forth between past and present, but that’s a minor complaint!

If you’re not into memoirs I’d say skip this, but if you like them, go for it! Thank you to NetGalley and Apprentice House Press of Loyola University Maryland for the eARC in exchange for an honest review!

An excellent read for any and all readers! Author comes at you with both barrels and knocks you out of your shoes! Great job fleshing out all the characters. I give this book FIVE stars! Definitely recommend!

Lovely book. So many things to learn about growing older, and some things you can't control. Bravo!
Thanks to author, publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.

If You Must Go, I Wish You Triplets: A Memoir by Virginia DeLuca, published by Apprentice House of Press of Loyola University Maryland is just what the title indicates, a memoir.

Spoiler ahead!!!






Virginia believes her marriage to Perry is nearly perfect when he flabbergasts her when he asks for a divorce and tearstained reveals he wants children of his own.
So where does that leave Virginia - not in a good place. To make matters more complicated soon to be ex-husband loads his issues on her shoulders. And that was really hard to swallow for me. I just don't get it, why not make a clean cut but shlep him with you like a weight around your ankle? How can one heal and still face the wimp? I have questions.
But I enjoyed reading this book that left me a bit torn, 4.5 stars.

I just finished this and it was such a fantastic read. Beautiful prose, engrossing story, so much to relate to.

Mostly wonderful story and so much more than just one novel. Author conveyed her life truthfully with additional colorful details on her family life. After reading one must have the best wishes for the main lady. This is the wonder novel that's also modest in length with 250 pages.

If You Must Go, I Wish You Triplets : A Memoir. A very unusual memoir told from the heart. It is shockingly human and unbelievable at the same time. I think the twist that is the shocker is a sixty year old man leaving a marriage that was full of love and happiness (on the surface anyway) because he wants babies. The annoying thing was his gaslighting and total lack of care for the wife he devastated. At a guess (from my limited view of reading the book) that it wasn't about babies at all, just flattery and being desired by a younger foreign women. His shocker will be life in your sixties with babies and young children. Ha Ha Ha good luck with that. The authors' memoir is brave and heartfelt, warts and all.

If You Must Go, I Wish You Triplets by Virginia DeLuca was an engaging memoir. If you are a fan of memoirs, this is the one for you.

I could relate to this novel so much. There is nothing worse than being betrayed and being at the hands of the beytral. This novel gave me hope, humor, and insight into feeling less alone. A home run.