The amount of drinking, drug talk, and lust of women was overwhelming. This book is likely intended for a younger audience, possibly early to mid 20's.

This is quite a fast read which will resonate with people who remember, or who are experiencing, the challenges of transitioning to a new life stage, I found it difficult to relate to the small town feel and the small “p” politics that seem to come with that, but that did not detract from the story itself or my appreciation for the well developed characters.

I Have Never Felt Alive by Christian Gilman Whitney is a moody view of New England, a coming of age existential tale
in it, we have Ryan, returning to his hometown, and his past. Compelling characters make them feel real. Not a long but intense and engaging

A short read that gets to the point without slacking on the power. You feel a lot of tension throughout, knowing something odd is about to happen. Good set-up.
Does what it needs to do to capture your attention.

I Have Never Felt Alive was an emotional read. It could speak to readers who struggle with adjusting to adulthood when they cling to past relationships that aren’t healthy anymore. I certainly understood Ryan’s struggle with morality; is he a good person? He makes many half-assed promises but I believe meaningful at the moment.

I struggled with this read because of how lustful Ryan and his friends are. I won’t get it wrong, the way Ryan ogles women and constantly thinks about sex with any woman he encounters is identical to how he needs alcohol and drugs. Sex, drinking, and drugs are what he needs to ease his mind when he’s losing his ability to keep calm. It just got hard to keep reading about how wide girls’ asses are and how much he wants to pull someone aside to have sex with. I wonder if it’s okay for me to bump down stars because of how uncomfortable I was with Ryan’s sexual thoughts when it’s obviously depicted as flawed, wrong, even.

I Have Never Felt Alive is a quick read, and I recommend it to readers looking for a story about the loss of childhood glee, uncertainty about the future, and regret for past decisions. What would I have done differently? I should have done this, or that. It may not be fit for readers sensitive to the MC’s constant sexual thoughts like I was.

I’d definitely pick up another book by Whitney. Maybe I couldn’t appreciate Ryan’s character more because I don’t manage emotional situations like he does.

This a quick read

Ryan is back in town, unlike many from this area Ryan is one who made it out and finds himself in the big city of Boston. All his friends know he is back to go visit his mother someone he never seems to find the time to go see and he wants to see his pops as his diner and maybe help out a little. But most of all he wants to see his friends and on and off girlfriend who all seem to be stuck in a town where the highlight of the week is which is everyone going to this week or where is the big party at. Ryan finds that many things stay the same and never change but that will not be the case for a close friend.

"I Have Never Felt Alive" by Christian Gilman Whitney is a raw and insightful exploration of the transition from adolescence to adulthood in a dying small town. The novel covers significant ground in just three pivotal days of Ryan's life, portraying a young man at a critical inflection point.

The story follows Ryan as he grapples with the life he's building away from his hometown, questioning whether it aligns with his true desires and if his life up to this point has had any significance at all. Whitney skillfully captures the sense of potential that lies ahead, coupled with the fear and confusion of making life-altering choices. The characters are flawed but relatable, each dealing with the nihilism that permeates their declining small town.

The novel is more explicit than expected, but it serves the story well. The abrupt ending leaves lingering questions, adding to the overall sense of uncertainty that the characters face.

While the book can be a bit of a depressing read, it offers a thoughtful look at the challenges of early adulthood. The author's ability to convey the characters' inner turmoil and the oppressive atmosphere of a dying town is commendable.

Thanks to NetGalley and Atmosphere Press for the early read of the ARC of this book.

I Have Never Felt Alive by Christian Gilman Whitney is a raw and introspective coming-of-age novel that explores the turbulence of returning home and facing unresolved pasts. Ryan’s chaotic weekend spent reconnecting with old friends, his on-again, off-again girlfriend, and the pressure of his family’s expectations propels him into a spiral of self-doubt, addiction, and uncertainty about his future. The novel captures the complexities of growing up, the struggle between desire and responsibility, and the quest for meaning in the midst of chaos. With its fast pace and emotional depth, Whitney crafts a poignant, relatable story about confronting one’s demons and trying to find a sense of self in the process.

I have to admit that I don’t think I’m the intended audience for this Story. The title snagged my attention and I can see the intention but it failed to resonate with me.

It’s a great story about the misanthropic state of the world and the way you never truly escape a small town. The monotony is overwhelming and the escapist tactics by the kids who never got out are layered brilliantly with intrusive thoughts by the main character.

I wish that I had more of a connection with this story, I’m not sure if it’s the gender difference or a culture disconnect on my end. I think it’s a worthy read for anyone wanting to expand their literature and really question their morality.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me to read an ARC of this book. This is my honest opinion.

An excellent read for any and all readers! Author comes at you with both barrels and knocks you out of your shoes! Great job fleshing out all the characters. I give this book FIVE stars! Definitely recommend!

In “I Have Never Felt Alive,” the author masterfully captures the essence of small-town life in New England, a place I know all too well from my own upbringing in a former factory city in southern New England. The novel created a vivid atmosphere for me right from the opening pages, pulling me into a world so familiar that you can almost taste the stale air of the local dive bar, feel the grime of the bathroom floor (because contrary to popular belief both men and women’s bathrooms are quite disgusting at those kind of establishments), and feel the bass from the DJ’s speakers in the background.

The novel follows Ryan, a character who returns to his hometown, and through his eyes, we are introduced to a place haunted by not only the failing of its industrial past, but drugs, poverty, and violence. Throughout the story Ryan struggles with an almost existential question of whether he will ever truly feel alive—whether he’s ever been happy or if he’s just been simply existing. Yet, despite it all the pull of staying and of leaving seems to weigh heavily on Ryan.

What makes the novel truly compelling are its characters. They are flawed, complex, and often unlikable, yet undeniably relatable. Each character carries the weight of their past, their choices, and their unfulfilled dreams, making them feel like real people you might recognize from your own life or past.

The book isn't long, but its brevity doesn’t diminish its power. There’s a quiet tension running through the story, a feeling that something lurks just beneath the surface—whether it's the simmering frustration of those stuck in a place that only seems to get worse, the uncertainty surrounding Ryan’s future, or the pull of peer pressure and the longing to cling to familiar relationships. It’s a strikingly realistic depiction of small-town New England, a place where the past lingers in every corner and where people are often stuck in the inertia of their lives. “I Have Never Felt Alive” is not only a strikingly realistic depiction of small-town New England, it is a reminder of how easy it is to feel both disconnected and deeply tied to the places and people that shape us.

Thank you Atmosphere Press for providing this book for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.