Getting Off
One Woman's Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction
by Erica Garza
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Pub Date Jan 09 2018 | Archive Date Jan 12 2024
Description
A fixation on porn and orgasm, strings of failed relationships and serial hook-ups with strangers, inevitable blackouts to blunt the shame – these are not things we often hear women share publicly, and not with the candor, eloquence and introspection Erica Garza brings to Getting Off.
What sets this courageous and riveting account apart from your typical misery memoir is the absence of any precipitating trauma beyond the garden variety of hurt we’ve all had to endure in simply becoming a person ― reckoning with family, learning to be social, integrating what it means to be sexual. Whatever tenor of violence or abuse Erica’s life took on through her behavior was of her own making, fueled by fear, guilt, self-loathing, self-pity, loneliness, and the hopelessness those feelings brought on as she runs from one side of the world to the other in an effort to break her habits —from East Los Angeles to Hawaii and Southeast Asia, through the brothels of Bangkok and the yoga studios of Bali to disappointing stabs at therapy and twelve-steps back home.
In these remarkable pages, Garza draws an evocative, studied portrait of the anxiety that fuels her obsessions, as well as the exhilaration and hope she begins to feel when she suspects she might be free of them. And yet there is no false or prepackaged sense of redemption here. Even her relationship with the man she will ultimately marry seems credibly, painfully rocky as it finds its legs with several false starts. Erica’s increasing sense of self-acceptance and peace by journey’s end feels utterly earned, and absent of recovery platitudes.
In exploring the cultural taboos surrounding sex and porn from a female perspective, Garza offers a brave and necessary voice to our evolving conversations about addiction and the impact that Internet culture has had on us all.
Available Editions
| EDITION | Other Format |
| ISBN | 9781501163371 |
| PRICE | $26.00 (USD) |
| PAGES | 224 |
Available on NetGalley
Featured Reviews
Jeremy R, Reviewer
This is a powerful memoir exploring the depths that addiction can reach and the harm that it can cause. The author is very open and honest about her behavior and actions as she fed her sexual addiction. One of the strengths of the book is that the author is female and is writing about a type of addiction that most people would associate with men. Not only does this hopefully make it easier for other women to confront their own sex addiction, if appropriate, but hopefully her courage in writing this memoir will help others who are struggling with an addiction that is stereotypically associated with a particular gender or ethnic group or socioeconomic status or other category that does not fit the particular addict.
Another strength of the book is that the author acknowledges that she is not "cured." She admits that she still experiences the urges/desires to engage in the self-destructive behavior that defined her life for so many years and she admits that sometimes she slips up and indulges these desires, but she has developed coping skills to both help her deal with and move forward after "falling off the wagon" and keep her from sinking too far back into past unhealthy habits.
While many people might be turned off by the subject matter (or only read it for the salacious content), I think the book is valuable for everyone. Although most people do not have an addiction as time-consuming and destructive as the author's, I think all of us have an addiction of some sorts or are prone to addiction, whether it is sex, drugs, gambling, shopping, food, the computer, exercise, work, spirituality, etc. as a way to compensate for or escape from some aspect of ourselves that we dislike, are ashamed of, fear, etc. We could all benefit from taking a deeper look at ourselves, the things we do/how we spend our time, and whether our actions/behaviors are truly healthy.
Readers who liked this book also liked:
Jodi Picoult; Jennifer Finney Boylan
General Fiction (Adult), Literary Fiction, Women's Fiction
