Should I stay or should I go? Maybe things just aren’t the same. Maybe there’s been a major violation of trust. Maybe you have seen a greener pasture that you’re thinking about exploring. 

There are many reasons why you may find yourself at a crossroads in your relationship, wondering if it is time to break up or if things can be repaired. This decision shouldn’t be made lightly. 

These 37 questions are designed to help you fully analyze and reflect on your relationship so that you can take the best path forward. These questions will also help you realize what lessons you have learned in your relationship and how you approach love. If you do make the choice to leave, they will help you do so gracefully and with a plan in place.

Whether you decide to stay or go, there are no judgments here—just guidance to help you recognize how to live your best life and find “your happy.” You are the only one who can determine what the best choice is for you, but this book will help get you there. Making the decision to give up your dreams of being together forever and walking away from someone you loved or maybe still love can be excruciatingly painful.

The thoughts of what the relationship used to be, the intimate encounters, maybe the birth of a child, the shared memories, private jokes and the really good times you shared can keep you locked in a failed relationship, hoping to find the magic again. Your hopes and dreams for the relationship and the thought of leaving the memories behind to enter an uncertain future can keep some people emotionally paralyzed for years.

Even though they may instinctively know that for all practical purposes the relationship is no longer functioning as it should, they still hold on to the dream of what it used to be or could be. Being unsure, confused and fearful of the future is okay for a while, but you must not let thoughts of the past and what used to be, keep you frozen in time. You must determine if the relationship is fixable or damaged beyond repair.

If there is a chance that the relationship is fixable, then you have to determine what went wrong and if you are up to the task of fixing it. This exploration and assessment phase is extremely important, because if you don’t identify exactly what went wrong, then you may leave this relationship and find yourself knee deep in another relationship with exactly the same issues and problems.

You must make a conscious decision to seek “your happy,” rather than fighting to keep a relationship that is severely broken and on life support. Most importantly, if you must end the relationship, you must resist the temptation to try to destroy each other and the memories you shared. You must be completely honest about where the relationship is and how it got there.

To start the healing process, you will have to first decide if you are going to stay or go. Either way, you will have to 1) Find the good in your relationship 2) Accept your contributions toward the good and the bad in the relationship 3) Recognize your relationship patterns, and 4) Focus on your healing whether you stay with your partner or go it alone.

There are no time capsules to take you back to fix the wrongs, so the next best thing to do is to learn the lessons from your past relationships before you repeat the same mistakes and reserve your next room at the Heartbreak Hotel.

Is it time to Leave Your Lover? was designed to help you: Realize where you are Determine how you got there See your relationship clearly Recognize your patterns Decide whether you want to stay in this relationship or not Know your motivations Develop a transition plan Heal yourself Rid yourself of toxic energy And find “your happy.”