Once Upon a Time, Bitches

Hi, I’m Branden. That is me on the cover. Yes, I have a boy’s name, a Mom bod, and the tattoos are real. Once upon a time I realized we all have a story, we all have a struggle and happiness is relative. I am not cynical or hardened, I am just stating the facts. Here’s the deal:

Prince Charming doesn’t exist.

Fairy Godmother is drunk.

Glass slippers don’t come 2 day prime shipping from Amazon.

There is no magic fairytale, but if YOU work at it enough you can come pretty close creating your version with a happy ending. The best part is, in life you can continue to make edits until that stuff reads exactly how you want it to. You may not agree with everything I say in this book but the most important takeaway is that YOU have to be your own hero. No more damsel locked in a tower, bs. That ends now.

Join me as I take you through my 7 Magical Maxims for creating a fairytale life. (I know what you are thinking: Branden, no one gets a fairytale life.) Can you stop being so damn cynical for two seconds and just go with this? Good. Here they are:

#1 Realize that no one is coming to save you. You have to save yourself.
#2: Accept total responsibility for every damn aspect of your life.
#3: Stop comparing yourself to others and just f*cking be you.
#4: Dream dreams that are so big they make people doubt you.
#5: Your life is the sum of your choices. Choose well.
#6: Eliminate everything evil and negative from your kingdom.
#7: Love yourself so hard you have an abundance to share with others.

Is it possible to design a fairytale life? Control your destiny? Be the hero in your story? I believe you can and that’s why I wrote this book. I am going to make you a little uncomfortable. Back out now if you aren't ready.