Enough about Me

First sentence: I am nearing my fortieth birthday. In just a couple weeks my friends and family will gather to celebrate, and I’m looking forward to it. Forty. It’s a much-anticipated age.

Sadly, this is a MUCH NEEDED book. If I could, if I had the power, I would make EVERY ABOUT-TO-BE-PUBLISHED author read this book before his/her book is actually published. Perhaps the line has always been a blur between Christian living and self-help books. Perhaps looking at the publisher of a book used to give readers more of a clue as to if it was "self-help" or "Christian living." Perhaps in days gone by Christian living used to be less me-me, me. Or maybe not. That's not an experiment I want to commit to making--to read all the Christian living books that have been published over the last hundred years.

So what is this one about? It's about GOD, GOD, GOD, GOD, GOD, yes, and did I mention it was about God?!?! The title essentially says it all, this is not a book telling YOU that YOU have all the answers, and that YOU are enough, and that everything you need is right there inside of YOU just waiting for you to tap into YOUR own strength, own destiny, own gibber-gabber. The book covers how to do life--as a godly, God-fearing, God-believing, God-worshipping woman.

I loved, loved, loved it. It truly counters essentially everything you're taught by the world, by society, by culture, by the books you read, by the music you listen to, by the shows you watch. Stop lying to yourself--it urges. Wake up! Take note!
"When we deify ourselves, we require reality to conform to our own desires, rather than the other way around (conforming ourselves to reality). And whether we know it or not, this self-deification requires us to worship ourselves, to uphold ourselves, to convince ourselves that we are enough and worthy of following. When we become our own source of meaning, we also become our only source of satisfaction and fulfillment. We set ourselves in a cycle of defining ourselves and worshiping ourselves. To uphold this worldview, we must become our own masters. Ironically, we don’t actually become free. We must not only muster our own meaning and goals and dreams, but we must supply our own energy and ability to accomplish them. With ourselves on the throne we must truly be self-made women: we must conjure up everything from the meaning of life to the energy and ability to live it out. This makes us fragile. It’s all on us. Today we have to create our worlds and make them go round too. The problem with self-deification is that it limits oneself to oneself. We disable ourselves by not permitting ourselves to look to something bigger—something outside (or someone outside, as we’ll investigate in the next chapter)—for our meaning and purpose. Our only hope is to believe ourselves when we say we are enough."
"We twenty-first-century women have been running on ourselves, rather than our God. We’ve been running on self-help, self-empowerment, and self-actualization. The fuel of self has run out, and that’s why we’re tired and discouraged and even in crisis. Enough about me. And enough about you. If we want to keep running, we need to run on the fuel we’re made for—God himself."
What we think of as empowering ourselves is really crippling ourselves.

Oshman invites readers to ask different questions, and seek answers in God's Word. She shares with her readers the BIG PICTURE story of the Bible; how all 66 books of the Bible work to tell one story. It's a grand, action-packed story in four parts: creation, fall, redemption, and restoration.
"These four movements make up the big story of the Bible. God created us, we rebelled against him, he redeemed us, and one day all will be restored. That big story about God is also our story because we were made in his image. We must know that we’re a part of that story before we can know what we must do. It’s in tethering ourselves to that story—in recognizing that we were created on purpose for a purpose—that we will thrive. God says, I made you in my image to live for my glory. Culture says, Be self-made in whatever image you like and live for your own glory. This is a counterfeit calling, and it’s killing us."
I definitely get the impression that Oshman believes wholeheartedly that man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever. (Westminster Shorter Catechism, Q/A 1)

The whole book cover to cover is a solid, compelling, truth-packed, gospel-saturated read that though marketed to women is relevant to everyone. Men and women could benefit by reading this one and doing a little self-reflection. It has depth and substance. It isn't fluff--the opposite of it, in fact. It offers much food for thought, and asks readers to challenge themselves.

"Our intuition says the more we prioritize ourselves, the better we will feel about ourselves. But in reality, the more you and I look at ourselves, the more we loath ourselves because we fall short. When we fix our eyes on Jesus, when we behold our good God and ponder what he has done, your self worth and mine is elevated. We remember that we have inherent value as dearly created children. We remember that we are chosen, adopted, and loved (see Gal. 3:26–27). In other words, when we transition from self-focus to Jesus-focus, we actually end up with a better self-image—because it’s dependent on him who made us, not on ourselves. Because God is the author of our lives and the Redeemer of our souls, we will thrive when we study him, know him, love him, root ourselves in him, and renew our minds in him. Feasting on him, beholding him, and making the change from me-ology to theology is the key to your wellbeing and mine."

"Life is lived in minutes, which add up to hours and days and years. Whatever we love most each minute is what drives our action in the present. Those minutes build, one on top of the other. Life is a culmination of our momentary desires. Whatever our hearts love each minute will lead us for a lifetime. We are what we love. Each of us must therefore ask, What do I love? What am I loving the most right now?"

"Here’s the telltale sign that our god, our faith, and our calling are small and self-created: we find ourselves at the center of them all. You and I must ask ourselves if the values of our god are identical to our own. Have we reworded the Bible so that it matches our preferences, rather than us being changed by it? Are we living exactly like our non-Christian friends and family and simply slapping a #blessed on all we do? Are we being stretched beyond ourselves? In our quest for joy, are we living for our own glory, our own name, our own success? Can we honestly say that our Christianity requires faith? Because what Jesus asks of us requires great faith. He asks you and me to die. And in that death, he promises joy."

"If your devotional book, your women’s Bible study, your pastor, your favorite Christian author, or your Christian best friend don’t encourage you to come and die, an alarm should go off in your head. If their messages are for self-preservation and self-promotion, you know they don’t match God’s word. If they want to bless you on the small cycle, you know it’s not the life Jesus has for you."

Enough About Me: Finding Lasting Joy in the Age of Self, by Jen Oshamn, is a book that is needed for our culture, to fight against the it’s all about me, I can do myself, I am enough mentality that is being shared and taught to us starting as children. Jen shares statics and research about the mental and emotional health crisis and the suicide rates that have increased due to this message that is everywhere. She goes back and shares the history and worldviews from past cultures so that we can see how we got here. From this we see why truth, right and wrong are now facing issues. Discernment has been thrown out. Another issue facing us, is the me-centered culture, which results in all the self help books out there on Christian shelves and stores geared towards women. Women are wearing out and less happy now, then past few decades even though our living has greatly improved and we have so many wonderful opportunities. Jen tackles this and much more with research from past theologians, history, worldview, and Scripture. All while she points us back to our Creator and Savior. This is no fluff book, you may feel your toes getting stepped on, but I think you will feel relived and encouraged by the truth she shares. This whole book is theologically solid and by the end of the book you will have a lot to ponder on.
This is a book all women should read, and I might even say leaders in the church too, to see what is we women are being fed and faced with. This would make a great group study book, as she provides discussion questions at the end of each chapter that would make for great conversation with others.
Here are a few quotes from the book. I had so much highlighted it was hard to narrow it down.
Reformer John Calvin called it five hundred years ago when he said, “For the plague of submitting to our own rule leads us straight to ruin.” Truly, we are lost in a darkness of our own making, and we got here by dethroning God and enthroning ourselves.
This turning to God is a sort of death. We ultimately realize we cannon handle ourselves, our souls, our futures, our contentment. We need something, someone, outside of ourselves. We need our Creator who is also our Redeemer, our rescuer, our load bearer.
God says, ‘I made you in my image to live for my glory. Culture says, ‘Be self-made in whatever image you like and live for your own glory.’ This is a counterfeit calling, and it’s killing us.
If your devotional book, your women’s Bible study, your pastor, your favorite Christian author, or your Christian best friend don’t encourage you to come and die, an alarm should go off in your head. If their messages are for self-preservation and self-promotion, you know they don’t match God’s word. If they want to bless you on the small cycle, you know it’s not the life Jesus has for you.
Life is lived in minutes, which add up to hours and days and years. Whatever we love most each minute is what drives our action in the present. Those minutes build, one on top of the other. Life is a culmination of our momentary desires. Whatever our hearts love each minute will lead us for a lifetime. We are what we love. Each of us must therefore ask, What do I love? What am I loving the most right now?

This is a really excellent book. In a world that constantly claims that we are enough this book simply points to that fact that we are not enough, that only God is enough. It is a very engaging read, full of illustrations, bible passages and discussion questions. I feel that it would be an excellent book to study with a small group or even to use as a bible study with an unbelieving friend. It is a book full of comfort, we never will be enough but through Gods grace we are loved more than we know and he carries us through it all.

As Jen Oshman says, “We twenty-first-century women have been running on ourselves, rather than our God. We’ve been running on self-help, self-empowerment, and self-actualization. The fuel of self help has run out, and that’s why we’re tired and discouraged and even in crisis. Enough about me. And enough about you. If we want to keep running, we need to run on the fuel we’re made for—God himself. We will indeed be restless until then.” Yes! I'm so grateful for this book and cannot wait to see its impact on the church in America. This message is definitely needed!

In the world today, even in the midst of a pandemic, women are experiencing a crisis of unhappiness.

Perhaps it is even it's own pandemic.

Jen Oshman, in her new book, Enough About Me: Finding Joy in an Age of Self, writes to women, to encourage them to find true, lasting joy, as they become rooted in Christ.

She writes that "holiness requires intentionality. If we are going to pursue lasting joy, we must be rooted, built up, and established in the Gospel."

So, why do we lack joy in the first place?

She proposes that we have developed a me-centered faith. Our worship songs, our spiritual growth, as a Christian culture, has slipped into a mindset of me. We can sing about what we will do for God, what we want from God. During worship services, we think about how the worship served me, and benefited me. By doing this we begin to think that we are most important.

A me-centered faith also means that we begin to believe in ourselves. We think that we can carry on in our own strength, resist temptation by our own power or grow by our own practice of disciplines. Strength, resilience and spiritual disciplines are not bad things, but if we forget that God's grace touches us first, that it is His grace given that actually equips us in all these endeavours, we have missed the mark.

The solution?

~Joy begins to grow as we nourish ourselves in God alone. In the middle of a pandemic and isolation, we need to be extra careful about what we are feeding ourselves with. Our brains read the headlines, we talk about it with our family and friends and it becomes an obsession. Let's take some time out of social media to actually sit and receive the grace of God's Word, to rest in prayer and fix our eyes on what is true.

~We confess our need for Jesus. We really, truly need to depend on Him. When we give thanks before a meal, are we truly grateful? Do we recognize God's hand of mercy over us in our health, our jobs, which provide us the means of gaining access this food? We forget what it means to truly rely and depend on Him. During the pandemic, we begin to feel that angst and panic, because we are used to being in control.

~It's time to order our loves. "It's not a matter of knowing what's best; it's a matter of loving what's best." We may know truth, yet what keeps us from living out that truth? If it's recognizing that spending time with Jesus would be more beneficial than another 15min reading headlines, what's stopping us from doing it? Let's take courage and make choices to foster a love for what He loves.

~Joy in sacrifice. The greatest demonstration of love is always found in someone's sacrifice. What does sacrifice look like for you and how you love on others? Will we face whatever God asks of us with joy? There are so many circumstances that we have no control over. Can we surrender our circumstances, our loved ones and our futures to Him?

"Lasting joy comes from that journey, and he's eager to provide it to you and to me. Life in Christ - real life, the losing of this life for the gaining of his - is the powerful antidote that stands ready to respond to the discouragement and disillusionment created by the age of self"

As we root ourselves in Christ, we will find that lasting joy that our heart longs for. The pursuit of it in any other way, will always lead to disappointment. This is a great read for women who are looking for joy, and for those who serve others. As we lead with a greater awareness of where we find our identity, we are better able to discern and reflect on how the grace of God is bestowed on us every day.

How is your joy these days?


Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an advanced reader copy of this book and the opportunity to post an honest review!

#EnoughAboutMe #Netgalley

Enough about me by Jen Oshman is a book that is very much needed in today’s world. This book is for those who are tired or burned out and feel like they are not enough.
This book states:
Women today feel a constant pressure to improve themselves and just never feel like they're "enough." All too often, they live their daily lives disheartened, disillusioned, and disappointed. That's because joy doesn't come from a new self-improvement strategy; it comes from rooting their identity in who God says they are and what he has done on their behalf.

This book calls women to look away from themselves in order to find the abundant life God offers them--contrasting the cultural emphasis on personal improvement and empowerment with what the Scriptures say about a life rooted, built up, and established in the gospel.

The Believe-In-Yourself Gospel is the junk food. It is a me-centered teaching has crept in, set up camp, and been so widely accepted that we don't even wrestle with it anymore. The me centered Gospel has left us wanting and unsatisfied. There is hope!

Are you tired? Are you run-down? Have you gone thru the Christian Treadmill of activities, relationships, and have gone up empty. The simple reason we are running on empty is our self-reliance. Even our teaching can be me centered and our Christian radio. It is so subtle that we don't even notice it. However, we do feel the affects. What is the root of the me-centered gospel? It is attractive and to be honest, it made me think of Eve and her attraction to the apple. I think this book is so needed for us today. It is not about putting us down as women but raising us up to be women focused on what really matters. To become more alive in Christ than dead in our own choices. "We look to ourselves, to the products we choose and buy, to the methods we choose to live by, to the things we can produce, and to the lifestyle choices we make for our value and identity."

This text will ask the tough questions and it will give you honest answers. Answers that will give you to Jesus and to be his daughter! Highly recommend.

A Special Thank you to Crossway Publishing and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review

A solid book written for Christian women - will be recommending it others! I look forward to reading more from Oshman.

This is a much needed book in society today. The religion of "self-help" is taking over Christian bookstores, but unfortunately, they don't give a Christian message. Many of the "Christian" self-help books today focus on us and are all about me-me-me...not on how we need to be looking to and relying on God in the midst of the problems we are facing. If we want a true answer to the issues we face, we can't look within ourselves...we must look to the One who created all things. Otherwise, we will just continue to be feeding into the lies that we have heard for years. You can tell that Jen Oshman has a servant's heart and wants to set the record straight! I highly recommend this book to everyone!

As someone who can definitely be self-absorbed at times, this was a great wake-up call. Would recommend for others who feel overwhelmed by social media/self-promotion and are looking for ways to find connection in life.

I really loved the concept of this book, but once I got into it, I wasn't immediately learning a lot. It was an easy read, which was great. I still think this is a title that I would really like, but it wasn't hitting me at a time when I felt like I needed it. I'm still very interested in this author and her work.