Minding Miss Manners

I first became a fan of Miss Manners back in the early ‘80s when I bought her first book. Times have changed since then and Miss M. has kept up. Her blend of snark and sensibility is as potent (and fun to read) as it ever was.

Thanks to NetGalley for providing an ARC copy for my review.

“When that element of thoughtfulness is eliminated, what is left?” - Miss Manners

I really enjoyed this! Miss Manners offers a balanced, level-headed perspective on common “problematic” social interactions, delivered with subtle doses of reproachfulness or tongue-in-cheek humour, whichever appropriate. Miss Manners is always, if anything, appropriate! If you have enjoyed reading her advice column in the past, I am going to guess you will love this.

From the woman who is notably the leading expert on manners, but perhaps the wittiest as well, this book looks at the various situations an predicaments modern life and technology brings us. From what to do about people who snub you on social media to how professionally to handle unwelcome advances from clients.

Her advice is always good, practical and wonderful to read.

A witty and interesting book full of useful advice on how to manage in the current world.
I liked the humour, the style of writing and how well the author describes the different situations.
A useful and entertaining read, highly recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this ARC, all opinions are mine.

Thank you to the author, Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I have fond memories of reading Miss Manner's syndicated column in the newspaper every week, enjoying the glimpse into grown-up manners and the conundrums involved - and thus was delighted to be given access to her newest book.

Advice founded on common sense, always given politely and with respect: I didn't expect any less from Miss Manners. In this volume she tackles many of the frequently problematic social interactions of our self-absorbed age, and gives clear and helpful direction. What I enjoyed most are the witty and slightly snarky responses to those issues arising through collisions with those to whom "manners" are a foreign concept. I wish I were as articulate as Miss Manners - but with this book under my belt, I have a good start on trying to be.

Wow! This was not the etiquette book that I was expecting! I was expecting something along the lines of an Emily Post rule book, with well organized chapters in which I can look up my etiquette questions as they arrive in my life. Instead, this book was six chapters, each with multiple sub chapters, of wonderful correspondence between Miss Manners and her Gentle Readers arranged in a stream of consciousness fashion.

The book is based on the premise that our society has become one where people are free to be themselves - unregulated by etiquette - and no one is happy. Etiquette is viewed as the “extra-legal system of voluntarily restraint to avoid unnecessarily antagonizing others,” a “Civility Tax” that reasonable people must pay to maintain the smooth functioning of a happy society. From that premise, the six chapters address the common and the crazy etiquette breaches of the 21st century.

This is a book that must be read cover to cover, rather than pulled off a dusty shelf and referenced to prepare for an event or settle a dispute. Only by reading the book as a whole do certain themes appear, which recalibrate one’s approach to the world. The chapters are rather cryptically named, but each begins with a Miss Manners rant that makes the content to be covered a little less murky. The chapters are as follows:

Chapter one - sources of misinformation
Chapter two - lopsided etiquette
Chapter three - extortionist etiquette
Chapter four - virtuous rudeness
Chapter five - etiquette hazards: technology and sex (in that order)
Chapter six - unfortunate approaches

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has the slightest bit of anxiety about navigating the current “Free to Be Me” culture, replete with its smartphones and social media. The themes that appear in the book will definitely help you cope.

My only regret about having read this book as a galley, rather than a published product, is that there was no table of contents or index in the galley. I don’t know if these are planned additions to the published book, but those would be quite helpful in making this book a relevant source of reference as well.

I received this book as a digital advance reader copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Miss Manners, aka Judith Martin, first began writing about etiquette many years ago.  This book is her return to scolding and helping us out.  With her signature wit and common sense, along with an inability to suffer fools gladly, Miss Manners dispenses advice and opinions on everything from Christmas wish lists to restaurant behavior to wedding etiquette and so much more.  A warm welcome back to the acerbic Miss Manners whose advice is spot on and entertaining to read.


Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this title in exchange for an honest review.

If I could pick people to eat dinner with, Judith Martin, a.k.a. Miss Manners would be high on my list. I love her acerbic wit. Alas, I probably would not be on her list as witty I am not. In fact, she would most likely cancel at the last minute. I used to read Miss Manner's advice to her gentle readers in the newspaper but my local paper dies not to carry the column anymore. This book is full of Miss Manners fabulous advice on any social situation you could ever come across with a smart answer to go with it. Never fear Miss Manners will never allow her gentle reader to set a foot wrong in a social situation. However, the gentle reader must never throw a "selfie" party complete with a gift grab, the gentle reader must leave the electronic devices with the wraps at dinner, and above all gentle reader mind your own business. Also, gentle reader, you are not required to find others life's moments like births, engagements, marriages, honeymoons, change of residences, house buying, illness, college, divorce, funeral, or any other life event others feel a small party and a financial contribution should come from you. I was greatly surprised by a lot of the delicate situations in the book and the flat out selfishness displayed by people but Miss Manners was not and she was able to dish out great advice for those who found themselves in awkward or maddening social situations. Miss Manners does say it is not o.k. to wait a year to send thank you notes and accept that you will not be invited to all your friends get together's. Also, Miss Manners has a fainting couch? A truly great read. Thank you to Netgalley, the publisher, and Judith Martin for allowing me to read this book in exchange for a review.

I always enjoy Miss Manners, and this book includes the wit and wisdom that readers have come to expect. In this guide, she gives advice on navigating contemporary social and technological situations. Her advice is straightforward and logical.

I do think that the chapter organization could have been more clear. The chapter titles are abstract, so I wasn't sure at a glance how the book was organized. This is especially true since there doesn't seem to be a table of contents. There are also a few chapters that veer into new topics (parenthood, wedding) that don't seem connected to what came before. As a reader, I feel that a little more attention was needed to signposting the book's organization.

This book is not in the style once found in Post or Vanderbilt books on the subject. Instead it’s a loose flowing collection of various letters and responses. The letters are from the confused, the concerned, the crass, and the confident. Some are seeking answers to issues they’ve run up against while others are obviously seeking agreement for behavior that ought to make them blush. The witty replies had me laughing and nodding even while the letters sometimes made me wince or want to facepalm or head-desk. Seriously – a bride confronted guests at her reception who hadn’t yet sent a gift and offered to take a check right then? A person notified a friend that they wouldn’t be getting a Christmas card because she only bought 25 this year but here was her gift registry anyway?

I think the book might have better chapter titles and perhaps an index at the end but the wit and (slight) snark provide pithy answers to those seeking to be mannered and polite in a world of those who aren’t. B

Thank you Netgalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for access to this arc.

Miss Manners is as snarky as ever in this latest offering, and I for one find it delightful. Her advice is spot on, and refreshing in these seemingly etiquette-free times. Modern situations are addressed, such as the trend for having/expecting endless parties and showers before weddings or handing out lengthy gift lists for all occasions to more classic etiquette questions about when sending a thank you note is required or how to properly throw or attend a dinner party. In these times when manners seem to be falling to the wayside more and more, this book is sorely needed!

#MindingMissManners #NetGalley