Dancing with the Octopus

Dancing With The Octopus is a quite stunning book by Debora Harding that tells how her already traumatic young life at the hands of an abusive Mother saw,in her words,the end of her childhood at the age of 14 when she was kidnapped , raped and left to die by a stranger. Even just after the rape Debora's Mother's sociopathic behaviour left her without support,sympathy or empathy when she most needed it, then and for the rest of her life. The rapist is found and convicted but as a child Debora is spared a court appearance. With her Father playing the good guy but doing nothing the Mother's reign of terror against Debora and her sisters wrecks lives and leaves emotional scars. With PTSD and other mental disorders plaguing Debora even when she's happily married with 2 children of her own Debora tries to bring closure to both of the issues in her life that have caused her so much damage,all this incredibly while being very successful in a variety of career paths.
While still addressing the problems her Mother has caused Debora decides that she needs to face her rapist and tell him what damage he's caused to her and her family despite the attack being 25 years previous to and her not even knowing his name.
The latter part of the book concentrates on Debora's attempts to get both of her tormentors to acknowledge what they've done and to address their behaviour, so she can find closure.
The book is raw , hard-hitting and at times heart-breaking as Debora describes herself left alone thinking she'll die after the attack with only the thought of her Dad's love for her keeping her from giving up. This is all the more poignant as her school photo is shown, a photo that was taken a couple of hours before her ordeal when she had no idea what was ahead.
Debora also tells of, losing her belief in God after the attack, something a neighbour of mine told me off after she'd been an Army nurse and one of the first people into Belsen after its liberation.
This is not an easy read because of the subject matter but Debora is a very eloquent narrator and tells her story without embellishment or self-pity .
An often harrowing reading but ultimately an up-lifting one.

Thanks to Debora Harding ,Serpent's Tail/Profile Books and Netgalley for an ARC in return for an honest review.

In this innovative memoir, Deborah Harding examines trauma and its lasting impact.
When she was 14, Harding was abducted at knifepoint, assaulted and left to die. She shifts between the past and present to tell the story of this traumatic 4 hours, along side the story of growing up with her abusive mother. She examines the impact of each of these things on her life, her choices as an adult and her mental health.
Though I have read other memoirs which cover similar topics to Dancing with the Octopus, I found this one unique. Harding's choice to tell the story in a non-linear fashion gives a real insight into the way a trauma you thought long gone can affect your later life and your family relationships. The story of her mothers behaviour is sad but Harding discusses with great insight, intelligence and compassion the effects it had on her family, and especially on her relationship with her father, who turned a blind eye to the abuse.
Harding also writes about her abductor, and how in an attempt to deal with the trauma as an adult she seeks restorative justice. I found her bravery in this section of the book awe inspiring.
At times heartbreaking, this memoir is an absolute must read

Deborah's story is one that will stay with me for a long time. Her extreme bravery and openness are great examples of how we deal with things as humans. Her writing is clear yet full of emotion, the narrative structure is presented in a well thought out way that keeps giving the more you read it.

Thank you Deborah for putting your story into the world.