Growing Up Ugly

“A deeply moving and clear-eyed memoir filled with poetry, art and most of all — love.”
—Jacqueline Woodson, 2020 Winner of the MacArthur Foundation “Genius Grant”; Former Library of Congress National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature; Astrid Lindgren Memorial Award Laureate 2018; Author of Brown Girl Dreaming - National Book Award Winner 2014; Author of Another Brooklyn - National Book Award Finalist 2016; Author of Red at the Bone (Riverhead, 2019)

“Growing Up Ugly is a coming-of-age story that represents those most often unheard and unseen. At the heart of Rolling’s memoir is the weaving together of multiple creative modes of expression to invite in adolescent readers and to share stories with language, prose, and illustrations that will resonate with generations to come. This book should especially be introduced to male readers of color whose identities and experiences are least represented in the field of children’s and adolescent literature. Growing Up Ugly signals a turn toward more honest and authentic first-person accounts of the Black male experience in America.”
—Dr. Marcelle Haddix - Professor of Literacy, Syracuse University; 2019 President, Literacy Research Association

“Once again the United States is being called upon to take an unflinching look at what it means to be Black in America. James Rolling has given us a gift; an honest account of his own experience. Told in vignettes, photos, and original poetry, Growing Up Ugly reveals the struggle with self-image and discovery of purpose that marks every human life, but is particularly acute for men of color. While the narrative of the African diaspora on this continent remains unfinished, this poignant memoir adds to our collective journey toward understanding and healing.”
—Rev. John Carter - Lead Pastor, Abundant Life, Syracuse, NY; Author of The Transformed Life (Harrison House, 2014)

“Rooted in poignant personal experiences, Rolling’s unflinching narrative and evocative poems shed compelling insights into youth anxieties through the lens of his own struggles with identity, appearance, friendships, and a lifetime of racialized spaces and encounters. Candidly sharing a series of short vignettes ranging from bouts with asthma, bullying, abuse, a father’s flaws, and shattered dreams, this memoir is ultimately a tale of transcendence as an ugly duckling becomes a swan. Growing Up Ugly is a transformative journey for every adolescent, parent, and educator.”
—Dr. Uzo Unobagha - ALA Notable Book Award-winning Author of Off To The Sweet Shores of Africa and Other Talking Drum Rhymes; Educator, Syracuse City School District, Syracuse, NY

“James Rolling has given the world the greatest of all gifts: HOPE, especially for those of us whose personal histories have left us marginalized, invisible, and without a healthy sense of self. Being the son of a Mohawk mother, I have found my face in Rolling’s memoir, Growing Up Ugly. Yes, we have all been shaped by our personal histories. But we can all be more than those histories. Rolling’s incredible book lights the way.”
—H. Dale Lloyd - Author of October’s Dying: The Tragic Story of the North American Indigenous Peoples

"In Growing Up Ugly, Dr. James H. Rolling, Jr. allows his readers a few precious moments inside the skin of a brilliant young man during his most formative years. We begin to grasp the complicated roots of his perceived ugliness. Yet from these roots, Rolling forges a network of circuitous routes toward identity formation. Along the way, he is challenged internally and externally by the onlooking gaze of a world that would dictate his value, his meaning, his very humanity, based on a constellation of factors that far exceed his own reach. Through his art and his intellect, our protagonist discovers a voice that has something to say to the world, and a beauty worth beholding. This book is all at once an excellent work of memoir, poetry, visual art, photography, and social commentary. What a privilege it is to see the world through the eyes of a child who doesn't know how beautiful he truly is! I know too many of them in my own life. I will share the lessons of growth and triumph that I have learned from Rolling’s compelling story with those who need a reminder that they deserve a space to shine on the center stage of life! This is one of those books that transcends generational and demographic differences. Rolling’s generosity and artistry will overwhelm you with gratitude and compel you to share it with others.”
—Dr. Sonny Kelly - Author of The Talk