A Dumb Birds Field Guide to the Worst Birds Ever

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Pub Date Mar 11 2025 | Archive Date Mar 10 2025

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Description

Professional birding amateur and national bestselling author Matt Kracht has had it with these goddamn birds. His new book is a warning, a field guide to help you identify and stay away from the absolute worst birds ever to plague planet Earth. Featuring an all-new scientific scale devised by the author that proves how awful birds really are.

 We can all agree—birds are terrible. They're stupid and won't shut up.

Featuring fifty of the absolute worst birds to fly the earth, Kracht identifies each of their most terrible qualities, details exactly why they suck, and shows you why with furious (but actually quite lovely) full-color drawings. Including all-new, all-worst fowl, such as:

  • The absolute waste of feathers Cruddy Turdstone (Ruddy Turnstone)
  • The utter a-hole Blank Staring-Eyes Flycrapper (Black Paradise Flycatcher)
  • The outright loser Dowdy Woodfucker (Downy Woodpecker)
  • And many more
 
Even the author's previous bird takedown guides are no preparation for this hilariously harrowing collection of squawking, conceited, trash-eating, and even murderous idiots. The horror. The horror . . .

LOVE BIRDS? HATE BIRDS?: For those who hate birds and for bird lovers everywhere with a sense of humor, this illustrated handbook is equal parts profane and funny, and—let's face it—true.

BESTSELLING AUTHOR: Matt Kracht is the author of the bestselling Field Guide to Dumb Birds series, including The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of the Whole Stupid World, and The Big Dumb Bird Journal, and (in a startling turn of enthusiasm) OMFG, BEES!

ENTERTAINING AND EDUCATIONAL: This uproarious guide to all things wings includes migratory maps, tips for bird identification, musings on the avian population and classification, and more. Plus, each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.
 
TRULY THE WORST BIRDS---A MUST-HAVE GUIDE: Even if you're familiar with the winged disasters from Matt's previous guidebook/warnings, buckle up. From the introduction:
"Birds are TERRIBLE. I have spent years, YEARS, of my life studying birds. Watching them. Analyzing their behaviors. Determining their ‘contributions’ to the world. I am an expert, so believe me when I tell you this: Birds are horrible people. And the birds included in THIS book are, by far, the worst of the lot. Of all the shit-eating birds that I’ve had the misfortune to catalog over the course of my career as a scientist and professional bird critic, THESE birds take the absolute SHIT-CAKE!"
 
GREAT GIFT FOR BIRD LOVERS: Pair with The Field Guide to Dumb Birds Sticker Book to create the perfect present for full-on bird experts and amateur birders alike.

Perfect for:
  • Birdwatching and nature enthusiasts
  • People who think birds are creepy or annoying (and people who love birds but also enjoy a good laugh)
  • Anyone looking for the ultimate coffee table book or bar-top conversation starter
  • Gift givers seeking a fun, quirky gift for their favorite bird enthusiast or animal lover
Professional birding amateur and national bestselling author Matt Kracht has had it with these goddamn birds. His new book is a warning, a field guide to help you identify and stay away from the...

Available Editions

EDITION Paperback
ISBN 9781797232751
PRICE $15.95 (USD)
PAGES 200

Available on NetGalley

Download (PDF)

Average rating from 13 members


Featured Reviews

I have Kracht's first two bird guides and was very excited to see that a third one is in the works. His scientific research and work on the BUMMR scale is absolutely invaluable to anyone who encounters birds (this is everyone -- you cannot birds).

Fans of his earlier books will enjoy the continued humor here. And you might even learn real facts about bird feet!

I look forward to purchasing a physical copy when this hits shelves!

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As you'd imagine from Matt Kracht, it's another book about how much he hates birds. I do agree that some of the worst birds are in there, including the mockingbird (which has sang directly outside my bedroom window until midnight on some nights) and the Canadian goose (if you know you know). The illustrations are good, the humor is there - it's a fun field-guide type read!

Thanks to NetGalley and Chronicle Books for the advanced reader copy for review!

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I can very honestly say i have never been more pleased with a book i downloaded on a whim at like 1130 pm. I love birds but I also very strongly believe that they have to be some of the dumbest creatures on this green earth. I recently got into bird watching over the winter when my husband showed up at the house with a bird feeder and told me to go find the binoculars and put them by the back window so we can look at the birds that come to the feeder, and even bought a few other field guides for bird watching; but this will absolutely be my favorite and plan on buying the physical book when it comes out. The artwork is gorgeous, the annotations are relevant and informative, but also funny. Im so glad that I downloaded this book!

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This is a hilarious satire of a bird book. It would make a great gift for anyone who does want to learn a thing or two about the birds that annoy them in their backyards. I don't mean the person with a casual interest that thinks birds are pretty to watch. I mean the person that says that they're going to get their paint ball gun out to shot that dang pileated woodpecker that's putting holes in the siding. They know what they're talking about but are also wanting to gripe about it too.

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Crude. Hilarious. And yet still somehow informative?
For professional birders, casual birders, and even those people that have seen a bird that one time.
Great for a gift.

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A Dumb Birds Field Guide to the Worst Birds Ever is a fantastic addition to a delightful series that imparts fascinating information in the funniest way possible. Beautiful illustrations and informative and interesting information sit alongside dirty words and the honest truth about just how bizarre (and occasionally annoying) these amazing creatures can be. I laughed out loud and learned a lot!

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This was such a fun concept for a bird book, I actually learned a bit about different birds and it had that humor that I was looking for. Matt Kracht wrote this well and I enjoyed the art in this book. It had everything that I hoped and enjoyed reading this.

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This book was exactly what I expected to read when I picked up a book written by professional birding amateur Matt Kracht. As with all of his other books and planners I found myself laughing and learning at the same time - well more laughing than learning but I did learn a lot about bird feet which I didn't expect. The addition of the BUMMR ratings was unique and entertaining.

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I love this book series, and I was very excited to see another one was coming out. As usual, I laughed my way through this book, but also learned a little. Thanks to Netgalley for the free copy in exchange for an honest review.

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