Influencing Death

You could say Penny Hawkins Smith is an expert in the art of dying, a hospice nurse by trade, she also talks about death on TikTok. In influencing death, she talks about how she ended up choosing that career, her own experiences with being way too close to death, and how treating her patients changed the way she looked at life and death.

I agree so much with the main point made in the book, in our societies (she’s in the US but it’s similar in my country) we don’t like to talk about death, we tend to use euphemisms and doctors don’t feel like they can be honest with their patients. How do you tell them that this is the end for them? That they have to get ready to permanently leave? Once you get into a hospice, it’s usually to live the rest of your life with the least pain possible. But the idea makes most people uncomfortable so we don’t really say the words.
I think that the more we talk about it, the better choices we may make when facing that situation. Especially for people who are really young and obviously not ready for that.

I also really liked the discussion on MAiD and choosing the way to end your life. I live in a country where palliative care is absolutely plagued by the overwhelming presence of very catholic people who really like to impose their beliefs on everyone ; so I’m not used to read about hospice workers being in favour of death with dignity measures. Friendly reminder (to the people who like to impose their beliefs) that we’re talking about people who are going to die short term. There’s no good reason to not let have some agency over that situation. There’s a lot of talk about that in the book too. Dying people are still people who should be able to make some choices.

So overall a really good read, I thought I knew everything there is to know about the topic but I was wrong. This was also written with so much compassion for the patients and their families, I really appreciated that.

deeply interesting, moving, and touching memoir from a person who deeply depicts her lows and highs, not shying away from her faults or overexaggerating her strenghts. it all felt very real. i especially loved the passage about eyes as the window to the soul earlier on in the book, that was the most interesting part to me. tysm for the arc. 5 stars.

Thank you to NetGalley for the free digital copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. As a hospice nurse, I am always drawn to new books that educate the public about what we do. I went into this read a little blind because based on the title, I thought it would be another good manual for families, patients, and caregivers. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was all of that in addition to a wonderful story about hospice staff and our experience caring for these patients and their families. The author skillfully blended a beautiful story about her experience in life as well as valuable education and information about hospice. This book would be great for anyone working in healthcare as well as the people we serve. Job well done to the author.

I’m not a huge nonfiction reader but when I saw that Hospice Nurse Penny wrote a book - I was all in.

Penny weaves together raw stories about her incautious past and stories about providing end-of-life care for near death patients and their families. It all really works well together and she presents it in a very balanced way. Throughout the story, Penny reminds the reader how a person’s death is truly one of the most important parts of their life. I learned this as I watched my own grandmother die, and she really reinforced that. Hospice as an organization and the people who give their careers to them make this paramount. People deserve to go out in the most dignified and comfortable way possible.

The Community Hospice in Upstate NY supported my father and my family for 18 months as he made the transition from life to death. He passed away in Sept. of last year and Hospice gave him what he wanted. To die at home with his family.

Penny also helps to break down some of the misconceptions about death and hospice - in both this book and on her social media feeds. She is what everyone really needs when people and their family are facing a death. Above all, I appreciate her education on morphine. I was scared as hell to start giving my dad morphine. Penny really tells it how it is. Morphine doesn’t kill patients on Hospice nor does it turn them into vegetables. It truly helps them. It provides comfort - and comfort is the greatest thing a dying person can receive. I witnessed this myself and I am grateful we had this, among other things in our toolbox.

Penny’s personal life leading to her career as a hospice nurse was really interesting. She faced struggles with bullying, substance abuse and crummy relationships like so many people do. She illustrates why she feels she isn’t an angel, yet reminds us that anyone can work hard to change, get on a better path and perhaps…. do angelic work.

Thank you Penny Hawkins Smith, Girl Friday and Netgalley for this advanced e-book.

This is one of the best books I have ever read. Penny holds nothing back about her life and experiences. I admire and respect her so much. I lost my husband to cancer 3 years ago and he only had one visit from hospice before he passed. However, those that choose this field truly make a difference in everyone's life - whether short or long. Penny is honest, funny, compassionate and opinionated and I adore her. Everyone needs to read this book no matter what stage of your life you are in. Thanks to NetGalley, author and publisher for the honor of reading this advanced copy in exchange for my honest opinion