“Becoming the Pastor’s Wife is a necessary and informative read. Beth Allison Barr presents the ways women have led and ministered in churches, often if not always, putting their husband's needs and ministry first. Raised by a pastor's wife and being a pastor's wife myself, her work really hit home. She provides a positive argument for a paradigm shift for pastor's wives and any woman who feels called to minister. Thanks to NetGalley and publisher for the ARC. Pub Date: March 18, 2025.

#BecomingthePastorsWife

The first time I encountered author Beth Allison Barr, Dr. Barr, was not long before the world was introduced to "The Making of Biblical Womanhood," Barr's 2021 Brazos Press release that would shed light on and call out Christian patriarchy in a way that shook up evangelical circles and helped many, especially women, put words to long repressed faith experiences. In many ways, Dr. Barr took what many of us had simply accepted about our churches and proclaimed "This is not biblical."

And she backed it up.

I'd gotten to know Dr. Barr ever so briefly through social media, her social media presence resonated with me - a profoundly intelligent woman with an aura of traditional southern charm and a willingness to make cookies for her students and support her Baptist pastor husband all while deliberately yet respectfully tapping on the glass house known as the Southern Baptist Convention.

Truthfully, I couldn't help but like her and I absolutely learned from her even as I processed through my own challenging seminary experiences and struggles as a white male with significant disabilities trying, and often failing, to live into the ministry into which I've never had any doubt I was called.

But, it's hard to serve in ministry when people passionately believe, and often tell you, that your disability resulted from your own sin and/or the sin of your parents.

Sigh.

I worried about Dr. Barr, I can't deny it. In the days leading up to her book's release, I found myself wondering "Does she realize what she's gotten herself into?" It's a question it appears she even asked herself I discovered as I read through the pages of her latest release "Becoming the Pastor's Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as a Woman's Path to Ministry."

"The Making of Biblical Womanhood" was one of my favorite books in 2021-2022 and there's no doubt that "Becoming the Pastor's Wife" will be one of my favorite books of 2025.

Over the course of her journey with "The Making of Biblical Womanhood," I watched Dr. Barr with more than a little awe as she batted away the critics and powerfully, yet always respectfully, pointed the way toward a better way forward.

"Becoming the Pastor's Wife" weaves together a tapestry of rich humanity and academic expertise to trace the history of the role of the pastor's wife. It's a role Dr. Barr herself has had for twenty-five years during which she's lived with the assumptions about what she should do and who she should be even as she grew into her current role as James Vardaman Endowed Professor of History at Waco, Texas's Baylor University where she specializes in medieval history, women's history, and church history. This time around, I'd dare say that Dr. Barr writes with a self-assuredness that is an absolute delight in its confidence and wisdom as she draws upon her own experiences and that expertise to trace the history of the role of the pastor's wife. Dr. Barr brings forth how this important leadership role came at a cost - losing independent leadership opportunities that, as she documents powerfully, existed throughout most of church history and reinforced a growing gender hierarchy that prioritized the careers of men (especially spouses since churches nearly always prefer married men over single men). "Becoming the Pastor's Wife" examines this journey, drawing an undeniable connection between a decline in female ordination and the role of this "pastor's wife" in the evangelical church - the latter often being a submissive, supportive, and unpaid role always deferring to the male headship (Ugh. That was gross to even write.). Dr. Barr powerfully illustrates this journey through historical narratives, personal testimony, and past and present figures to help all of us, myself included, better understand the historical reality of ordained women.

If you know me, you already know that I am strongly in the Dr. Barr camp and have regularly sought out underrepresented pastors including women. I do what I can to support their ministries - whether it's attending services, reading books, going to workshops, or simply being sure that I use titles (Rev. or Dr. for example) rather than overly familiar language often based in gender stereotypes (like simply using a first name).

In "Becoming the Pastor's Wife," Dr. Barr is relentless in her passion and dedication to truth. Dr. Barr's work here is precise, absolutely clear, almost jarringly unflinching, and yet also filled with compassionate wisdom, uncommon pastoral care, and a soothing of the spiritual soul including an acute awareness of those looking for another way forward.

"Becoming the Pastor's Wife" challenged my own beliefs, assumptions, and knowledge while offering me the tools to understand and the grace to learn and grow. It will offer the same for you in a myriad of ways. Destined to be one of my favorite books for 2025, "Becoming the Pastor's Wife" captures both the historical realities and the infinite possibilities of how we can all live into a more Christ-centered church that insists on a new reality for women in ministry.

Fantastic in-depth look at the rise of the modern pastors wife and the very recent fall of women in church leadership/pastor. I appreciate the details on the historical presence of women within church leadership. Much of it I was unfamiliar with. Very well researched and laid out in a way that is easy to understand but also makes the reader think. The evidence and documentation are outstanding. The author covered a variety of angles, perspectives, and stories of women.

This is a book I will be reading again. I also want to go back and dig into the extensive bibliography. Very important topic. Shocking to see that the changes that took place so recently.

I received a digital copy from NetGalley. I was in no way required to give a positive review. All thoughts are my own.

A helpful and clarifying overview of the development of the modern day "pastor wife" role, and an exploration of the issues underneath that development.

(I received a free digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review)

An excellent book on the history of women in the role of clergy throughout history, and how the SBC has changed to no longer allow women as pastors. A dark story and well researched. I have recommended it to others already and have pre-ordered for my personal collection.

4.5 stars

I didn’t know exactly what to expect from this one - I have never been a pastor’s wife myself (we do call my husband “a good pastor’s wife” even though he can’t play piano). But I loved The Making of Biblical Womanhood so of course I needed to read this one! The case she built blew me away. She builds a personal and historical critique of the (unpaid and unappreciated) role that pastor’s wives have grown to play in church life, and shows how the patriarchal church has historically used that role to systemically deny women power. Similar to her previous work, she challenges a lot of assumptions about how women operated in the church throughout history and challenges us to read what the Bible actually says about women’s roles. I loved reading about ordination of women in medieval times and what it looks like for women to serve in ministry leadership without being dependent on men. My heart broke for the ways many of the women were treated and systemically denied a voice as well as justice in the evangelical church. Even if you aren’t a pastor’s wife, this has a lot to say about expectations for women and the pressures women face in the church. A great read.

I grew up in American evangelical churches that were run entirely by men. I was taught that the application of certain verses (and the de-centering of other verses) made a clear case that men and women were equal, sure, but that men were supposed to run the church. Women could teach children and provide the behind-the-scenes support that made everything else possible, usually in volunteer positions. Within this, the pastor's wife occupied a special role. Single men in leadership were frowned upon, but it was acknowledged that in calling a couple to leadership, the church got two for the price of one. In many churches, the pastor's wife played the piano for worship, led the Sunday School, organized the potlucks, and more, all while keeping a spotless home on a miserly salary and raising cheerful and neatly-combed children who behaved in the church. I knew one thing for sure--I never wanted to marry a pastor. (Spoiler: and I didn't!)
My experience was common, and still is in a lot of circles. But it wasn't always like this. Beth Allison Barr, a historian at Baylor University (you may know her from her previous best-seller, "The Making of Biblical Womanhood", highly recommended) was for 25 years herself a pastor's wife. As she looked into the history of men's and women's roles in the church, she came to surprising conclusions. First of all, evidence shows that the early church did not segregate roles on gender lines as is often assumed. Secondly, neither did the early medieval church. Moreover, the specific role of pastor's wife (found nowhere in Scripture) is a fairly recent development. How and why?
Barr examines modern history, noting that as the role of pastor's wife was elevated, it was accompanied by the deep loss of independent ministry opportunities and careers for Christian women. She takes a hard look at some of the other unfortunate results, women not able to seek redress from harm, or male pastors immune from accusations of abuse. Throughout it all, she tells stories that illustrate the points she is making from history.
Becoming the Pastor's Wife is an excellent book. Barr's writing style is warm and approachable while still maintaining high academic standards and showing her sources. Her personal experience and the stories she's telling only strengthen her argument. This is a ground-breaking book. Highly recommended.

A hard but ultimately hopeful read, Barr pulls together vast amounts of historical material drawn from the history of the church to ultimately show how the conversation about women in ministry has not really ever been about women in ministry, but instead about the protection of power and wealth. In showing how religious authorities used labels like "exceptional" to discuss the very real roles of women in the church in the premodern period, Barr shows how labels can be used to minimize the scriptural and historical record of women's work in the church. In showing how in each time period, fears about loss of power and influence led to shifting rationales for church governance and frameworks for ordination, Barr compellingly shows that there is no "clear and obvious" case against women in ministry. A powerful, challenging, and ultimately hopeful book that seeks to offer better paths forward for the church.

In Becoming the Pastor's Wife, Beth Allison Barr provides a thoughtful look at the uniqueness of this official/unofficial ministry role and how it has developed over the years. With her background in medieval history and her experiences as a pastor's wife, Ms. Barr is uniquely positioned to address this topic. I especially appreciated being introduced to women in ancient history who fulfilled pastoral roles on an equal footing with their male counterparts. I, like Ms. Barr, was raised with and have subscribed to the complementarian view of women in ministry, and I appreciated that the author examined that view in a fair and non-combative way while making her case that complementarianism is a relatively new interpretation of Scripture. I am grateful to Publishers Weekly for providing me with an advanced reader copy of this book which has provided me with a window into the world my pastor's wife inhabits and has inspired me to dig deeper into the subject of how women minister in the Christian church.

This book explores the evolution of women’s roles in ministry. Using historical data and biblical references, the author makes a compelling case for Christians to reconsider the expectations placed on pastors’ wives and the pathway to ministry for women. I appreciate the author’s willingness to challenge traditional beliefs and practices within American Christianity

“Becoming the Pastor’s Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as a Woman's Path to Ministry” follows in the path of Beth Allison Barr’s previous book, “The Making of Biblical Womanhood” to trace the roles of women in the church throughout history to provide greater understanding of how our church became what it is. The early church history in this book is both illuminating and encouraging, and it shows in many ways how women were honored as leaders in the church.

The 19th-21st century history is where thing get dark as it shows a deliberate devaluing of women’s roles in the church. Instead of women being called to lead in the church, they were now told that they were called to be a pastor’s wife. Which is curious because the role of pastor is not in the bible, any more than the role of pastor’s wife is in the bible. Complementarians have elevated this role to a higher calling in order to show they value women. But what if the pastor’s wife has a job? What if the pastor’s wife doesn’t feel called to do what the church is assuming is now her unpaid job? There’s also excerpts from books about being a pastor’s wife that shows the unreal expectations put on them. All for a job that isn’t theirs.

This doesn’t just hurt women, it also hurts men. The church is relying on the invisible and unpaid labor of the pastor’s wife when they hire a pastor. A male pastor can lose out on jobs if his wife doesn’t also interview well for the position they are both being hired for, but only one is being paid for. And men who are single are less likely to be chosen. Unsurprisingly, in denominations that ordain women, the pastor’s husband is not held to the same standards that a pastor’s wife is.

Dr. Barr brings her own voice as a pastor’s wife to add a personal voice to the history, and she has uncovered new stories of women through the archives of the Southern Baptist Convention. Dr. Barr always writes with hope. The hope that women will see the history of the church and know that what they thought was biblical was actually constructed by our culture. The hope that once women see the truth, they will demand change. I pray that hope will become a reality.

Thoroughly and thoughtfully researched, Becoming the Pastor's Wife is an important book for the church to consider. I'm grateful for Dr. Barr's voice and wisdom, and I hope the church can change to be more open and welcoming to women called to ministry. I definitely had moments of frustration as I read, but overall it is a hopeful message of how it HASN'T always been this way and history holds stories of women who can testify to that. Thanks to NetGalley for providing a pre-release copy for review.

Ever since Beth Allison Barr announced she had begun to write Becoming the Pastor's Wife, I knew it would peel back the layers to expose secrets behind the closed doors of church ministry that so many worked hard to keep hidden. But this book was so much more!

Tracing the history of females in ministry since the time of Christ, Barr is masterful at revealing how women have always been respected as leaders in the church. She pinpoints times in history where changes took place, and brings it all to the present day.

My husband was a pastor for more than a dozen years, and I grew up as a pastor's daughter. Most of my life has been spent in ministry in one form or another. Becoming the Pastor's Wife really resonated with me. I was, as the book clearly states, an unpaid "universal spare part" for the church my husband pastored.

This book needs to get into the hands of every pastor's wife, every female pastor, and every woman in ministry. Then it needs to go farther! It needs to go to the men. It needs to go to the seminaries, the Bible colleges. It needs to go to the congregations!

Please. Read this book. Let it open your eyes to what has happened, not just in history but especially in the last 40 years. Then share it!

Becoming the Pastor's Wife" by Dr. Beth Allison Barr
5⭐️/5⭐️

What a tremendous gift Dr. Barr has given us in writing "Becoming the Pastor's Wife." This is a must-read for any believer who wants to understand the history behind the SBC's restrictions on the ordination of women. How and why did the SBC end up here? And can the SBC change for the better?

As a historian, Dr. Barr first takes us to the first-century church. The reader is confronted by how women have been forgotten or re-imagined in modern, white American evangelicalism.

Dr. Barr writes, "I think we have worked so hard to promote biblical women as we imagine them to be that we have forgotten how to see biblical women as they are."

"We have taken a position never mentioned directly in Scripture and turned it into the highest ministry calling for contemporary evangelical women, allowing it to supplant other ministry roles."

Then, Dr. Barr takes us on a journey through medieval history to the modern day, exploring how women's ordination changed and the development of the role of the pastor's wife in white, American evangelicalism and the SBC.

The pastor's wife isn't a role based on spiritual gifting or calling, or leadership. Instead, it is a role in response to capitalism, focused on upholding patriarchy and the subjugation of women. Dr. Barr writes, ". . . the modern conservative movement that glorifies housework, childcare, and family management was born of the growing international trade and consumption of domestic goods in early modern Europe."

"Becoming the Pastor's Wife" explores how the emphasis on the role of the pastor's wife in the SBC "cost" women the freedom to independently preach and minister according to their spiritual gifting and calling. But the costs extend far beyond preaching, teaching, and ministry.

"For more than five decades, conservative evangelical theology has been teaching an increasingly restrictive gender hierarchy that privileges male power and authority while subordinating and marginalizing women. The sex abuse scandals that are currently plaguing the SBC are not anomalous; rather, they are the product of a systemic culture teaching that women are worth less than men. Such a culture teaches men it is okay to 'forgive and forget' when a man admits to causing harm to a woman and her family..."

Dr. Barr ends with a sprinkling of hope: "History shows me how women like me became the pastor's wife. History shows me how the pastor's wife role has been used to push women out of ordained ministry. But history also shows me that it doesn't have to be this way. History has taught me that women, including the wives of pastors, can change the church."

I strongly recommend this book. Everyone needs to read this

This is two books in one. As a pastor's wife herself, the author gives her readers quite a "vent" as to the often unreasonable expectations that go along with being married to a member of the clergy, particularly among the more conservative denominations. I wonder if her comments would even be applicable to the more progressive denominations, where clergy wives are able to keep their distance from parish ministry (not to mention clergy husbands). I found much of this material repetitive, and I really wish the author had found something positive to say about her experiences as a clergy wife.

Interwoven with these personal experiences, the author also provided quite a good history of women in ministry over the course of Christianity. These parts of the book were excellent and would have made a great stand-alone book. I appreciated the history of concubines in the Roman Catholic Church and the transition women made during and after the Reformation.

Overall, the author's bitterness over her own experiences seemed to give the book as a whole a rather negative vibe. Nevertheless, I recommend it as a contribution to women's history in the Church.

From my own experience of being a part of a pastor’s family, I can relate to and appreciate Barr sharing her perspective and desire for change. This was a well researched and well written book that I hope can challenge the church’s posture towards pastor’s wives. Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book.

This book is a stunning exploration of where the voices of women in church history have been overlooked, quieted, and told to keep sweet.

Insights on My lens for Reading:

I am an Ordained pastor, so my bias is towards women as eligible for all levels of church ministry and function.
I am also a pastor’s wife and I am very familiar with the “when are you expecting your next” conversations.
I have even had well-meaning parishioners pat my stomach and tell me they were praying God would bless us abundantly.
I am a mother to ONE child. He is wild, carefree, and he loves his faith experience.
I am also a daughter to parents who are both pastors as second career callings, and love seeing my parents adjust to ministry together as empty-nesters.
Lastly, I am a doctoral student at McMaster’s. I deeply value education and history.

The Value of This Book:
Beth Allison Barr does a masterful job of unpacking church history in a way that is both approachable and story driven. Through the lens of women’s lives as abbesses, pastors, spouses, and victims of abuse, she explores the nature of women’s involvement in church life. She also shares her own vulnerable experiences as a pastor’s wife.

I found myself in the moment of so many stories - from the days we lived on College St. near the Italian community referenced, to the horror stories of pastor’s wife classes, to the abbey’s of the early centuries of church life. This book immersed me as a reader so much that I finished it in a day (while also running errands and pastoring).

For many of us, there are unwritten expectations that we hold in our understanding of pastoral ministry - especially as it relates to women. As a woman in The Wesleyan Church (an egalitarian denomination that affirms women in ministry), even my own experience has been affected deeply by practices that are so deeply entrenched that we believe them to be Scriptural.

This book forces us to ask, are my expectations in line with God’s word?

This book does not explore Scripture in depth to argue for the inclusion of women in ministry roles, but instead chooses to track the involvement and inclusion of women in church through the centuries. It also tracks the movements that established men as solely qualified for ministerial work - with some denominations only beginning the exclusion of women from service in 1984.

Ideally, this book is suited for individuals who are in any (or all) of the following categories of readers:
Individuals who enjoy learning from the stories of other people
Individuals seeking to better understand church history as it relates to women’s involvement in ministry
Individuals who have experienced life as a pastoral spouse - men or women - this book offers a moment to reflect and heal.
Individuals who are looking to read a narrative ethnography/auto-ethnography exploring the emergence of ‘pastoral spouse ministry’ as a deeply entrenched habitus within many denominations

If those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it, the good news is that women will be in the pulpits of many churches again very soon.

Available on 3/18, thanks to Brazos Press for an advanced copy through NetGalley.

As a Medieval History professor, Beth Allison Barr brings context to issues around women’s roles in the church. In this follow up to the fantastic The Making of Biblical Womanhood she shares her experiences as an SBC pastors wife, including when her husband lost his job for pushing to bring a female co-teacher for their youth ministry.

As someone who spent my entire adult life as a woman in ministry and for the past two decades was also a pastors wife, all within complementarian (male headship) churches, this hit very close to home and I’m still processing. It’s pretty southern Baptist focused (understandably), and slightly repetitive.

It made me angry, hopeful that it doesn’t have to be this way, and very very thankful for a life and ministry that is not currently dependent on my (sweet, wonderful) husband or his role at our church.

Becoming the Pastor's Wife is another wonderfully written book by historian Beth Allison Barr. After reading her book, The Making of Biblical Womanhood, I did not think anything could surpass the content of that book. However, Dr. Barr presented us with an in-depth analysis of the history of women in leadership, as well as how this correlate to women in the church today. During the 19th-21st century history, we find that this is really when women's roles in the church get devalued and compromised. During this era, we see how women are being relegated to inferior roles, such as just assisting their "pastor" spouse or volunteering in typical complementarian roles designated for women in the church. Dr. Barr does a great deal of research showing how complementarians have elevated the role of a "pastor" to include only men, even though historically Jesus is shown elevating women into various roles in his own ministry. The duty of a "pastor's wife" is somewhat assumed by what the church has defined as her "role", but what if the pastor’s wife has a job outside of the church? Also, if one desires to be a pastor, what rules are listed that state the spouse is designed to be his unpaid assistant or helper within that role?

Becoming the Pastor's Wife had a lot of eye-opening information in it, showing the depth of research that was done to create a thorough understanding of the historical context of this "role" within the church. The research is explained in a very easy to read manner, with comprehensible understanding of the backgrounds and key figures who have promoted this view of being in a role as a "pastor's wife". Dr. Barr did an amazing job-sharing many facts, details, and evidence supporting her research.

I highly recommend this book, as it is not only engaging, but will give you much insight into various ideologies and views regarding women in the church, both historically and in society today. Thank you to Brazos Press and NetGalley for the Advanced Review copy. All opinions are my own.

Dr. Beth Allison Barr’s new book, Becoming the Pastor’s Wife, is engaging and eye-opening. Her own experience as a pastor’s wife, her knowledge of scripture, and her extensive historical research combine to offer a powerful message about the way in which women have been allowed to answer God’s call to ministry since the early house churches. As Dr. Barr discusses in chapter 4
"To be sure, the pastor’s wife role is a Protestant development – nothing like it really existed before – and the peculiar version of the pastor’s wife role in modern evangelicalism is a mid-twentieth-century creation. Yet when medieval church leaders began requiring celibacy for priests, they ended up writing women out of sacramental power . . . and creating the building blocks that would one day be repurposed into an argumentative edifice that insists women’s leadership always belongs under male authority."

When I was in university, I wanted to become a pastor's wife. I loved taking theology classes and leading Bible and book studies, and the best way to continue that- in my church context- was to marry a pastor. At the time, I didn't see the problem with that. Thankfully, Beth Allison Barr does.

In this book, Barr discusses the role of women in the early Christian church and in the medieval church to argue against the premise that women have never held ministry roles within the church (Chapters 1-4). She then looks at the modern evangelical church: the expectations for pastor's wives and how women's leadership roles in the evangelical American church have been relegated to unordained, unpaid positions. She often focuses on the Southern Baptist Convention, since it is the most influential organization within the American evangelical movement. There is also some discussion on how the role of pastor's wife differs between white and Black evangelical churches.

Barr doesn't come at this topic from a purely academic perspective. As of the writing of this book, she has been a pastor's wife for 25 years, and her lived experience helps illustrate many of her points. During one of her husband's interviews, she had to "stand on the stage and introduce herself to the male deacons... assuring them that writing a dissertation would not hinder her ministry". She has "loved being a pastor's wife", but she understands how the role of a pastor's wife limits women's opportunities for independence.

I debated whether to give this book a three- or four-star rating. The book was thoroughly researched and Barr's personal stories added a lot to it. The chapters on church history were overviews. She clearly showed that women were ministry leaders in the past, but I would have liked more depth. I recognize, however, that making those sections longer would have bogged down some readers, and Barr has already written a book on the history of women in the church (The Making of Biblical Womanhood: How the Subjugation of Women Became Gospel Truth). The chapters on modern church history felt a little repetitive and wandering. I appreciated all of her points- and I'm sure that they'll validate many women's experiences- but at times I struggled to keep going.

I would recommend this book to women who wonder if there is a different path to ministry than being a pastor's wife. I would also recommend this book to pastor's wives who feel like the role they have "married into" isn't right for them. I think the people who would benefit the most from this book are complementarian church leaders, particularly elders and deacons, who determine which roles women can fill (and be paid for) within their church. Unfortunately, I don't think staunch complementarians will read it.

My family recently changed churches. The priest's wife was the one to greet us and follow up with us, telling us about different ministries and inviting us to church events. I was pleased to learn that she is on staff at the church in her own right, and not just fulfilling the unwritten expectations of a pastor's wife.

Thanks to Baker Publishing Group for providing me an advance copy of this book through Netgalley. All opinions are my own.

Very well written book. Dr Barr uses her background in medieval history to help the reader understand that the pastor's wife role of today has not always existed and is not Biblical. I am glad I found her first book and have thoroughly enjoyed reading this one as well.

Baker Academic eARC
Barr is an author that I love to learn about church history from, and this book was fascinating. I am in a phase of examining my beliefs, and I liked the deep look here into a very specific part of the church - pastor's wives. This book was informative and also compelling. I had no idea about how women were slowly pushed out of the pulpit, and in the SBC specifically. This book gave me a lot to think about, and I am grateful for the books she writes that encourages women in the church.

I can’t remember the last time a book made me want to set something on fire.

I can understand (though not condone) the adherence to an ancient idea because: Tradition.

<<insert singing/dancing Jewish Patriarch>>

But the systematic, ON FUCKING PURPOSE way women’s spiritual authority was stripped away makes me feel more than a little stabby.

Y’all count your blessings I’m a Proverbs 31 woman and not a Judges 4 woman.

BAB is, as per usual, stunning in her research, writing, and call for repentance.

Will people listen? Or are they too preoccupied covering up church sex abuse scandals?

Becoming the Pastor’s Wife by Beth Allison Barr, lives up to its subtitle: "how marriage replaced ordination as a woman’s path to ministry." The book takes readers along a timeline through eras of the first century (New Testament), medieval, Reformation, and contemporary times. The quest is to answer the question of women’s leadership roles in the church - whether it comes from an inner calling by God or from marriage to a male church leader. It reads like an intriguing who-done-it and historical documentary all rolled up together.

Follow the work of Barr and her companion researchers as they sift through the archives of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) to answer the question. Perhaps not as dramatic as The DaVinci Code or the National Treasure movies, the reader discovers key dates, turning points, and the stories over the centuries that brought the evangelical world to its present state concerning the role of women in leadership. The stories from the archives for the SBC matter to all evangelicals since all are influenced by each other’s work. We sing each other's songs. We read each other's books. We are swayed by each other’s initiatives, teachings, and practices. Barr presents a compelling argument for a return to a biblical practice of women in leadership proceeding from giftedness and calling by God rather than through marriage to a male pastor.
Becoming the Pastor’s Wife is a significant and encouraging contribution to bringing the evangelical world in line with biblical practice.

Barr gives us a little history, but mostly concentrates on the SBC. I felt like that was her goal, which is fine, but I was left wondering about Lutherans and Methodists. Still, it was interesting to connect the dots from early church leaders to leading only through a pastor husband, at least in the SBC. I hope enough SBC members read the book and make some changes.

A worthy sequel to The Making of Biblical Womanhood, this book will be freeing for so many people. A must-read for anyone in ministry and beyond.

intriguing storytelling and meticulously researched

Becoming the Pastor’s Wife contains fascinating historical research and biblical history that unveils how the roles of women in ministry have shifted.
Assuming this information does not apply to you or is boring to read would be a mistake.
The Church is in desperate need of the truths laid out on these pages.

In Becoming the Pastor’s Wife, historian Beth Allison Barr delivers a powerful critique of the role long assigned to pastors' wives—a position that, while often celebrated in theory, has functioned as a means of binding women to unpaid labor and excluding them from true leadership in the church. Building on her work in The Making of Biblical Womanhood, Barr traces how this role has evolved over time, arguing that it has consistently served to reinforce patriarchal structures within Christian communities.

Barr exposes the unrealistic expectations placed on pastors' wives: offering emotional support, organizing church life, and often functioning as unofficial staff—all without formal authority or compensation. While they are central to the life of many churches, they remain locked out of the “real” work of ministry, reserved for men in the boys’ club of church leadership.

Blending historical research with personal stories, Barr demonstrates how this role has perpetuated gender inequality and calls for a reimagining of women’s place in ministry. Becoming the Pastor’s Wife is a timely and necessary book that challenges the church to recognize and value women’s leadership in its own right, rather than as an unpaid extension of their husbands’ ministries.

Becoming the Pastor's Wife is a compelling account of the factors that have contributed to the diminishing of women's autonomy and leadership authority in the church. The history is thoroughly researched and comes alive with stories from "real life". Some of those stories are incredibly painful to hear, especially in light of the current political environment in the U.S., in which there is an attempt to limit women's influence even more. The book is very well-written and brings to light factual evidence of women's contributions and leadership throughout church history. It strongly contradicts statements by people like Al Mohler who claim that women have not held significant leadership roles in the 2000-year history of Christianity. An important work contributing to the long-hidden history of the role of women in advancing the cause of Christ. It should be noted that this is an important read for anyone in Christian ministry or interested in women's role in the Church. It goes far beyond the realm of the pastor's wife experience, although certainly, that is an audience that needs to hear this message!

I found the book fascinating. The author obviously did a lot of research and was able to pull together stories of women from over the ages: queens, saints, and abbesses from history and missionaries and pastor's wives from more modern times. She interwove their stories to highlight both similarities and stark contrasts.

The comparison of two pastors' wives in chapter 8 was especially eye opening. One wife who apparently had a good and kind husband rose to prominence and used her platform to advocate for wives to submit to their husbands and for women to not be ordained. The other wife, who had a cruel and abusive husband, had no platform to advocate for herself or her children (partly as a result of this view of women). "The greatest difference between Maria Acacia and Joyce Rogers stemmed from their greatest similarity: they were pastors’ wives in a culture that privileged male authority and increasingly emphasized female submission. But the way they experienced that culture was different."

As I reflect back, I think one of the greatest strengths of the book could also be its greatest weakness, and that is that it tends to be more descriptive that prescriptive. It tells a lot of stories of a lot of women. For many of the more modern women the stories say, "This is problematic, can't we do better?" And for many of the more medieval women the stories say, "It used to be different, and we can change."

This can be a strength. Stories are powerful, and letting the stories speak for themselves allows different traditions and denominations to take the critique and find their own solutions and ways to address it. While a lot of the examples were from the SBC, the author didn't offer much in the way of SBC specific application, which could allow her critique to reach a wider audience.

On the other hand, I sometimes found myself frustrated by a lack of straight-forward critique and possible applications. The author finds the current state of women in ministry, where many women are only allowed to minster because of their marital status as a pastor's wife, problematic for a number of reasons. But she doesn't seem to have a definite vision of the way forward. Again, this may allow for different congregations to find different ways forward, but I wonder if it will also make it easier for some congregations to make a few small changes in the name of broadening women's ministry, without actually addressing the core problem.

I also wish the author would have done more to address the women in the church today who are gifted and trained, but not married to a pastor. That was perhaps beyond the scope of the book, though.

Change is need. The church need to see and treat women differently. I hope many people will read this book and start working on change.

Wow! What a challenging book. Challenging my preconceived notions about what I knew about church history and the history of women in the church specifically. One of my favorite parts was the discussion of Abbess Milburga in the 7th century. I was totally unaware of "double monasteries" composed of both men and women. Milburga's ministry and shepherding of such a monastic house was eye opening! There are so many other fascinating stories in the book, and an excellent discussion of the ways church organization and the development of ordination, sacramentalism, and hierarchy in the 13-15th century church pushed out women leaders. Barr also traces the changing face of women in ministry through the Reformation until the present with a special emphasis on her own SBC and changes in the late 20th and early 21st centuries. Another area she explores that was almost unknown to me is the role of the pastor's wife in the black church. As a pastor's wife herself she has unique insight into the issues she discusses. This is an excellent introduction to discussions about the role of women in church leadership and how the role of pastor's wife has offered leadership opportunities to women but how that has come at the cost of their independent leadership.

It’s an interesting experience reading a history book about a period of time and a movement that you’ve been a part of. Such was my experience reading about pastors wives and women in ministry, particularly in the Southern Baptist Convention. For a decade I was an SBC pastor wife before the system chewed us up and spit us out and we left for my physical and mental health.

Barr’s writing is both accessible for everyday readers and deeply researched and cited for her academic audience. It weaves personal story and experience with historical sources in a way that kept me turning pages.

I voluntarily read a gifted copy of this book. All opinions are my own.

I love how Beth Allison Barr weaves her own experiences with historical context in considering the role of the pastor’s wife. In this follow up to The Making of Biblical Womanhood Dr. Barr does a wonderful job exploring women’s roles in the church and how the pastor’s wife role is not only unbiblical, but has been used to undermine women’s authority. A fascinating and accessible read for anyone who wants to learn more about the history of women working in the church

My husband and I are a clergy couple, each with a distinct and separate call to ministry. Although we have served different churches for most of my 28 years in ministry, I have often encountered the “two-for-one” mindset (see Chapter 5) and the lingering expectations placed on pastors' wives. Becoming the Pastor’s Wife sheds light on how, in many traditions, opportunities for women’s ordination were diminished and replaced by the role of the pastor’s wife.

Beth Allison Barr, a scholar well-versed in church history and women’s history, writes in an engaging and accessible way that brings these stories to life. She highlights the significant contributions of women leaders from the earliest days of the church to the present, with a particular focus on the Southern Baptist Convention. This book is a must-read for anyone seeking to understand the decline of women’s ordination in evangelical churches and the broader implications for women in ministry today.