Visions, Trips, and Crowded Rooms

Who and What You See Before You Die

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Pub Date May 01 2010 | Archive Date Sep 01 2012

Description

David Kessler, one of the most renowned experts on death and grief, takes on three uniquely shared experiences that challenge our ability to explain and fully understand the mystery of our final days. The first is "visions." As the dying lose sight of this world, some people appear to be looking into the world to come. The second shared experience is getting ready for a "trip." These trips may seem to us to be all about leaving, but for the dying, they may be about arriving. Finally, the third phenomenon is "crowded rooms." The dying often talk about seeing a room full of people, as they constantly repeat the word crowded. In truth, we never die alone. Just as loving hands greeted us when we were born, so will loving arms embrace us when we die.
In the tapestry of life and death, we may begin to see connections to the past that we missed in life. While death may look like a loss to the living, the last hours of a dying person may be filled not with emptiness, but rather with fullness. In this fascinating book, David brings us stunning stories from the bedsides of the dying that will educate, enlighten, and comfort us all.

David Kessler is one of the most well-known experts and lecturers on grief and loss. He co-authored two bestsellers with the legendary Elisabeth Kübler-Ross: On Grief and Grieving and Life Lessons. (David was honored to have been at Elisabeth's bedside during her passing.) His first book, The Needs of the Dying, a #1 best-selling hospice book, received praise by Mother Teresa. His services have been used by Elizabeth Taylor, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Marianne Williamson when their loved ones faced life-challenging illnesses. He also worked with late actors Anthony Perkins and Michael Landon. David's work has been featured on CNN, NBC, PBS, and Entertainment Tonight; and he has been interviewed on Oprah & Friends. He has been discussed in the New York Times; and has written for the Boston Globe, the Los Angeles Times, the San Francisco Chronicle,the Wall Street Journal, and Anderson Cooper 360°

David Kessler, one of the most renowned experts on death and grief, takes on three uniquely shared experiences that challenge our ability to explain and fully understand the mystery of our final...


Advance Praise

Praise for Visions, Trips, and Crowded Rooms

“David Kessler writes of a world that is rarely talked about, much less examined with such sensitivity. His stories reveal dimensions of the death experience that are anything but depressing, and at times absolutely joyful. In a book filled with intriguing and inspirational tales, Kessler makes a compelling argument that death is not the end.”
— Marianne Williamson, the New York Times best-selling author of The Age of Miracles

“I so remember David Kessler in the old days of The Hayride, a support group I started in West Hollywood. He and his work were so vital and so heartwarming to our group, who shared those frightening moments of crises in the early days of the AIDS epidemic. His very presence with those approaching death was like being enveloped in a safe, cozy space. No harm could come to you if David was around. In fact, I recently asked him to be there when it is my time to go. This book shares David’s wisdom and his love, and helps all of us who enter unknown waters.”
— Louise L. Hay, the New York Times best-selling author of You Can Heal Your Life

latimes.com Deathbed 'Visions, Trips, and Crowded Rooms' David Kessler, a protégé of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, details ghostly visitations and other phenomena. And he insists that healthcare professionals become better listeners.
By Carmela Ciuraru, Special to the Los Angeles Times -- June 29, 2010. The first thing required when reading "Visions, Trips, and Crowded Rooms" by the renowned thanatologist David Kessler is the suspension of skepticism. His book is about "the other side" — as in experiences in which the dying claim to achieve glimpses of an afterlife. One might readily dismiss such a book were it not for the author's credibility: He co-wrote two bestsellers with his mentor, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the pioneering psychiatrist in the field of death and dying.

Some deaths, of course, are more peaceful than others, but Kessler expresses hope that readers will "come away less afraid and with a deeper understanding about what happens in our final moments of life." His book offers personal stories — many of them deeply moving — from doctors, nurses, hospice and social workers, and others who have witnessed patients and family members experiencing deathbed phenomena.

Does it matter if these stories of the dying seeing and hearing from deceased loved ones are real or imagined? Kessler argues that they can't all be attributed to hallucinations, fever, a lack of oxygen to the brain or the effects of pain medication, yet he admits that providing evidence to the contrary is an impossible task. And these stories are far more common than people realize.

Whether such visions are "real" is beside the point — what matters is that all of these dying patients believed in what they had experienced, and found solace and relief in the midst of suffering. Many end-of-life narratives describe visitations by mothers (or maternal figures both familiar and unknown); others close to death were reassured that they'd be reunited with deceased spouses, parents or children.

It's hard to disagree with Kessler's insistence that healthcare professionals should strive to become better, more empathetic listeners to those in their last days and hours of life. He notes that a patient's reality should never be minimized or ignored — however "impossible or ridiculous" it seems. Being respectfully heard, he writes, is one of the greatest comforts a patient can be given.

Aside from sharing testimonies, Kessler explores the long history of deathbed phenomena in literature — such as from Shakespeare, Harriet Beecher Stowe and contemporary novelists such as Isabel Allende and Alice Sebold; and in films including "Ghost" and "Saving Private Ryan.

"It's not easy to come away from "Visions, Trips, and Crowded Rooms" with a definitive conclusion, but the questions it poses are intriguing. At one point in the book, Kessler recounts how a woman tried to tell a nurse about the remarkable deathbed phenomenon experienced by her terminally ill father, who was fading from cancer.

The nurse's response? She dismissed the woman's story and simply increased the patient's level of sedation.

Praise for Visions, Trips, and Crowded Rooms

“David Kessler writes of a world that is rarely talked about, much less examined with such sensitivity. His stories reveal dimensions of the death...



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