Because I Knew You

How Some Remarkable Sick Kids Healed a Doctor's Soul

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Pub Date Jun 03 2025 | Archive Date Not set
Mindbuck Media | Chehalem Press

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Description

As one of the few pediatric palliative care doctors in the United States, Bob Macauley was used to people saying, "I'm so glad I don't have your job." To which he would explain that palliative care is more about living than dying, then offer to share some of the inspiring stories he witnessed on a daily basis. He might mention that also being an Episcopal priest helped him console people in the hardest situations. But he never revealed the true reason for his career choice: he didn't want anyone else to hurt the way he had when he was a kid.

As one of the few pediatric palliative care doctors in the United States, Bob Macauley was used to people saying, "I'm so glad I don't have your job." To which he would explain that palliative care...


Advance Praise

“A profound and totally engrossing exploration of the painful yet beautiful world of children facing serious illness. To their remarkable courage Bob Macauley adds his own fascinating journey, not only as the doctor who cares for them but someone in need of healing, too. Pick up this book to be inspired, but rest assured that the human stories and life lessons will remain with you long after you put it down.” — Elisha Waldman, MD, author of This Narrow Space: A pediatric oncologist, his Jewish, Muslim, and Christian parents, and a hospital in Jerusalem

“With tenderness, grace, and hard-won insight, Dr. Macauley shares with us his painful yet life-celebrating journey with terminally ill children. Amid tragedy, he insists on each patient’s humanity, uncovering what they love, what they dream to be, discovering with them ways in which to fit their dreams into their brief yet abundant lives. The core of this mesmerizing and unexpectedly uplifting book is what these children teach him. Their courage, their insistence on life lived with joy, changes the good doctor who possesses a painful past, indeed heals the good doctor. Because I Knew You is an instant classic and a book especially suited to our times.” — Connie May Fowler, author of Before Women had Wings and A Million Fragile Bones

 “We must remember that behind all the data and electronic record that is driving medical care today, there is a patient, their family, and their provider, each with their own story. In this memoir of his evolution as doctor and human being, Dr. Macauley exquisitely relates the stories of captivating children who are living with serious illness and their courageous parents, and shows what the care experience can look like and become when a doctor accompanies them open-heartedly in their joy and suffering. Certainly, this is a must-read for anyone considering becoming a clinician; but really it is for anyone who seeks inspiration for what it means to be a loving witness to the struggles of others and how we can be transformed by such presence.”  — Blyth Lord, Executive Director, Courageous Parents Network

“By reminding us what really matters, and inspiring us to make a difference when we are most needed, Because I Knew You turns grief into courage and hardship into hope.” — Stephen P. Kiernan, author of Last Rights: Rescuing the end of life from the medical system and The Baker’s Secret

“A profound and totally engrossing exploration of the painful yet beautiful world of children facing serious illness. To their remarkable courage Bob Macauley adds his own fascinating journey, not...


Available Editions

EDITION Paperback
ISBN 9781594981517
PRICE $33.00 (USD)
PAGES 370

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Featured Reviews

This is an incredible book on many levels. Robert Macauley shares a unique point of view as a father who became a pediatric palliative care specialist, a clinical ethicist, and an Episcopalian priest. He depicts many moving situations with his patients and their families, as well as with his mentors and some professionals who opposed his views. While the subject matter is very intense and sometimes disturbing--how can it not when this book involves the deaths of children--the author never trivializes these experiences, and he gives them the reverence they deserve. He also bravely reveals his own traumatic background, but he doesn't make it the focus of the book. Instead, Macauley artfully weaves his early childhood trauma and how it shaped him throughout the work. The writing is outstanding and it makes for compelling reading. I was so glad I chose to read "Because I Knew You" for it has given me a little more empathy for the tragedies people suffer, and it reveals that sometimes miracles happen even during a heartbreaking time.

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