Say What You Really Mean

Most of us claim to value honesty and openness in communication, but we often settle for insincerity and ambiguity. We valiantly try to say what we mean, all the while using words, attitudes, and expressions that sabotage the real message. Results can be frustrating, or even devastating.

A recent workplace report claims that 25% of the business sector experience communication problems on the job. The actual percentage is probably much higher. Most large companies recruiting and hiring employees are looking for effective communication as one of the top three skills, in addition to being a team player and having job expertise. Knowing what to say, as well as how and when to say it, are critical factors in communicating about important issues. Finding the courage to give an honest response can give you a bad case of nerves or insomnia. Yet, keeping quiet or minimizing a message can be potentially problematic.

In romantic relationships, avoiding sensitive topics may seem like the right thing to do. But chances are women are lighting the fuse to a cache of fireworks that’s bound to explode sooner or later, ruining any chance of a truly meaningful relationship.

Frank and focused discussion can build positive interactions and mutually respectful relationships.

Say What you Mean! How Women Can Learn to Speak Up offers hope for improving personal and professional communication for those who struggle to find the right words:

Why being direct is respectful, not rude.How silence plays a key role when used appropriately.Knowing when to listen and when to speak up.Bridging gender differences.Using a message plan to get results.Saying “no” without causing friction.
This book has grown out of years of research, observation, and practice of effective communication in college teaching, and from consulting and training in the business world. The author’s articles and workshops have helped people learn how to become more articulate and enjoy satisfying relationships based on meaningful conversations. The book features:

Anecdotes and observations from real-life situationsStatistics on communication problems in personal and professional relationshipsCase histories from actual companies (names changed)Tips from employers, employees, parents, and spouses who rely on clear communication for occupational and relational needsInspirational quotes Self-quizzes

Debra Johanyak is Professor of English at The University of Akron Wayne College. She is a frequent writer and speaker on how women talk to people in their lives. She has published three previous books.

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