Chinese Parents Don't Say I Love You

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Pub Date Apr 29 2025 | Archive Date Apr 01 2025

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Description

A memoir about saying the unsayable with food, and how our eating lives can bring us together, and sometimes — keep us apart.

I have felt the pull of this extravagant wanting elsewhere ... A meal is a shape. It is a container into which we pour our cravings.

At 35, after the end of a 13-year relationship, food journalist Candice Chung finds herself not only losing a life partner, but her most reliable plus-one for anonymous restaurant review assignments. When her retired Cantonese parents offer to eat with her, these outings turn into a backdrop against which they learn surprising things about each other—including how, for the past decade, they managed to silently drift apart.

This era of undercover eating brings into question Chung's idea of love, solitude and the darkly humorous theatrics of restaurant rituals. What do we secretly yearn for when we pay someone to cook for us? Do we actually have a different public and private 'eating self'? Can the dinner table help us reveal ourselves to each other in a way that words—even the most carefully crafted questions—can't?

When a geographer enters her life in the pandemic, Chung is visited by ghosts from her past. Can she stay true to her longing for intimacy as well as solitude? Or will the unspoken hurt from her family's history show up unbidden in her intimate life?

Chinese Parents Don't Say I Love You is a memoir about how our eating lives can bring us together, and—sometimes—keep us apart.

A memoir about saying the unsayable with food, and how our eating lives can bring us together, and sometimes — keep us apart.

I have felt the pull of this extravagant wanting elsewhere ... A meal is a...


Advance Praise

'Every word of Candice Chung's memoir is brave. Even the title Chinese Parents Don't Say I Love You is a triumphant declaration that unshackles both the author and the reader from the cultural taboos that can leave one feeling unmoored. This is an evocative, vulnerable and relatable collection of stories that tenderly shows how food steps up to provide the emotional support, comfort, and safety that humans need, when words cannot.' - Hetty McKinnon

'A comforting hotpot of a book. Every page offers a new surprising morsel about connection and choice; always nourishing, always delightful, always tender.' - Benjamin Law

'Tender, elegant, and deeply moving. Chung's poetic prose blazes on the pages. What an incredibly beautiful memoir.' - Jessie Tu

'A delicious and moving treatise about love and longing, and all the ways families express or hide these life-sustaining things. Candice Chung, who has also been a food critic, writes with a poet's sensibility and a gourmand's sense of lusciousness. Her sentences sing off the page. I am enthralled by this book!' - Alice Pung

'I absolutely loved this book about all forms of love, and books and food and distance and travel. It was a real and delightful surprise, full of smart thought and deft words – and also very funny.' Ella Risbridger, author of The Year of Miracles: Recipes About Love + Grief + Growing Things

'A touching, poignant love story about so many great loves in Candice Chung's life - at times heartbreaking, complicated and bittersweet, but also, uplifting and full of tenderness. I loved her precise descriptions of food which were so vivid and flavoursome and yet never overwritten.' Huma Qureshi, author of Things We Do Not Tell the People We Love

'A wonderfully heart warming memoir from the bottom of the stomach. Candice Chung shows us how love and relationships can be influenced by food culture, and how our dinner tables have shaped the way we understand the world, as well as ourselves.' Xiaolu Guo, author of Radical and A Lover's Discourse

'Candice Chung's memoir is poetic, delicious and full of moments of grace and beauty.' Nikesh Shukla, author of Brown Baby

'Like a hilarious, heartfelt and incredibly perceptive conversation you have with a good friend over dinner -- the kind you think of many years after the plates and bowls get cleared -- Candice Chung's memoir stayed with me like the warmest of memories.' Lee Tran Lam, food writer and creator of the award-winning Should You Really Eat That? podcast.

'Every word of Candice Chung's memoir is brave. Even the title Chinese Parents Don't Say I Love You is a triumphant declaration that unshackles both the author and the reader from the cultural taboos...


Available Editions

EDITION Paperback
ISBN 9781761067631
PRICE A$34.99 (AUD)
PAGES 336

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