She's Not Herself
A psychotherapist's journey into and beyond her mother's mental illness
by Linda Appleman Shapiro
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Pub Date Sep 02 2014 | Archive Date Feb 11 2015
Description
On the surface, her childhood seemed normal—even idyllic. Linda grew up in the iconic immigrant community of Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, with her parents and a gifted older brother. But she spent her days at home alone with a mother who suffered major bouts of depression. At such times, young Linda was told, “Your mother…she’s not herself today.” Those words did little to help Linda understand what she was witnessing. Instead, she experienced the anxiety and hyper-vigilance that often take root when secrecy and shame surround a family member who is ill.
“She’s Not Herself” is a journey to make sense of the effects of multi-generational traumas. Shapiro is ultimately able to forgive (without forgetting) those who left her to fend for herself—and to provide readers with the wisdom of a seasoned psychotherapist who has examined human vulnerability in its many disguises and has moved through it all with dignity and hope. The result is a memoir of love, loss, loyalty, and healing.
Advance Praise
"A Story that applies to us all--truthful, carefully crafted, and created with a clear-eyed affection." David Watts, MD, poet, writer, musician, NPR commentator
"A revealing account of someone who grew up with a mentally ill parent and survived to become an effective, loving mother and a successful professional healer." The U.S. Review of Books
"Excellent writing that will help many, many others find the strength to overcome the struggles they are dealt." Madeline Sharples, Leaving the Hall Light On
"A riveting tale wrapped in elegant prose...full of hope and perseverance." Peggy Sanders, retired journalist, award-winning author
"A beautifully written memoir in the tradition of Eat Pray Love, Swallow The Ocean, Three Little Words, or Lucky Her Last Death." Rachel Fichter, editor-at-large
"For Shapiro's amazing recall and deep penetration into her past, this memoir reminds me of Remembrance of Things Past, and for its ease of readability, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn." P. Topping, linguist
"Inspiring and eloquent." Joseph Giordano, Ethnicity and Family Therapy
"A compelling tale of human tragedy and triumph told with empathy and love." Pamposh Dhar, founder of the Terataii Reiki and Counseling Centre, Singapore
"Not another 'woe is me' account of dysfunction, but rather a heroic account of mastery and grace." Roberta Temes, Learning How to Write a Memoir in Thirty Days
"An enlightening and ultimately therapeutic read." Randye Kaye, radio host
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Available Editions
| EDITION | Paperback |
| ISBN | 9780988439078 |
| PRICE | $14.00 (USD) |
Featured Reviews
Melissa L, Educator
I really enjoyed this memoir of a woman whose mother suffered from mental illness. She captured her younger years very well and I felt the fear and confusion she must have felt as well. The book also has some very touching moments, which showed me that Shapiro's mother really was doing the best she could, given her illness. I left with strong feelings of connections to Linda and her family.
In addition to dealing with the topic of mental illness, this book also does a nice job of sharing some of the experiences of Russian immigrants in the 1920-1940s. I enjoyed this aspect of the book and only wish there had been even more of this -- mostly because I find it is difficult to find accounts of this time period that are written as well as this memoir.
It was a quick read, and despite what could be a very heavy, depressing topic, I am left with feelings of hope. I would consider adopting this book if I am ever assigned to teach an Abnormal Psychology course -- I may even consider it for Fall 2015 in my Lifespan Psychology course.
Reviewer 204932
A brave and penetrating look at how a parent's mental illness affects a family. Told with great love and compassion, the author illuminates her mother's traumatic childhood, how that trauma set the course of her life, and how it cascaded into the next generation. The author shares with us her hopes, fears, triumphs, trials, friendships, and a glance inside the history and stigma associated with mental illness.
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