The Beauty of What Remains

Family Lost, Family Found

by Susan Hadler

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Pub Date Sep 15 2015 | Archive Date Sep 15 2015

Description

Where are they now, the lost, the forgotten? With the love in her mother’s silence as her guide, Susan Johnson Hadler began a quest to find out who the missing people in her family were and what happened to them. The search led her to Germany, where her father was killed just before the end of WWII; then to a Buddhist monastery in France, where she learned new ways to relate to life and death; and ultimately to a state mental hospital in Ohio, where the family abandoned her mother’s older sister years earlier. She believed that her aunt had died—but Hadler, to her great surprise, found her still alive at age ninety-four. And the story didn’t end there. Captivating and often heartwrenching, The Beauty of What Remains is a story of liberating a family from secrets, ghosts, and untold pain; of reuniting four generations shattered by shame and fear; and of finding the ineffable beauty in what remains.

Where are they now, the lost, the forgotten? With the love in her mother’s silence as her guide, Susan Johnson Hadler began a quest to find out who the missing people in her family were and what...

Advance Praise

“The Beauty of What Remains is a heartfelt memoir that often reads like a good mystery. Hadler shares the process of uncovering her family’s history, including how meditation supported her along the way. A wonderful book.”—Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness

"Hadler’s search for her father as an adult, a journey that took her to the last places on earth that he walked, serves as a prelude in this meditative memoir to her quest to discover what happened to her mother’s estranged sisters. What she discovers is a legacy of loss and mental illness, with repercussions for the generations that followed. Her years as a psychotherapist are evident in her measured, sympathetic treatment of the struggles faced by those in the family who used silence to cover tragedy. Both an exploration of loss and a celebration of discovering connections, The Beauty of What Remains is a moving account of one woman’s efforts to make her family whole."—Booklist

“If you don’t believe it’s possible to miss someone you never knew, Susan Johnson Hadler’s quest-based memoir will convince you otherwise. The Beauty of What Remains dovetails the search for her hero father who never came home from war with that of her mysterious aunts. In seeking them, she gradually finds herself, but will leave you pondering the secrets we keep.”—Megan Smolenyak, author of Who Do You Think You Are?

“I know of no other book that better accomplishes the seemingly impossible task of showing how to turn loss into gain, or of demonstrating how to create out of absence presence. Anyone who has experienced family deprivation needs to read this book, and it is so beautifully written that anybody else will want to.”—Jeffrey Paine, author of Father India and Re-enchantment: Tibetan Buddhism Comes to the West

“With courage and heart, Susan Hadler embarks upon a difficult journey to find the lost and forgotten members of her fragmented family. Along the way, she uncovers the family’s decades-old pain and sometimes shame–all with the hope of healing and reconciliation. Her story shows how loss, denial, and stigma can drain us. And also how forgiveness and compassion can restore us. Her unique blend of talents–equal parts writer, psychologist, and bloodhound hot on the trail–make for highly engaging and relatable reading. No one who reads this book will ever look at his or her own family history the same way again.”—David A. Lande, National Geographic senior researcher, author of I Was With Patton

Available Editions

EDITION	Other Format
ISBN	9781631520075
PRICE	$16.95 (USD)

Additional Information

Average rating from 4 members

Featured Reviews

Librarian 253116

Received an ARC from the publisher. This is a poignant memoir that is both heartwarming and heartbreaking. As the author searches for her missing family, her background as a psychotherapist gives credence to her insight regarding family and loss.

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Karen O, Reviewer

Susan Hadler, grew up with many secrets in her childhood. Her mother barely spoke about Ms Hadler's father who died in WWII and rarely mentions her two sisters who she was close as a child but not in contact with anymore. The Beauty of What Remains is the story of Ms Handler's brave search to find out who they were and why they were cut-off or missing from the family history. In this journey Ms Hadley learned about her mother's deep need to protect herself from feeling her own heartbreaking losses and inability to face the trauma she experienced when her husband died. Subsequently she became unable to cope with the complex dynamics between her and her sisters. Despite her mother's pain and anger about her daughter's search, Ms Hadley delicately and respectfully, unravels the missing pieces of her family history. The book is part history, part memoir and also part mystery as the clues to her aunt's whereabouts are uncovered and new bonds are forged between four generations of family. A riveting read and a reminder that when we look at our losses straight in the eye that we have the possibility of being more authentically connected to each other and ourselves.

Thank you to Netgalley for allowing me to review this book for an honest opinion.