Lesbian Love Addiction

Understanding the Urge to Merge and How to Heal When Things go Wrong

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Pub Date Nov 17 2015 | Archive Date Nov 27 2015
Rowman & Littlefield | Rowman & Littlefield (Academic)

Description

Everyone makes mistakes in relationships at one time or another. Sometimes they learn from those mistakes. Other times, they return to those behaviors and cycle through failed relationship after failed relationship. Sometimes those behaviors become an addiction to love that may leave a person feeling unhappy, unfulfilled, lonely, or worse. Lesbian Love Addiction: Understanding the Urge to Merge and How to Heal When Things go Wrong makes visible the elements of love addiction that many lesbians suffer from.

Love addiction for lesbians comes in many forms. Some struggle by sexually acting out and others are serial relationship junkies, jumping from one relationship into the next. Some are addicted to the high of falling in love and once that wears off don’t know how to handle the day-to-day realities of a committed relationship. Some are even addicted to fantasy and intrigue, while others are love avoidants and sexual anorexics. Love avoidants may be able to get into a relationship but once they are fully committed, struggle with feeling smothered. Others may avoid intimate or sexual relationships all together, becoming sexually anorexic. Some may even vacillate between all of these. The underlying component and common denominator in all of these scenarios is the “Urge to Merge.”

Lesbian Love Addiction is designed to help ameliorate at least part of this problem. Lauren D. Costine offers insight for lesbians, bisexual women in relationships with women, queer women, and more specifically, any woman who loves women, as well as their family and friends, and health care professionals, into the psychology of lesbian love addiction. It will give those who struggle with and suffer from love addiction ways to understand, cope, and heal from this debilitating addiction. It will give those who work with this population new tools to use to do this more effectively. Mostly, it will help lesbians understand their relationship failures and how to heal from problems associated with them, so they may grow and cultivate happier, more fulfilling connections in the future.

Lauren Costine, PhD, is an LA-based therapist specializing in therapy with for lesbians. In addition to her therapeutic practice, Costine is an educator, activist, administrator, and author. She is currently the Chief Clinician and Founder of The LGBT-Affirmative Track at BLVD Treatment Centers – an intensive outpatient treatment center in Hollywood. She was one of the founding members and developers of The LGBT Specialization in Clinical Psychology at Antioch University Los Angeles (AULA), the nation’s first LGBT-Affirmative program where she still teaches. Her involvement included the development and teaching of such popular courses as LGBT History & Myth, Lesbian Liberation and LGBT Community Action.. Professionally, she has presented workshops at various national and regional conferences and has published a number of articles in such magazines as SheWired, Addiction Professional Magazine and Smart Lesbian Online Magazine. As an activist, Costine has helped produce a variety of grassroots psychological cultural events aimed to promulgate LGBT-Affirmative psychological ideas for the community in accessible ways through various mediums via The LGBT Specialization. She has a monthly written and video blog on her website, http://drlaurencostine.com, titled “Dr. Costine’s Commentary.”

Everyone makes mistakes in relationships at one time or another. Sometimes they learn from those mistakes. Other times, they return to those behaviors and cycle through failed relationship after...


A Note From the Publisher

This is a set of uncorrected page proofs. It is not a finished book and is not expected to look like one. Errors in spelling, page length, format and so forth will all be corrected by the time the book is published several months from now. Photos and diagrams, which may be included in the finished book, may not be included in this format. Uncorrected proofs are primarily useful so that you, the reader, might know months before actual publication what the author and publisher are offering. If you plan to quote the text in your review, you must check it with the publicist or against the final version. Please contact publicity@rowman.com with any questions. Thank you!

This is a set of uncorrected page proofs. It is not a finished book and is not expected to look like one. Errors in spelling, page length, format and so forth will all be corrected by the time the...


Advance Praise

Lauren Costine's voice illuminates a path for women outside dominant, heterosexist margins as they navigate love and desire. With excellent research, Costine offers sound theory and practice for lesbians suffering from addictive love and sex. A wonderful resource and a much needed addition to the emerging literary canon for women.
Kelly McDaniel, LPC, NCC, Author: Ready to Heal: Breaking Free of Addictive Relationships


Nothing aids recovery more than the deep identification between one addict and another addict. My own experience has allowed me to help many love addicts. Lauren Costine's thoughtful and well-researched book gives me the opportunity to see love addiction through a "lesbian lens," to better identify with and help even more women. I am grateful to her.
Ethlie Ann Vare, author of Love Addict: Sex Romance and Other Dangerous Drugs (2011)


Lesbian Love Addiction fills a critical gap in the literature on sex and love addiction. Lauren Costine uses research and field knowledge to shine a light in a problem area that desperately needs to be addressed, and her examples make the reading easily accessible for all. It's a welcome resource for professionals, lesbian love addicts, and their loved ones.
Samantha Smithstein, PsyD, licensed clinical and forensic psychologist


Lauren has cracked the code to why so many of my family, friends and clients attach the way they do – in spite of the results. She then prescribes a new way of doing that is understandable and actionable. Brava!
Brad Lamm, CIP, Founder of Breathe Life Healing Centers; Author of How to Help the One You Love

Lauren Costine's voice illuminates a path for women outside dominant, heterosexist margins as they navigate love and desire. With excellent research, Costine offers sound theory and practice for...


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Table of Contents

Foreword: Rob Weiss, LCSW, CSAT-S
Introduction: Once Upon a Love Addiction
1.The Power of Our Physiology
2. The Way We Connect
3. What is Unique About Lesbian Love Addiction?
4. How We Merge and Spiral
5. Withdrawal: What It Is and How It Benefits Us
6. How to Develop a Healthy Relationship with Yourself and Others

Table of Contents

Foreword: Rob Weiss, LCSW, CSAT-S
Introduction: Once Upon a Love Addiction
1.The Power of Our Physiology
2. The Way We Connect
3. What is Unique About Lesbian Love...


Available Editions

EDITION Hardcover
ISBN 9781442248083
PRICE $35.00 (USD)

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